Beautiful Scars
by GleekForHemo
Summary: Brittany is a shy 24 year old waitress. A serious accident left part of her body covered in burn scars. She hasn't been with anyone ever since, what happens when she meets a beautiful brunette at work? AU. Re-upload.
1. Chapter 1

_Hi guys. I wrote this story a few years ago and published it on here but ended up deleting it. I felt like the fandom had gotten a bit toxic towards the end with too much negativity and I didn't enjoy writing fanfiction anymore. However, I recently stumbled across my old works and now that things have calmed down I've decided to reupload this one. I will probably be changing some bits that I don't like. Enjoy!_

* * *

 **Beautiful Scars**

 _Summary: Brittany is a shy 24 year old waitress. A serious accident left part of her body covered in burn scars. She hasn't been with anyone ever since, what happens when she meets a beautiful brunette at work? AU._

 **Chapter 1.**

Brittany woke up with a gasp, covered in a cold sweat. She sat upright and tried to get her breathing down to a normal level. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind and her hands unconsciously traveled to her stomach, rubbing the scars that marked the skin. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to block out the memories. The flames, the blood but most of all the screams.

Once her heart-rate had finally slowed down, she threw the covers off herself and climbed out of bed. Her bare feet padded against the floor as she made her way into the bathroom. She hurriedly undressed herself and turned away from the mirror to avoid seeing the reflection of her naked body. She stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Relaxation immediately took over, allowing her mind to go blank.

She quickly changed into her work clothes and rushed around her apartment to gather her things. She was already running late so she decided to skip breakfast, knowing she would regret it later during the day.

The streets of the early morning were quiet as Brittany made her way towards the bus stop. She pulled her coat closer around her body to shield herself from the cold wind.

The bus screeched to a halt and Brittany hurriedly climbed aboard. She took a seat in the back and glanced at her watch. She was definitely late and her boss would not appreciate it. Having a job as a waitress wasn't ideal, she had to work long shifts and the payment was minimal. It was barely enough to keep a roof over her head. That was also the reason why she used public transportation: she couldn't afford a car right now.

When she arrived at Joey's, she was instantly greeted by her co-worker and best friend Tina. The girl appeared to be shy but was actually very outgoing and fun once you got to know her. Her expression at the moment was anything but happy though. ''Britt, you're late. Hurry up.''

Brittany placed her bag behind the counter and shot her an apologetic smile. ''I'm sorry.''

Tina's eyes softened and she tilted her head, as if she was trying to find the right words. ''It's okay. Did you have another nightmare?''

Brittany simply nodded and tied an apron around her waist. Only a few people knew about the things that haunted her at night and she planned on keeping it that way. The concerned expression on her best friend's face unsettled her and she quickly averted her gaze elsewhere.

She clocked herself in and grabbed a notepad off the counter. She moved mechanically through the first part of the day, taking orders from rude customers and cleaning the mess they left behind. When it was finally time for her lunch break, her stomach was rumbling painfully. She normally tried to stay away from the junk food that was sold at Joey's but she didn't have much choice now that she hadn't brought anything from home.

Tina was already sitting at a table in the back of the diner and she looked up when Brittany joined her. Brittany shot her a smile. ''How was your date?''

Tina had been crushing on a guy named Mike for months now and he finally asked her out last week. Brittany hadn't been on a date in forever but her jealousy disappeared as quickly as it came when she saw the happiness in her best friend's eyes. ''It was amazing. He brought me to this fancy restaurant and the whole evening was like a dream.''

She threw her head back to emphasize her words and Brittany couldn't help but smile. ''He sounds like a keeper.''

Tina nodded her head enthusiastically and continued to inform her on every detail of the date.

Lunch break ended way too quickly and before Brittany knew it, she was on her feet again.

The diner was overloaded with customers and she quickly rushed to a table that hadn't ordered yet. She flashed them a bright smile. ''Hi, can I take your order?''

A young woman with blonde hair and hazel-green eyes looked up from her menu and returned the smile. ''Yeah I'd like to have the chicken parmesan please.''

Brittany nodded and wrote it down in her usual sloppy handwriting. Her eyes then landed on the brunette that was busy typing away on her phone. The blonde one slapped her arm to get her attention. ''S!''

The brunette, whose name apparently started with an S, finally looked up and Brittany's eyes met a deep shade of brown. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment everything went silent around her. The girl was beyond beautiful, there was no doubt about that.

She was snapped back to reality when the brunette arched an eyebrow at her. Brittany realized that she had missed her order and her cheeks tinted red in embarrassment. ''I'm sorry?''

Her voice came out unusually high-pitched and her cheeks became even redder than before.

The brunette gave her a lopsided grin. ''I'll have the same.''

Brittany shot them a small smile and decided to remain silent, not trusting her voice. She dropped the orders off in the kitchen and helped another customer. Her feet hurt and she was beyond exhausted but she wasn't even halfway through her shift yet. She couldn't remember the last time she had a good night rest and it was beginning to wear her down.

She could feel someone's eyes on her and she turned around to see the brunette from before smiling at her. Brittany blushed a little, for some reason she felt the need to talk to her but she decided against it.

Brittany continued to help customers as the time dragged on agonizingly slow. The table that was previously occupied by the two girls was now empty and she couldn't deny the disappointment that coursed through her veins.

Her shift came to an end eventually and she barely managed to keep her eyes open on the bus ride home. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window, watching the cars that passed by.

When Brittany arrived at her apartment, she threw her bag on the couch and made a beeline to her bedroom. She changed out of her work clothes and sat down on the edge of her bed. She sighed as she examined the scars, an uneasy feeling settling in her chest.

She opened a drawer of the bedside table and grabbed the tube of ointment. She squeezed some of the minty smelling cream onto her fingers and started to rub it across her ribcage, on her flat stomach, across her lower back, over her hips and on her upper legs. She hated the sight of the scars but the cream made the tissue less sensitive.

Exhaustion began to overwhelm her and she pushed herself off the bed to put on some sleeping clothes. She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth, looking at her appearance in the mirror. There were dark circles under her dull blue eyes and her skin was even paler than usual. Brittany blinked a few times but nothing changed.

She crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her body. Luckily she had a late shift tomorrow so she could sleep in. She closed her eyes and could only hope for a night without nightmares.

* * *

Santana stared at the blank page of her laptop. She knew exactly what she wanted to write, she just couldn't decide on how to write it. It was almost midnight and she had to submit an article on American pop culture to Schuester's Magazine in less than a week. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard before she sighed in defeat.

''Fuck this.'' She muttered, grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. Fresh air was the best way to cure writer's block.

She left her apartment and began to make her way down the dark streets. It was cold outside and Santana's breath left her mouth in small, white puffs. She shoved her hands into her pockets and dropped her gaze to the dark concrete beneath her feet. Her mind was still completely blank and frustration was beginning to build up inside of her.

Her eyes landed on an illuminated sign in pink and blue that read: Joey's. Santana remembered having lunch there with her best friend Quinn a few days ago. She licked her lips at the thought of a fresh cup of coffee and hurriedly crossed the street.

The diner was quiet with only a few people gathered at the tables. Santana slid onto a stool at the counter and the waitress that was standing behind it looked up. Bright blue eyes met warm brown ones and Santana finally remembered why she had enjoyed eating at this diner so much. It was because of the gorgeous girl that worked there.

She gave the blonde a small smile. ''Can I have a cup of coffee please?''

The waitress blinked a few times and then nodded her head. She returned with a pot of coffee less than a minute later and leaned over the counter to pour Santana a cup. ''There you go.''

Her voice was soft, almost angelic and Santana was determined to hear more of it. She tried to think of a way to start a conversation but couldn't come up with anything. She raised the cup of coffee to her lips, blowing on the hot liquid before carefully taking a sip. Her eyes followed the blonde who was cleaning some glasses. Her features were relaxed but Santana hadn't missed the hint of sadness in her eyes earlier.

Santana had almost finished her cup of coffee when the waitress finally looked up. Her eyes scanned the diner before they finally landed on Santana. Her eyebrows pinched together and Santana hoped that she was going to say something. A few seconds of silence passed before her wish came true. ''So what brings you here this late at night?''

Her voice was unsure, as if she was afraid of crossing a line by asking the question.

Santana shot her a reassuring smile. ''I'm trying to find some inspiration for work.''

The waitress nodded and stuffed the dish towel that she had been using in the pocket of her apron. ''What do you do?''

Santana was happy that the conversation wasn't over yet. ''I write articles for Schuester's magazine.''

A small smile formed on the blonde's lips. ''So you're into music?''

''I sure am.'' Santana replied enthusiastically. She wanted to ask for the blonde's name but she didn't know if she could. She settled for the following instead. ''Are you?'' The girl's face scrunched up in confusion and it was the most adorable thing Santana had ever seen. She chuckled and added, ''Into music.''

Realization washed over the blonde's features. She shrugged. ''I guess. I used to dance.''

The hint of sadness in her eyes was now also evident in her voice. It became clear to Santana that this subject was off limits. She wanted to take another sip of her coffee but realized that her cup was empty. The waitress gestured towards the pot and Santana nodded gratefully. The waitress gave her a small smile and refilled her cup. ''Thanks.''

The blonde nodded and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. Santana smiled. ''How late does your shift end?'' As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized what an odd question it was. ''Not that it's any of my business. I mean, you look tired and...''

She trailed off before she could humiliate herself any further. The blonde smiled a smile that actually reached her eyes this time. ''It's okay. I get off at two.''

''Do you often work late shifts?'' Santana asked, subtly trying to get an idea of her schedule.

''Only on Mondays and Thursdays.''

Santana nodded. ''There must be a lot of weird people around at this time.''

''Kind of. I'm talking to one right now.'' The waitress replied with a smirk.

Santana put her hand over her heart, feigning heartbreak. ''I'm not weird.'' For the first time that night, the other woman laughed and Santana was certain that it was the most beautiful sound in the world. She decided to test her luck. ''What's your name?''

The blonde tilted her head and studied Santana's face for a few seconds. She seemed so guarded and for some reason Santana felt the need to break through those walls. After what seemed like forever, she finally received an answer. ''It's Brittany.''

Santana couldn't help but smile, the name fit her. ''I'm Santana, it's nice to meet you.''

* * *

It was finally Sunday which meant that it was Brittany's day off. She dragged herself out of bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She was so tired, it felt like she was just going through the motions without feeling anything. It had been that way for two years and she didn't think it was ever going to change.

She got dressed, she ate breakfast and went to the store to do some grocery shopping. All on autopilot. Her gaze remained lowered, avoiding eye contact at all costs. She knew that her clothing covered her scars but sometimes it felt like there was a big neon sign over her head that read "broken". Brittany kept to herself for the most part, there were only two people in her life that she considered her real friends.

One of them was Tina and the other one came barging into her apartment later that night. Brittany was just lounging on the couch, reading a book when Noah Puckerman disturbed her quiet. She'd been friends with him since high school and he was like a brother to her.

While all her other friends had disappeared from her life after the accident, Noah had always been there for her and their bond had only become stronger.

''I brought you some food.'' Noah said, dropping a bag of what appeared to be Chinese take-out on the table. He took off his jacket and plopped down on the couch next to Brittany.

''Thanks but I'm not really hungry.'' Brittany mumbled. She closed her book and put it down before drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them protectively.

Noah sighed sadly. ''You have to eat something, Britt. You're getting way too skinny.''

While Noah claimed to be 'a badass ladies' man', he was actually really kind and caring. He had grown up a lot since high school, he had gotten rid of the nickname 'Puck' and made a decent living as a prison guard. Brittany hated the concerned look in his eyes so she stood up and grabbed two plates from the kitchen. She handed one to Noah and returned to her spot on the couch. Her friend seemed satisfied and immediately began to eat.

''So how are you?'' Noah asked after a while. ''Be honest with me.''

''I'm fine.'' Brittany replied, setting her plate down on the table. ''I've been really busy with work.''

''You know that's not what I meant.'' His voice was stern but gentle. He scooted closer until their shoulders were touching. Brittany knew that this was his way of showing that he was there for her. ''Are you still having nightmares?''

Brittany knew that there was no point in lying because he would see right through her. She dropped her gaze to her lap and slowly nodded her head. Noah set down his plate as well and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. ''Don't take this the wrong way but maybe it's time to seek professional help.''

Brittany's head shot up at this and she shrugged off his hand. ''I don't need a shrink, Noah. I'm fine.''

Her voice came out a little harsher than intended and Noah raised his hands in defense. ''Okay, I'm sorry.''

An awkward silence settled over the room and Brittany immediately felt guilty for snapping at her friend. She knew that he was just trying to help. She opened her mouth to apologize when Noah's ringtone sounded. He shot her a small smile and took his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

Brittany took this as her cue to stand up. She brought the plates to the kitchen and washed them off. She returned to her spot on the couch just as Noah finished his call. He turned to face her. ''We're going out for drinks with Sam and Mercedes. They're picking us up in half an hour.''

Sam worked with Noah and Mercedes was his girlfriend. Brittany had seen the couple a few times but she wouldn't consider them her friends. She sighed. ''I'm not really in the mood for drinks.''

Noah didn't seem surprised by her words. He'd been trying to convince her to go out for drinks for two years now and her answer was always the same. ''Come on Britt, you can't lock yourself up in your apartment forever. I know that you work late shifts on Mondays.''

Brittany raised her hands to briefly massage her temples. She knew that he was right but her fears dominated her mind. Noah seemed aware of her inner conflict because he sent her a reassuring smile. ''It'll be fun. I promise.''

Brittany studied his face for a few seconds and then finally gave in. ''I don't know what to wear.''

Her friend smiled like he had just won the lottery. He stood up from the couch and gestured for her to follow. He led her into the bedroom and started to rummage through her closet.

Brittany sat down on the bed and just watched him. ''You're not seriously giving me fashion advice, are you?''

''Just trust me.'' Noah said, glancing over his shoulder. Brittany sighed and waited patiently until he finally found what he was looking for. He handed her a black knee-length dress and a pair of heels. ''I'll wait for you outside.''

Brittany nodded and took the items from him. Noah smiled and disappeared from the room. Once she had changed, she finished her outfit with some accessories and walked into the bathroom to curl her hair. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and took a deep breath before re-entering the living room.

Noah was sitting on the couch and he looked up when Brittany walked in. A huge smile formed on his face. ''You look amazing.''

Brittany nervously bit her lip and looked down at herself. ''Can you see anything?''

Noah's eyes turned sympathetic and he got to his feet. He placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder and spoke in a gentle voice. ''You look beautiful, just trust me for once. The girls will be fighting over you.'' Brittany's lips twitched into a small smile and Noah recognized that look. He smirked. ''You met someone, didn't you?''

Brittany's thoughts wandered to Santana. The brunette had stopped by the diner almost every day this week. She was funny and it was easy to talk to her. Brittany felt comfortable around her. She looked at Noah who was still waiting for an answer. ''Maybe.''

He grinned. ''Tell me everything! I'm still your bestie.''

''Shut up, Puckerman.'' Brittany lightly slapped his arm. ''Her name is Santana. I met her at work.''

''Is she hot?''

''That word doesn't do her justice.'' Brittany replied, giving him a disapproving look. ''She's absolutely gorgeous.''

''You've got it bad!'' Noah laughed, earning a glare from Brittany. ''Why don't you ask her out on a date?''

Brittany averted her gaze to the floor, the familiar uneasy feeling twisting her stomach.

''Someone as beautiful as her would never be interested in me.'' She lifted her head to meet Noah's sad eyes. He opened his mouth to protest but Brittany didn't give him the chance. ''Let's go before I change my mind.''

Noah sighed but didn't say anything. He put on his jacket and linked their arms together as they left the apartment. Sam's car was already parked outside and they climbed in the backseat. They all greeted each other before Sam started the engine and pulled out of the parking space.

''I'm so glad that you decided to join us!'' Mercedes told Brittany. She was wearing a beautiful red dress and her hair fell over her shoulders in waves. Brittany had always been jealous of how confident she was. ''We haven't seen you in forever.''

''We hear plenty of things about you from Noah though.'' Sam said, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

Brittany arched an eyebrow at Noah, silently asking for an explanation. He laughed. ''What? You're practically my little sister.''

Brittany rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile. She focused her attention on Mercedes again. ''How's your album getting along?''

Mercedes was an amazing singer and had recently signed a record deal with a small label. ''Things are going great. We've just finished writing all the songs so we'll probably start with the recording process soon.''

''That's awesome.'' Brittany replied genuinely. ''I can't wait to hear the result.''

''You won't be disappointed.'' Sam said from the driver's seat. He shot his girlfriend a proud smile and Brittany couldn't help but be a little jealous of their connection. They were obviously very in love and it reminded Brittany of how lonely her own life was. She sighed and rested her forehead against the car window.

When they arrived at Mojo's it was very busy but they were allowed to cut the line because Noah apparently knew the owner. Brittany had to admit that it was a little unfair but she didn't mind. The bouncer let them through and they walked into the club.

They ordered some drinks and a guy in a black suit guided them to the private booth Noah had managed to get them. They slid into a seat and Brittany took a moment to scan her surroundings. The dance floor was packed with people moving to the music and a familiar urge bubbled up inside of Brittany. She quickly tore her eyes away and focused them on Sam who was telling a story.

After they had finished their first drink, Noah leaned in to speak in Brittany's ear. ''Come dance with me.'' Brittany went to shake her head but he continued. ''Just allow yourself to have fun for once.''

Brittany pulled back a little to look at him. Panic built up inside of her and she nervously began to fiddle with her bracelet. ''I'm not sure.''

''Please, for me.'' He clasped his hands together and put on the biggest puppy dog eyes.

Brittany sighed and gave him a small nod in response. He grinned and took her hand to lead her onto the dance floor.

Brittany swallowed thickly and tried to push the negative thoughts in her mind away. Her steps were hesitant at first but they grew more confident as she allowed the music to carry her away. There was suddenly a tap on Brittany's shoulder and she turned around to face an attractive redhead. The girl started to grind against her and Brittany stood frozen for a few seconds before she copied the movements. She threw a quick glance at Noah and saw that he was dancing with two girls at the same time. She shook her head in amusement and focused her attention on the redhead again.

The girl encircled Brittany's neck with her arms, pulling their bodies closer together. Brittany shook off the uncomfortable feeling that she got and repeated Noah's words in her head, _just allow yourself to have fun for once_.

The girl suddenly pressed her lips against Brittany's, taking her by surprise. It took a few seconds before she started to kiss back, slightly parting her lips to grant the girl access. She tried to relax but everything about this felt wrong. The girl, the dancing…

The kiss quickly became heated and Brittany was snapped back to reality when the girl's hands began to wander up and down her sides. She broke the kiss and pulled away. The girl looked at her with a confused expression but Brittany just shook her head and went to find Noah.

She tapped his shoulder to get his attention and leaned in to speak in his ear. ''I'm going home.''

His eyes filled with concern and he placed a hand on her lower back to guide her towards a quiet corner of the club. ''Are you okay?''

''I can't do this, Noah.'' Brittany replied, her throat constricting. ''I just can't.''

''Brittany.'' Noah said gently. ''I know that it's hard but you've got to pick up your life at some point.''

Brittany lowered her head in embarrassment and blinked away the tears that were burning behind her eyes.

''I know but I'm just not ready yet.'' She slowly lifted her head to meet Noah's eyes. ''Can you tell Sam and Mercedes that I'm sorry? I really am.''

Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to keep her tears at bay. Noah frowned, his eyes holding nothing but sadness. ''It's okay, Britt. I know that you are. Do you want me to take you home?''

Brittany shook her head. ''I'll take a cab.'' She pinched the bridge of her nose, frustrated with herself. ''I'm really sorry.''

''Stop apologizing. It's fine. You tried and I'm proud of you for that.'' Noah told her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Brittany buried her face in his shoulder, she always felt safe in his embrace. ''Be careful, okay?''

They pulled back and Brittany nodded. ''I will. Enjoy the rest of your night.'' She shot him a small smile and started to make her way through the crowd.

When she got outside, she waved over a cab and gave the driver her address. The man gave her a curious look, one that had probably something to do with the tears that were now streaming down her face. She ignored him and leaned back in her seat. She was beyond frustrated with herself, it felt like she would never be able to overcome her fears, no matter how hard she tried. How could anyone ever love her if she couldn't even look at her own body without wanting to curl up into a corner and hide from the world?


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for everyone's kind words. I'm glad there are still Brittana fans out there. Here's the next chapter. Ps. I know some people might struggle a bit with Puck's character, but I wrote this story 3 years ago and decided to leave things the way they are._

* * *

 **Chapter 2.**

"I'll be right there!" Santana yelled, hoping to put an end to the knocking on her door. She was just about to email the final version of the article to her boss. It had turned out pretty good, if she said so herself. She pressed the send button and closed her laptop. The knocking had started again at full force and Santana let out an annoyed groan as she stood up to open the door. "Christ Quinn, what is your problem?"

Quinn ignored the question and walked straight past her. "You need an intervention."

Santana closed the door and followed the blonde into the living room. She crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You've cancelled our plans twice this week because you'd rather spend your time at Joey's!" Quinn explained in a dramatic voice.

"I go there to write. I've come to the conclusion that it's best not to stay cramped up in my apartment all day." Santana replied calmly. "You're starting to sound like a possessive girlfriend. I thought that you didn't play for my team."

Quinn rolled her eyes, ignoring the comment. "We both know that you only go there to perve on that waitress."

Santana raised her eyebrows. "You're making me sound like some creepy old man."

"So you're not denying it!" Quinn pointed a finger at her. Santana threw her a glare but didn't say anything. Quinn smirked in victory. "What's her name again? Brandi, Brody, Bruce…"

"Really Quinn? Bruce?" Santana interrupted her. "You can be so annoying. It's Brittany."

A self-satisfied grin spread across Quinn's features. She clasped her hands together. "I'm here to save you from your sad dating life." Santana opened her mouth to protest but Quinn quickly continued. "We are going to eat dinner at Joey's and then you're going to ask Brittany out."

Santana sighed in defeat. "I don't even know if she's into girls."

Brittany hadn't shared much personal information during their conversations so Santana didn't know much about her. Every time Santana tried to get her to open up, it was like her walls only became thicker. There was something about her though and Santana was determined to get to know her. Because even with the exhaustion written across her delicate features and the ever present sadness in her blue eyes, Brittany was the most beautiful girl that Santana had ever seen.

"Earth to Santana." Quinn waved a hand in her face. She grabbed Santana's coat and handed it to her. "I repeat, there's only one way to find out."

"Wait!" Santana stopped her. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's Monday so her shift doesn't start for another twenty minutes."

Quinn shook her head. "It's worse than I thought." She sighed and sat down on the couch, obviously annoyed about having to wait. "Did you submit the article?"

Santana sat down next to her, relieved that she'd been able to buy herself some time. "I just did. Have you been informed on next month's edition yet?"

Quinn worked at Schuester's Magazine as a graphic designer. The two instantly got along when they were introduced to each other on Santana's first day. Quinn nodded. "Latin music. I like it."

"Will put me in charge of the main article." Santana mumbled, huffing angrily. "That racist bastard."

"He's just satisfied with your work." Quinn said, giving her a light pat on the back. "Lighten up, S. This is a huge deal given your age."

Santana had initially started out as an intern but the internship had turned into a fulltime job in less than a year. At the age of 25, she was one of the youngest fulltime writers at Schuester's Magazine.

"I guess." Santana mumbled absentmindedly. A few moments passed before an idea suddenly hit her. "Hey, we should go see that movie you've been bugging me about for weeks."

Quinn sighed and replied with a simple, "No." She glanced at the clock and a small smile graced her lips. "We're going to get your girl, right about now."

She stood up from the couch and started to make her way towards the door. Santana grabbed her coat and quickly followed the blonde.

"What if she says no?" Santana asked, her usual confidence suddenly disappearing. "That would seriously damage my ego."

"Good." Quinn said, smirking at the expression on her friend's face. "I'm kidding. She won't say no." Santana eyed her skeptically but decided not to say anything. "I've already seen that movie with Rachel by the way."

"You've been hanging out with that midget?" Santana asked, scrunching up her nose in fake disgust. Rachel had been Will's assistant for about two months now. She talked too much but Santana didn't actually dislike her that much.

"She's nice." Quinn answered her with a shrug.

They left the apartment and Santana realized that there was no way out of this.

* * *

The bus was pretty packed but Brittany had somehow still managed to find a seat near the back. She stared out of the window as her mind wandered back to last night. She had always thought that things would get easier with time but she was really starting to doubt that. After the accident, the hospital had offered her counseling but she had always refused. The thought of talking about what happened with a stranger made her feel really uncomfortable and she couldn't even talk about it without choking up.

Her parents had stayed by Brittany's bedside the entire time she was in the hospital. When she was finally released after a few months, it had been hard to adjust to being back at home and her parents had tried their best to help her through that. They had to go back to Ohio eventually though and couldn't distract Brittany from reality anymore. After weeks of moping around, Noah had managed to convince her to find a job and that's how she had ended up at Joey's. Anything was better than being alone with her own thoughts for too long.

When Brittany arrived at work, she was ten minutes early. Mondays were always exhausting because her shift started just before the dinner rush. Luckily, she would be working with Tina and Marley today and it was always fun to be around them.

"Hey Brittany!" Marley greeted her enthusiastically. She had only been working at Joey's for a few months but Brittany really liked her. It was like the girl had a permanent smile on her face and it was contagious.

"How are you?" Brittany asked in response. She placed her bag behind the counter and took off her coat. Marley sighed heavily and sent her a look that said it all. Brittany let out a soft chuckle. "Trouble in paradise?"

"I guess you could say that." Marley answered. She had been fighting with her boyfriend Zach a lot more often since the two had moved in together. "He never cleans up after himself and it's so frustrating!"

Brittany smiled and tied an apron around her waist. "That's why I don't date men."

"Speaking of dating," Marley began with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "when are you finally going to ask that girl out?" Brittany raised her eyebrows in surprise and Marley laughed. "You know, the sexy Latina that comes in here every day."

"Her name is Santana." Tina's voice suddenly piped up. She dropped an order off at the kitchen and turned around to face them. "I've been wondering the exact same thing, Britt. She's definitely into you."

Brittany started to fold some napkins to busy herself. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Have you seen the way she looks at you?" Tina asked.

Marley made a noise of agreement. "Don't tell me that she only comes here for the food because it's not _that_ great."

"I'm going to let that comment slide." Joey suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The guy was a little strange but he did truly care about his employees. He had a huge collection of glasses and wore a different color every day, green being today's choice. "Get to work ladies."

Brittany was happy that the conversation was over and immediately did as she was told. It was quite busy already so she quickly grabbed a notepad and began taking orders. As much as she appreciated her friends' help, she highly doubted that Santana was actually interested in her. The brunette simply came to the diner to write and she was probably just being nice by talking to Brittany. She couldn't help but feel disappointed though because she did really like Santana.

Thoughts of the brunette consumed Brittany's mind and even without looking up, Brittany knew that it was her who walked into the diner about ten minutes into her shift. Brittany smiled at the elderly couple who she had been talking to and walked away from their table. Her eyes scanned the diner until they connected with warm brown ones.

Santana was seated at a table in the corner. Brittany instantly noticed that she was with the same girl as on the first day they met. Her stomach lurched in an unpleasant manner but she shrugged it off: she didn't have the right to be jealous.

Santana smiled at her and gave her a small wave. Brittany blushed a little and shyly returned the gesture. She unconsciously lifted her hand to fix her hair and slowly approached the table. She greeted the two with a soft, "Hey."

Santana's smile grew about an inch. "Hey Britt." The shortening of her name made Brittany's heart speed up in a good way. "This is my best friend Quinn, by the way."

Brittany smiled politely. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Brittany."

"Oh I know." Quinn replied with a smirk. Brittany looked at her with a confused expression but didn't get the chance to say anything.

"How are you?" Santana quickly regained her attention.

"I'm good." Brittany said with a small nod. "Did everything work out with the article?"

Santana smiled widely, as if she was happy that Brittany still remembered. "It did, thanks for asking."

Brittany felt someone's eyes on her and she turned her head to meet Joey's gaze. He arched an eyebrow at her and gestured for her to hurry up. She nodded and focused her attention on the two women again. "Well, it looks like I have to move along."

A look of what seemed to be disappointment flashed across Santana's face but Brittany figured that she was just imagining it.

Once Brittany had scribbled down their orders, she dropped the note off at the kitchen and continued to help other customers. The diner was unusually crowded for a Monday night and it felt like Brittany's feet were going to fall off from the amount of walking she had to do.

After about an hour, things finally quieted down a little and Brittany took a moment to breathe. She got herself a glass of water from behind the counter and drained it greedily.

Her back was aching and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. When she opened them again, she was surprised to meet Santana's brown orbs. Brittany threw a quick glance at Quinn who was watching them in a not very subtle way before meeting Santana's eyes again. "Hi."

Santana sent her a small smile in return and slid onto a stool at the counter. She seemed to be nervous which was strange considering her usual confidence. "So..."

Brittany waited patiently for her to continue but after a few seconds it became clear that she wasn't going to. A small chuckle escaped Brittany's lips. "So?"

Santana sighed and clasped her together in front of her. "I was wondering if," She paused for a few seconds and then rushed out the rest of the sentence. "you'd like to go on a date? With me?"

Brittany would've smiled at how cute Santana was being if she hadn't been so surprised by her words. A feeling of happiness momentarily rushed through her until reality set in. After the accident, Brittany had sworn that she would never date again. She couldn't even look at her own body without feeling disgusted and she didn't want to grow attached to Santana only to get dumped later on.

Hesitation must've been noticeable on her face because Santana's smile slowly faded and she nervously shifted in her seat. "Brittany?"

The sound of Santana's voice pulled Brittany from her thoughts. The uncertainty on Santana's face made her look so vulnerable and Brittany instantly felt guilty when the following words left her mouth, "I can't."

Santana's face fell.

"Oh." She awkwardly cleared her throat. "You have a boyfriend, don't you? Of course you do, I'm such an idiot."

It seemed like the words were more directed to herself than to Brittany.

Brittany wanted to correct her but in the end she simply mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Santana said quietly. She hopped off the stool. "I guess I'll see you around."

With that, Santana walked away from Brittany and back to Quinn. She exchanged a few words with her friend and Brittany's eyes followed them as they left the diner.

Brittany stood frozen in place until Tina slapped her arm. "Brittany Susan Pierce, what the hell was that?"

Brittany flinched at the use of her full name. "Excuse me?"

Tina placed her hands on her hips and shook her head in disapproval. "She finally asked you out and you said no! Why would you do that?"

"Because!" Brittany threw her hands up in frustration. Tina's eyes widened at the harsh tone of her voice and she instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry." She quickly apologized. "I said no because how could anyone ever like this?" She gestured down to her body.

Tina's eyes softened and she placed a hand on Brittany's arm. "You should let Santana decide that for herself. She obviously likes you a lot, give her a chance."

Brittany sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Tina."

"You're beautiful, Britt, and your scars don't change that. I understand that you're afraid of getting hurt but Santana seems like a good person." Tina told her gently, giving her arm a soft squeeze. "Besides, it's not like you're agreeing to marry her. It's just a date."

Brittany's lips quirked up into a small smile. It disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared though. "It's too late now. She's probably never coming back."

"You know where she works right?" Tina asked. Brittany nodded. "I'm sure that you can find her there."

Brittany bit her lip and took a moment to think about it. She felt weak for letting her fears get the best of her, again. After a few seconds she finally gave in. "Okay, I'll go during my lunch break tomorrow."

Tina smiled widely. "Good girl." She cheered. "Remember, you're not leaving that building without success."

Brittany rolled her eyes, playfully. "Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

The next day, Brittany was standing on the sidewalk in front of a small silver toned building. She had looked up the directions to Schuester's Magazine the night before and it hadn't been a long walk from Joey's. Her stomach twisted in nerves and this suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea after all. For the first time in her life, Brittany was determined not to run away though.

She looked into the reflection of the window and quickly fixed her hair. With a few deep breaths, she finally pushed the door open.

She slowly made her way through the small lobby towards the front desk. The receptionist was talking on the phone and she held up a finger, gesturing for Brittany to wait. Brittany took this as an opportunity to look around. The walls were lined with vinyl records and posters. There was a huge staircase that led to the second floor where the offices were located. The atmosphere seemed relaxing and pleasant.

"Can I help you?" The woman behind the desk asked. Brittany's nerves returned in full force and she briefly considered making a run for it. There was always the chance that Santana didn't want to go on a date anymore after Brittany had rejected her. It would be beyond embarrassing if that were the case. "Ma'am?"

Brittany realized that she had been silent for too long. She awkwardly shifted from foot to foot. "Uh, I'm looking for Santana."

"I'm afraid she's not here right now." The woman answered, sending her an apologetic smile. "She usually works from home."

Brittany nodded and nervously scratched the back of her neck. Tina's voice echoed through her mind, _you're not leaving that building without success_. Brittany sighed. "Can you maybe give me her address?"

"I'm afraid that I can't give you that information." The woman replied. "I have to respect the privacy of our employees."

"I understand." Brittany mumbled, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "Thanks for your help."

Brittany turned around and began to make her way towards the door. She had never felt this stupid in her entire life. Santana would probably never return to the diner again and Brittany would never see her again, all because she let her fears dominate her life. Tina was right, she should've given Santana a chance but it was too late now.

Her hand just reached out for the door handle when her name was called. Brittany turned around and came face to face with Quinn.

The shorter blonde wore a confused, slightly defensive expression on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Santana." Brittany explained.

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

Brittany dropped her gaze to the floor. She knew that Quinn was just looking out for her friend but she could be strangely intimidating. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday."

"I see." Quinn said. Brittany instantly noted that her voice had softened considerably and she hesitantly lifted her head. Quinn smiled at her. "I knew you'd come around."

Brittany gave her a small nod in reply. "Can you give me her address? I'd really like to talk to her in person."

Quinn nodded so Brittany rummaged through her bag and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper.

"There you go. It's about a 5 minute walk from here." Quinn said once she'd scribbled down the address. She gave Brittany some directions and handed her the piece of paper. "Don't mess it up this time."

"I won't." Brittany said, trying to sound as confident as possible. "Thanks Quinn."

She gave the blonde a small wave and rushed out the door, determined to talk to Santana before her lunch break ended. Her eyes scanned the address a few times and with Quinn's directions, it wasn't too hard to find the right place. Santana lived on the third floor of the apartment building. Brittany didn't even bother waiting for the elevator and took the stairs instead.

Brittany reached the right door slightly out of breath. She hadn't had the time to think this through in her rush to get here and all her doubts resurfaced. A million things ran through her mind and with every passing second she became less and less confident. Brittany closed her eyes for a moment. Like Tina had already said, it was just a date so what's the worst that could happen? Brittany took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock on the door, only to let it fall down her side again. She mentally cursed herself for being such a nervous wreck.

The clock kept ticking on and Brittany knew that it was now or never if she wanted to make it back to work on time. She raised her hand again and finally brought up the courage to go through with the action.

After a few minutes, Brittany heard the door being unlocked and she took a step backwards.

Santana appeared and her face scrunched up in confusion. "Brittany?"

Brittany just stared at her, unable to form any words. Santana's hair was tied into a messy bun but she still looked so beautiful.

"What are you doing here?"

Brittany wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans.

"I-I…" She stammered, her cheeks turning red. Her inability to speak caused Santana to raise her eyebrows at her. Brittany lowered her head in embarrassment. "I shouldn't have come here."

She wanted to walk away but Santana's voice stopped her.

"Britt, wait." Brittany swallowed thickly and hesitantly lifted her head to meet Santana's eyes. The warmth she saw in them made her heart flutter in her chest. "Please tell me."

Santana's voice was so sweet and it instantly made some of Brittany's nerves disappear.

She sighed. "Quinn gave me your address. I wanted to apologize for yesterday and maybe," She took a deep breath and squeaked out the next words. "you'll consider going on a date with me after all?"

The brunette's face remained blank and Brittany felt like she was going to throw up. Finally, Santana cleared her throat and spoke in an even voice. "What about your boyfriend?"

"Huh?" Brittany blurted out in confusion.

"When I asked you if you had a boyfriend yesterday, you didn't deny it." Santana explained.

Brittany thought back of their conversation and realization washed over her.

She gave Santana a small smile. "I don't have a boyfriend." Santana nodded but didn't say anything. A few seconds of silence passed before Brittany finally found the courage to continue, "So, do you still want to go on this date? I understand if you don't want to. I acted like an idiot yesterday and I'm really sorry and…"

"Brittany." Santana silenced her rambling, tilting her head in amusement. "I'd love to go on a date with you."

Relief washed over Brittany's features and it was like she finally remembered how to breathe again.

Santana let out a soft chuckle. "How about Friday night?"

Brittany quickly nodded her head. "Friday's good. I mean awesome. Cool."

She mentally slapped herself as soon as the words left her mouth. It seemed like she had lost all her dating skills over the last few years.

Santana smiled. "Let me give you my number so we can exchange the details."

Brittany nodded in agreement. When she realized that she had forgotten her phone at work, she grabbed a pen out of her bag and handed it to Santana. She wanted to look for a piece of paper as well but Santana curled her fingers around her wrist and wrote the digits down on her hand. Brittany's skin tingled from the touch and she felt a blush creep onto her face.

"There you go." Santana said as she handed the pen back to Brittany. "Text me."

She smiled warmly and Brittany couldn't help but smile back.

"I will."


	3. Chapter 3

_I know Brittany's parents were introduced in season 6 but I decided to leave them the way I first wrote them._

* * *

 **Chapter 3.**

The next couple of days passed by very slowly. Santana had a hard time focusing on her work because her mind was filled with thoughts of a certain blue eyed blonde. She just wanted their date to be perfect. That was all.

The problem, however, was that planning a date wasn't one of her strongest points and she had no idea where to take Brittany. That's how she found herself at Joey's that afternoon. She knew, how creepy as it was, that Brittany's shift wouldn't start until a few hours so that gave her plenty of time to ask Tina for advice.

"Hey, Santana." Tina greeted her with a smile. "Brittany won't be here until later."

"I know." Santana said without thinking. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment at the weird look she received from Tina. She awkwardly cleared her throat. "I'm here for you actually."

"Oh?"

Santana took a seat at the counter before she explained herself. "As you probably already know, Brittany and I are going on a date tomorrow." She waited for a nod of confirmation before continuing. "I was wondering if you could give me any advice on where to take her. What are some things that she enjoys doing?"

Tina smiled. "Well, simplicity is key. I wouldn't bother trying to impress her by taking her to a fancy restaurant or something like that."

"Okay, so nothing too expensive. What else?"

"Oh, don't take her to a place that's majorly overcrowded. She doesn't like that." Tina added quickly. Santana looked at her curiously but didn't ask anything. "Don't worry too much Santana, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Santana sighed. She couldn't remember the last time she had put this much thought into something. "I just want to get to know her better."

"Then that's what the date should be about." Tina told her. "I'm sure you'll think of something. Brittany probably won't care anyway, she'll be happy with whatever you come up with as long as it's nothing weird."

Santana smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Tina was silent for a second as her expression changed into a serious one. "I like you Santana but I have to say this. Brittany's my best friend, she's been through a lot and I'm very protective of her. I can tell that you're a good person and as cliché as it sounds, just don't hurt her." She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice as she added, "I have eyes everywhere so I will find out if you do and I'll make your life a living hell."

Santana gulped nervously, surprised by how intimidating Tina could be, and quickly shook her head. "I would never hurt her. I promise."

"Great." Tina cheered, her usual smile suddenly back in place. "I'm glad that we have an understanding."

"We sure do." Santana agreed as she quickly got to her feet. "Thanks for your help, Tina. I should really get going now."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Tina said.

Santana shot her a smile and hurried out the door, glad she made it out of there in one piece. She wasn't easily impressed but who would've thought that Tina could be scary.

* * *

"What the hell happened in here?" Noah asked, looking at the clothes that were spread out across the floor of Brittany's bedroom. Brittany jumped in surprise and covered her heart with her hand.

"Jesus Noah, you scared me." She said once her heart-rate had slowed down again. She continued to rummage through her closet and tossed a few t-shirts over her shoulder. "I gave you a key to my apartment for emergencies only."

"This looks like an emergency to me." Noah mumbled, looking around the room once more. "Britt, what are you doing?"

Brittany sighed and let her arms fall down her sides in frustration. "I have a date with Santana in less than an hour and I have no idea what to wear."

"You have a date?" Noah raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I guess I was so nervous that I forgot." Brittany explained, shooting him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

"No worries." Noah assured her as he bent down to pick up some clothes from the floor before taking a few steps closer to Brittany. "Is she picking you up?"

Brittany nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, did she tell you what she's got planned?" Noah asked.

"No." Brittany said softly, feeling nerves bubbling up inside of her again. She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "She just told me to dress casually. What does that even mean?"

Noah let out a soft chuckle and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. Everything's going to be just fine now that I'm here to help you."

Brittany eyed him skeptically. "Are you going to give me fashion advice again?"

"I sure am." Noah replied with a smirk. He stepped in front of Brittany and started to look through her closet. Brittany sighed in defeat and just waited. After a while, Noah handed her a pair of black skinny jeans, a simple white t-shirt and a leather jacket. "Casual and hot at the same time. Her jaw will hit the floor once she sees you. Don't forget to thank me."

Brittany rolled her eyes. "I won't."

"In all seriousness," Noah began, his expression matching the tone of his voice. "I'm really proud of you for doing this. I know that it's not easy for you."

"Thanks, Noah." Brittany smiled, giving him a one-armed hug. "You're a really good friend."

Noah brushed his hand through his hair with a smug look on his face. "I know."

Brittany laughed and shoved him playfully. "Now please leave."

"Yes Ma'am." Noah smiled, already making his way to the door. He glanced over his shoulder. "Text me afterwards to let me know how it went."

Brittany nodded and waited until she heard the door slam shut before changing into the clothes that Noah had picked out for her. She took a few deep breaths and managed to calm herself down enough to fix her hair and make-up.

If possible, her nerves had increased even more by now. She knew that Santana would be there soon. She sighed, frustrated with herself, and continued to pace up and down her room, glancing at her watch every five seconds.

Finally, a round of knocks sounded and Brittany's heart leaped into her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to gather her thoughts. A shudder of anxiety rippled through her body and for a split second she felt like she was going to be sick. Doubts and insecurities began creeping into her mind and she let out a shaky breath. All this made her want to call the whole thing off but she quickly realized that it was too late for that now.

Santana, the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, was already waiting for her and backing out now would be ridiculous. Brittany opened her eyes and slowly made her way to the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and hesitated for another second before turning it.

Her breath caught in her throat like it always did whenever she came face to face with Santana. The brunette looked stunning, long hair flowing over her shoulders, a smile gracing her full lips. Brittany suddenly felt really self-conscious but she forced her fears to go away. She cleared her throat and sent Santana a shy smile, "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed. She let her eyes scan up and down Brittany's body and Brittany felt her cheeks heat up at the attention. "You look beautiful."

Brittany's cheek turned even redder than before, blushing furiously. "Oh, uh, thank you. So do you." She stuttered out nervously.

Santana narrowed her eyes. "Are you feeling alright?" She asked, taking in Brittany's flustered demeanor.

"Huh?" Brittany blurted out, tilting her head to the side. She mentally cursed herself for acting like an idiot, again. "I'm fine, just a little nervous."

Santana's features softened. "You don't have to be nervous, Britt. It'll be fun, I promise."

Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest at the sweet tone of Santana's voice. Her nerves were instantly put at ease a little. She wondered how the brunette could be this relaxed for a date but she didn't ask. Instead, she stepped outside and locked the door behind her. She smiled at Santana. "Alright, let's go."

Santana returned the smile and placed a hand on the small of Brittany's back, guiding her out of the building and to her car. Santana's touch was light and Brittany could barely feel it but it still sent jolts of electricity through her body.

They talked about nothing in particular on the way. Brittany kept asking Santana where they were headed but she refused to say anything. Finally, she gave up and asked her about work instead. She admired how happy and content Santana seemed as she spoke about what she loved doing most.

"Santana, are you lost?" Brittany asked after a while, looking at the trees that were lining each side of the narrow dirt path they were following. "You're not planning on killing me and dumping my body in the woods, are you?"

"How did you guess?" Santana shot her a serious look. Brittany's eyes widened slightly and Santana chuckled in amusement. "I'm kidding. Of course I won't leave your body as food for the wolves, that's just cruel."

"You suck." Brittany pouted.

Santana just smiled and stopped the car.

They both got out and Brittany looked around. Her curiosity grew when Santana opened the trunk and grabbed a backpack. "What are we doing here?"

"Patience." Santana reminded her.

She slammed the trunk shut and they started walking. Santana guided them around the trees, carefully dodging the branches that whipped at them, and up a hill. Brittany concentrated on her steps as they followed a trail deeper into the woods. It was dark in this area and she had a difficult time seeing where they were going. She was so focused on her feet that she failed to notice that Santana had stopped walking and bumped into her, causing her to lose her balance. Santana reacted quickly and grabbed her arm to support her.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

Brittany nodded, a little embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Santana looked at her for another moment before letting go of her arm. "It's just a little further."

They continued walking and finally came to a stop at a small clearing that overlooked part of the city. The sun was beginning to set, creating a beautiful pattern of color across the sky.

Brittany couldn't stop the wide smile appearing on her face. "It's beautiful."

"I brought food." Santana stated, taking off her backpack. "I thought we could just talk and get to know each other better while we eat." She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "I hope that's okay."

Brittany smiled softly at how adorable she was being. "That sounds perfect."

Santana breathed out a sigh of relief. She spread a rug on the ground and they both sat down on it, cross-legged. She then pulled two still warm containers of food out of her backpack along with a set of plates, knives and forks, and drinks. "I hope you like pasta."

"I love pasta." Brittany told her. "I can't believe you did all this."

"Well the sunset wasn't my doing." Santana joked, earning another smile from Brittany. "But yeah, my dad once took me here when I was younger and I still come back every now and then. It's a great place to clear your mind."

She fixed two plates of food and handed one to Brittany who thanked her. The blonde took a bite and let out an appreciative hum. "This is delicious." She said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I'm glad you think so." Santana smiled.

A few moments passed in which they ate in a comfortable silence before Brittany suddenly blurted out, "What's your favorite movie?"

Santana shot her a surprised look but answered the question anyway.

"The notebook."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't tell anyone but it makes me bawl every time."

"I would be worried if it didn't." Brittany said, looking slightly amused. "I tend to avoid sad movies because of the mood they leave me in. I prefer light-hearted stuff that makes me laugh."

"That makes sense." Santana said with a nod of the head. "So, what's your favorite Christmas movie?"

"How the Grinch stole Christmas." Brittany answered without any hesitation. "What's yours?"

"Elf."

"What's your favorite color?"

Santana couldn't help but smile. Brittany seemed a lot less nervous than before so she didn't mind being bombarded with questions.

"Blue." She said confidently, her eyes never leaving Brittany's. Brittany blushed and shyly ducked her head. Santana grinned and continued. "What's your favorite book?"

"All the Harry Potter books. Do you have an irrational fear?"

"I'm afraid of killing spiders." Santana said seriously.

Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"Their family might come after me because they saw me do it." Santana explained, shuddering at the thought. Brittany momentarily stared at her with a blank expression on her face and then started laughing. Santana's lips formed into a pout. "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized after she had composed herself. "But that's adorable."

Santana smiled shyly and looked down at her hands. "It's not."

"It is." Brittany insisted. She tapped her finger against her chin as she tried to think of her next question. "What's your full name?"

"Santana Marie Lopez. And yours?"

"That's pretty." Brittany remarked. "Mine is Brittany S. Pierce. Not to be mistaken with Britney Spears."

Santana tilted her head in amusement. "What does the 'S' stand for?"

"Susan. After my mom."

During the rest of the meal, they avoided serious topics and just learned small things about each other that they didn't know before. Santana learned that Brittany was an only child. Her Dutch parents had moved to America thirty years ago and they lived in a small town in Ohio where Brittany grew up. Brittany learned that Santana was also an only child. She had been living in the city her whole life and her parents lived there as well.

"Are you close with your parents?" Brittany asked.

Santana sighed and pushed her food around on her plate, distractedly. "Not really. They refuse to accept that I'm gay so they kind of ignore that part of me and it always leads to an argument. We don't talk anymore."

Brittany could tell that this was a sensitive subject for her. She shuffled a little closer and placed a comforting hand on the brunette's arm. "I'm sorry to hear that, Santana."

Santana flashed her a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks, Britt."

Once they had finished eating, Santana gathered everything and shoved it back into her backpack. "Do you want to walk around for a bit?" She asked, not quite wanting the date to end yet. "I know a longer path back to the car."

Brittany nodded and they both stood up. They started to walk through the woods, following a path that snaked around the trees. Their hands brushed against each other every now and then and the touch made Santana feel light-headed. Hit by a sudden wave of boldness, she finally slipped her hand into Brittany's warm one. She sighed in relief when Brittany gave her hand a soft squeeze and didn't pull away.

"Can I ask you a question?" Santana asked, breaking the peaceful silence around them.

Brittany nodded. "Sure."

"When we first met, you said that you used to dance. Why don't you anymore?"

Brittany let out a sad sigh, her eyes dropping to her feet.

Santana heard it and immediately assumed that she had done something wrong. She was just about to apologize when Brittany spoke up.

"Some things happened and I decided to give it up." She sighed again. "It's complicated."

Santana nodded, not wanting to push the matter. "Do you like your job at the diner?"

"It's not that bad." Brittany shrugged. "Some days are really boring and some are absolutely exhausting. I work with great people though so I don't really mind. I just do what I got to do to stay above water."

"But it doesn't make you happy." Santana concluded. Brittany didn't say anything so she continued. "What _does_ make you happy?"

Brittany took a moment to think this over. She hadn't danced seriously since the accident and she had sworn to never do so again. The truth was, however, that dance was the only thing she had ever been passionate about, even with the painful memories that it brought her now. She chewed on her bottom lip and then softly said, "Dance."

"Then why isn't that what you're doing?" Santana asked carefully. "I know that it's a hard industry but you can make it if you really fight for it. You're an amazing person and you deserve to be happy. If dance is-…"

"Stop it." Brittany interrupted her harshly. She abruptly stopped walking and ripped her hand out of the brunette's grasp. "You don't know anything about me."

Santana looked at her with shock written all over her features. Blue eyes were filled with an emotion she had never seen before and she didn't know what to think. She was silent for a few seconds before she found her voice again. "You're right. But I want to get to know you, Brittany. Isn't that what this is all about?"

Brittany stared at her for a second and her demeanor slowly softened. She inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, Santana. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"You're right, you shouldn't have." Santana told her. Guilt flickered in Brittany's eyes and she lowered her gaze to where her hands were nervously tugging at her shirt. A small frown settled on Santana's forehead. She didn't understand how Brittany could go from acting defensive to looking vulnerable in a matter of seconds. She was a complete mystery at times but Santana wasn't going to let that stop her. "It's okay though. Let's just forget about it."

Brittany's eyes hesitantly met hers. "I hope I haven't ruined our date."

"You haven't." Santana reassured her with a small smile. She offered her hand and Brittany took it. They resumed their walk and Brittany was relieved that there was no awkward tension between them. When they reached the car, Santana quickly ran to the passenger's side to hold the door open for Brittany. "There you go."

"Thank you." Brittany smiled as she got inside.

The drive back passed way too quickly for Brittany's liking and before she knew it, Santana pulled up in front of her apartment. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap as she thought of what to do next. She hated how inexperienced she was when it came to dating but somehow Santana made her feel comfortable without really doing much. It made her feel somewhat confident.

"Thanks for tonight." She said softly. "I had a great time."

"I'm glad you agreed to go out with me." Santana replied, turning in her seat to face her.

"Me too." Brittany swallowed thickly. Her hands were starting to feel clammy again. "Can I- Do you maybe want to go out for coffee sometime soon?"

The beaming smile that Santana sent her was all the reassurance she needed. "Yeah, sure."

"Cool. I'll text you." Brittany said somewhat awkwardly. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. She sent Santana one last smile as she climbed out of the car. "Okay, bye."

"Wait." Santana called as she quickly got out of the car as well. "Let me at least walk you to the door."

Brittany stopped walking and waited until Santana had caught up with her. They walked to the door in silence and Brittany couldn't help but feel nervous. They came to a halt and Brittany had no idea what to do next. Luckily, she didn't have to think about it for too long because Santana leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. "Good night, Brittany."

Brittany's whole face flushed and butterflies erupted in her stomach. Her eyes fluttered shut and she reached up to touch the spot that Santana had just kissed. By the time she returned to Earth, Santana was already out of sight. She sighed happily and made her way inside her apartment.

She kicked off her shoes and walked into her bedroom. She sent Noah a text informing him that the date had gone well. It took him less than three seconds to reply, telling her that he was glad to hear that. She put her phone away and decided to take a quick shower before bed.

When she emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, she quickly changed into a sleep shirt and a pair of sweatpants and sat down on the edge of her bed. She jumped a little when her phone suddenly rang. Her mom's name flashed across the screen and she answered it.

"Hi mom."

"Hoi, lieverd _(Hi, sweetheart)_." Her mom greeted her in Dutch. "We haven't spoken in a while so I thought I'd call you. Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's fine." Brittany told her. It had indeed been a while since she had last contacted her parents. She loved them to death but they could be a little too protective at times, especially after the accident, and she hated being told how to live her life. "What's up?"

"I just called to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine. You know, the usual. I've been busy with work mostly."

"Your dad and I miss you, Britt." Came the sad reply. "Do you think you'll be able to make it home anytime soon?"

Brittany hated how her mom could make her feel guilty so easily. She sighed. "I don't know, mom. I doubt that I'll be able to get out of work for longer than a weekend and the long bus ride isn't really worth that."

"It's only a couple of hours by plane." Susan said in a hopeful tone. "Your dad and I can pay for your ticket."

A wave of panic washed over Brittany at the suggestion. She nervously rubbed her hand up and down her thigh where her scars were hidden underneath her clothing. "I-I can't- You know that I can't." She replied shakily.

Her mom sighed. "Maybe it would be good for you, Britt."

"I don't want to!" Brittany snapped. "I can't believe you'd even suggest that after…" She trailed off and closed her eyes, willing the images to leave her mind. Her stomach clenched painfully and her breathing sped up. "I can't." She whispered again.

"Okay, it's alright." Susan soothed, sensing that her daughter was getting herself worked up.

Brittany let out a shuddering breath and listened as her mom exchanged a few words with whom she assumed was her dad.

Finally, the older woman spoke into the phone again. "I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's okay." Brittany said quietly. "I know you were just trying to help."

"Maybe your dad and I can fly out to see you when we have time. We can stay at a hotel or something. We'll discuss it another time, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Brittany mumbled tiredly.

"So what else has been keeping you busy?" Her mom tried to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.

Brittany perked up at the thought of Santana. She wasn't sure if she should tell her mom about her, considering how nosy she could be, but her excitement won. "I just came home from a date." She blurted out.

"Oh how exciting! What's her name?"

A dopey smile spread across Brittany's face. "Santana. I met her when she was eating at Joey's."

"That's lovely." Susan said, smiling at how happy her daughter sounded. "When can we meet her?"

"Mom!" Brittany's eyes widened in horror. "We've only been on one date."

"I was just kidding, honey." Her mom laughed. She was silent for a moment and then continued in a more serious tone. "I'm happy to hear that you're dating again but please be careful."

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. Don't you think that you should be focusing on yourself right now? I spoke with Noah the other day and maybe you should reconsider talking to a professional."

Brittany frowned. "Noah called you?"

A pause. "Yes and before you get mad, know that he was just looking out for you. He's worried about you, Brittany. So are your dad and I."

Brittany clenched her jaw and exhaled sharply through her nose. "Don't be." She said as calmly as possible. "I promise that I'm fine. I can take care of myself." Her mom tried to say something but Brittany cut her off. "I should really go now. I have an early shift tomorrow."

"Britt-" Susan tried again but was once again interrupted by Brittany.

"Good night, mom."

With that, she ended the call and slammed her phone down on the bed. She rubbed a shaky hand over her face and let out a heavy sigh. Her heart was still hammering against her ribcage and she just sat there for a while, eyes squeezed shut, trying to clear her mind.

She opened her eyes again and grabbed the tube of ointment that was waiting for her in the drawer. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to throw it across the room but she knew it wouldn't make a difference. She would still wake up in the morning covered in horrible scars that made her feel disgusting.


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter gets a little intense towards the middle. Going to be uploading these chapters pretty fast._

* * *

 **Chapter 4.**

Brittany was walking down the street after a long day of work. It was Tuesday and she would be meeting up with Santana for coffee as promised. There was a cold breeze blowing, making her shiver and turning her hair into a tangled mess. It was a rainy day and clouds hung over the sky. She glanced at her watch and grimaced when she realized that she was running late.

She arrived at the small coffee shop and looked around for Santana. Dark hair instantly caught her eye and a small smile crept onto her face. She took a deep breath and slowly walked up to Santana. Her palms were getting sweaty as nerves bubbled up inside of her like always.

"Hi, San." She said softly, the nickname easily falling from her lips.

Santana looked up and smiled widely, causing her dimples to show. Brittany's knees felt weak at the sight. Santana stood up to give Brittany a warm hug and Brittany couldn't help but inhale her sweet scent, feeling the resulting tingles travel all the way down her spine.

"I'm sorry for being late." The blonde apologized once they were both seated.

"Don't worry about it." Santana assured her. She pushed a cup of coffee that Brittany hadn't noticed before in her direction. "I hope you don't mind but I ordered already."

"That's sweet of you but I wanted to pay." Brittany pouted.

"You can pay the next time." Santana said, shooting her a playful wink.

Brittany nodded and took a sip from her coffee. "Vanilla caramel latte. My favorite. How did you know?"

"A lucky guess." Santana shrugged. She leaned back in her chair while holding her own cup between her hands, a calm smile gracing her features. "How was work?"

"It was alright. There was this one annoying guy who kept sending his food back because it wasn't satisfactory. Joey's is a diner, not a fancy restaurant."

"Do you often get rude customers?"

"Every now and then." Brittany told her. "Sometimes it's hard to stay friendly but counting to ten in your head helps."

"I admire your patience. I would probably punch someone in the face on my first day." Santana said, causing Brittany to laugh.

And just like that, she had made all Brittany's nerves disappear. They chatted for hours about all kinds of things. It felt like almost no time had passed but when Santana looked down at her watch, she was sad to see that it was getting late. It was only then that she noticed that there weren't many people around them anymore.

"Can I maybe give you a ride home?" She asked as they gathered their things.

"That would be great." Brittany said gratefully.

She followed Santana to her car and got into the passenger's seat as Santana climbed into the driver's seat. They chatted and laughed as Santana drove. They pulled up in front of Brittany's apartment complex a few minutes later and Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks for the ride. Can we meet up again soon?"

Santana nodded and leaned over to give her a hug that probably lasted a little longer than usual hugs. They parted and she smiled, "Text me later."

"I will." Brittany said as she got out of the car. Santana followed her with her eyes and waited until she was safely inside before driving away.

* * *

The next couple of weeks flew by. They spent as much time together as possible, had gone on a few other dates and texted each other almost non-stop.

It was a Thursday night now and Santana was sitting at her desk, furiously typing away on her laptop. The article that she was working on had been going pretty well so far but she was stuck on one paragraph. She sighed in frustration and didn't even hesitate before getting up and grabbing her coat. She knew what the cure to writer's block was by now.

It was raining outside and she shamelessly cursed under her breath as she hurriedly made her way down the streets. Luckily, Joey's wasn't far from her apartment so she arrived there in no time. She walked through the door and smiled at Tina who was standing behind the counter. She was slowly becoming friends with the girl now that she was dating Brittany.

She unconsciously stopped walking when she realized what she was thinking. Were her and Brittany dating in a serious way like that? She liked to think that they were but they hadn't discussed it yet. To be honest, she was a little nervous to ask Brittany about it. She had never liked anyone as much as she liked Brittany and she just wanted to do things right.

"Santana, why are you just standing there?" Tina's voice caught her attention.

She blinked a few times and shot Tina a sheepish smile as she resumed her walk. She shrugged off her coat and sat down on her usual stool. "It's quiet in here."

"Yeah, probably because of the weather." Tina said. She held up a pot of coffee and Santana nodded gratefully. "Are you having writer's block again?"

Santana took a sip from her coffee before answering. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"You never come in here to write when Brittany isn't present unless you have writer's block." Tina replied as if it was obvious. Santana looked a little embarrassed and she chuckled. "It's okay. It's cute."

"Yeah, whatever." Santana rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Her shift starts in an hour, right?"

"Brittany's?"

"No, my mom's." She muttered sarcastically.

"Your mom works here? What's her name?"

Santana set her cup down and narrowed her eyes. "You're not funny, Tina."

"I totally am." Tina said, earning a glare from Santana. She sighed dramatically. "Fine. Yes, her shift starts in an hour."

"Thank you so much." Santana said in an exaggeratingly sweet voice. She reached down to pull her laptop out of her bag and got to work. Most people found it hard to concentrate with a lot of background noises but it actually helped Santana. She had no idea why.

Half an hour later, a guy suddenly sat down next to her. He was tall and had dark hair. It turned out that Tina knew him because she greeted him enthusiastically. "Hey, Noah. I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know. Did you miss me?"

"Always."

Noah smiled and took off his leather jacket. "Where's Brittany?"

"Girl's popular tonight. Her shift is supposed to be starting in thirty minutes so she should be here soon." Tina informed him. She caught Santana's questioning glance. "Oh, Santana this is Noah. Brittany's other best friend."

Santana nodded in understanding. "Hi."

"It's nice to finally meet the famous Santana." Noah said with a smirk. Santana arched a questioning eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "Brittany has told me all about you. Don't worry, all good things."

Santana couldn't help but smile at this piece of information. "Well, the feelings are mutual."

"So, what are you doing here?" Tina asked.

"I was walking home and it started pouring so I came inside to warm up." Noah explained. "Besides, I'm hungry. Can I have a burger and fries?"

"Of course." Tina scribbled the order down and walked to the kitchen to drop it off. She returned less than a minute later and gestured to the pot of coffee. "Do you want some?"

Noah nodded. "Sure."

They fell into a comfortable silence after that. Noah sipped his coffee as he waited for his food while Santana typed away on her laptop. Another fifteen minutes passed and there was still no sign of Brittany. Santana figured that she must be running late.

A sudden roar of thunder startled her and she jumped in her seat, clutching her heart. "Jesus."

"Chicks call me that sometimes." Noah smirked but there was a glint of something else in his eyes. Another loud clap of thunder sounded and his features slowly twisted into a concerned expression. He looked at Tina who seemed equally as worried. "Have you heard from Brittany?"

Tina slowly shook her head. "No, nothing."

"Shit." Noah muttered under his breath. He fished his phone out of his pocket and tried calling her but she didn't pick up. He sighed and brushed his hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. "What should we do?"

Tina looked conflicted. "I don't know." A deafening roll of thunder echoed throughout the diner and Tina suddenly looked determined. "She shouldn't be alone, that's for sure."

Santana watched the exchange with a furrowed brow, utterly confused. "What the hell is going on?" She demanded.

Noah ignored her. "Can you leave for a bit?" His voice sounded urgent.

Tina bit her lip and quickly walked up to another waitress. She exchanged a few words with her before returning to them. "Let's go." She said as she threw off her apron.

Noah was already halfway out the door and Tina quickly caught up with him. Santana hurriedly shoved her laptop in her bag and followed them into the rain. "Hey!" She snapped angrily. "Will someone tell me what's happening?"

"Go home, Santana." Noah said as Tina unlocked the door of her car. "She'll call you when she can."

"Don't tell me what to do, asshole." Santana growled in a low voice. She cut off his path by stepping in front of him and shoved a finger into his chest. "I have the right to know what's going on with my almost-girlfriend."

Noah looked annoyed but finally gave in. "Fine. Get in the car."

Santana didn't need to be told twice. She barely had time to close the door behind her when Tina sped off towards Brittany's apartment. The drive was completely silent. The looks on Noah and Tina's faces unsettled Santana and she couldn't stop fidgeting in her seat. The car abruptly came to a stop and they all jumped out. The thunder was still rolling and it was pitch black outside except for the occasional flashes of lightning.

Santana followed Tina and Noah as they ran into Brittany's apartment building and down the corridor. She watched impatiently as Noah fumbled with the keys before Tina took them from his shaking hands and unlocked the door.

"Britt?" Noah called out as they walked inside. "Are you here?"

It was then that Santana realized that this was the first time that she was in Brittany's home. She quickly scanned the place. Brittany's bag was lying on the couch, there was a plate of half-eaten dinner standing on the coffee table and the TV was still on. She watched with curious eyes as Noah and Tina immediately walked towards what she assumed was the bedroom and quickly followed them. She hated not knowing what was going on. It made her feel like some random bystander.

Noah frantically looked around the dark room. "Brittany?"

A small whimper sounded and Santana's breath hitched in her throat at the sight that met her gaze. Brittany was curled up into a tiny ball on the floor next to the bed, shaking uncontrollably.

Santana tried to inch closer but Tina stopped her and spoke in a stern but gentle voice. "I know that you're worried, Santana. But she really needs Noah right now."

Santana swallowed thickly and nodded. The brunette followed Noah with her eyes as he knelt down in front of Brittany. She had her hands over her ears, her eyes were squeezed shut and the sound of her rapid breathing could be heard over Noah's words of comfort.

"Brittany." He spoke softly. Brittany didn't respond and curled further into herself, rocking back and forth. Noah reached out and lightly rested his hand on her shoulder but Brittany flinched and scrambled backwards.

"You're okay." Noah tried a second time. He carefully reached out again and covered one of Brittany's hands with his own. He gave it a gentle squeeze when she struggled against his grip. "It's okay."

Santana's heart clenched in her chest when she caught sight of the tear streaks on Brittany's cheeks. It pained her that she wasn't able to do anything, but she knew that it was better to let Noah handle the situation since he had a better understanding of what was happening.

Brittany breathed out sharply through her nose and shook her head, burying her face deeper into her knees. Noah finally managed to pry her hands loose, receiving a weak whimper in response. He let his hand come to a rest at the nape of her neck. "Britt, listen to me. You're safe. Everything's okay."

Brittany began rocking more violently. He gently ran his hand up and down her back, urging himself to stay calm for her sake. "You need to breath, Britt."

Brittany coughed and slightly lifted her head, struggling against Noah's hold. "I-I… c-can't…" She wheezed out a reply. Another loud clap of thunder shook the room and she whimpered, scooting closer to the wall and banging her head against it with a painful thud. "M-make it s-stop."

"No, no, Britt." Noah pleaded, tightening his hold on her. "You need to breathe. Focus on your breathing." He brushed the hair away from her face and spoke in a low, gentle voice. "Follow my lead, okay?" He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, exaggerating his breaths. "Just like that. Can you do that for me?"

Tears threatened to escape Santana's eyes as Brittany continued to struggle. She had no idea what was happening and she was terrified. Tina seemed to sense this because she grabbed her hand and gave it a soft squeeze, trying to calm her.

After a few agonizing moments, Brittany finally inhaled, sucking in a trembling lungful of air. She blinked heavily at the painful feeling that came with it, tears still freely sliding down her cheeks.

Noah sighed in relief and pulled her head to his chest. "That's it." He cooed, holding her close as she trembled violently from exertion. "It's okay."

Brittany fisted her hands in his shirt and pressed her face into his shoulder. "Noah?"

"I'm right here." He whispered into her hair. "You're okay."

Brittany slowly breathed in and out. "I'm scared." She whispered shakily. "Make it stop, please."

Noah felt his heart break at how broken and lost her voice sounded. "Try to think of something else." He said softly, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "You're safe, Britt. I swear." He pulled back a little and gently ran the back of his hand over the clammy skin of her forehead. "Is it okay if I move you now?"

Brittany gave him a small nod in reply. She was seemingly unaware of Santana's presence who was watching her with wide eyes. Noah lifted her up in his arms and put her down on the bed. He sat down behind her and locked his arms around her trembling frame. It was still thundering outside but it was becoming quieter and less frequent.

"It's almost over." He said.

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and took a hesitant step forwards. "Britt?"

Brittany's eyes snapped up to meet hers and they widened considerably, her whole face flushing red.

Brittany was shocked to see Santana there. Her stomach churned uncomfortably and she felt cold sweat begin to trickle down her back. It felt like heart was going to explode in her chest as panic began to rise within her. She stared at Santana for a moment and then turned her head, burying it in Noah's chest.

"It's okay, Britt." Santana said, trying to keep her voice steady but failing miserably. She took another step forwards but Brittany frantically shook her head, refusing to meet her eyes. "Brittany…"

"Maybe you should go." Tina said softly from behind her. "She's really shaken up right now and she needs to rest."

"But I- She-…" Santana stammered. She paused and took a deep breath. "What just happened?"

Noah gently rocked Brittany from side to side when he felt her tense up. She pressed her lips tightly together and whined softly, shaking her head again. Noah looked at Santana, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions. "I'm sorry Santana but it's not our place to tell you. Tina is right, maybe you should go."

"Let Brittany decide that for herself." Santana said firmly. Noah contemplated this for a moment but then nodded his head in approval. She focused her attention on Brittany again, trying to make eye-contact to no avail. "Britt, do you want me to stay?"

Her brow creased in a painful frown when Brittany remained silent. She stood there for a long time, waiting for some kind of response, and then finally let her shoulders droop in defeat.

"Fine." She mumbled as she turned around to leave the room. She glanced over her shoulder once more and eyed Brittany worriedly. "I'll call you tomorrow, Britt."

Brittany vaguely heard the front door slam shut. She felt the bed dip next to her with additional weight and a hand gently smooth back her hair.

"I'll call Joey." Tina said softly, the words more directed to Noah than to Brittany.

Brittany didn't hear Noah's response. Her eyes were beginning to droop as the earlier events caught up with her. She tried to fight it but it wasn't long before sleep overcame her.

* * *

Santana shivered as she walked through the cold night air. The image of Brittany's tear stained face was burned into her mind and she didn't think she'd be able to get any sleep tonight. Seeing Brittany so scared had been heartbreaking and she had wanted nothing more than to push Noah aside and hold her in her arms. Being shut out hurt a lot more than she liked to admit.

Brittany was obviously struggling with _something_. She didn't know if she was prepared for whatever that something was. She did know that it didn't scare her. She already cared about Brittany too much to be scared off.

Without really thinking about it, she ended up outside of Quinn's apartment. She paused to wipe away the tears that had gathered under her eyes and then raised a shaking hand to knock on the door. Quinn appeared a few minutes later.

"Santana?" She asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? Do you realize how late it is?"

Santana had lost track of time so she had no idea. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but no words came out. Quinn's eyebrows pinched together in concern and she held the door open wider, gesturing for Santana to come inside. Santana walked past her and into the living room where she dropped her bag and slouched down on the couch.

"I need a drink." She mumbled, finally finding her voice again.

Quinn just nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. She returned with two glasses of wine and handed one to Santana. "What in the world happened?" She asked as she joined her on the couch.

"Honestly? I don't know." Santana answered the question truthfully.

Quinn carefully studied her friend's face. It was obvious by the redness of her eyes that she had been crying. Realization suddenly hit her. "Did something happen with Brittany?"

Santana sniffled and slowly nodded her head. Quinn waited patiently for her to start explaining. Santana was silent for a long time, having no idea where to start. Finally, she began to tell Quinn about everything that had happened. Starting with how she had gone to Joey's as a result of writer's block and ending with how she had gone to Brittany's apartment with Tina and Noah.

"It looked like she was having a panic attack." Santana said, feeling a shiver run down her spine. "It was so scary."

Quinn took a moment to process everything she had just been told. "Do you know what caused it?" She asked.

"Tina and Noah began freaking out when the thunder started." Santana replied, taking a sip from her wine. She let out a shuddering breath. "Brittany kept asking Noah to make it stop."

Quinn pursed her lips in thought. "Maybe she's just really afraid of thunderstorms."

"Obviously." Santana said, trying to sound sarcastic but not quite succeeding as her voice was barely above a whisper. "There is more to it though. I know it." She sighed and looked down at her hands. "She didn't want me to stay."

"She wasn't thinking clearly so don't feel too bad." Quinn said, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "And besides that, she was probably embarrassed. This is something that she obviously didn't want you to know yet."

Santana knew that Quinn was just trying to make her feel better but it wasn't working at all. She drained her glass of wine and remained silent. She suddenly pulled her phone out of pocket and Quinn shot her a questioning look. "What are you doing?"

"Calling Britt." Santana said.

Quinn sighed and gently pried the phone away from her. "I don't think that's a good idea right now, honey."

"But I need to talk to her!" Santana protested. "I need to make sure that she's alright."

"Noah and Tina are with her." Quinn told her calmly. "She's probably asleep right now."

Santana stared at her for a second and then slumped further into her seat. "You're right."

"Why don't you stay here tonight? You can sleep in the guestroom." Quinn suggested. "I don't want you to walk home this late when you're so upset." Santana thought about it for a moment and then nodded her head once. Quinn smiled warmly. "Try to get some rest. You look exhausted."

"Okay." Santana mumbled, slowly pulling herself upright. She leaned in to give Quinn a hug. "Thanks, Q."

"Anytime, S."

* * *

The first thing Brittany registered when she woke up was the pounding in her head. She blearily cracked her eyes open and blinked a few times, trying to make the blurriness go away. She licked her dry lips and slowly pulled herself into a seated position. Memories of last night started flooding her mind and her heart began to pound in her chest.

She slowly got to her feet and began to make her way towards the living room. Hushed voices could be heard and she stopped walking, carefully poking her head around the door. Noah and Tina were standing there, appearing to be in a discussion. Brittany frowned when she caught the last part of Noah's sentence.

"…Can't go on like this."

"What are you saying?" Tina asked in a sharp whisper. "We can't force her to do something that she doesn't want to do, Noah."

Noah sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Well, talking to her won't work. I already tried that. She claims that she doesn't need help."

Brittany clenched her jaw once she realized what they were talking about. She decided to make her presence known and stepped into the room. She cleared her throat. "You can stop talking about me behind my back now."

Their eyes snapped in her direction and a flicker of guilt washed over Tina's face. "We are just worried about you, Britt. Can you blame us after what happened last night?"

Brittany lowered her head in shame and shifted from foot to foot. "I'm fine." She said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I promise."

"What would've happened if we hadn't shown up?" Noah asked in frustration. "You couldn't breathe, Brittany!"

Brittany lifted her head to meet his dark eyes. "Don't you think I know that?" She yelled angrily. Noah looked at her in shock and she instantly felt bad. She paused to take a deep breath and continued in a softer tone. "I'm sorry."

Noah sighed and took a step in her direction. "Look, Brittany, I understand that it's hard but you can't keep everything bottled up inside. Talk to me, to your parents, to _someone_ … That's what _she_ would've wanted."

"Don't." Brittany growled, shooting him a warning look.

"We just want to help you." Noah went on. "You scared us last night. Santana most of all."

Brittany's mouth went dry and her palms became sweaty at the mention of Santana's name.

"You shouldn't have brought her here." She said in a low voice. "You… you ruined everything!"

Noah's brow furrowed. "You're going to have to tell her at some point, Brittany."

"No, I don't." Brittany mumbled. She closed her eyes and raised her hands to massage her temples. She could practically feel the veins throb as they drummed against her skull. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have a headache and you're making it worse."

"Fine." Noah reluctantly agreed. "You should eat something."

Brittany sighed in relief and dragged herself into the kitchen. Tina followed her and guided her to a stool, sitting her down.

"I'll make you something." She said before she turned around to grab some things. A glass of water was placed in front of Brittany a few seconds later and some Tylenol was handed to her. "For your headache."

"Thanks." Brittany said, giving her a small smile.

"I have to be at work in an hour so I should go." Noah announced. He came up behind Brittany and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Will you be alright?"

"I'll be fine." Brittany assured him.

Noah hesitated for a moment but then nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll call you later. Take care of yourself." He turned to walk away but Brittany stopped him by grabbing his arm. He shot her a confused look. "What is it?"

Brittany noticed the dark circles under his eyes and her heart twisted in guilt. "Thanks for last night."

Noah just nodded sadly. He said goodbye to Tina and with that he was out the door. Brittany sighed heavily and buried her face in her hands, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep and hide from reality for as long as she could.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5.**

Brittany was so embarrassed about what happened that she did everything within her power to avoid Santana in the following days. She ignored her phone calls and hid in the back whenever Santana showed up at Joey's, making Tina tell her that she wasn't there. It made her feel guilty but she was convinced that Santana wouldn't want to be around her anymore once she knew everything and she wasn't ready to lose her yet.

"Can't you see that ignoring her is what will drive her away?" Tina asked her about an hour into her shift that day.

Brittany turned away from her and started to rinse out some glasses, trying to distract herself. "She probably has questions. This way I don't have to tell her anything and she won't want to stop seeing me." She said in a calm voice.

Deep down she knew that what she was doing made no sense at all.

"Who says that'll happen?" Tina asked in frustration. She walked closer to Brittany and placed a hand on her shoulder, urging her to look up. Brittany hesitantly did so, meeting sad, brown eyes. "What will it take for you to see that you're beautiful?"

Brittany swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears there were pricking in her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of Tina. She turned her head away once again and stonily stared ahead.

"Just leave me alone." She said, her voice wavering slightly.

Tina sighed sadly and dropped her hand. Brittany could feel her eyes burn holes into the side of her head but she ignored it. She knew from the beginning that she was going to have to tell Santana about her accident at some point but she didn't know that it would be this soon. She wasn't ready yet.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Brittany's shift ended at the same time as Tina's. A wave of jealousy crashed through her when Mike came to pick Tina up. They looked so happy together and she couldn't help but want that too. Her thoughts wandered off to Santana for the millionth time that day and her jealousy was replaced with sadness. She didn't think that she had the right to feel that way though, not when _she_ was the one distancing herself from the person who had finally brought some happiness into her life again.

When she arrived home, she changed into some comfortable clothes and immediately crawled into bed. She didn't have the energy to do anything besides sleeping. Especially since she had to work another shift in the morning. She figured that maybe things would be better by then. Who was she kidding though.

* * *

Santana wasn't in a good state. She hadn't heard from Brittany in days and it was slowly driving her crazy. All her calls went straight to voicemail and every text she sent remained unanswered. She didn't know why Brittany was avoiding her. It obviously had something to do with what happened during the thunderstorm and she wished that Brittany would just talk to her about it.

She groaned when she faintly heard a knock on the door and buried her face further into her pillow. A few seconds passed before the sound repeated itself and Santana sighed in frustration. She threw the covers off herself and climbed out of bed.

"Damn, you look like shit." Quinn said after Santana had opened the door. Santana shot her a glare and wordlessly moved into the living room. Quinn closed the door and followed her. "I'm assuming you still haven't heard anything from Brittany?"

Santana plopped down on the couch, grabbed the remote control of the TV and started to flip through the channels.

"No, she's still ignoring me." She mumbled in frustration, brushing a hand through her messy hair in an attempt to smooth it down.

"I'm sorry, S." Quinn said softly as she sat down in the armchair.

Santana decided that the sound of the TV irritated her so she turned it off. "I just don't know what I did wrong." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "How am I supposed to fix things when she won't even talk to me?"

"I can't believe this." Quinn frowned in disapproval. "What a bitch."

Santana whipped her head around in Quinn's direction and narrowed her eyes. "Don't call her that." She snapped angrily. "You know nothing about her, Fabray. She's the sweetest person I've ever known so shut your mouth."

"Whoa, calm down." Quinn raised her hands in defense. "All I know is that she's the reason behind the depressing look on your face right now. You're my best friend and it's my duty to protect you from getting hurt." She paused and then added. "Do you want me to kick her ass?"

Santana rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I can take care of myself just fine, thank you."

"Alright then." Quinn muttered. She rubbed her hands together and tilted her head in thought, taking in Santana's rough appearance. "You need to talk to her." Santana shot her another glare so she quickly continued. "Have you tried stopping by at Joey's?"

"Of course I have." Santana told her in an annoyed voice. "I know that she always goes to hide in the back when I walk in. I'm not an idiot." She huffed loudly, pouting as she pointedly stared at her feet. "It's painfully obvious that she's avoiding me."

Quinn sighed and moved to sit next to her. "Since when do you give up this easily?" She asked as she placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "There's got to be another way."

"I miss her." Santana whined pathetically. "I don't know what to do."

Quinn smiled a little and patted her shoulder. "Sure you do. Have you gone to her apartment yet?"

Santana pursed her lips and slowly shook her head. "I don't think she wants me there."

"You two are unbelievable." Quinn exclaimed. "This is all so dramatic and you're not even officially together yet." She shook her head in disbelief. "Get your ass off this couch right now, Santana Lopez, and go talk to your girl."

"Shut up." Santana mumbled. She knew that Quinn was right though. She didn't want to push Brittany into talking since that was obviously the last thing that the blonde wanted but she couldn't just sit around and do nothing. "You know what?"

"What?"

"You're right." Santana said, suddenly jumping to her feet. "I'm not going to stand by and let her ignore me for a minute longer. I really, really like her but how are things ever going to work between us when we're already having trouble communicating now?"

Quinn nodded her head in approval. "That's the Santana that I know."

Santana quickly slipped on her shoes and gathered her things. She rushed out the door but then realized that Quinn was still there. She poked her head back inside and smiled sheepishly. "You can show yourself out, right?"

"Sure." Quinn chuckled.

Santana who was already halfway out the door barely managed to hear her. She felt more determined than she had in days. It had only been a little over a month since she had first met Brittany but it felt a lot longer than that. There was just something about her that drew Santana in and she could never just give up.

Santana's breathing had sped up considerably by the time she reached Brittany's apartment. She forced herself not to overthink things too much and only hesitated for a second before she knocked on the door. A long time passed and Santana was beginning to think that Brittany wasn't home. She was just about to walk away when she heard some shuffling and the click of the door unlocking.

It cracked open and a tired looking Brittany was revealed. It looked like had just woken up. Santana blamed Quinn for dragging her out of bed this early. Brittany's hair was all tousled up, there were dark circles under her eyes and she was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants.

She sleepily rubbed her eyes. "Santana?"

Santana smiled at how cute she looked but her smile disappeared when she remembered why she was there. "Hi, Britt." She said in a calm voice. "Can I come in?"

Brittany instantly looked more alert. She nervously began to chew on her bottom lip as her eyes darted around Santana's face. Finally, she tried to stutter out a reply. "I-I'm not…"

"Please?" Santana added with pleading eyes.

Brittany looked hesitant. She glanced over her shoulder into her apartment and then back at Santana. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she nodded. "Okay."

"Thanks." Santana said as she stepped inside. Brittany closed the door and turned to look at Santana with uncertain eyes, waiting for her to say something. Santana offered her a small smile. "I was wondering if we could talk."

Brittany worried her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down at her hands as they nervously twisted together. "Okay. Do you want to sit down?"

Santana nodded and followed Brittany into the living room. She sat down on the couch and watched as Brittany took a seat on the opposite end, looking awkward and uncomfortable in her own home. Santana took a deep breath in preparation and finally broke the silence. "How have you been?"

"Fine." Brittany answered softly, her eyes flickering up to meet Santana's warm brown ones. "You?"

"Me too." Santana said in an equally soft tone. Silence fell over the room once more and Santana couldn't stand it. It became clear that Brittany wasn't going to say anything so she decided to just ask what had been on her mind for days. "What happened a few nights ago, Britt?"

An almost scared look crossed Brittany's features and she turned her face away, staring down at her hands. Her shoulders slumped forward and it was then that Santana noticed how truly exhausted she really looked. The brunette moved closer to her and carefully reached out to place a hand on her arm. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge you."

Brittany shifted away from her and sucked in a shaky breath, her hands starting to tremble slightly where they were still placed in her lap. "I can't tell you, Santana. I'm sorry." She whispered.

Silently, Santana brushed the hair out of Brittany's face, stroking her cheek with the back of her hand in one fluid movement. "Why not?" She asked gently, dipping her head down to meet Brittany's gaze. "You can trust me."

Brittany's eyes shimmered with tears, her bottom lip quivering. Her face was clouded with pain and sadness and it nearly shattered Santana's heart. Drawing in another shaky breath, Brittany spoke, her voice trembling. "I just can't. Not yet."

Santana stared into Brittany's blue eyes. She didn't think she'd ever seen the other woman look so vulnerable and young, so unlike herself. There were a million questions running through her mind but she pushed them away. She wanted to know the truth but she'd never force Brittany into something she wasn't ready for. Patience seemed like the best option right now.

"It's okay." She said, covering one of Brittany's hands with her own. "You don't have to. It can wait."

Brittany's eyebrows scrunched together, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. "Really?"

Santana nodded, her expression solemn but earnest.

It looked like a huge weight had been lifted off Brittany's shoulders and she breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She whispered, brushing impatiently at the few tears that had escaped her eyes. "I will tell you someday."

Santana nodded again, hearing that was enough for now. She gave Brittany's hand a soft squeeze. "Just promise me that you won't ever ignore me again. Not knowing where you were and if you were alright killed me."

Brittany sniffled and turned around, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry, San."

"It's okay." Santana assured her, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer. She briefly let her eyes flutter shut, soaking up the warmth of Brittany's slender frame. "Can I ask you something?"

Brittany pulled back and nodded. "Sure."

"Are we- are we dating?" She asked, her heart starting to pound a little faster.

Brittany's eyes brightened considerably and a smile started to form on her lips. "Do you want us to be?"

"Yes." Santana said confidently.

"Then I guess we are." Brittany said, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled widely. She opened her mouth to say something else but then changed her mind at the last second. Santana gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and she ducked her head, blushing furiously before quietly asking, "Can I… can I kiss you?"

Santana's lips twitched into a smile and she reached out to cup Brittany's chin, tilting her face back in her direction. Slowly, she leaned in and nudged Brittany's nose with her own before closing the remaining distance between them. The kiss started off slow and hesitant, their lips barely touching, but after a few moments Brittany grew more confident, pressing her lips harder against Santana's as her hands came to rest on the brunette's hips. She felt a shiver run down her spine. This was a feeling of intensity that she had never experienced before and she let it wash over her, reveling in the unfamiliar sensation.

They pulled away and shared a shy smile. Santana stared into Brittany's deep blue eyes and whispered, "Wow."

"My sentiments exactly." Brittany said, smiling at the dazed expression on Santana's face. Silence fell over them as Brittany rubbed her thumbs in slow circles over Santana's hips, distractedly. "Are you busy tonight?"

Santana shook her head. "Not really. Why?"

"Do you maybe want to come over tonight and watch a movie or something? We can order pizza if you want to." Brittany asked shyly. "I wish we could hang out now but I have to be at work in less than an hour."

"I'd love to." Santana smiled.

They sat there for a little while longer, just relishing each other's company, before Brittany walked Santana to the door. The blonde wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad you came here to talk." She said softly.

"Me too." Santana said as they parted. "Have a good day at work."

"Thank you." Brittany replied. "I'll text you later."

Santana flashed her one last smile and began to walk away. Brittany watched until she was out of sight before closing the door. She just stood there for a while with a huge grin on her face, replaying what had happened in her head. When she finally got herself to move again, she took a quick shower and got ready for work, Santana never once leaving her thoughts.

* * *

The rest of the day flew by and Brittany soon found herself waiting for Santana at home. She dropped the warm pizza box on the table in front of the TV and let her eyes scan her apartment. Even now that her and Santana were officially dating, she still wanted things to be perfect.

Satisfied, she quickly made her way into the bedroom to change her clothes.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Brittany wiped her palms on her jeans as she walked across the room to open it. She sent Santana a warm smile and gestured for her to enter. "Hey, San."

"Hi, Britt." Santana returned the smile as she shrugged off her coat. Brittany took it from her and placed it over the back of a chair. "How was your day?"

"It was good." Brittany said, leading her into the living room. "Would you like to have something to drink? Water, wine, coffee, tea, juice, Dr. Pepper; I have everything." She paused for a split second before continuing on. "I stopped by a pizza place on the way home. I wasn't sure what kind of pizza you wanted so I got us cheese and pepperoni. I hope that's alright. If it's not, we can order something else."

"Whoa, slow down." Santana said with a light chuckle. She gently rubbed her hand up and down the blonde's arm, almost feeling the tension radiate off of her body. "Britt, are you nervous?"

Brittany took a calming breath. "I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I've last done this."

"I understand. It's been a while for me too." Santana said sympathetically. She leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Brittany's lips, feeling her heart flutter in her chest at the contact. She didn't think she'd ever grow tired of kissing Brittany. Pulling back, she smiled softly. "Just relax."

Brittany nodded. "Thanks. I needed that."

Santana squeezed her arm one last time before retracting her hand. "Wine sounds great."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Brittany said as she began to walk towards the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder and added, "Make yourself at home."

Santana took this as an opportunity to let her eyes scan the place. This was the third time that she was at Brittany's apartment but she hadn't really had the chance to look around. It was small but in a cozy type of way. Everything was decorated in soft, warm earth tones and all the furniture looked comfortable. Santana picked up a silver picture frame from the dresser and examined the photograph. It was of Brittany and a brunette girl. They looked happy; huge smiles plastered on their faces.

"I hope you like red." Brittany's voice startled her.

She looked up and nodded in confirmation. An unreadable expression flashed across Brittany's face when she noticed what Santana was looking at. She quickly placed the glasses of wine on the table and moved to stand next to her, taking the picture frame from her and brushing her fingers over the photograph before putting it down.

"What movie do you want to watch?"

Santana's brow furrowed slightly. "Is she your friend?"

"Yeah." Brittany said, her voice cracking slightly. She cleared her throat and grabbed some DVD's, holding them up for Santana to see. "You pick."

Santana stared at her for a second and then pointed at a random movie that turned out to be some romantic comedy. She took a seat on the couch as Brittany put the DVD into the player before sitting down next to her. The blonde reached out to open the pizza box and handed Santana a plate with a slice on it. She smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Brittany replied sweetly as she started the movie.

The two managed to finish off the pizza about twenty minutes later and soon found themselves sitting closer together. About halfway into the movie, their positions changed into more comfortable ones with Brittany's arm around Santana's waist as the brunette rested her head on her shoulder. Santana sighed contentedly, relishing in the warmth and safety she felt being in Brittany's arms.

"That was pretty good." Brittany commented after the movie had ended.

When she didn't receive a response, she looked down and saw that Santana had fallen asleep. She smiled a little and brushed some rebellious strands of hair from Santana's face. Santana's eyes squeezed tighter at the touch before they slowly fluttered open. She looked confused for a second as she scanned her surroundings.

"Oh, did I fall asleep?" She asked groggily as she slowly pulled herself upright, stretching her arms over her head. Brittany nodded and she smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Brittany assured her.

"I should probably get going." Santana said somewhat reluctantly. "It's starting to get pretty late."

Brittany felt a wave of disappointment course through her body. Without thinking about it, she blurted out, "You can stay here." Her cheeks flushed red once she realized what she had said and she nervously began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. "If you want to, of course."

"Okay." Santana agreed, smiling adoringly.

Brittany turned off the TV and they both stood up. They brought the dirty plates and glasses to the kitchen before heading into the bedroom. Brittany rummaged through her closet and grabbed some comfortable clothes for Santana to change into. Santana thanked her quietly and took them from her.

Brittany felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. She obviously hadn't thought this through very well. She couldn't change in front of Santana but Santana didn't seem to share that thought since she had already started to unbutton her jeans. Brittany rubbed her arm nervously as she tried to think of what to do.

"I-I'll just go change…" She trailed off and gestured over her shoulder. Santana nodded and Brittany awkwardly cleared her throat before heading into the bathroom.

Santana followed her with her eyes, wondering if she had done something to make her uncomfortable. She sighed and quickly continued to change. Brittany returned a few minutes later and Santana sent her a smile. "You sleep in sweatpants?"

"I get cold." Brittany mumbled, looking a little self-conscious. "There's a spare toothbrush laid out for you by the sink if you want to use it."

"Thanks." Santana replied.

Five minutes later they had both crawled into bed. Brittany was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling as she tried to keep herself from panicking. As much as she liked having Santana in her home, there was something important that she had forgotten to take into consideration: her nightmares. She had them quite frequently and really didn't want to have one with Santana sleeping next to her. She tried to take deep, calming breaths but her racing thoughts were making it difficult. Her stomach began to churn uncomfortably.

Brittany heard Santana move closer to her and a second later she felt an arm being draped around her waist. A soft kiss was pressed to her cheek and a question was whispered. "Is this okay?"

Brittany swallowed thickly and nodded, unable to find her voice.

Santana laid her head on Brittany's chest, her hand coming to rest on the blonde's clad stomach. Brittany exhaled slowly through her nose and began to comb her fingers through Santana's hair, trying to calm herself down. She was afraid that Santana was able to hear the racing of her heart but Santana didn't say anything.

Thirty minutes passed and Brittany was still staring at the ceiling, trying to fight off sleep. It became more and more difficult to keep her eyes open and she was starting to become really tired. She yawned and finally closed her eyes, listening to Santana's rhythmic breathing before slowly drifting off to sleep as well.

* * *

Brittany groaned as she slowly woke up. She forced her eyelids open and was instantly greeted by warm, brown eyes. She blinked a few times and glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table, sighing in relief when she realized that she had slept through the night. Meeting Santana's gaze again, she smiled softly. "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed, tucking a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. "I like waking up next to you."

"Me too." Brittany said, gazing deeply into Santana's eyes, almost getting lost in the depths of them. She slid her hand behind the brunette's neck and pulled her down, their lips meeting in a slow kiss. Brittany pulled away, resting her forehead against Santana's, their noses brushing together slightly. "I like waking up next to you _a lot_."

Santana smiled widely and leaned in to capture her lips in another kiss. She trailed her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip and Brittany shuddered from the feeling. The blonde angled her head to the side and deepened the kiss even more, slowly running her hands up and down Santana's back. Words couldn't describe how good it felt to be this close to Santana but there were still so many things holding her back. Santana must've sensed her reluctance because she broke the kiss.

"Is everything okay?"

Brittany smiled and stroked Santana's slightly flushed cheek with her knuckles. "We should probably slow down."

Santana nodded in agreement and pecked her lips one more time before rolling off her.

"Brittany?" Noah's voice suddenly sounded. The bedroom door swung open and his eyes widened in shock and surprise. "Oh shit! I'm sorry."

"Puckerman!" Brittany whined, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I called you a few times but you didn't pick up so I came over to see if you were alright." Noah said sheepishly. He awkwardly looked around the room and then cocked his head to the side. "I'll, uh, wait outside."

He closed the door and Brittany let her head fall back onto the pillow with a sigh, her bottom lip jutting out into a frustrated pout. "I'm sorry, Santana."

"It's not a big deal, Britt." Santana chuckled softly. "I should probably head out anyway."

"Don't you want any breakfast?' Brittany asked shyly.

"No, thank you." Santana said as she climbed out of bed. "I have to be at the office today so I'll grab something on my way over there."

Ten minutes later, they had both finished getting ready and exited the bedroom. Noah was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter, eating from a bowl of cereal he had helped himself to. He looked up and nodded a hello at Santana. Santana gave him a small smile and returned the nod. She followed Brittany to the door and they stepped outside.

Brittany leaned against the wall, looking at Santana who was standing in front of her. "I'm sorry about Noah just showing up out of nowhere. He does that sometimes." She said.

"I told you it's fine." Santana assured her again. "Luckily we weren't doing anything."

Brittany blushed and averted her gaze away from Santana's face. "Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No, that's alright." Santana smiled, zipping up her hoodie. Rising slightly on her toes, she pressed her lips softly against Brittany's. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Sounds good." Brittany said with a goofy grin. She watched as Santana began to walk away, giving her a small wave before she disappeared out of sight. Brittany stood there for a few moments longer, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Noah asked when she walked back inside.

"Not really." Brittany said as she started to prepare herself a cup of coffee. Noah shot her a look so she rolled her eyes, barely able to suppress the wide grin that threatened to break out onto her face. "Fine, Santana and I are officially dating."

"That's awesome, Britt." Noah cheered, looking genuinely happy. "See, I told you that she wouldn't react badly."

Brittany's face fell and she bit her lip, keeping her eyes glued to her hands. "Yeah..."

"You haven't told her yet, have you?" Noah guessed, putting his spoon down. He sighed when Brittany didn't reply. "You're going to have to tell her at some point. You can't keep running away from this forever."

"I know." Brittany mumbled.

Noah was silent for a moment and folded his hands under his chin, looking at Brittany intently. "What are you so afraid of?"

Brittany took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face him. Meeting his sad eyes, she spoke in a soft voice. "That I'll lose her because of the way I look."

"You're a beautiful person, Brittany. Inside and out. If Santana can't see that, she doesn't deserve you." Noah insisted, his eyes boring into Brittany's blue ones. "We don't know for certain what's going to happen but you're starting to grow attached and the longer you wait, the more it'll hurt if she _does_ react badly. Although I highly doubt that she will."

Brittany sighed and ran her hand through her long, blonde locks. "How do you know?"

"Just a feeling." Noah replied with a shrug. He stood up and walked around the counter, placing his bowl in the sink and coming to a stop directly in front of Brittany. "I know it's hard but you're not alone. I'm always here for you."

"Yeah, that's why you've been having contact with my mom behind my back." Brittany said in a low voice, her natural defensive mechanism activating.

Noah shook his head while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I've spoken with your mom a couple of times but only because I'm worried about you. I love you like a sister and seeing you so unhappy is torture. What did you expect me to do?"

Brittany narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Who says that I'm not happy?"

"You don't have to pretend with me, Brittany!" Noah told her in a harsh voice, causing her to flinch a little. "You're _not_ okay. Stop saying that you are because you're not. You don't sleep, you hardly eat, all you do is work, work, work. I know that you're trying to keep yourself busy because it keeps your mind off things and that's why you refuse to take time off work but it's not healthy. Sometimes you get this distant look in your eyes and you don't respond to anything anymore and it's like you're reliving everything again. Your panic attacks might not be as bad as they used to be but you're still anxious all the time. You're _not_ okay, Brittany, and it's breaking my heart. You're here, but you're not really here and I- I miss you. So I'm sorry that you're upset with me for caring but that's never going to change."

His words hit Brittany like a blow to the stomach. Her vision blurred as tears unwillingly sprang to her eyes. She sucked in a trembling breath, blinking hard. "You don't-…" She couldn't get the rest of her words out. There was a lump in her throat. She swallowed and took a step backwards, shaking her head. "I'll tell her, okay? Eventually."

"Britt-…" Noah tried but Brittany cut him off.

"I'm going to take a shower." She mumbled, turning on her heels.

"Don't walk away from me." Noah tried again but it was already too late; Brittany had already left the room. He let out a heavy sigh and slumped against the counter, a look of defeat crossing his face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6.**

"Rachel is throwing a small party at her place tomorrow." Quinn announced as she wiped her hands on a napkin. Santana and her had just finished eating lunch at a small restaurant and had a meeting to attend later. The brunette leaned back in her chair with a bored expression on her face, quietly sipping her drink and waiting for her to continue. "She asked me to tell you that you're invited."

"A _small_ party at Berry's place." Santana repeated slowly. "What's the occasion?"

"I don't know." Quinn told her with a shrug. "Does it matter?"

Santana went to take another sip from her drink but realized that her glass was empty. She pouted a little and looked at Quinn again. "Are you going?" She asked. "It sounds boring."

"I think it could be fun." Quinn shrugged again, her eyes flickering down to the table. She was silent for a moment as a thoughtful expression spread across her features. "Maybe you can invite Brittany. It seems like she could use some fun."

Santana gave her a small nod in reply, it sounded like a pretty good idea. "Maybe. I'll ask Smurfette about it later."

"Well, I'm sure that _Rachel_ will be fine with it." Quinn said, a satisfied smile forming on her lips. She tilted her head and looked at Santana curiously. "Speaking of Brittany, how is she doing?"

"She's good." Santana replied, barely able to suppress a grin at the mention of her almost-girlfriend's name. She inwardly rolled her eyes at herself. "We're actually hanging out tonight. She invited me over and offered to cook dinner."

"That's sweet." Quinn commented with an approving nod of the head. "It sounds like you really like her."

"I do." Santana admitted shyly, her fingers playing with the straw in her glass. "It's kind of scary how much. There's just something about her that's so unique, so unforgettable. That's why I can't fuck this up." She paused and shook her head. "Why am I telling you this?"

"Because I'm your best friend." Quinn answered the question. "I'm happy that you're happy, San. Did she ever end up telling you about what happened that night of the thunderstorm?"

"No, she'll tell me when she's ready." Santana said, a sad sigh escaping her lips. "I promised that I wouldn't push her and I won't but she's so closed off sometimes, like she doesn't want to be reached and prefers to be alone instead. I wish she'd trust me a little more."

Quinn nodded sympathetically. "Just be patient with her. Let her work things out at her own pace. It'll be fine." She assured her friend. "I'm sure of it."

Santana shot her a small, appreciative smile. "You're right. Thanks, Q."

"Of course." Quinn said, returning the smile. She hesitated for a moment before carefully asking, "Have you heard from your parents lately?"

Santana's face darkened. "No, I don't want to speak with them." She said bitterly, wringing her hands together in her lap. "They can send me an email or leave me a voicemail if they want to tell me how much of a disappointment I am and how I'm wasting my life. I've heard it all by now."

"I'm sorry, S." Quinn said softly, unsure of what else to say. "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better but I honestly have no idea what you're going through. It saddens me that they can't see what an amazing person you are."

"Whatever." Santana mumbled. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Quinn's eyes searched hers for a moment before she sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I said I was fine." Santana snapped, pushing her chair away from the table. "Can we go now? The meeting starts in an hour and I'd like to get there early."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Quinn said in a low voice, already looking around for a waiter. After years of friendship she knew that this was a sensitive subject to Santana and pushing her would just have the opposite effect. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's fine." Santana sighed, sending her friend a tight lipped smile to let her know that it was okay. Her demeanor had softened considerably but her body language was still tense. She dropped some money on the table and slowly stood up. "I'll wait for you outside, okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Sure."

Santana quickly put on her jacket and made her way outside. Leaning against the wall, she dug into her pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. She took one out and stuck it into her mouth, lighting the end. She drew in a deep breath before letting out a puff of grey smoke. It was a bad habit, Santana had to admit that, but she didn't do it constantly. Only when she was stressed or agitated.

She didn't like to think about her parents. Knowing that they would never accept her for who she was brought her a pain that she'd rather avoid. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, willing herself not to cry. They weren't worth her tears.

When she opened her eyes again, they locked onto Quinn's who was looking at her with a curious expression on her face. The blonde gave a hateful stare at the cigarette between Santana's lips but didn't comment on it.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked instead.

"Uh-huh." Santana mumbled, tossing her unfinished cigarette on the ground and stepping on it with her foot. She pushed herself off the wall and followed Quinn towards her car. She wished that she could go over to Brittany's apartment already. Being around Brittany always seemed to make everything better.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

A few agonizingly long hours later, Santana was standing outside of Brittany's apartment. She quickly fixed her hair and knocked on the door, holding the rose that she had bought earlier tightly in her hand. Santana had never been one for romantic gestures but somehow things were different with Brittany.

The door opened and Santana felt her heart flutter in her chest when her eyes met piercing blue ones. Brittany was wearing a similar outfit to hers; dark skinny jeans and a simple t-shirt but unlike Santana, her hair was tied back into a ponytail instead of spread out across the shoulders.

Santana smiled. "Hi, Britt."

"Hi, San." Brittany said in her usual soft tone. She held the door open and Santana stepped inside. "Dinner is almost ready. I'm not a great cook but I'm not terrible either. I followed the recipe exactly so hopefully it'll be alright."

"I'm sure it'll be great." Santana assured her. The smell that invaded her nostrils was mouth-watering and it made her stomach grumble in anticipation. She held up the red flower that was still in her hand and smiled weakly. "I got you a rose."

Brittany's eyes lit up and she leaned in to give Santana a chaste kiss on the lips. "Thank you, Santana. That's really sweet." She said, taking the rose from her. "Have a seat and I'll get the food. Do you want some wine?"

"Sure. Do you need any help?"

"No, thanks. I got it." Brittany said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

Santana walked towards the table that was neatly decorated with a light blue table cloth and took a seat. Brittany returned a few minutes later, carrying in the plates of food and setting them down. She sat down across from Santana and the brunette shot her a warm smile. "It looks delicious."

"Hopefully it'll taste that way too." Brittany said, blushing lightly.

Santana gathered some food onto her fork and brought it up to her mouth, breathing in the scent of the dish before taking a small bite. She hummed in delight. "It does."

Brittany sighed in relief.

A few hours later, they had moved into the living room and were sitting on the couch. Dinner had been amazing. Santana thought that Brittany was way too modest when it came to her cooking skills. The evening had flown by. Brittany always seemed to know what to say and do to make Santana feel relaxed. Any tension from earlier that day had left her body. The blonde seemed genuinely interested as she asked questions about Santana's work and the articles she was working on.

"What do you like to do for fun, Britt?" Santana asked after a while.

Brittany wasn't sure how to answer that question. She had never really had a special hobby that interested her and besides, most things cost money and there wasn't any extra money for her to throw around. With her work hours she hardly had time to relax anyway.

When Brittany didn't respond, Santana continued. "A colleague of mine is throwing a party tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know that you're busy with work but you deserve some time to enjoy yourself."

Brittany fiddled with the hem of her shirt and gave Santana a half smile. "A party?"

"It's not really a party, more like a get-together." Santana said, searching Brittany's eyes to try to find out what she was thinking. "We can always leave and do something else if it turns out to be as boring as I'm expecting it to. I would really like you to come but no pressure."

She watched Brittany's face intently, waiting for a reaction. Finally, Brittany exhaled and relaxed her tense shoulders. "Okay, I'll go. What time?"

"Around eight." Santana replied. "I'll pick you up."

They continued to chat for another hour until Santana realized that she had to go soon. She still had lot of work to do but she didn't really want the night to be over yet. As if Brittany could sense her thoughts, she spoke up. "You have to leave soon, don't you?"

"Unfortunately." Santana sighed, leaning over and placing her empty coffee mug on the table. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

Brittany reached out and took Santana's hand in her own as they walked to the door, earning an adoring smile. Santana turned to face the blonde and gently tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear. "Thanks for dinner."

Brittany squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, cupping a tan cheek with her free hand and leaning in to press a soft kiss to full lips. "You're welcome." She said softly after pulling away. She opened the door and bit her lip in thought before asking, "Do you maybe want to borrow a sweater or something? It's cold outside and your jacket looks thin."

"That would be great." Santana said appreciatively.

Brittany disappeared into her bedroom and returned with a dark purple sweater less than half a minute later. She handed it to Santana who quickly pulled it over her head before putting her jacket over it. The sweater was a little too big on her but Brittany thought that it just made her look even cuter than usual. She couldn't help but stare.

"Thank you." Santana said softly before pulling her closer and giving her another kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Brittany nodded, a familiar goofy smile in place. "Good night, Santana."

"Good night, Brittany."

Once Santana had left the apartment, Brittany closed the door and leaned against it. Noah's words echoed in her mind but she ignored them completely. She knew that she was going to have to tell Santana at some point but just the thought itself made her temples throb with the promise of an upcoming headache. Santana had become so important to her and she didn't think she'd survive if she lost her.

* * *

"Can I get you more coffee, sir?"

The old man shook his head and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter. "No, thank you. I should head home. Keep the change."

"Thank you." Brittany said, smiling politely. She watched as he left the diner and glanced at her watch, sighing in relief when she saw that her shift was almost over. Today had been an exceptionally slow day and she was eager to leave. The place was nearly empty so she grabbed a rag and began to clean the counter.

The diner's bell chimed as someone walked inside and Brittany looked up, meeting Noah's eyes. He gave her a hesitant smile and silently found a stool at the end of the counter. He cleared his throat and mumbled a, "Hi."

"Hi." Brittany echoed. They hadn't spoken since their conversation days before and Brittany had never felt so awkward around her best friend. All the words he had said to her were so truthful, like he had momentarily accessed her mind, and it scared her a little. Sighing, she grabbed the coffee pot and a mug before making her way over to him. "Do you want some coffee?"

Noah nodded and looked at her as she poured him a cup. "How have you been?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany suddenly blurted out, ignoring his question.

Noah was silent for a few seconds, his eyebrows pinching together in confusion. "You don't have to apologize, Brittany." He finally said in a soft voice.

"Yes, I do." Brittany insisted. "I know that you were just trying to help and I'm sorry for acting so distant towards you. I realize how lucky I am to have such an amazing friend as you in my life and I appreciate everything you've done for me. Please just try to understand and give me my space when I say that I don't want to talk."

Noah nodded. "I'm sorry for pushing you."

"Want to hug it out?" Brittany asked with a smile. She walked around the counter and waited until Noah was on his feet before enveloping him in a tight hug. They embraced for several moments before pulling away. Brittany looked up at her friend. "Thanks for everything, Noah. I mean it."

"Aw, Britty, don't go all sentimental on me." Noah teased, playfully poking Brittany in the stomach. Brittany rolled her eyes and returned to her previous spot behind the counter as Noah sat down again. "So, do you maybe want to hang out tonight or something?"

"I can't. I have plans." Brittany told him, shooting him an apologetic smile. "Santana invited me to a party."

Noah raised his eyebrows, feeling a little surprised that Santana had convinced Brittany to go out while the blonde always refused whenever he asked. He wasn't jealous but definitely surprised. He took a sip from his coffee before speaking up. "I like her. She's good for you."

"Yeah, she is." Brittany agreed. She glanced at her watch and then back at Noah. "I'm going to head out if you don't mind. I want to have enough time to change for the party."

"I can give you a ride home." Noah suggested.

"Great!" Brittany cheered as she took off her apron. She walked into the backroom to say goodbye to Joey and quickly gathered her things. Once she had everything, she joined Noah who was already waiting by the door. Noah smiled as he held the door open for her.

* * *

Brittany had just finished getting changed when there was a knock on the door. After going through each of her casual outfits, she had finally settled on a pair of tight jeans, black heels and a black shirt with a white blazer over it. Her blonde hair was loose and slightly curled at the tips.

Her hands were shaking slightly when she reached out for the doorknob. She had to admit that she was a little nervous. She didn't know anyone at the party expect for Santana and Quinn. Hopefully, Santana wouldn't leave her alone for long periods of time because meeting strangers wasn't exactly her favorite thing to do in the world.

"Wow." She breathed out, her eyes traveling slowly from Santana's legs up to her gorgeous face. "You look beautiful, Santana."

"Thanks, so do you." Santana said, smiling brightly. "Are you ready to go?"

Brittany nodded, pulled her coat off the coat rack and slipped it on. She closed the door behind her, locked it and followed Santana outside. "Is your friend really okay with a stranger coming to her party?"

"I'm sure that Berry is happy that there are even people coming in the first place." Santana said with a roll of her eyes.

They made small talk during the short drive to Rachel's apartment. When they arrived, they were greeted enthusiastically by the small diva who was standing in the doorway.

"Hello and welcome, Santana! I'm glad you could make it to my little gathering." She turned to Brittany and smiled widely. "You must be Brittany. My name is Rachel, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too." Brittany said, taking her outstretched hand and shaking it.

"Come on in, there are drinks in the kitchen and snacks too." Rachel gestured for them to come inside before she moved on to greet other people.

They went straight to the kitchen for drinks. They poured themselves a glass of wine and walked into the living room where others were mingling as well. Santana was surprised by how many people there were. There were some of her other co-workers as well. A few people came up to talk to them and everyone seemed to like Brittany. This was the most social interaction Santana had had with her co-workers in a long time. She hardly ever attended staff parties because she thought they were boring.

Once Quinn joined them, Brittany mostly stayed quiet and just listened to their conversation, smiling at the interaction between the two friends. It reminded her of her close friendship with Noah.

"I'm going to get another drink." Brittany said after she had finished the last of her wine. "Can I get you guys a refill?"

Santana shook her head. "No, thanks. I'm driving us home so I'm good."

After Quinn told her that she didn't want anything either, Brittany made her way into the kitchen to get herself another drink. It surprised her how at ease she felt around the group of new people. Maybe it had something to do with Santana who always seemed to have a calming effect on her. She sighed happily and returned to the other two women.

Brittany talked and laughed and before she knew it, it was midnight and the party was still going strong. The amount of people that had gathered in the house was starting to make her feel a little uneasy though. She was also already starting to feel the effect of the alcohol so she decided to go out on the balcony. She closed the door behind her and moved to lean over the railing, the cool air feeling nice as it blew on her warm face.

The door opened behind her and seconds later she felt a presence next to her. Brittany knew that is was Santana without having to look. Her assumption was confirmed when the familiar voice of the brunette sounded. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"Just getting some air." Brittany replied, momentarily turning her head to meet brown eyes before looking ahead again.

Santana nodded in understanding. "It's pretty out here, isn't it?"

"Not as pretty as you." Brittany countered.

Santana rolled her eyes at the cheesy comment, a light blush tinting her cheeks. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the view and each other's company. Brittany went to move closer to Santana but accidently stumbled over her own feet, tipping her glass back in the process and spilling her drink all over herself.

"Shit." She mumbled, trying to pat her shirt dry with her free hand. "I'm so clumsy sometimes."

"I don't think that's going to work, Britt." Santana said, watching in amusement as Brittany bent her head down and tried to blow on her shirt. "Let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

"Okay." Brittany agreed without really thinking.

Santana smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her back inside and towards the bathroom down the hall. She sighed when it was occupied and knocked impatiently on the door. "Hey, are you deaf? The fire alarm just went off, hurry!"

The door flew open and a wide-eyed woman ran past them. Santana smirked in victory and tugged on Brittany's hand, causing her to stumble slightly. "How much did you have to drink, Britt?" Santana asked, closing the door behind them.

"Not that much." Brittany gave a small hiccup. "Maybe a few more than I should have."

Santana just smiled as she looked into slightly dazed blue eyes. She grabbed a towel and placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder. "Sit." She instructed, guiding the blonde down onto the lidded toilet seat. "And tilt your head back."

Brittany complied and Santana stood over her, gently running the towel over her neck and drying off the tips of her hair. Brittany let her eyes fall closed, focusing on the smoothness of Santana's hands as they met her skin. She suddenly felt incredibly sleepy.

"We need to do something about your shirt." Santana said softly, looking at Brittany's black shirt that was pretty much soaked. It didn't seem like Brittany had heard her though, as she still had her eyes closed and showed no signs of acknowledgment. "I guess I could give you my shirt. I'm wearing a tank top underneath it anyway." When Brittany again didn't respond, Santana reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Britt?"

Nothing.

Santana sighed and bit her lip in thought. Brittany was shivering slightly and she didn't want her to be cold. She hesitated for a second and then carefully reached out for the hem of Brittany's shirt. Before she had the chance to tug it up, Brittany's eyes flew open, suddenly looking wide and alarmed, as she moved away from Santana's hands.

"What- what are you doing?" She stammered, panic audible in her voice.

Santana's brow furrowed in confusion at the strange reaction. "I was just trying to help. Your shirt is wet and you looked cold so I offered to give you mine but…" She trailed off, her eyes searching guarded blue ones. "What's wrong?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and breathed sharply through her nose. "You- you can't do that, Santana." She said in a low, unsteady voice.

Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear it in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut and unconsciously started to rub her hands over her thighs where her scars were hidden underneath her clothing. It felt like all the air was slowly being sucked out of her lungs. She needed to get out of here. Now.

"Brittany?" Santana tried again.

"I-I need to go."

Brittany opened her eyes, avoiding Santana's concerned gaze as she slowly pulled herself into a standing position, trying not to wobble as she did so. She pushed past Santana and quickly left the bathroom. Ignoring everything around her, she walked through the living room and darted outside. She slumped against the nearest wall and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the cold wind. She couldn't believe that she had let Santana come so close to discovering her scars. The mere thought made her heart clench and her stomach twist painfully. She kept telling herself that she would tell Santana eventually but she was starting to doubt that she'd ever be ready.

Someone suddenly stepped in front of her and she startled. Santana's eyes darted around, studying Brittany's face, looking for something. She draped the blazer that Brittany had left inside over the blonde's shoulders and spoke in a quiet voice, as if not to disturb the silence around them. "You forgot this."

Brittany wanted to thank her but she couldn't get any words out. She didn't know what to think.

"Do you…" Santana started to speak but her voice cracked. She took a deep breath and tried again. "Do you trust me, Brittany?" Her deep brown eyes bore into Brittany's blue ones as she waited for an answer. Brittany swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably as she gave a small, barely visible nod in reply. Santana took another step forwards, her gaze never leaving Brittany's as she did so. "Then stop pushing me away. I know that I told you that it could wait but you need to give me _something_ , Brittany, because I'm really confused here."

Brittany exhaled shakily and bowed her head, curling her clammy hands into tight fists to try to keep them from shaking, her short nails digging into her palms painfully. She swallowed the lump in her throat before she spoke softly. "I just- I don't want to lose you before we even had a chance."

"You won't." Santana said without any hesitation. She gently cupped Brittany's cheeks and let her lips brush against Brittany's quivering ones as she whispered, "Please stop running from me."

Brittany shivered and avoided Santana's eyes, unable to take the intensity she saw in them.

"Look at me." Santana whispered but Brittany refused; too nervous, too embarrassed, too overwhelmed. "Brittany, please." The brunette pleaded, the soft pads of her thumbs stroking Brittany's cheeks, frowning at the girl's distressed expression. "Let me in."

Brittany's skin tingled at her touch. Everything in her head was spinning so fast that she couldn't get a grip on her thoughts. She could hear the pain in Santana's voice and knew that she couldn't deny her an explanation any longer. Maybe it was best to get it over with. Her eyes nervously flickered up.

"Okay." She whispered, knowing that it was now or never. "I'll tell you."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7.**

Brittany's heart was racing so fast that she had to focus on her breathing. She was beyond nervous and it felt she was going to pass out. Her hands were shaking and she dropped her keys a few times before she finally managed to open the door to her apartment. Santana had agreed to go back there so they could speak quietly.

They wordlessly made their way inside and Brittany awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot as they stood in the living room. She didn't know what to do next.

"Do you want something to drink?" She finally broke the silence, trying to buy herself some time. Santana shook her head and Brittany bit her lip, contemplating her next action. "Where do you want to talk?"

"Wherever you feel most comfortable." Santana replied, shooting her a small smile, trying to calm her down a little.

"Oh, okay." Brittany mumbled, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. "The bedroom?"

The brunette nodded and followed Brittany as she led the way. Santana took a seat on the edge of the bed and looked at Brittany as she began to pace in front of her. She sighed and reached out, taking Brittany's hand and giving it a small tug, indicating for her to sit down next to her. Brittany reluctantly did so.

"You don't have to be nervous, Britt." Santana said soothingly, placing her hand on the small of Brittany's back, frowning when she felt the blonde jump slightly at the touch. "It's just me."

"That's why I'm nervous." Brittany admitted, clearing her throat as she fiddled with her sweaty hands. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Don't worry." Santana told her patiently. "Just take your time and start wherever you feel you should."

Brittany was silent for a long time. She appeared to be lost in her thoughts, searching for the right words. Finally, she took a deep breath and began to speak in a soft voice.

"After high school, my best friend and I decided to move to the city." She paused and looked at Santana, searching for a sign of encouragement. Santana nodded, wondering if she was talking about Noah or someone else. Brittany answered the question for her when she continued. "Jess got into college and I was going to try to pursue a dancing career. Noah got held back a year but he joined us after he graduated. He was always supportive of me when it came to dancing but Jess was my number one fan. She was the one who made me feel confident enough to follow my dreams."

She smiled a little at the memory but her face soon became serious again.

"One day, I had an audition in LA that was really important and Jess came with me despite her busy schedule because she knew that I'd be nervous. It was so sweet of her but then again, that is the kind of friend she was."

She let out a shuddering breath and looked down at her lap, trying to collect her thoughts. A long time passed and Santana grew worrisome. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Brittany mumbled, taking a deep breath as she prepared to continue. "The first half of the flight went fine but then the plane suddenly started shaking."

Santana felt her stomach drop. She had an idea of where this was going but she hoped that she was wrong.

"They said that it was just a little turbulence." Brittany continued, lifting her head and making eye-contact for the first time in what felt like hours. "Only it wasn't."

" _What the hell is happening?" Jess asked as people started panicking when the seatbelt sign came on. There was a storm raging outside, lighting illuminating the sky as the thunder roared._

" _Ladies and gentleman." One of the flight attendants called out as the shaking of the airplane increased even more. "Please remain seated and fasten your seatbelt. We seem to be experiencing some turbulence."_

 _Brittany gulped and turned her head, looking at Jess with panic-stricken eyes. "Jess…"_

" _It's okay, Britt, stay calm." The brunette told her, not sounding very convincing as her voice wavered. "It's just a little turbulence."_

 _Suddenly the plane shook violently. There was a loud thunder clap and people screamed, lighting struck one of the wings and the plane spiraled out of control. Luggage started falling from the overhead cabinets and Brittany gasped, fear taking over her entire body. Children started crying as the plane continued to spin. They were falling. They were falling fast._

" _Brittany." Jess's voice caught her attention. "Close your eyes, Brittany."_

 _Brittany did as she was told, squeezing her eyes shut, causing tears to spill over. She clutched the armrests tightly, painfully as the sound of screaming filled her ears. A little boy behind them was calling out for his mother. A woman in front of them was calling out for her husband. Her heart, heavy with dread and fear, pounded furiously in her chest. Seconds later, she heard a deafening crash and then everything became black around her._

"Brittany, you're shaking." Santana commented softly. She reached out for Brittany's hand but the blonde flinched, a startled expression twisting her features. Recognition flickered in her eyes and she shot Santana an apologetic look, accepting her hand. Santana gave her hand a soft squeeze. "Do you want to stop?"

Brittany shook her head. "No, I can do this." She said, determined to get it all out.

Santana nodded and waited patiently for her to start speaking again.

 _Brittany opened her eyes and blinked heavily to clear the blurriness from her vision. With a lot of effort, she managed to turn her face and saw the head of a man with his body nowhere to be found. Her eyes widened in horror and her stomach twisted and churned, bile rising in the back of her throat._

 _Her eyes landed on what was left of the plane. It was split in half and there were flames everywhere. People were screaming and writhing in agony. Some were running, some were calling out the names of their loved ones, some were trapped and some were on fire. The smell of burning flesh invaded her nostrils and a second wave of nausea crashed over her._

 _As the feeling of disorientation wore off, an immense pain suddenly tore through her entire body, taking her by surprise. She let out a scream, one of piercing agony. Tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she begged no one in particular to make the pain stop. Her lungs burned and the air tasted like smoke and dust._

 _She felt light-headed as her body continued to quiver in pain. A wave of dizziness washed over her and darkness began to creep at the edges of her vision. The image of the lifeless bodies around her was the last thing she saw before she slipped into unconsciousness once more._

"I can't remember what happened next but I woke up in the hospital." Brittany explained, her eyes were empty and focused on anywhere but Santana's face. "My parents were there. They told me that I had been in a coma for over a week." She paused. She didn't want to lose control and start crying, knowing that she might never stop if she did. Sucking in a trembling breath, she added, "Jess didn't make it."

"Brittany," Santana's voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."

Brittany continued to stare ahead and spoke in a monotone voice. "It turned out that I was hurt pretty badly. It was critical at first." She shook her head and furiously wiped at her eyes as tears threatened to escape them. "They should've just let me die."

"What?" Santana gasped, horrified. "Don't say that! Don't _ever_ say that."

"You don't get it." Brittany whispered, frustrated by how hard this was. "I'm disgusting."

"Hey, no." Santana said in a hushed voice, placing her hands on Brittany's cheeks and tilting her face up, forcing eye-contact. "What are you talking about? You are beautiful, Brittany, so very beautiful."

"No, you don't get it." Brittany repeated, her eyes darting from object to object in the room, missing Santana's eyes completely. "I'm far from beautiful." She sighed and curled her fingers around Santana's wrists, pulling her hands off her face. "I-I can show you."

Santana just nodded, confused by what was happening.

Brittany shuffled away from the brunette, creating more distance between them. This was the moment that she had been dreading for so long. There was no going back now. Her hands trembled as she reached for the hem of her shirt. She avoided Santana's gaze as she slowly tugged the still damp material upwards, pulling it over her head and dropping it on the bed beside her.

Santana's breath hitched in her throat and she instantly covered her mouth with her hand. Brittany's skin was heavily scarred. The marks covered most of her torso and ran down past her belly button, all the way around to the middle of her back. The flames somehow hadn't reached her face, and Santana didn't know if she should feel guilty for being so relieved by that. The scars were puckered and colored an odd shade of pink and white, and they seemed to get darker further down so Santana figured the flames must have affected the lower part of her body the most. By what Santana could tell, there were definitely more hidden underneath her clothing. They looked incredibly painful and Santana grimaced, thinking of the kind of pain Brittany must have gone through.

Brittany slowly lifted her head and her heart plummeted at the expression on Santana's face. The tears that she had been holding back began to fall when she realized that her worst nightmare was actually becoming true. Santana was disgusted with her. Without saying a word, she jumped off the bed and quickly grabbed a clean shirt before hurriedly crossing the room.

"Brittany, what…" Before Santana could finish her sentence, she heard the bathroom door slam shut and the sound of the lock turning. She sat there frozen for a second and then got up to run after the blonde. Reaching the bathroom, she tried opening the door even though she already knew that it was locked. "Brittany, please come out."

"Go away Santana!" Brittany yelled back and Santana could hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm not leaving, Britt. Please open the door." Santana pleaded, her own throat closing up with emotion. She rested her forehead against the door and flattened her hand against it. "I just want to talk to you." Her voice cracked and she struggled to keep herself from crying with Brittany. It stayed silent on the other side of the door so she tried again. "Please Britt, don't shut me out again."

The brunette took a step backwards when she heard some shuffling. A long moment passed before the door slowly creaked open, revealing a sight that broke Santana's heart. Brittany's normally clear blue eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, face blotchy from crying. She walked past Santana and returned to her previous spot on the edge of her bed, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

Santana carefully approached her and took a seat next to her, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. Brittany flinched and moved away from her. "Don't." She mumbled, lowering her head in shame. "Please just leave. You don't have to pretend that you want to be around me."

Santana's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "I want to be here, Brittany. What are you talking about?"

"I'm disgusting." Brittany whispered, squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment and willing her tears to go away. "You think so too, don't you?"

Santana's jaw dropped. The shocked expression on her face remained unseen by Brittany whose eyes were now focused solely on her lap. Santana scooted closer and placed her hand on Brittany's thigh to stop the nervous bouncing of her leg. Brittany tried to move away again but Santana didn't let her.

"I'm not disgusted with you. In fact, I'm the opposite." She stated in a calm voice. Brittany scoffed in disbelief and turned her face away. Santana bit her lip, trying to figure out what to do. "Show me."

"What?" Brittany asked in a small voice.

"Your scars." Santana explained softly. "Show them to me again."

"I can't." Brittany sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "I don't want you to see them. They're gross." She released a shaky breath, more tears welling up in her eyes. "It's okay if you want to end whatever it is that we have. You deserve someone better than me."

"Brittany," Santana sighed, not knowing what to say to convince the girl that she wasn't going anywhere. She took Brittany's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "Show me. Please, I want to see you."

Brittany hesitated for another long moment and then finally nodded. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably by now and she struggled to remove her shirt. Once it was off, she kept her head down and bit her lip to keep it from quivering. She felt Santana's intense gaze on her and she shifted uncomfortably.

Santana slowly stuck out her hand but stopped just before she reached Brittany's skin. "Can I?"

Brittany squeezed her eyes shut and gave her a small, hesitant nod in reply, inhaling sharply when Santana's fingers made contact with her skin. Santana lightly traced the scars that coated Brittany's back, feeling the bumpy texture of the tissue under the soft pads of her fingertips. Her hand moved slowly and she wished that she could somehow absorb Brittany's pain and take it away forever. She gently brushed Brittany's hair away and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, causing Brittany to shudder.

"You're so beautiful, Brittany." She whispered.

Brittany opened her eyes, revealing stormy blue orbs filled with pain and disbelief. "I'm not; I'm ugly. Stop lying to me." She said stubbornly, shrugging Santana's hand off. "I understand if you want to go."

Santana felt frustration build up inside her. "Brittany, listen to me." She demanded, waiting until she was sure that she had the blonde's full attention before continuing. "Don't you dare say those things about yourself. Your scars make you even more beautiful than you already are. They show everyone how strong and brave you are. This doesn't change the way I feel about you so please believe me when I say that I'm not going anywhere. Do you honestly think I'm that shallow?"

Brittany sighed and silently shook her head.

"I want to be with you, Britt." Santana went on, staring into Brittany's eyes and hoping that the blonde could see her sincerity. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

Brittany's tears started flowing again in full force as she slowly processed Santana's words. She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. She wanted to believe that this was real but it seemed too good to be true. Her face crumbled as she finally choked out a small, "Really?"

Santana nodded and that was enough for the floodgates to open. A small sob erupted from her chest and in seconds Santana had gathered her in her arms.

"Oh Britt," The brunette whispered, feeling tears well up in her own eyes. "Please don't cry." She pressed kisses into silky blonde hair and gently rubbed her hand up and down Brittany's back, feeling the tension radiate off Brittany as she touched her. "It's okay, babe."

Brittany would've smiled at the term of endearment if her emotions weren't running all over the place. Instead, she buried her face further into Santana's shoulder and tightened her arms around her waist. Her body wouldn't stop trembling and Santana pressed a kiss to her temple in silent reassurance. After a while, she felt Santana begin to pull away but she just held her closer. "I don't want to wake up and find out that this was all a dream."

"You won't." Santana said softly. "I promise."

Brittany pulled back slightly to meet Santana's eyes. "Do you really want me to be your girlfriend?" She asked shyly. "Even with the way I look?"

Santana nodded her head. "Yes, I really do."

Brittany's eyes brightened and she leaned in to place a soft kiss on Santana's lips. Santana ran her fingers over Brittany's abdomen and the blonde tensed again, the same nervous look from before spreading across her features. Santana felt her heart ache at the insecurity in Brittany's eyes but she didn't comment on it.

"Do your scars ever still hurt?" She asked instead.

"They feel a little tender and sensitive at times." Brittany explained, her eyes shifting between her shirt that was lying next to her and Santana's face. "I have an ointment that helps. I use it when I've had a long day but it's hard to reach the ones on my back."

Santana could see the confliction in Brittany's eyes. She took the blonde's hand before she could grab her shirt and brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Lie down on your stomach." She instructed, not wanting Brittany to hide from her. The look of panic on Brittany's face made her add, "Don't worry, Britt. I won't hurt you."

The sincerity in Santana's voice made Brittany comply without further anxiety. She shifted to the middle of the mattress and lay down on her front, turning her head sideways. Santana quickly found the ointment that Brittany mentioned before in the drawer of the bedside table and gently straddled the blonde, legs on either side of her hips, careful not to scare her.

"What are you doing?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Just relax and let me take care of you." Santana told her gently, leaning down to place a reassuring kiss on her cheek. Brittany exhaled shakily and tried to relax. Once Santana was sure that Brittany was ready, she squeezed a generous amount of ointment onto her fingers and let it warm for a moment, using her free hand to brush Brittany's hair to the side.

Starting high up Brittany's back, the brunette started to rub the ointment into Brittany's scars, making small circular patterns with her fingertips. She massaged Brittany's shoulders for a while and then went to unclip the blonde's bra, stopping her movements to wait for a sign of permission. Brittany burrowed herself further into the mattress, as if trying to hide, and then nodded once.

She still couldn't believe that Santana was willing to touch her.

Santana carefully unclipped Brittany's bra and continued to move her hands in wide strokes up and down the length of Brittany's back, using the fleshy part of her palms. A smile found its way to her lips when she felt the tight muscles underneath Brittany's warm skin begin to loosen, even though her face was still tense.

Once the ointment was absorbed into Brittany's scars, Santana fastened her bra and spoke in a soft voice, "Are you okay to turn over onto your back?"

A flash of fear crossed Brittany's features and she swallowed thickly, her fingers nervously gripping the sheet beneath her. Santana sat back on her heels and just waited patiently, not wanting to push her. At Brittany's timid nod, Santana scooted backwards and watched as the blonde turned over, revealing the more aggressive looking scars on her abdomen. Brittany closed her eyes and released a shaky breath, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

" _Hey_ ," Santana whispered as she gently caressed Brittany's cheek with her hand, wanting to somehow ease her nerves. "Britt..." Brittany clenched her jaw and opened her eyes, revealing blue orbs that were glistening with unshed tears. Santana felt her stomach clench at the sight. She nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose and then placed a kiss there. "Do you want to stop?"

Brittany bit down on her bottom lip and reached for Santana's other hand, holding it tightly in her own. She let out another shaky breath and slowly shook her head. "I trust you."

Santana smiled softly and disentangled their fingers to reach for the tube of ointment. She then gently began to move her hands over Brittany's shoulders and up her neck, feeling the contrast between the rough, bumpy skin and the smooth, unscarred skin. She pressed her palm flat against Brittany's chest and could feel the rapid beating of her heart. She frowned and her eyes moved back up to meet nervous blue ones.

"It's okay." She soothed, slowly combing her fingers through Brittany's long hair and letting her thumb lightly stroke the skin beneath the blonde's ear. "It's just me."

Brittany's brow furrowed slightly as the tension began to creep back into her body. "I-I'm…" She blinked hard as she collected her thoughts and tried again. "I'm scared, San. You could have any girl in the world but still you're choosing me. I don't want you to change your mind."

"That's not going to happen, Britt." Santana told her, looking deeply into her eyes. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." Not giving her a chance to rebut, Santana leaned down and kissed her softly, dark hair falling down the sides of her face. Pulling away, she pecked the tip of Brittany's nose and rested their foreheads together. "Why would I want anyone else when my girlfriend is this beautiful?"

Brittany smiled a tiny smile that lit up the entire room. A warm feeling spread through Santana's body and she couldn't stop herself from kissing Brittany's lips once more. "Are you ready to continue?" She asked after they parted, sitting up again.

Brittany's face turned serious at this and she took a deep breath, nodding once. Santana let her hands lightly brush against the material of Brittany's bra before she settled them on Brittany's firm stomach, feeling the muscles jerk and react to her touch. She stilled her movements and gave Brittany a moment to relax. When Brittany showed no signs of reluctance, Santana squeezed some ointment on her hands and rubbed it between her palms.

Santana's gaze never left Brittany's as she began to move her hands over the scars on her stomach, gently kneading the skin. Brittany's eyes were wide but hopeful and watching her intently, following her every move. Santana squeezed her sides in affection and moved up, resting her hands against her ribs and massaging them tenderly. Brittany's breath hitched slightly and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a light blush tinting her cheeks.

The brunette moved lower, gently kneading the area around Brittany's belly button and letting her fingers graze the waistband of her jeans. She rested her hand there and brought her other hand up to brush Brittany's hair away from her face. "Do you have more scars on your legs?"

Brittany sighed and nodded sadly. "Yes."

"Can I see?" Santana asked softly, wanting Brittany to know that she appreciated every part of her no matter what. A shudder rippled through Brittany's slender frame and her eyes darted around Santana's face, scanning every inch. She trusted Santana but the thought of fully showing herself still scared her immensely. Santana immediately picked up on it and withdrew her hand, sending her a smile to show her understanding. "It's okay. It can wait until another time."

"Another time." Brittany nodded, relief evident on her face.

Santana leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against Brittany's before capturing them in a sweet kiss. Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered shut and her hand curled around the back of Santana's neck, running her fingers through the soft hairs she found there. She shivered when Santana ran her tongue across her bottom lip and opened her mouth, deepening the kiss.

Brittany eventually broke the kiss for air, breathing heavily, eyes remaining closed. Santana propped herself up on one elbow and smiled down at the girl who she got to call her girlfriend now. Words couldn't describe how happy that made her. They lay there in silence for a while and Santana was pretty sure that Brittany was starting to doze off. She planted a kiss on the blonde's forehead and then slowly climbed off her and out of bed.

"No, don't leave." Brittany whispered groggily.

"I'm not leaving." Santana assured her. "I'm just going to change my clothes, they're not very comfortable. You should probably do the same."

Brittany's eyes snapped open when she realized that she was still lying there shirtless. Her face flushed in embarrassment and she quickly pulled the covers over herself. Santana sighed sadly but didn't say anything. It was probably going to take some time for Brittany to feel completely comfortable around her and she respected that.

"I'm going to take a quick shower. I still smell like wine a little." Brittany announced.

Santana nodded. "Let me brush my teeth first."

A few minutes later, Santana was lying in bed while Brittany was in the shower. She buried her face in the pillow Brittany had used before and inhaled the familiar scent that was her girlfriend, causing her to sigh happily. It meant a lot to Santana that Brittany had trusted her enough to show her the most vulnerable part of herself and she meant every word she had said to her. She really wasn't going anywhere.

When Brittany joined her in bed, she rolled over and settled behind the blonde, wrapping her arms around her waist protectively. Brittany snuggled into her and covered one of her hands with her own, never wanting to let go. She still couldn't believe that this was real. After her accident she hadn't been expecting to ever feel this happy again.

"Go to sleep, Britt-Britt." Santana whispered, nuzzling her nose into Brittany's hair. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

With those words, Brittany allowed her eyes to fall shut. Santana's warmth made her feel safer than she had felt in a very long time. She felt Santana's breath hit the back of her neck and it calmed her. It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Brittany woke up to the sun shining brightly into the room. She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to Santana who was now snuggled against her chest. Her face was calm and her long, dark hair was fanned out on the pillow. Brittany smiled to herself, wondering how she had gotten so lucky to have someone as beautiful as Santana in her life.

Relief flooded her body when she realized that she had slept through the night. This was the second time that Santana had stayed over and she hadn't woken up once. Telling Santana about her accident had brought up a lot of emotions and she had expected it to trigger a nightmare but luckily that wasn't the case. Maybe Santana was her good luck charm.

Brittany dropped a kiss on Santana's forehead and carefully disentangled herself from the brunette's arms. She got out of bed, made a stop at the bathroom and then walked into the kitchen where she began to prepare breakfast. It was Sunday which luckily meant that she didn't have work today and could spend time with Santana.

She was so caught up in her work that she didn't notice Santana coming up behind her until she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist. A smile slowly spread across her face. "Hey, San. Did you sleep okay?" Instead of responding with words, Santana began planting a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. Brittany turned around and landed a kiss on her lips. "I guess that means yes."

"Hmm." Santana hummed in confirmation. She cupped Brittany's cheek and connected their lips again, this time deepening the kiss. She playfully nibbled on Brittany's lower lip, smirking when the blonde let out a soft moan. Brittany somehow found the will to break the kiss and Santana pouted a little.

"I don't want to burn breakfast." Brittany explained, pecking Santana's lips once more before turning back to the food. "I was going to bring it to you."

"That's sweet." Santana replied as she rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder, tightening her arms around her waist. " _You're_ sweet." She corrected herself. Brittany's cheeks instantly colored pink and she smiled. "And cute." She kissed Brittany's cheek. "And funny." Another kiss. "And beautiful."

"San!" Brittany whined, blushing furiously at all the compliments.

"I'm sorry but it's true!" Santana chuckled, watching as Brittany flipped a pancake. "Do you need any help?"

"No, they're almost finished." Brittany said. "Thanks though."

Santana slowly released the blonde from her embrace and moved to pour them both a cup of coffee. She placed the mugs on the table and then grabbed some plates just as Brittany turned off the stove. They sat down across from each other and began to eat their pancakes in a comfortable silence.

A tiny sigh caught Santana's attention and she looked up to find Brittany staring down at her plate with a lost expression on her face. The brunette eyed her worriedly. "Are you okay, Britt?"

"Yeah." Brittany said softly, lifting her head just enough to make eye-contact. "I just wanted to thank you for last night." She held Santana's gaze for a moment before adding, "It means a lot to me."

"You don't have to thank me." Santana shot her a warm smile, reaching out to take her hand in her own. "I'll always be here for you."

Brittany felt herself getting emotional again and decided to stay silent, afraid that she would burst into tears if she spoke. She had done enough crying last night. As if sensing her thoughts, Santana quietly got up, walked around the table to where she was sitting and slid onto her lap. Brittany smiled softly and buried her face in the curve of Santana's neck, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist and sighing contentedly when slender fingers began to comb through her hair.

"I'm really happy." Brittany mumbled, her lips vibrating against Santana's skin.

Santana kissed the top of her head softly, nuzzling her hair and breathing in the sweet scent that was so characteristically Brittany. "Me too." She whispered back, smiling when she felt Brittany snuggle even closer. They stayed in that position for a while until Santana pulled back to look into Brittany's eyes. "You know you could've told me sooner, right?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany sighed sadly, hanging her head. "I was just scared."

"Don't ever be scared to talk to me." Santana whispered.

She cupped Brittany's cheek with one hand and tilted her face up to bring their lips together in a passionate kiss. Blue eyes fluttered shut as Brittany melted into the contact, completely forgetting what they were talking about and all her worries momentarily leaving her body. Santana's other hand untangled from Brittany's hair and slowly traveled down, slipping under her shirt and coming to a rest on the small of her back.

"It's okay." She murmured against Brittany's lips when she felt the blonde tense slightly.

Brittany relaxed and resumed their kiss, flicking her tongue out against Santana's bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth, playfully nibbling it with her teeth.

A groan escaped Santana's throat as things quickly grew heated and she unconsciously grinded her hips into Brittany, searching for more friction. Brittany copied the movement and shivered at the sensation, breaking the kiss to catch her breath and moaning as Santana lowered her head down to suck at the sensitive skin just below her ear. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when Santana took her earlobe between her teeth, lightly biting down on it before sucking it into her mouth.

"San," Brittany said breathlessly, knowing exactly where this was headed. "We should stop."

Santana slowly pulled away to look at Brittany, her eyes darker than usual. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Brittany said quietly, suddenly feeling incredibly insecure. "I don't… I don't think I'm ready for that right now. I mean… I haven't-…" She sighed, frustrated, as she struggled to find the right words. "I'm sorry. It's just been a whi-…"

"It's okay." Santana cut her off with a peck on the lips. Brittany suddenly looked ashamed, a little scared even, and Santana never wanted her to feel that way. "I understand. We can wait as long as you want, it doesn't matter. Don't feel bad."

Relief washed over Brittany's features and she reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "Thank you."

Santana flashed her a warm smile but didn't say anything.

"Do you have anywhere to be today?" Brittany asked, placing her hands on Santana's hips and looking up at her with hopeful eyes.

Santana smiled wider and shook her head. "Nope, I'm all yours."

Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest at these words. "I was thinking that we could stay in today, watch a movie or something and maybe… do some cuddling?"

"Cuddling, huh?" Santana teased, chuckling when Brittany nodded shyly. She pressed a kiss to an adorable flushed cheek before saying, "I'd love to."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8.**

 _There were flames everywhere. Thick, black smoke filled the air and made her lungs feel heavy. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage in fear and panic but she continued to run, even as the prickling heat assaulted her skin. Her eyes were tearing up and she couldn't see anything. She was trapped in the smoke. People were calling out for help, screaming and crying in pain. The hairs on the back of her arms and neck stood up when a familiar voice reached her ears. She gasped and stopped dead in her tracks. It couldn't be…_

" _Brittany?" The voice called out again and Brittany felt tears erupt from her eyes like a waterfall. She frantically looked around but was met with nothing but darkness. Her chest felt tight, her head was spinning and her vision was blurry. She knew that she was seconds away from passing out. "Brittany, where are you?"_

 _Brittany's attention instantly perked up again._

 _"Santana!" She called out in a weak voice. A coughing fit followed and she grimaced in pain. There was no response and a feeling of dread surged through her body. "Santana, can you hear me?" She tried again, her eyes darting around in panic even though she couldn't see anything. "Please answer me!"_

 _She tripped and fell to the hard ground, whimpering in desperation. Her fingers scratched at the solid surface beneath her as she tried to get to her feet. Santana's voice continued to call out for her and she wanted to reply but her mouth dried up and she couldn't get any words out. She started twitching and groaning when she felt flames burning her skin, trying to escape the fire…_

 _Suddenly, she heard ringing._

 _It sounded far away._

 _A phone_.

Her phone.

Her phone was ringing loudly next to her ear. It was vibrating in her hand where she had left it last night before she had fallen asleep. Brittany sucked in a deep breath as she was jerked out of her nightmare and unintentionally pressed the talk button. Not realizing what she had done, she placed a hand on her chest and continued to pant, trying to calm herself down.

"Brittany?" Santana asked worriedly. All she could hear was gasping and Brittany muttering the same words in a foreign language over and over again. It sounded like she was trying to console herself. Santana's brow furrowed and she called out a little louder, "Brittany!"

Brittany jumped, startled, and looked at the phone in her hand. She eyed it for a few moments, as if it was some strange object, and then pressed it to her ear, speaking in a shaky voice. "Hello?"

"Britt, what's wrong?" Santana asked, concerned by how distressed her girlfriend sounded. "All I heard was gasping and you muttering to yourself… in Dutch..." She trailed off. It was now deadly silent on the other end of the line and Santana was becoming a little afraid. "Babe?"

Another few agonizingly long seconds of silence passed before Brittany let out a shuddering breath and asked, "I was speaking Dutch?"

Santana frowned in confusion. "Yeah, how can you not remember?"

"I have no idea." Brittany mumbled. She flung the covers off herself and got out of bed, stumbling her way into the bathroom. She put her phone aside and splashed some cold water on her face in an attempt to cool herself down a little. Her whole body was sweaty. She looked into the mirror and saw that there were dark circles under her eyes which were bloodshot. Sighing, she picked up her phone and pressed it to her ear again. "San?"

"I'm still here." Came the reply. Santana had no idea what was going on but she was relieved that Brittany seemed to have calmed down a little. She decided to let it go for now and ask her about what happened later. "I'm coming to pick you up."

"Where are we going?" Brittany asked curiously as she clumsily tried to strip off her clothes with her free hand.

Santana grinned. "I thought we could go ice-skating."

"Oh, I've never done that before." Brittany said excitedly, struggling to remove her sweat-stained shirt and just giving up altogether. She leaned against the sink and focused her attention fully on her conversation with Santana. "I have to work tonight though."

"Yeah, I know." Santana replied. "Don't worry, I'll drop you off at your apartment well before your shift starts so you'll have enough time to change." She knew that Brittany didn't feel comfortable changing at Joey's with the huge chance of someone walking in. "I'll pick you up in an hour, is that okay?"

"That's fine." Brittany smiled into the phone.

They exchanged a few words of goodbye before hanging up. Brittany sighed heavily and walked back into the bedroom to put her phone away. Her hands were still trembling slightly as a result of her nightmare but talking to Santana had calmed her down considerably. She quickly changed out of her clothes to take a much needed shower.

* * *

"Wait, slow down- Oomph!" Brittany groaned as she fell for what felt like the millionth time. Santana laughed and skated over to the blonde, stopping just in front of her. Brittany looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. "A little help maybe?"

They were skating at an ice-rink just outside the city. Or rather, Santana was skating and Brittany was attempting to. Brittany didn't care though, watching Santana move around and have fun was good enough for her. She looked so beautiful. Brittany could sit back and watch her all day.

Santana reached down to help her girlfriend to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady.

"You weren't kidding when you said that you couldn't skate." She teased, chuckling when Brittany playfully swatted her arm, faking a hurt expression. She kissed Brittany's lips and let go of her. "Come on, it's nothing that a little practice can't fix."

Brittany shot her a warm smile that made Santana's heart melt. They continued to skate and make slow progress until Brittany asked to take a break. They sat down on a bench on the side and unlaced their skates. Brittany could feel the warmth radiate off Santana's body and she wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up on the couch together and sleep forever.

Santana caught Brittany's gaze and smiled shyly. Her thoughts wandered back to their phone call from earlier. She wanted to ask Brittany what she had neglected to tell her but with the way her lips looked, she couldn't stop herself from leaning in for a kiss. Brittany hummed in approval and kissed back just as eagerly, trailing her tongue along Santana's bottom lip lightly and running her gloved hands up and down Santana's back as Santana placed her hands on Brittany's hips.

Everything was momentarily forgotten around them.

They parted and Brittany was trembling slightly, despite how warm and giddy she felt inside. Santana gently rubbed her hands up and down the blonde's arms in an attempt to warm her up. "Do you want to go back to your apartment? I can fix us something to eat before I drop you off at work." She suggested.

Brittany nodded. "That would be nice."

* * *

A while later, they walked into Brittany's apartment and Santana heard Brittany sigh in relief when the warm air hit her. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's cheek and told her to take a seat at the table while she prepared them something to eat.

"Thanks." Brittany said. "You don't have to do all this."

"What? I'm just taking care of my girl." Santana shrugged, making Brittany blush.

Smiling, Santana poured the soup into two bowls and handed one to Brittany before sitting down across from her. After eating in silence for a while, Santana found herself looking at the taller girl curiously, trying to find the right way to bring up what she'd been wanting to bring up all day. Feeling Santana's eyes on her, Brittany looked up and met her gaze.

"What?" She asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"We need to talk about this morning." Santana started. A nervous expression spread across Brittany's features and she looked down into her bowl, shaking her head. Santana sighed and put her spoon down, continuing in a serious yet gentle tone. "Britt, you know I'm not going to let this go."

Brittany bit her lip and put her spoon down as well. She knew.

"What happened?" Santana asked gently, trying to get Brittany to open up.

Fidgeting with her hands, Brittany sighed, "I have these nightmares."

Santana just looked at her patiently, waiting for her to explain.

Brittany looked down again as she began to speak. "I've been having them since my accident. At first they were more like flashbacks, like it was actually happening for a second time." She hesitantly met Santana's eyes and the brunette nodded to show her understanding. "But after a while they started to change."

She took a deep breath and gazed into Santana's beautiful brown eyes again, this time not looking away.

"I started having dreams of Jess being trapped inside the burning plane, of her calling out my name and me not being able to get to her because my legs wouldn't move. Then they started involving other people who weren't even there, like my parents."

Santana nodded silently. It was hard to hear how upset these nightmares obviously made her but she knew that there was more to come. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to hear it if it would result in Brittany being upset. Nevertheless, she grabbed Brittany's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze, silently asking her to continue.

"Last night, or this morning… I don't know… I had one that scared me more than anything because… because it involved you." Brittany said shakily. "I-I was trapped in the fire and I heard your voice. I tried to get to you, I really did, but I fell and the flames caught up with me and… " Brittany's breath caught in her throat and she couldn't get the rest of her words out.

"Oh honey," Santana whispered, walking around the table and kneeling in front of her, placing her hands on her thighs. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Why didn't you tell me?"

Brittany shrugged, looking down at her lap in embarrassment.

"Britt…" Santana mumbled sadly. Blue eyes hesitantly met hers and she felt her heart clench in her chest. "You can talk to me about these things. You're my girlfriend and I want to be here for you."

Brittany nodded and Santana got up to wrap her arms around her girlfriend. Brittany snuggled into her embrace and sighed contentedly. She felt foolish but didn't want to move just yet. She felt safe in Santana's arms. Eventually, she drew in another shaky breath and said, "I'm sorry, San. I shouldn't have let such a stupid dream get to me. I'm just-"

"Being way too hard on yourself." Santana finished the sentence, pulling back to look at her. "You have nothing to apologize for, Britt."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Brittany mumbled.

Santana groaned and shook her head. Despite everything, Brittany found herself smiling and leaned in to give Santana a quick peck on the cheek. "I wish I didn't have to go to work." She pouted. "I'd rather spend my night with you."

"You know," Santana began slowly. "We've been together for a while now and you still haven't seen my apartment from the inside. Maybe you can sleep over tonight?" Brittany's eyes widened slightly and it took a moment for Santana to catch onto what she was thinking. "Oh- oh no, that's not what I meant. I know you want to wait until we do _that_."

Relief was evident on Brittany's face. "I'd love to see your apartment, San." She said with a smile.

Santana gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and returned to her seat. They finished eating their soup and Brittany got changed for work while Santana watched some TV. It warmed Brittany's heart to see how much Santana felt at home in her apartment. Having Santana around put her in such a good mood that she didn't think that anyone or anything could ruin it.

* * *

After being dropped off at Joey's and waving as Santana drove away, Brittany began to walk towards the entrance of the diner. She couldn't stop smiling even if she wanted to, which she didn't. A few months ago she never would've imagined feeling this happy but that was before Santana had come into her life. She didn't know how she got this lucky, or why, but she definitely wasn't complaining. Santana was the most patient and understanding person she had ever met.

Brittany was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice what was going on in front of her until she had almost reached the door. Loud voices caught her attention and she turned her head to see Marley standing there with her boyfriend. They appeared to be having a heated argument as both of them were gesturing wildly with their hands. Brittany was sure that the people inside the diner could hear them too.

She carefully inched closer and spoke in a low voice. "Hey, can you maybe take this somewhere else?"

Their heads snapped up in her direction and Zach narrowed his eyes at her. "Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Zach, don't be rude." Marley hissed, shooting him an annoyed glare. He scoffed and shook his head, mumbling something under his breath. Marley sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before looking at Brittany apologetically. "I'm sorry, Brittany. Zach was just leaving."

"Fine." Zach snapped angrily as he stormed off.

Brittany frowned at his retreating form and then focused her attention on Marley who looked as if she was about to cry. Brittany placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked and immediately realized what a stupid question it was. "I mean, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Marley said as she wiped at her eyes. "We argue about everything these days. Things aren't the way they used to be and I don't know what to do about it."

Brittany bit her lip in thought. She didn't know Zach that well but the way he treated Marley was unacceptable.

"Why don't you just leave him?" She asked softly, searching Marley's eyes. "He treats you like crap and you don't deserve that."

"I wish it was that easy but it's not." Marley replied as they walked into the diner. "I can't just throw away a relationship of four years."

Brittany didn't respond to this and sighed, dejected, as they made their way into the back room to put their things away. They emerged a few minutes later and Brittany was relieved to see that only two tables were occupied at the moment. It looked as if it would be an easy night.

In the following hours, not even one customer came through the doors and Brittany was close to falling asleep out of boredom. She took a bathroom break and was pleasantly surprised to see Noah and Sam sitting at the counter when she returned. They were still wearing their uniforms so Brittany assumed that they had just gotten off work.

"Hey guys." She greeted them with a smile. "Grabbing a late dinner?"

"Yeah." Noah mumbled around a mouthful of fries. Brittany scrunched up her nose in disgust. He took a few gulps of soda before speaking again, "It's dead in here."

"I know." Brittany sighed.

"You can go if you want to." Marley said from beside her. "We're closing up in an hour anyway so I'll be fine."

Brittany shook her head. "Thank you but I need the money. You look tired though." She commented, taking in her friend's tired eyes, figuring that her argument with Zach was probably the cause. "It's okay if you want to go home and get some sleep. I'll finish up here."

"Are you sure?" Marley asked and Brittany nodded. "Thanks, Britt."

Brittany just smiled and watched as she disappeared into the backroom. She chatted with Noah and Sam while they ate, thankful for the distraction. Time passed a lot faster now that she had something to do, which meant that she was closer to getting to hang out with Santana again.

"How's Mercedes?" She asked after a while.

"She's great." Sam replied, his eyes lighting up. "We should all have dinner together soon and catch up."

"How about this weekend?" Noah suggested.

"That works for me." Sam told him with a shrug. Brittany nodded in agreement and Sam grinned at her. "You should bring your girl. I can't wait to meet her."

Brittany wasn't even surprised that Noah had already updated him on her love life. She shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and was barely able to suppress a wide smile at the mention of Santana. "I'll ask her."

Her eyes met Noah's and he shot her a warm smile. She knew that he was incredibly proud of her for finally telling Santana the truth and his support meant the world to her. Looking back, she realized that she could've saved herself a lot of unnecessary fear but it didn't matter now because opening up to Santana had been a huge step for her and she had surprised herself with it. Sometimes she still found it hard to believe that Santana actually wanted to be with her though and it would probably take a while for to stop expecting this to turn out to be a dream after all.

Noah and Sam ended up staying until closing time. They offered to drop Brittany off at Santana's place but Brittany told them that she could easily walk there since Santana practically lived around the corner. She somehow still remembered the instructions Quinn had given her months ago so it didn't take long before she was knocking on Santana's door.

Santana opened the door and Brittany grinned widely when she saw that her girlfriend was wearing the sweater she had borrowed from her a few weeks ago. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, whispering in her ear, "Hi baby."

"I missed you." Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek as she wrapped her arms around her waist. They stood there for several moments before Santana pulled away and took Brittany's hand, guiding her further inside. "How was work?"

"Boring." Brittany said as she looked around the apartment. It wasn't huge but definitely bigger than hers. It was spacious and simply decorated. There was a large bookshelf standing against the wall with a chair in front of it and Brittany couldn't help but smile because it was just so Santana. "You have a nice place, San."

"Thanks." Santana said, watching as Brittany walked around the room. "Do you want something to eat?"

Brittany turned to look at her. "Not really. I think I just want to take a shower and go to bed if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay." Santana smiled, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer. "Now give me a proper kiss." Brittany leaned in but then pulled away at the last second, teasingly. Santana rolled her eyes and cupped the blonde's cheek, pressing her lips against hers and kissing her deeply. Brittany let out a soft moan in contentment, her hand going to the back of Santana's head, fingers tangling in her hair. They parted and Santana gently brushed her thumb over Brittany's lips. "The bathroom is down the hall. I'm just going to finish up some work."

Brittany nodded and gave her one last peck on the lips before walking away. Santana smiled and returned to where her laptop was standing so she could finish up part of the article she was working on.

Fifteen minutes later, Santana closed her laptop and made her way into the bedroom.

Brittany had finished showering and was standing next to the bed. She was only wearing sweatpants and was in the middle of putting on a t-shirt. Her head snapped up at the sound of approaching footsteps and her eyes widened in panic as she instantly brought her arms up to cover her exposed chest, dropping the t-shirt in the process. Santana watched as she turned away, her shoulders tense, eyes staring at the floor.

"Brittany," Santana whispered, feeling a tightening in her heart. She slowly stepped closer to Brittany so that she was standing directly behind her. "Don't hide from me." The blonde tensed slightly when Santana wrapped her arms around her waist but soon enough relaxed in her warm embrace. Santana pressed a lingering kiss to her shoulder. "I've already seen you once and you were so stunningly beautiful that night. The way you trusted me… I can't even begin to describe how much it meant to me."

She bent down to pick Brittany's t-shirt up and handed it to her. Brittany quickly slipped it on and finally turned around to face her. The expression on her face was one that Santana recognized as guilt and she mumbled a quiet, "Thank you."

"Hey, don't feel bad." Santana said, cupping her cheek.

Brittany sighed and leaned into her touch. "I just don't understand how you can think I'm beautiful."

"How can I not?" Santana asked softly, her thumb slowly stroking Brittany's jaw. She could see the sadness and uncertainty in Brittany's blue orbs. Brittany's mouth started to form words but Santana cut her off. "Please stop doubting yourself, Brittany. It hurts me when you do that. You're perfect in my eyes, whether you believe it or not."

For once, Brittany didn't protest and just nodded slowly.

Santana wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pressed her lips to her temple. "Let's go to bed."

Brittany nodded again and hugged her back tightly. After they broke apart, Brittany crawled into bed as Santana started her nightly routine to get ready. Once she was finished, she got under the covers and snuggled close to Brittany. She lowered her head to press a kiss to Brittany's forehead but Brittany lifted her face so it landed on her lips instead. Santana was once again amazed by how much passion could be behind such a gentle kiss. The effect of Brittany's lips on hers never failed to make her heart quicken.

Santana cuddled into Brittany's side, resting her head on the blonde's chest and wrapping an arm around her waist securely. Brittany smiled and slowly dragged her fingers down Santana's arm until she reached her hand, intertwining their fingers.

* * *

Brittany groaned at the sound of her phone alarm going off and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She didn't want to leave the warmth radiating off the body curled up against her. She had to get up and get ready for work though so she forced her eyelids open. Santana was still fast asleep and Brittany couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked. Brittany slowly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Santana up, and started to get ready.

She easily found her way around the apartment and walked into the kitchen to prepare herself some coffee. Her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket and she quickly pulled it out. At first she was a little confused about why her mom was calling her at this time but then she remembered that her mom always woke up early.

"Hello." She answered the call tiredly.

"Hey, lieverd." Brittany winced at how cheery her mom's voice sounded. It was definitely too early for this. "Is this a bad time? It's been so long since you've called."

Brittany briefly contemplated saying 'yes' but she felt bad that it had once again been so long since she had last spoken to her parents. Her mom started rambling about something that Brittany only half-listened to. It wasn't until she mentioned coming home to visit that Brittany's attention perked up again.

She sighed. "Mom, I told you that I can't come home right now."

"Why not?" Susan asked. "I know that you haven't taken a single day off in years so I'm sure that Joey would understand."

"Let me guess, you spoke with Noah." Brittany muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yes and he also told me that there have been some interesting developments in your life." Susan said, making Brittany sigh. "That was all he said though so feel free to enlighten me."

"Do you remember that time you called me after I had just gotten home from a date with a girl named Santana?" It was an unnecessary question; her mom always remembered these sort of things. Still, she waited for a hum of confirmation before continuing. "Well, she's my girlfriend now."

There was a second of silence before an excited reply came. "Oh Britt, I'm so happy to hear that! Tell me everything about her. What does she look like?"

Brittany took a sip from her coffee before she spoke with a small smile on her face. "Well, she has dark hair and the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. She's smart, funny and so talented. She writes for Schuester's Magazine. You know the magazine about music?"

"She sounds lovely, honey." Susan commented, feeling her heart warm up at how happy Brittany sounded. She hesitated for a moment, knowing that this was a sensitive subject to Brittany, but then asked, "Does she know about your accident?"

"She does." Brittany confirmed. "I told her everything and she was so understanding. I even showed her my… scars and she wasn't disgusted or anything. She says that it doesn't matter to her."

"I'm so proud of you." Brittany blushed at her mom's compliment. "You should bring her when you come to visit. Your dad and I would love to meet her."

Just like that, Brittany's smile disappeared. "It's not that I don't want to visit, mom, but I just can't right now." Her mom tried to say something but Brittany cut her off. "Please don't offer to pay for my plane ticket again because you know that I'll refuse. If I travel by bus, I'll have to take extra time off and they need me at the diner."

"Have you even discussed it with Joey?" Susan asked. Brittany remained silent so she sighed. "Look Brittany, I know that it's hard for you to allow yourself to relax but I think that it would be good for you. We could always come to you but you would still be working every day."

Brittany pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'll think about it."

"Sure, that's fine." Her mom sounded hopeful. "Take all the time you need."

"Well, I have to go to work soon. I promise that I'll try to call more often."

"Okay, lieverd. I love you."

Brittany smiled a little. "I love you too, mom."

She ended the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket. The sound of someone clearing their throat behind her startled her and she turned around. Santana was standing there with a curious expression on her face and Brittany shot her a small smile. "Hey, what are you doing out of bed this early?"

"I woke up and wanted to see you before you left." Santana said with a shrug. She stepped closer to Brittany and tilted her head questioningly. "I couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation with your mom. Is everything okay?"

Brittany sighed. "She wants us to come visit but I told her that we can't."

"Why is that?" Santana asked, smiling a little when she realized that Brittany had told her mom about them.

"Because of work." Brittany frowned, leaning against the counter. "We can't just take time off."

"Of course we can." Santana said as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Brittany just stared at her with a blank expression on her face so she smiled softly and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear. "I'm sure that your boss wouldn't mind if you took a few days off. You've been working your ass of at that place for years."

Brittany bit her lip in thought. She knew that Joey would happily give her some free time if she'd ask but there was still something holding her back so she easily came up with another excuse. "I can't afford a bus ticket and I don't really want to let my parents pay for it."

"Babe, I have a car." Santana reminded her. Brittany again didn't say anything so she continued. "I'm not going to pressure you if you don't want to go but I think it'd be good for you."

"That's exactly what my mom said." Brittany mumbled, eliciting a smile from Santana. She sighed and decided to repeat her words from earlier, "I'll think about it."

Santana just nodded and changed the subject. "Have you had breakfast?"

Brittany shook her head and before she had the chance protest, Santana was already busy fixing her something to eat. Brittany smiled and just watched her in silence, admiring her ability to look so beautiful when she had just woken up.

After breakfast, Santana walked Brittany to the door. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes. Thanks for breakfast." Brittany said. Santana just smiled and leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips. Just as she was about to pull away, Brittany placed her hands on her hips to keep her in place and kissed her again. She smiled when her eyes met warm brown ones. "I'll see you later."

Santana returned the smile and waited until her girlfriend was out of sight before she closed the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9.**

 _"What is this about, Santana?" Mrs. Lopez asked, standing beside her husband._

 _Before Santana had the chance to say anything, Mr. Lopez looked at her excitedly and exclaimed, "I bet you got yourself a boyfriend, didn't you?"_

 _Santana's eyes widened. Shock and happiness crawled across her mom's features and she ran up to Santana, kissing both of her cheeks. "Really? Is this true?"_

 _"No, ma-"_

 _"When do we get to meet this young man?" Mr. Lopez asked._

 _"Papi, I-"_

 _"He must be so handsome," Mrs. Lopez sighed with a dreamy look on her face. "You must invite him over for dinner, mija!"_

 _"Listen to me!" Santana cried out in frustration. They both looked at her, slightly surprised and she sank back into the couch, nervously twiddling her thumbs. She took a deep breath and said, "I don't have a boyfriend. That's not what I want to tell you."_

 _Their faces fell and Santana felt her stomach drop. A few moments of silence passed before Mrs. Lopez spoke in a soothing voice. "Don't worry, Santana. I'm sure that you'll find a nice boy who-"_

 _"No, mami." Santana shook her head. "I won't."_

 _Mr. Lopez frowned at his daughter. "Don't be foolish, Santana, of course-"_

 _"No, no I won't because-" Santana stopped to swallow the lump in her throat, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I'm- I'm gay." She whispered the last word but everyone still heard it._

 _Silence. There was nothing but deafening silence. Santana couldn't control her tears and just let them slide down her cheek freely. She wanted nothing more than for someone to say something, anything, and suddenly her dad did._

 _"Don't say such ridiculous things!" Mr. Lopez spat, sudden venom dripping in his tone as he looked at her with anger burning in his eyes. "No daughter of mine will be gay. I won't allow it!" He was yelling by now and Santana flinched, lowering her eyes to the ground, trying not to look scared. "You are NOT gay, Santana. Do you hear me?"_

 _"Papi, please." Santana pleaded . "Just... just hear me out okay?"_

 _She stood up on shaky legs and carefully walked in her dad's direction, leaving some distance between them. She took a deep, steadying breath, glancing at her mom who hadn't said a word. Santana couldn't tell whether she looked angry or disappointed. "Look, I know that you have issues with people like… well people like me but please just try to accept it because I'm gay and-…"_

 _Before she could register what was going on, her dad backhanded her across the face, sending her spinning to the floor. Santana faintly head her mom cry out her name as pain erupted in her cheek, more tears spilling from her eyes as she heard those hateful words from her once proud father._

" _Silencio! Don't speak to me in that tone!" Mr. Lopez growled dangerously, pointing his finger in Santana's now reddened and tear streaked face. "You are not gay! You cannot be my daughter if you are gay! Go to your room and never speak of this again!"_

 _Santana looked up at him in disbelief. "Papi, please…"_

" _NOW!" He screamed._

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked Santana with a nervous smile, glancing at her from her spot in the driver's seat. They were on their way to meet up with Noah, Mercedes and Sam and Santana had let Brittany drive her car. The brunette blinked a few times and looked at her with a confused expression on her face. Brittany's smile faltered. "What's wrong, babe?"

Santana swallowed thickly. "I'm fine."

Brittany frowned, seeing right through the lie. "Are you sure? You went all sad panda on me."

"I was just... thinking." Santana said quickly, not wanting Brittany to worry.

Brittany glanced at her again before turning her eyes back on the road. "About what?"

"Nothing." Santana shrugged. Brittany's frown deepened and Santana sighed, reaching out to place her hand on the blonde's knee. "Don't worry Britt, I was just remembering some stuff."

Brittany nodded unsurely. "Please don't think too hard, okay?" Without taking her eyes off the road, she placed her hand on top of Santana's and gave it a soft squeeze. "You make me nervous when you do that."

"I'll try." Santana told her.

Brittany gave her a small smile but didn't remove her hand. They pulled up in front of the restaurant and Brittany parked the car. She quickly got out and walked around the vehicle to open the door for Santana, helping her out. Santana smiled and smoothed the bottom of her dress down before taking Brittany's hand.

They made their way inside, about ten minutes late, and walked up to the hostess who greeted them with a friendly smile. "Good evening, ladies. How may I help you?"

"Hi, we're meeting our friends here." Brittany explained. "Evans is what the reservation should be under."

"Right this way." The man said before showing them to a table in the corner.

"That took you long enough." Noah said playfully when he caught sight of them.

Brittany rolled her eyes at him and waited until he was standing before giving him a quick hug. After greeting Mercedes and Sam as well, she took a moment to scan the fairly busy restaurant. Her smile vanished slightly when she noticed that there was dance floor but she shook her head to herself and forced her smile back in place.

"It's nice to see you again, Santana."

Noah's voice snapped Brittany back to reality and she looked at Santana who smiled at Noah. "I'm sorry that we're late. Britt couldn't decide on what to wear."

"As usual." Noah commented.

Brittany shot him a playful glare and was just about to take a seat when Santana squeezed her hand to get her attention. She looked at her girlfriend in confusion, only realizing what she meant when she nodded at Mercedes and Sam. Right. Brittany unlaced their fingers and wrapped an arm around Santana's waist.

"Guys, this is my girlfriend Santana." She said with a proud smile.

After everyone had been introduced to each other, Santana and Brittany took a seat next to each other. They ordered their drinks and began to look through the menu while chatting lightly.

"So Santana," Mercedes started after she had finished looking through the menu. "How did you and Brittany meet?"

Santana had already been wondering when the interrogation would start. She smiled politely. "We met at Joey's. I was having lunch there with my best friend Quinn while Brittany was working. The moment I saw her I just knew that there was something special about her. It took a while but eventually I asked her out and well, she rejected me."

"Brittany!" Mercedes scolded the blonde, giving her a serious look.

"I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react." Brittany defended herself. "I stopped by her work the next day but she wasn't there so Quinn gave me the address of her apartment. I asked her if she still wanted to go on a date, even after the way I acted, and she said yes."

"She was so nervous." Santana smiled at the memory. "It was adorable."

"Aw, that is so cute." Mercedes cooed as Brittany blushed.

Sam nodded in agreement. "So, what do you do for a living, Santana?"

"I'm a writer."

The conversation carried on for a while. Sam and Mercedes asked Santana questions about herself and Santana came up with questions of her own to ask. Mercedes informed them that she'd started with the recording process of her album which was really exciting. Brittany tried to listen to what everyone was saying but she had a hard time focusing. She kept getting distracted by the dance floor. From the looks of it, the restaurant turned into a dance club after dinner hours.

The waitress took their orders and Santana frowned slightly when Brittany only ordered a salad, claiming that she wasn't hungry. She didn't comment on it though and turned her attention to Sam. "So, how long have you and Mercedes known each other?"

"We've known each other since high school." Sam said, smiling at his girlfriend. "I can share enough embarrassing stories about her to get us through dinner."

"Oh, this is going to be good." Noah smirked, sitting up a little straighter.

A while later, they had finished eating their dinner and Sam and Mercedes went to chat with one of the waiters they knew, while Noah excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Brittany and Santana alone. Santana scooted a little closer to her girlfriend so that their thighs were touching.

"Did you enjoy your dinner?" She asked, and Brittany nodded silently. Santana studied her features for a second. "What's wrong?"

Brittany bit her lip. "Nothing."

"I can tell something's wrong." Santana stated, placing her hand on Brittany's lower back and rubbing small circles over the area. At Brittany's lack of response, she added, "Are you not feeling well? Do you want me to take you home?"

Brittany shook her head. "No, don't worry, San. I'm okay."

"Okay." Santana said softly, not wanting to push. When blue eyes met hers, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "If there's anything I can do, just tell me."

Brittany blushed a little before shyly saying, "Another kiss would be nice."

Santana smiled and captured her lips for a second time, this time kissing her more passionately, both of them momentarily forgetting where they were. Brittany slowly ran her fingers through Santana's hair and deepened the kiss, not being able to resist her girlfriend's full lips.

"Christ, keep it in your pants, would you?" Noah's voice interrupted the moment. They broke apart, both slightly out of breath and Noah shook his head at them. "I can't with you two."

Brittany sank back into her seat and briefly let her eyes shift to the dance floor. Her mind wandered back to the night out at Mojo's, when the redhead had kissed her and she had panicked. Everyone had looked so happy, moving to the music, something that she didn't deserve to do anymore. She clenched her jaw and forced herself to look away. Dancing was part of her past now. She had to accept that.

* * *

At the end of the evening, they all said goodbye with the promise to hang out again soon. On the way back to Brittany's apartment, the two chatted about nothing in particular and the car soon came to a stop, much to Brittany's disappointment. She turned in her seat to face Santana who was sitting behind the wheel.

"So…" She trailed off, not quite sure what she wanted to say. All she knew was that she didn't want Santana to leave but she also didn't want to be clingy.

Santana flashed her an amused smirk. "So?"

"Do you…" She paused and bit her lip in thought. "Never mind."

"Is it okay if I stay over?" Santana asked suddenly, sensing what Brittany wanted to ask. "I don't like the thought of sleeping alone now that I know what it's like to wake up next to you."

Brittany's eyes lit up and she nodded. "I'd like that."

When they got inside, Brittany lent Santana some comfortable clothes before they took separate turns to shower. The sight that greeted Brittany when she exited the bedroom made her smile. Her girlfriend was dancing in the kitchen, hips swaying and body moving to the soft sound of music drifting out into the kitchen from the living room. Brittany slowly walked closer to her, careful not to make any noise, and when Santana turned away from the counter, Brittany slipped one arm around her waist and captured her lips in a chaste kiss.

Santana looked embarrassed at being caught. "Hi."

"What are you doing?" Brittany stepped closer to Santana and slipped her other arm around Santana's waist too, bringing her hands to the hem of her shirt and slightly lifting it up to run her fingers over her girlfriend's warm skin, smiling when she felt Santana shudder at the touch.

"I'm making us hot chocolate. With marshmallows." Santana replied, looking at the ingredients that were spread out across the counter and then back at Brittany, kissing her cheek and placing her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "For before bed."

"That's sweet." Brittany said, smiling at how adorable her girlfriend was being. "Nice dance moves, by the way."

"I wasn't dancing!"

Brittany grinned at her. "You so were."

"I was not!"

"Why are you embarrassed? It was cute."

"I'm not cute." Santana protested, a bright red flush covering her face and spreading down to her neck. Brittany just shot her an amused look. Santana looked at her for a few seconds and then sighed exaggeratingly, pulling the blonde closer. "Fine. Let's dance."

"W-what?" Brittany stammered, her eyebrows rising in surprise. Santana wrapped her arms around her neck and rested her head on her shoulder, swaying them from side to side to the slow song that was now playing. Brittany felt her heartbeat speed up and she exhaled shakily. "What are you doing?"

Santana lifted her head and found Brittany's eyes. "Dance with me."

"San," Brittany started to say something but Santana leaned in and kissed her softly. She rested their foreheads together and held Brittany's gaze for a long moment, searching her eyes. Some sort of unspoken agreement passed between the two of them and Santana started to move again, nuzzling her face in the curve of Brittany's neck. Brittany closed her eyes and tried to relax. She didn't know how something could feel so right and wrong at the same time. "Santana, maybe we should…"

"Shh." Santana silenced her, pressing her lips just below her ear. Brittany pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of holding Santana like this, inhaling the clean smell of her shampoo. Eventually, the song faded out but Santana didn't pull away. "Why don't you dance anymore, Britt?"

She felt Brittany tense up. "You know why."

"I don't. Tell me."

Brittany shuddered and clutched Santana's shirt tightly in her fisted hands, keeping her as close as possible. "I couldn't go on after my accident." She whispered. "I was out of it for a long time."

"That's not the real reason." Santana spoke calmly into the soft skin of Brittany's neck before placing a delicate kiss there. Brittany's heart constricted uncomfortably and she took a deep breath. Why could Santana read her so well? Santana slowly ran her hand up and down her back, soothingly. "Tell me."

Brittany felt her shoulders begin to shake with suppressed emotions. She didn't want to talk about this. "It doesn't matter." She said softly, hating the way her voice cracked and breaking away from Santana's embrace. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"It does matter." Santana countered, wanting Brittany to open up to her. "Talk to me, Brittany."

Brittany shook her head, turning away from her and mumbling something that Santana failed to understand.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me." Santana repeated her earlier words.

"Why are you pushing this?" Brittany asked angrily, crossing her arms over her chest.

Santana knew that she had to choose her next words carefully. "I want to help you but I can't do that if you won't talk to me. You don't have to tell me everything but I just want to know what's going on inside your head ."

Brittany was silent for a second. "You want to know what's going on inside my head?"

"Yes." Santana said softly.

"She's dead because of me!" Brittany finally snapped, whirling around to face Santana, her eyes hard and burning with anger. "That's all I can think about! Jess is dead because of me! She was on that plane because of me! She would have still been here if it wasn't for that stupid dance competition! How can I go on with something that took my best friend's life?"

"Britt-"

"She's gone and she's never coming back. She's gone and it's all my fault!" Santana's eyes widened when Brittany slammed her hands down on the counter. She wasn't used to seeing her girlfriend like this but at least she was talking, or rather, yelling. "She had so much to live for but now she's gone and it's just- it's just not fair!"

"Brittany, calm down." Santana tried to reach out for her girlfriend but the blonde shook her head and held up her hand, silently telling her to stay away.

"You wanted to hear this, right?" Brittany took a step backwards. "Now you know. Now you know that I can't stop reliving those final moments in my head over and over again. I can't stop seeing the fear and panic in Jess's eyes. She was trying to put on a brave face for me but I know that she was terrified. I can't stop wondering if she knew. If she knew that her life was about to be taken away from her as if it meant nothing. I can still see the blood, smell the burning flesh, hear the screams… It's exhausting and I just want it to _stop_."

"Come here." Santana said firmly, closing the distance between them and enveloping her girlfriend in a tight hug. Brittany struggled weakly for a moment but then gave up and let her arms drop loosely by her sides in defeat, burying her face in Santana's shoulder.

"You've got it all wrong." Santana spoke softly, her lips pressed to the shell of Brittany's ear. "What happened to Jess was an accident, you can't blame yourself when there was no one at fault. I never knew her but from what you've told me, I can safely say that she really loved you and wouldn't want you to feel this way. I know it's hard, it'll probably never be easy, but she'd want you to move on."

"But why her? Why not me?" Brittany whimpered in frustration, squeezing her eyes shut and adding the next part in a whisper, "It should've been me."

"Honey, you've got to stop doing this to yourself." Santana reached her hand up to cradle Brittany's head that was still pressed against her shoulder, gently scratching her nails across her scalp. "It was an accident. There was nothing that you could've done." Brittany didn't respond but Santana could feel the frantic beating of her heart when she pressed her lips to the side of her neck. "I know that you don't like to talk about this but you can't keep everything bottled up inside. You're only human. You can't block everything out."

"I'm fine." Brittany mumbled stubbornly.

"You're not fine, Britt." Santana sighed. "I think you need to discuss this with someone."

"I'm discussing it with you right now."

"That's not what I meant." Santana pulled back slightly to meet Brittany's eyes. "I think you need to see a professional about this, Brittany."

"No." Brittany shook her head with tears welling up in her eyes. "Everyone is always telling me that; Noah, Tina, my parents… Not you too, _please_."

"Okay." Santana reluctantly agreed, deciding to let it go for now. "But can you do something else for me?" Brittany looked at her nervously and gave her a small nod in reply. "You think that you don't deserve happiness but you do. I could see the longing look in your eyes when you saw the dancefloor at the restaurant. It spoke volumes. You gave up on what you love doing the most because you're punishing yourself for something that you had no control over. It's not right, Brittany."

"What are you trying to say, San?" Brittany asked softly.

"Dancing was your love and I want to bring it back to you." Santana explained. "Maybe you won't reach the same level you were once at or maybe you will. It doesn't matter. I just want you to be happy. That's why I'm asking you to give it another chance, take some classes to get back into it, let go of the past. Don't give up on your dream."

"But I'm scared." Brittany admitted in a small voice, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I know, babe. But I believe in you."

Brittany sighed and took a moment to think everything over. "Okay." She finally said. "I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking from you." Santana said softly, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of Brittany's mouth, holding the contact for a moment before pulling back and catching Brittany's gaze.

Brittany dropped her hands to hold onto Santana's waist and pulled her impossibly close, lightly brushing her nose against Santana's before pressing their lips together. Santana melted into the kiss and teasingly slid her tongue across Brittany's bottom lip, eliciting an eager moan from Brittany who parted her lips to allow her access.

They kissed for a few minutes before Santana pulled away with a smile, spinning Brittany around in her arms. "I'll never be able make us hot chocolate if you keep distracting me."

Brittany glanced over her shoulder and winked before walking away.

* * *

An hour later, they were lying in bed, Santana on her back with her arms wrapped tightly around Brittany, their legs tangled together and Brittany's head resting comfortably on Santana's chest. They were both still awake and just relishing each other's company.

"San?" Brittany spoke up quietly, almost as if she was afraid of disturbing the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. It was said so sweetly that Santana's heart warmed up and she couldn't help but smile. She made a noise of acknowledgement and Brittany continued, "I've thought about visiting my parents like I said I would."

"And?" Santana encouraged as she began to run her fingers through Brittany's hair.

Brittany was silent for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Santana's gentle touch. "And I've come to the conclusion that maybe it'd be nice to go home for a few days." She said, breathing in Santana's scent and nuzzling her nose against her girlfriend's collar bone. "Will you join me?"

Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Sure, baby."

Brittany sighed happily and closed her eyes, cuddling even closer to Santana. Santana listened to Brittany's steady breathing for a few moments and assumed that she had fallen asleep when she whispered another adorable, "San?"

Santana smiled tenderly. "Yeah Britt?"

"How come you never talk about your parents?" Brittany asked softly. At her words, Santana halted the movements of her hand and Brittany slightly lifted her head to meet Santana's gaze. "I know that things are complicated but don't you… miss them?"

Santana shifted her gaze away from Brittany's and clenched her jaw, exhaling slowly before speaking in a low, even voice. "I'd rather not talk about them."

Brittany's brow furrowed. "You pushed me into talking about my feelings and now you're refusing to talk about yours?" Her frown deepened at Santana's lack of response and she pulled back further to see Santana's face more clearly. "Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

"Can we not do this right now?" Santana asked, frustrated. Her voice came out a little harsher than intended and she instantly felt guilty. Brittany's expression, however, remained unchanged, piercing blue eyes trying to read her, leaving her feeling slightly vulnerable. She rested her hand on Brittany's lower back and lightly pressed down. "Let's just go to sleep, okay? I'm tired."

Brittany sighed and lowered her head to Santana's chest again, pressing her right ear against the skin above her heart, shifting to get comfortable. She pressed a kiss to the underside of Santana's jaw and softly said, "I'm always here if you do want to talk. You know that, right?"

That was all Santana needed to hear. She tightened her arms around Brittany and nuzzled her nose into her hair. "I…" She began but then realized what she was about to say and panicked. "I know."

"Good." Brittany mumbled sleepily against the soft warmth of her skin.

Santana lay awake long after Brittany had fallen asleep. It was only when she knew that Brittany wasn't able to hear her that she was brave enough to say the words that she had been so desperate to say to her when she was still awake. She felt like it was too soon but that didn't change how she felt about Brittany. "I think I love you, Brittany."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10.**

Santana nervously drummed her thumbs on the steering wheel as she drove. They had been on the road since yesterday and had stopped to stay at a motel overnight. Her heartbeat sped up a little when they neared the house Brittany grew up in. She couldn't help but suddenly feel worried. From what she had gathered, Brittany's parents were really protective of her so it was important for her to make a good first impression. As if sensing her thoughts, Brittany reached out and grabbed her hand, running her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

"Just relax, San." She told her sweetly. "It'll be fine."

Santana swallowed and nodded silently. Despite her nerves, she was also really excited to meet Brittany's parents. It was the next step in their relationship. It had taken some planning but they had both gotten a few days off of work. Brittany's boss had definitely been surprised when Brittany asked him about it but instantly agreed to give her some time to focus on herself.

When they reached the right house, Santana turned off the car and took a deep breath.

Brittany shot her a reassuring smile before they both got out. She walked around the vehicle and came to a stop directly in front of her girlfriend, tilting her head questioningly, surprised by the amount of insecurity Santana's eyes suddenly showed.

"Baby," She said softly, resting her hands on Santana's hips and placing a light kiss on her lips. "It's okay."

"I just don't want to screw this up." Santana admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You won't." Came Brittany's simple reply. The words were said with so much certainty that Santana instantly believed her. She leaned forward and attached her lips to Brittany's again, moving one hand to the back of Brittany's neck and settling the other on her shoulder, making it a sweet, light kiss that Brittany deepened, guiding her steps until her back was pressed against the car.

Santana's hand traveled down Brittany's bicep and she wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist, pushing her tongue past the blonde's lips, eagerly exploring her mouth. Brittany slowly ran her hands up and down Santana's back and paused at her ass, squeezing, causing Santana to moan into her mouth.

At the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat, Santana jumped in surprise and broke the kiss, withdrawing her hands from Brittany immediately. Brittany shot her a confused look and she nodded in the direction of the house, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

She couldn't believe that this was happening.

Brittany's eyes brightened and she hurriedly walked up to the tall man that was standing by the door, smiling widely when he enveloped her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around before safely setting her down again. Santana would've smiled at how cute Brittany's giggle sounded if she wasn't frightened out of her mind.

"I missed you, bug." Brittany's dad said with a smile, brushing the hair away from Brittany's face, as if examining her. "I'm so glad you're here."

Before Brittany had the chance to say anything, her mom appeared next to them and she was pulled into another hug. The embrace was so tight that Brittany struggled to breathe.

After a few minutes, she managed to pry herself loose and allowed her mom to look her over the same way her dad had done before. Her eyes landed on Santana who was still nervously shifting from foot to foot by the car and she quickly walked back to her.

With a quick peck on the cheek, Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her forward.

"Mom, Dad," She started, squeezing Santana's hand. "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Santana."

Their eyes turned to Santana and Santana gulped nervously. "I-It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce." She said in a shaky voice, offering her hand. "Thanks for having me."

Brittany's mom ignored Santana's hand completely and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug instead, taking Santana by surprise. "I'm sorry but we're huggers in this family." The older woman chuckled as she pulled away. "It's great to finally meet you. Please call me Susan."

"And call me Martin." Brittany's dad added, giving her a nod in greeting. "Let me help you with your bags."

"I already started dinner." Susan informed them as she led them further inside the house.

Santana let her eyes scan the place, carefully taking everything in. It was cozy, not too small, not too big. Various picture frames adorned the white colored walls, holding images of a younger Brittany or the Pierce family together. Santana smiled at how adorable Brittany looked, squeezed between her parents, all wearing bright smiles on their faces.

"Thanks, dad." Brittany's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she turned her head to see Martin put their bags down on the floor by the door.

"No problem, bug." Martin replied, ruffling Brittany's hair and laughing when she pouted and ducked her head away. He turned to look at Santana and Santana swallowed thickly, feeling incredibly small looking up at the man easily towering over her. Martin held her gaze for a moment and then shifted his eyes back to Brittany. "Why don't you girls get settled in before dinner is ready?"

Brittany nodded and led Santana to the door to grab their things before walking out of the living room. Santana followed Brittany up the stairs and into her old bedroom where they quickly set their heavy bags down. The room was exactly how Santana had expected. It was decorated with the light colors yellow and sky blue. There were some posters on the walls and lots of pictures of Brittany with her friends.

"It's weird to have you in my room." Brittany commented, taking a step in her direction.

Santana tilted her head slightly with a smile. "A good weird?"

"The best weird." Brittany grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer. She lifted her free hand to cup Santana's cheek and gently pressed their lips together. Santana smiled into the kiss and rested her hand on Brittany's waist, pulling her in tighter until her body was forced to mold around hers.

Santana was so caught up in the kiss that she didn't notice that Brittany was guiding them backwards until her knees hit the bed and she toppled over onto it with a groan, forcing her to tear her lips away from Brittany's. She pulled Brittany on top of her and wrapped her arms around her waist with a grin, brushing the hair out of girlfriend's eyes before capturing her lips in another kiss.

Brittany tangled her fingers in Santana's hair and gently sucked on her bottom lip, unable to suppress a moan when their tongues brushed together. Santana moved her hand down Brittany's side and let it rest on her lower back for a moment before slipping it under her shirt. She felt Brittany's muscles tense under her touch and she paused, smiling when she felt Brittany relax almost instantly, before starting to rub random patterns over the scarred skin with her thumb.

Brittany detached her lips from Santana's and started leaving kisses down her jawline.

Santana felt her stomach flutter and a soft moan escaped her throat when Brittany started to suck on her neck, lightly swiping her tongue over the spot. Their skin brushed together and Santana felt so good that she never wanted to stop. Brittany was always so gentle with her, touching her in all the right ways.

Without warning, Santana flipped them over so that she was on top of Brittany and brought their lips together again, kissing her with even more urgency and passion. Brittany locked her legs around Santana's hips to keep her as close as possible, her head spinning as she felt the tip of Santana's tongue part her lips. Santana hadn't intended to kiss Brittany this deeply but as their tongues clashed into a battle of dominance, she felt her arousal building up.

The sound of the bedroom door creaking open followed by the clearing of a throat made Santana's eyes go wide and she quickly scrambled off Brittany, causing her to fall to the ground with a loud thud. She gritted her teeth and clutched her head in pain, clumsily trying to pull herself into a seated position.

"Shit babe," Brittany whispered, climbing off the bed and kneeling next to her girlfriend. She gently helped her sit up and pried her hands away from her face, examining the damage and sighing in relief when there was no physical bruising. "Are you okay? Do I have to take you to the hospital?"

Santana cracked a small smile at this. "I'm fine, Britt."

Brittany bit her lip in thought and then leaned in to place a feather-light kiss on Santana's forehead. Santana's smile widened but it disappeared when she remembered what had caused her to fall off the bed. She nervously flickered her eyes up to look at Martin who was awkwardly standing in the door frame.

She couldn't believe that this was happening. Again. She felt like a teenager.

"Uh, I just want to let you know that dinner is ready." Martin said, looking unsure of what to do. He stood there for another moment and then turned to walk away when he changed his mind at the last second and glanced back at Santana. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

Santana nodded sheepishly and he shot her a tight-lipped smile before disappearing out of sight. She groaned and let her head fall forward against Brittany's chest, hiding her face against the blonde's t-shirt.

Brittany pouted in sympathy and gently smoothed her hair back. "San?"

"I can't believe your dad walked in on us making out twice." Santana whined, puffing out her cheeks and shaking her head at herself. She pulled back to meet Brittany's eyes. "This is embarrassing. He didn't seem to like me very much already but now he probably hates me."

"What? Of course he doesn't hate you." Brittany assured her. When Santana just stared back at her, she cupped the brunette's chin and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "He's just being overly protective as always. Just give him some time to warm up to you."

Santana sighed. "Okay."

Brittany pulled herself upright and offered Santana her hand to pull her to her feet as well. Santana dusted her jeans off and took a deep breath in preparation before she followed Brittany out of the room and down the stairs. Brittany's parents were already seated at the table and Santana felt her cheeks turn red when she caught Martin's gaze. She quickly averted her eyes and sat down next to Brittany.

"It looks great, mom." Brittany said, looking at the plates of delicious smelling food in front of them.

"Wait until you taste it." Martin smiled at her. "She's been slaving away in the kitchen all afternoon."

Susan shot her husband a playful glare before picking up her cutlery. "Please, dive in."

Silence fell over them as they began to eat. Brittany glanced sideways at Santana and could instantly tell that her girlfriend was nervous. It warmed her heart to see how hard Santana was trying to make a good impression on her parents but she didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. Her hand found Santana's under the table and she stroked her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

"So Santana, tell us more about yourself." Susan was the first one to speak up.

"Uh, well, my name is Santana." She mentally slapped herself as soon as the words left her mouth. A blush crept up her cheeks, all the way to her ears and down her neck. Brittany squeezed her hand encouragingly and she awkwardly cleared her throat before continuing. "I'm 25 years old. I write for Schuester's magazine. I like to read and listen to music in my free time. I wear shoe size 8…"

Brittany smiled to herself as Santana continued to rattle off facts about herself. There seemed to be nothing left of the confident Santana she knew. Her parents seemed to be listening to her intently though so Brittany just let her speak, occasionally squeezing her hand in silent reassurance.

"Tell us about your parents. What do they do for a living?" Martin asked after Santana was finished rambling.

Santana felt Brittany tighten her hold on her hand and a warm feeling spread through her body at the small but meaningful gesture. She took a sip from her water before answering the question. "My father is a dentist and my mother doesn't have a job." She dropped her eyes to her plate and hesitated for a moment before adding, "We're not very close."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that." Susan said in a sympathetic voice. Santana thanked her quietly.

The conversation carried on for a while. Brittany's parents asked Santana questions and she did her best to answer them all. Brittany was happy to see that Santana seemed to become less nervous by the minute. After a while, Martin directed the topic away from Santana and focused his attention on Brittany.

"How have you been, bug?"

"I've been okay." Brittany told him with a small smile. She glanced at Santana and then looked back at her dad again. "I attended a dance class last week."

It had taken quite some convincing and encouragement from Santana but eventually Brittany had signed herself up for a class at a dance studio. She had been incredibly nervous for her first class after the accident but it turned out that she had nothing to worry about. Her teacher was incredibly helpful and let her set her own pace. Of course it had brought back many unwanted memories, but it was just one dance class and nothing major yet, so Brittany figured that she could at least give it a shot.

Her parents stared at her for a long moment, both seemingly surprised, until her mom finally said something. "That's- that's great!" She smiled widely, looking as if she was about to burst into tears from happiness. "I'm so proud of you, honey!"

"Are you sure that you're ready for this?" Martin asked, his eyes scanning her features intently.

Brittany nodded. "Don't worry, dad. I'm just starting with some basic classes to get back into it. I haven't danced in a long time so I don't want to overdo it. I'm sure that it'll take a while for me to get back in shape. "

"This is great news." Susan beamed at her daughter.

Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks, mom."

They sat there for about an hour, eating and catching up. Brittany and Susan started cleaning up and Santana offered to help as well but Susan politely declined and told her to stay seated, leaving her alone with Martin. She immediately felt her nerves creep back in as an awkward tension filled the room.

"Okay, Santana, I'll just get right to it." Martin clasped his hands together in front of him, making Santana's eyes grow wide. "As you probably already know, Brittany has been through a lot of things that have made me become even more protective of her than I already was." Santana nodded quickly but knew better than to say anything. "You don't seem like a bad person. In fact, you seem to make Brittany very happy but I still want you to know this. I love my daughter very much and if you do anything to hurt her-…"

"I would never hurt her, Mr. Pierce. I-..."

"Don't interrupt me, Santana." Martin told her firmly. Santana quickly snapped her jaw shut, feeling heat rise to her cheeks. "If you do anything to hurt Brittany, lie to her or break her heart, you don't want to know the consequences. Is that clear?"

Santana's throat felt dry so she swallowed before squeaking out a small, "Yes."

"Dad!" Brittany re-entered the room. Her eyes shifted between her dad and Santana and an annoyed expression spread across her features before she shot her dad a glare. "Please tell me that you weren't seriously giving San one of those 'if you hurt my daughter speeches'."

Martin shrugged. "I just wanted to clarify some things."

Brittany sighed and moved to stand behind Santana, resting her hands on her tense shoulders. "Try to have a little faith in Santana, dad. She's not going to hurt me. I trust her and I hardly trust anyone so please try to do the same thing."

Martin held his daughter's gaze for a moment and then nodded once.

Brittany gave him a small smile and squeezed Santana's shoulders. "Do you want to go to bed early? I'm kind of tired."

"Yeah, me too." Santana replied.

They said good night to Susan before making their way upstairs. Once they were in Brittany's room, Brittany stepped forward and took Santana in her arms.

"I'm sorry about my dad." She whispered in Santana's ear before pressing a kiss to her temple. "I hope he didn't scare you away."

"Nothing could scare me away." Santana said, holding on tightly. "And don't apologize, I understand that he's just looking out for you. I can't really blame him."

Brittany didn't say anything and just pressed another kiss to her temple. They stood there for a little while longer until Brittany reluctantly released Santana from her embrace, stepping back and looking around the room thoughtfully. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Santana smiled softly and nodded. "Sure."

She grabbed the remote of the TV as Brittany crawled into bed and propped some pillows up against the headboard so she could lean against them. Santana settled comfortably in between Brittany's legs and the blonde wrapped her arms around her waist. Santana sighed in contentment and started to flip through the channels, stopping at a movie they both hadn't seen before.

Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's forehead as Santana rested her head on her shoulder. Santana watched the movie intently while Brittany just watched her girlfriend, smiling at her expressions, her fingers tracing random patterns on her arm. There was nothing that made Brittany happier than just being with Santana, simply holding her.

"Christ, this guy is an idiot." Santana commented, pulling Brittany from her thoughts.

She blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Santana lifted her head off Brittany's chest and looked at her curiously. "What were you thinking about?" She asked softly.

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled, shyly glancing away. "Just about how happy you make me."

"You're so adorable when you blush, Britt." Santana chuckled, pressing a kiss to Brittany's cheek that turned an even brighter shade of red at her words.

She grinned and playfully nudged Brittany's nose with her own, trying to make the blonde look at her. Bright blue eyes briefly locked with hers before they flickered down to her lips and back up again. Santana smirked knowingly and teasingly ghosted her lips over Brittany's soft ones. Brittany closed her eyes in anticipation and Santana couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the action. Deciding not to torture her girlfriend any longer, she slightly tilted her head and captured Brittany's lips with her own, lightly nibbling on her lower lip. Brittany sighed into the kiss and tenderly squeezed Santana's waist.

Santana pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear, watching as slightly dazed blue eyes slowly fluttered open. "Just so you know, you make me really happy too."

Brittany smiled brightly and Santana felt that familiar flutter in her heart.

They didn't say anything for the rest of the movie and by the time it ended, they were both feeling incredibly sleepy. After brushing their teeth and changing into some sleeping clothes, they crawled under the covers and cuddled up against each other. It was a tight fit, considering the bed was a lot smaller than they were used to but neither of them cared.

"I'm glad you agreed to come here with me." Brittany said softly, kissing Santana's clothed shoulder and tightening her arms around her waist.

"Hopefully I'll be able to stop acting like such a nervous wreck around your parents." Santana smiled a little. Brittany hummed softly and nuzzled her nose further into the back of Santana's neck, her warm breath tickling her skin. Santana recognized the action as a sign that she was close to falling asleep. "Go to sleep, babe."

Brittany hummed again and pulled her a little closer, absorbing her warmth. It wasn't long before they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day, Brittany and Santana decided to go out for lunch together. They took a relaxing walk through town, hands clasped together, as Brittany pointed out the buildings, entertaining Santana with stories of her childhood. The air was warm and pleasant and Santana was genuinely enjoying herself.

They reached the restaurant and headed over to the booth in the corner. Once they had taken a seat, a waiter approached them and took their orders. They chatted lightly as they waited for their food, Brittany's hand still clutching Santana's across the table, not caring about who saw. The action made Santana smile and she didn't let go until their food arrived.

"Brittany?" A woman and a man suddenly stopped next to their table, effectively stopping their conversation.

Santana immediately noticed the way Brittany's back straightened as her body tensed up. She looked up in surprise and stammered out a small, "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan."

Mrs. Duncan smiled warmly and leaned down to give Brittany a quick hug. Santana watched the interaction with curiosity. Brittany didn't seem uncomfortable but definitely a little on edge, as if she didn't know how to act around these people. The woman pulled back and met Brittany's gaze. "What brings you here?"

"I'm visiting my parents." Brittany informed her before she nodded in Santana's direction. "This is my girlfriend, Santana."

"It's nice to meet you." Mrs. Duncan acknowledged Santana with a smile. Santana returned the smile but didn't say anything as she still had no idea who these people were. Brittany shifted in her seat, wringing her hands in her lap as the attention was focused on her again. "How have you been, dear?"

"I've been alright. What about you?"

"Oh you know, hanging in there." Mrs. Duncan shrugged her shoulders. Brittany looked down at the table and shifted in her seat again, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm definitely surprised to see you here. If I'm being completely honest, I wasn't expecting to ever see your face again. It's been a long time."

Brittany glanced away guiltily, unsure of how to respond. Luckily for her, she didn't have to because Mr. Duncan spoke up. "We should really get going, honey. Your sister is expecting us in an hour."

"Okay. Well, it was nice speaking with you again, Brittany." Mrs. Duncan placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. "You know, Jess would like to know how you're doing too. You've never visited her grave."

Brittany just nodded.

"Take care of yourself, Brittany." Mr. Duncan gave her a small smile before he placed his hand on his wife's shoulder and started to direct her towards the exit. Brittany released a long, shaky breath and slumped further into her seat, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked softly, reaching for Brittany's hand across the table. Brittany slowly opened her eyes and nodded. "Were that Jess's parents?"

Brittany looked at her for a second before responding with a quiet, "Yes."

Santana got the feeling that she didn't want to say anything else about the matter so she decided to stay silent. Brittany appeared to be lost in thought and barely seemed to acknowledge her presence, her hand unresponsive to her squeezes. Santana just waited patiently and continued to eat her food, although there wasn't much left of her appetite.

"I've been meaning to visit her grave." Brittany suddenly broke the silence, her eyes still glued to the table. "I just hate seeing her name on a stone in the ground. It makes it real and sometimes it's easier to pretend that it's not real." She sighed sadly and finally looked up, meeting Santana's sympathetic gaze. "It's been two years, San. I feel terrible."

"It's never too late, sweetheart." Santana replied, raising Brittany's hands to her lips and kissing her palm. "She'd understand."

Brittany hesitated for a moment, her eyes nervously searching Santana's. "If I go, will you come with me? I don't want to go alone."

Santana nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Thirty minutes later they were on their way to the graveyard. They stopped by a small flower shop and Brittany bought a simple bouquet of sunflowers. She noticed the sparkle of curiosity in Santana's eyes and explained, "They're her favorite flowers."

Santana smiled but didn't say anything. She could tell that Brittany was nervous by how clammy her hand felt in her own. They moved slowly, getting closer to where Jess was buried. Santana followed quietly behind Brittany as she searched the rows of gravestones. After a short walk, they came to a stop in front of a grey gravestone that was labeled Jessica Duncan along with the dates of her birth and death.

"I-I don't know if I can do this, San." Brittany started as she stared at the grave. "I've never… talked to anyone like this before."

"Don't be nervous." Santana said softly. "I know it might feel a little strange but talking to a loved one that has passed helps. It reminds you that even though they're gone, they'll never be forgotten."

"Will you stay with me?"

Santana nodded and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. She then took a step back and watched as Brittany eyed the sunflowers for a moment before she knelt down in front of the stone and gently placed the bouquet on the soil. She took a deep breath and quietly said, "Hi Jess."

She was quiet for a long time after that. There were so many things that she wanted to say but no words seemed right. She ran her fingers over the words that were engraved in the stone as she tried to gather her thoughts. Finally, she started to speak in a soft voice.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited you. I hope me being here right now counts for something."

It felt silly to speak to a stone. She glanced over her shoulder and Santana shot her an assuring smile, encouraging her to continue. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the grave and tried again.

"I miss you every second of every day, Jess. Noah isn't here right now but I know that he still thinks of you all the time too." She paused. It was hard to voice all her thoughts so she decided to talk about what mattered most to her. "Life has been hard since you left but don't worry, I met someone who finally makes me smile again. She means so much to me. I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her."

Brittany looked at Santana again and Santana nodded in understanding, stepping closer and kneeling next to Brittany, placing her hand on her lower back. Brittany released a shaky breath and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "Jess, this is Santana."

"It's nice to meet you, Jess." Santana said softly, shuffling closer to Brittany and wrapping a strong arm around her waist. Brittany leaned into her and rested her head on her shoulder. A few moments passed in which neither of them said anything. Brittany was glad that she had agreed to come here. It felt like a relief to speak to Jess again after she had pushed it to the back of her mind for so long.

"Santana makes me really happy." Brittany's voice cracked a little and Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek. "She means the world to me and I feel so lucky to have met her. I'm sure you would've liked her too." She paused and sniffled a little as a few tears escaped her eyes. "You know that I'm not good with words but I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'll never forget you and all the amazing memories that we share. You'll always be my best friend, Jess."

She looked at the gravestone for a little while longer before she nodded at Santana to let her know that she was ready to go. They slowly stood up and Santana wrapped an arm around Brittany's waist as they turned to leave. It was quiet around them except for Brittany's occasional sniffles. Santana could tell that she was trying not to cry and it broke her heart.

"I'm sorry." Brittany suddenly blurted out.

Santana stopped walking and looked at her, confusion in her eyes. "What for?"

"I'm sorry for dragging you into my problems." Brittany clarified quietly. "It feels like we haven't had the chance to just be us because there's always something new standing in our way."

Santana tried to say something but her throat refused to work properly. She swallowed before trying again.

"Britt" She began, her voice coming out in a whisper. "I'll do whatever it is that I need to do to make you happy. I'll always be here for you and as cliché as it sounds, there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here by your side."

Brittany sucked in a shaky breath. "Really?"

Santana nodded without any hesitation before leaning in and kissing her lightly. Brittany's entire body sighed out at the touch and her lips formed into a small, appreciative smile. She gently grasped Santana's hand within hers and continued to walk. Squeezing Brittany's hand a bit, Santana walked beside her silently.

No words needed to be spoken.


	11. Chapter 11

_Things get a little worse before they get better. Intense chapter._

 **Chapter 11.**

 _Brittany felt the ground rumble beneath her. Darkness gave way to flashes of lightning and her gasp of fear was drowned out by a deafening crash of thunder. Biting down on her bottom lip, Brittany covered her ears with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't stop running, not once taking a break, blindly going on. Her breath caught painfully in her chest as her feet slammed against the pavement, splashing up waves of water._

 _She could feel the heat radiating off the flames as they continued to dance around her. Her steps felt heavy, as she was so sore, so exhausted. A sudden stabbing, excruciating agony shooting through her abdomen made her come to an abrupt stop. Brittany's blue eyes shot open, her breathing becoming shallower. She slowly looked down and her stomach lurched, almost causing her to throw up. There was blood everywhere. It was hard to tell which part of her clothes was soaked with blood and which part was only soaked from the rain._

" _Santana!" Brittany cried out desperately, her tears blending in with the rain as they slid down her pale cheeks. "Where are you?"_

 _She hunched in on herself and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her hands were freezing and trembling uncontrollably. The fire was getting closer and she knew that she had to run but her feet wouldn't cooperate. A groan escaped her throat as she dropped to her knees, losing all control over herself as she pounded her fists on the ground._

" _Damn it, Santana!" She sobbed, feeling the skin of her hands split as they collided with the hard surface over and over again. Her movements became weaker until she gave up and curled into a fetal position, trying to protect herself from what was about to come. She could barely hear her own whimpers over the constant thunder. "San, please! I'm sorry…"_

 _A sudden ear-piercing scream cut through the air and Brittany flinched. Her eyes darted around until they locked with familiar brown ones and she cried out in relief. Santana ran towards her when she tripped over something and landed on the ground face first. Brittany tried to call out a warning but the noise of the thunder drowned out any words she yelled._

 _She watched in horror as the flames engulfed Santana from behind, burning the flesh from her bones. Brittany tried to get to her feet but more pains made her double over. The screams that chilled her to the core continued until everything suddenly went deadly silent around her. The thunder had stopped and the fire had died down. Brittany finally managed to pull herself upright and stumbled her way to where Santana was lying, tripping over dead bodies that littered the ground, having appeared out of nowhere._

" _Santana!" She cried as she fell to her knees._

 _Santana slowly lifted her head and Brittany gasped at the sight that was revealed. Her face had been all but sliced off, the flesh hanging by threads, and her eyes were empty and heartless. Brittany watched in shock as the face that she hardly recognized suddenly morphed into that of Jess'. In one quick movement, Brittany found herself pinned to the ground with Jess' hands wrapped tightly around her neck. She panted harshly, staring up into dark, angry eyes as a cold voice chanted the same words over and over again._

" _You deserve this! You deserve this! You deserve this! You-…"_

Santana shot up with a jolt at the sound of screaming. It took her a moment to realize that the sound was coming from Brittany who was drenched in sweat and wildly thrashing around in her sleep. She had tears covering her face and was now whimpering broken, incomprehensible words as her body convulsed violently from time to time. Santana felt her heart leap in her throat and she quickly shook the blonde's shoulder, desperate to end the nightmare that was causing her so much pain.

"Brittany." She said, brushing away a strand of hair that was plastered against Brittany's sweaty face. Brittany grunted and struggled against her grip, attempting to roll away from her. Santana quickly held the blonde's arms down to keep her from hurting herself and tried again. "Brittany, wake up."

Santana felt a rush of relief when Brittany's blue eyes shot open but her relief was short lived when Brittany pushed her away with newfound strength and threw herself forward before emptying the contents of her stomach on the bed. Santana watched her girlfriend with wide eyes and reached out to place a hand on Brittany's shoulder but Brittany jumped in fright and fell out of bed in the process, hurriedly scrambling away until her back hit the wall.

It took a moment for Santana's mind to register what was happening. She quickly slipped out of bed as well and looked at Brittany who was now huddled in the corner, her hands covering her ears. This was exactly like the first time Santana had witnessed one of Brittany's panic attacks and her heart clenched painfully in her chest. The blonde was wheezing and her chest was moving quickly in time with her rapid breathing. Her entire body was shaking and she had her face buried in her knees.

With everything that was going on, Santana had momentarily forgotten that they were staying with Brittany's parents until they suddenly barged into the room, having heard the commotion. Santana watched as two pair of blue eyes took in the sight of their daughter before Susan knelt down in front of Brittany's shaking form. Santana could instantly tell that this wasn't the first time Brittany's parents had been in this situation either and that thought made her heart feel heavy.

"Honey." Susan murmured, placing her hands on Brittany's knees and squeezing. Brittany's wheezing started to increase and she tried to shift away from her mom, showing no signs of hearing her. "You're okay, Brittany. It's just me. It's just mom."

Santana felt tears well up in her own eyes. Brittany started rocking back and forth a little faster while whining softly, her mind still stuck somewhere between reality and nightmare. Susan's eyes flickered between Santana and Martin as she was growing more desperate with each passing second.

Santana finally broke out of her stupor and crossed the room, kneeling down in front Brittany. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked at Susan. "Let me try."

Susan nodded and backed up a little to give her some room.

"Brittany, please look at me." Santana pleaded, gently prying Brittany's hands off her ears, squeezing firmly when Brittany let out a whimper of protest. Brittany pulled her hands out of Santana's grasp and clutched onto her knees so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "You're safe, Britt. Come back to me."

Brittany wasn't listening and Santana felt panic build up inside of her. She gently brushed the hair away from her girlfriend's forehead and massaged the back of her neck, leaning down to speak softly into her ear. "Listen to me, babe, try to focus on my voice." Brittany sucked in another painful breath and Santana winced along with her before trying again. "Okay, it's okay. Can you hear me, Britt? It's Santana."

"Should I call an ambulance?" Martin asked shakily, looking incredibly concerned. "She's never been this… bad."

"I don't know." Santana replied, unsure. She focused her attention on Brittany again and pulled her closer until she was practically draped over her lap. Brittany's skin felt clammy when Santana ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to somehow get through to her. "I know you're scared, Britt, but please try to breathe."

Brittany coughed a little and slightly lifted her head, obviously trying to comply. Santana almost cried in relief because Brittany was at least starting to respond to her words. She gently stroked the back of her fingers down the side of Brittany's face in an attempt to soothe her. "Please open your eyes, Brittany. You're safe here. I promise."

After a long moment, Brittany slowly opened her eyes, revealing baby blues that reflected nothing but pain and fear. Saying that Santana's heart was breaking would be an understatement.

"Look into my eyes, sweetheart." She coaxed gently, waiting until Brittany's eyes nervously flickered up to hers. "That's my girl. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone's okay."

Brittany blinked hard at those words, her glassy eyes trying to focus. "S-San?"

"I'm right here, Britt." Santana told her softly, covering Brittany's hands with her own and trying to loosen the death grip Brittany had on her knees. "You were having a nightmare but it's over now. You don't have to be afraid. We're at your parents' house, remember? Everything's fine."

Brittany's breathing finally started to slow down a little and her shoulders slumped a bit. Santana pulled her into her arms and began to hum softly in her ear, threading her fingers through her hair and kissing the top of her head.

Brittany's entire body ached and she felt exhausted. Her clothes were damp with sweat and plastered to her skin. She buried her face into Santana's shoulder, clinging to her, too embarrassed to do anything else.

"Don't leave me." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on her breathing, trying to block out the screams that were still faintly echoing in her head. "I-I'm sorry."

"You've got nothing to be sorry for." Santana shushed her, a few tears escaping her own eyes. She smiled softly when she felt Brittany weakly tug on her shirt, trying to pull her even closer, and she tightened her arms around the blonde. "Take it easy, babe. I'm not going anywhere."

They sat there like that for a while until Brittany calmed down a little and Santana slightly pulled back, taking her face into her hands. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? You're soaked in sweat."

Brittany's head was pounding but she nodded anyway. Santana slowly helped the blonde to her feet, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist to keep her steady. Her eyes met Martin's and he nodded at her, silently trying to show her his appreciation. Santana returned the nod while Brittany kept her head lowered, obviously embarrassed about what had happened.

"I'll clean the bed." Susan said softly, seemingly unsure of what to do but desperate to do _something_.

Santana thanked her quietly and slowly led Brittany into the bathroom. Brittany was still trembling so Santana quickly sat her down on the toilet seat and knelt down in front of her, placing her hands on her thighs. "I'm going to run you a bath. Is that alright?"

Brittany blinked a few times and nodded weakly. Santana stood up straight and placed a soft kiss on Brittany's forehead before moving away to fill the tub with water. A shiver ran through Brittany's body and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She was so cold and tired. "San?"

"I'm here, Britt." Santana was in front of Brittany again in a matter of seconds and Brittany breathed out a sigh of relief. Santana wiped the matted hair out of Brittany's eyes before moving down and gently caressing her girlfriend's cheek. "Let me help you undress."

Brittany bit her lip and held her breath in preparation, raising her arms to let Santana know that it was okay. Santana removed Brittany's shirt and Brittany immediately crossed her arms over her exposed chest, ducking her head down in embarrassement. Santana sighed sadly but didn't say anything.

When she hooked her thumbs into the hem of Brittany's sweatpants, Brittany tensed slightly. Santana blinked back the tears that abruptly sprang to her eyes and grabbed Brittany's hand, holding it tightly in her own. "It's okay, Brittany. Please trust me."

Brittany released a shaky breath and gave a small nod of confirmation. Santana tugged Brittany's pants down, revealing the scars on Brittany's thighs that she hadn't seen before. Brittany studied her reaction carefully but Santana's expression remained the same; soft and caring.

Santana gently ran her hands over the marred skin, trying to get Brittany to relax. "I'm going to take off your underwear, okay?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and nodded but still trembled as Santana curled her fingers around the hem of her underwear and slowly tugged them down her legs, waiting until she had stepped out of them before throwing them aside.

Fresh tears welled up in Brittany's tired eyes. She had never felt so vulnerable in her life. A sob escaped her quivering lips before she could stop it. "I-I'm so s-sorry, San."

"Hey," Santana whispered quickly, reaching out to cup Brittany's cheek in her hand. "Don't apologize for anything, baby. None of this is your fault." She held Brittany's gaze for a moment but it seemed like Brittany wasn't even listening to her. "Do you hear me, Brittany? I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Just let me take care of you."

She slowly helped Brittany stand up and Brittany gripped onto the sink to keep herself upright. Her legs felt shaky and she just wanted to go back to sleep. Santana slipped an arm around her waist and guided her to sit on the edge of the bathtub before slowly helping her in. Brittany closed her eyes, letting the warm water comfort her aching body.

Santana knelt down beside the bathtub and rested her arms on the edge, her face twisted in worry. She watched her girlfriend for a while and then cupped some water into her hands, using it to wet Brittany's hair. Brittany shivered a little and opened her eyes, anxiety clearly visible in her big blue orbs. Santana smiled softly, trying to reassure her, and poured some shampoo into her hands before gently starting to rub it into Brittany's long locks. Brittany relaxed slightly at the feeling of Santana's fingers massaging her scalp and her head lulled to the side lazily. She was so, so tired.

Santana unhooked the shower head and started to rinse Brittany off, washing the shampoo out of her hair. After she was finished, she placed her hand on Brittany's cheek and ran her thumb over her pale skin to get her attention. "Are you ready to get out?"

Brittany nodded and Santana stood up to grab a large, fluffy towel. She helped Brittany step out of the tub and gently started to dry her off, feeling the blonde's hands shake as she hesitantly placed them on her shoulders to keep herself steady. Santana inhaled deeply and bit down on her bottom lip hard to keep her tears at bay. She wished that there was something that she could do to let Brittany know that there was no need to feel embarrassed or insecure around her.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm going to grab some clothes." Santana said, wrapping the towel around Brittany and sitting her down on the toilet seat. Brittany nodded slowly and Santana shot her another worried look before leaving the bathroom.

Santana returned a moment later and knelt down in front of Brittany, holding out a fresh pair of underwear and sweatpants for her to step into. She didn't even bother to ask Brittany if she needed help or not. Taking care of her girlfriend made her feel better. Once Brittany was dressed, Santana handed her a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Brush."

Brittany complied and began to brush her teeth, eager to wash the disgusting taste of sick out of her mouth. Afterwards, she took a few big gulps of water from the faucet before wiping her face with a hand towel. Santana watched her girlfriend silently. She didn't look close to fainting anymore but still pale. When Brittany slowly turned to Santana, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the taller girl. She didn't say anything and just held her, knowing there wasn't really anything she could say to make Brittany feel better.

After several moments, Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple before speaking softly into her ear. "Come on, babe. Let's go back to bed."

Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her back into her room. The bed had been remade and the window was open to let some fresh air in but Brittany's parents weren't there. They crawled into bed and Brittany lay down on her side while Santana positioned herself as the big spoon. She could feel the tension in Brittany's body when she pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "It's okay. Try to get some sleep, Britt. I've got you."

Brittany relaxed into Santana's embrace and a few seconds later Santana realized that her exhausted girlfriend had fallen back asleep. Santana tightened her arms around her waist and let out a heavy sigh, a sudden rush over emotions washing over her.

A soft knock sounded before the door slowly creaked open, light spilling slowly into the dark room. Susan quietly made her way over to the bed and hovered over them, a concerned expression on her face. "Is she okay?"

Santana was silent for a moment and then answered the question truthfully. "I don't know."

Susan sighed sadly and reached out to gently stroke her hand over Brittany's face, lightly caressing her cheek. Brittany stirred a little, looking slightly troubled with her brow furrowed. Susan watched her daughter sleep for a moment and then stood up straight again. "Martin and I will be just down the hall if you need anything."

Santana nodded with a small smile and watched as Susan slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She nuzzled her nose in the back of Brittany's neck, inhaling her scent, and rested her hand on Brittany's chest. It was reassuring to feel the steady beating of Brittany's heart and she allowed her eyelids to flutter shut.

* * *

Brittany groggily rubbed her face and waited for her blurry vision to come into focus. The first thing that she noticed was the familiar feeling of Santana's arms wrapped around her. But then memories of last night pushed through her pounding headache and she suddenly felt sick from embarrassment. She carefully untangled herself from Santana's arms and sat up, leaning back against the headboard, her body stiff with panic.

Santana mumbled something unintelligible and rolled closer, resting her head on Brittany's lap and pressing her face into her stomach. Despite everything, Brittany couldn't help but smile softly. She brought her hand to Santana's head and slowly began to brush her fingers through her long, dark hair. It was her fault that Santana was so tired. She had kept everyone up last night. Brittany sighed and closed her eyes. She felt like crying but simply didn't have the energy to do so.

"Britt?" Santana whispered before slowly opening her eyes. Brittany quickly retracted her hand and rested it on the bed instead. With a tired groan, Santana lifted her head to meet Brittany's gaze. "Hi."

"Hi." Brittany echoed, nervously fidgeting with her fingers.

"How are you feeling?" Santana asked as she slowly pulled herself upright and mirrored Brittany's position against the headboard.

Brittany shrugged. "I'm good."

Santana raised her eyebrows and looked at her skeptically. She covered Brittany's hand with her own to stop her nervous movements. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" She asked softly.

Brittany's eyes briefly flickered up to Santana's and then back down to her lap. "I'm sorry that you had to see me like that."

"Britt, I meant it when I said that I'm always going to be here for you. Don't apologize for something you had no control over." Santana said, rubbing small circles on the back of Brittany's hand with her thumb. "I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens."

"It feels like I've been nothing but a burden to you." Brittany mumbled.

Santana clenched her jaw and cupped Brittany's chin with her free hand. "Don't you dare ever say that again, Brittany. You are _not_ a burden and you never will be." She said firmly, staring directly into her eyes. "Have I done anything to make you feel that way?"

"No, but…"

"No buts." Santana interrupted her. "To me you're nothing short of amazing and don't you ever forget it."

Brittany sighed but didn't protest. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

Santana's brow furrowed in confusion. "What did I say?"

"You… you said that you loved me. Did you mean it?"

Santana tensed slightly. She couldn't remember saying that but that didn't make it any less true.

"Yes. I love you, Britt. It's okay if you d-" Santana was cut off by Brittany who wrapped her arms around her neck and connected their lips in a soft kiss. After pulling herself together, Santana kissed her back just as gently. When the two parted a few minutes later, Brittany smiled, a blush still on her face, and looked at Santana shyly.

"I love you too, Santana."

Santana smiled widely and leaned in to place another kiss on her lips.

* * *

Brittany slipped her hand into Santana's as they walked down the stairs. She could faintly hear the voices of her parents and when they entered the kitchen, they were both leaning against the counter with a serious expression on their face. Brittany could tell that they were both tired and guilt once again overwhelmed her. Their conversation fell silent and they both looked up.

"Good morning, girls." Susan greeted them softly. Concern was evident in her eyes when she looked at Brittany. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"I'm fine." Brittany said, forcing a small smile on her face.

Martin crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her for a moment before saying, "Look Brittany, about last night…"

Brittany clenched her jaw and exhaled angrily. She already knew what he was going to say. She didn't want to have this conversation again. "Dad, don't." She interrupted him before he had the chance to say anything else. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Martin pinched the bridge of his nose. "You need help, Brittany. I've been trying, everyone has been trying, but it's clearly not enough." He paused to take a deep breath. "It's been two years, bug. Your nightmares aren't getting any better and they're obviously deeply affecting you. You need to talk to someone. This is beyond us."

"I _don't_ need a shrink." Brittany snapped, pulling her hand out of Santana's so she could clench it into a fist.

"Yes, you do. You need to talk to someone who can help you."

"No!"

"Britt…"

"I won't go! I'm not crazy!" Brittany stared at him with hard eyes, her voice getting sharper with each word. She recognized the stubborn set of his jaw, it was the same expression she had used so often herself, and she mimicked it without thought. "Seriously, I'm not."

"I'm not saying that you're crazy." Martin said in a surprisingly calm voice. "I'm saying that there is help out there for you and I think you should get it. Your mom and I love you so much, Brittany, and we're worried about you."

"No." Brittany growled as hot, angry tears started to fall from her eyes. "I'm tired of people telling me what to do!"

"Babe, please don't cry." Santana pleaded. "There's no shame in admitting that you need help, Britt."

"Don't, Santana." Brittany said, stubbornly shaking her head. "I don't need a shrink."

"Brittany…"

"Just leave me alone."

"Brittany." Santana spoke softly, helplessly. "Britt, just listen to me."

"Why? I don't need you to tell me how fucked up I am!" Brittany yelled, making Santana frown. She didn't think she had ever heard Brittany swear before and it made her realize how serious the situation was. "I don't need a damn shrink! I'm not crazy!"

"I know you're not crazy!" Santana yelled back, frustration getting the best of her. "Confiding in a therapist has nothing to do with being crazy. It's completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about."

Brittany turned her face away so she didn't have to look at Santana. "I'm fine. I can handle it."

"You're not fine, Britt." Santana stepped closer to her. "And that doesn't make you crazy. You're far from crazy. You just need help and there's nothing wrong with that."

Brittany sagged against Santana, as if all the fight had drained out of her. Santana wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." Brittany whispered, burying her face in Santana's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Santana shushed her gently. "Just try one session, Britt. If you feel like it doesn't help you, we can forget about it."

Brittany's expression softened and she pulled back slightly to look at Santana with tired eyes. "Fine." She whispered, letting her head fall to Santana's shoulder again. "Just one."

"Thank you." Santana exhaled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"What would you like for breakfast?" An incredibly relieved Susan spoke up after a few moments of silence. "I was thinking pancakes."

Brittany gave her a small smile. "That sounds great, mom."

"I'll make them, honey. You have a seat." Martin told his wife. "Can you help me, Santana?"

Santana nodded somewhat nervously. "Sure."

After Susan and Brittany had left the kitchen, Martin and Santana grabbed all the ingredients they needed to make the pancakes. They started to prepare them in silence, Santana carefully following Martin's instructions. She couldn't help but feel awkward around him. He didn't seem to like her very much already so she stayed silent out of fear of saying the wrong things.

"I want to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter."

Santana was taken aback by Martin's sudden words. She licked her lips and chose her next words carefully. "You don't have to thank me, Mr. Pierce." She said softly, not even daring to glance at him and see his reaction. "I love Brittany and I'll always be here for her."

Martin continued to stare at the pan, flipping the pancakes as a subtle smile formed on his lips. "You know, Brittany fell into a state of depression after the accident. She wouldn't sleep, eat or even talk for weeks." Santana's chest tightened at the mental image his words brought to her mind. "My little girl was slipping away right before my eyes and I had no idea how to help her. It was terrifying to see her like that."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't know what to say, Mr. Pierce."

"I haven't seen her smile like this in a very long time and it makes me so happy." Martin continued, turning off the stove and putting the last pancake on the plate. "You're the reason for that smile."

Santana didn't know what to say. Martin turned to face her, his expression much softer than usual.

"I apologize for being so hard on you, Santana. You didn't deserve that." He admitted softly. "I just don't want Brittany to get hurt. It would kill me to see the light disappear from her eyes again." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I can tell that you truly love my daughter, you have proved that by now, and I trust you to look after her."

"I will." Santana said quickly.

Martin smiled a little. "We started off on the wrong foot and that's entirely my fault. I was hoping we could start over."

Santana nodded. "I'd like that, Mr. Pierce."

"Thank you." Martin said, relieved. "And please stop calling me Mr. Pierce. My name is Martin."

"Okay, Martin." Santana said with a smile.

They carried the plates over to where Susan and Brittany were sitting and set them down on the table. Santana took a seat next to Brittany and gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

Brittany smiled and placed her hand on Santana's thigh before leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Is everything okay?"

Santana covered Brittany's hand with her own and smiled at her. "It will be."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12.**

Today was the day of Brittany's first therapy session. She was feeling a little nervous because she didn't know what to expect but Santana had reassured her that it was going to be okay. The car came to a stop and Brittany turned in her seat to face her girlfriend. "You'll be here when I'm done, right?"

Santana nodded. "I promise."

Brittany took a deep breath, opened the car door and got out. She hesitated for a moment but then started to walk towards the building in front of her. When she reached the floor where her new doctor's office was located, she approached the receptionist desk cautiously. "Hi, I'm Brittany Pierce. I have an appointment with Dr. Hill."

The woman behind the desk smiled at her. "Have a seat. He will be with you shortly."

Brittany nodded and sat down in one of the chairs. Not long after, a man walked in and approached her. "You must be Ms. Pierce." He said, offering his hand. "I'm Dr. Hill. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Brittany replied, accepting his hand and shaking it. "You can call me Brittany."

"Please follow me." Dr. Hill smiled. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." Brittany politely declined his offer as she followed him into his office. He grabbed a file off the desk before taking a seat in a large chair, gesturing for her to take a seat as well. Brittany sat down on the couch across from him, placing her hands in her lap as she nervously scanned the room. It was huge and neatly organized.

"Just relax, Brittany." Dr. Hill said in a gentle voice, noticing how tense Brittany was. "I'm not here to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm here to help you."

Brittany nodded and tried to relax.

"So, Brittany. Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself to get started?"

"Well, I'm a waitress and I work at Joey's." Brittany told him matter-of-factly, not really knowing what else to say. She shifted uncomfortably before adding, "It's a diner."

Dr. Hill nodded; his expression soft. "And what brings you here today?"

Brittany stared at the therapist for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "Uh, I- I have panic attacks sometimes." She admitted softly. "I had a pretty bad one recently and my family is worried."

"When did these panic attacks start?" Dr. Hill asked as he wrote something down on his notepad.

Brittany looked down and nervously rubbed her hands together. "They started two years ago." She told him reluctantly. "I- I was in a plane crash."

"Do you think you can tell me a bit more about this?" Dr. Hill pried, tilting his head and looking at her intently.

Brittany took a deep breath and nervously began to pick at her fingernails. "I don't really know what to say. The pilot lost control of the plane during a thunderstorm and it crashed." She paused and glanced up at Dr. Hill who nodded encouragingly. "I somehow made it out alive."

"These are all facts, Brittany." Dr. Hill stated calmly, folding his hands together. "I want to know what happened from your point of view."

Brittany sighed and glanced away from his eyes, hesitating for a long time before speaking again. "I remember a lot of screaming. There were flames everywhere." She swallowed and took a calming breath, staring hard at the floor. "I didn't feel anything at first but then the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the worst pain anyone could ever feel. I- I could smell burning flesh but I don't know if it was my own or someone else's."

"What else?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and shifted in her seat again. "I don't- There's nothing else."

Dr. Hill observed the young woman sitting across from him for a moment. Her eyes were distant, void of emotion, and he realized that he wasn't going to get more out of her today.

"Alright, let's talk about your panic attacks again." He steered the conversation in a different direction. "Are you open to taking medication?"

"I would prefer to avoid that if there are other options."

Dr. Hill nodded. "I'm confident that therapy will help. It's important that you form a routine and stick to it, make regular appointments." He scribbled something down on a piece of paper before looking up again. "I _am_ going to prescribe some anxiety medication for you." Brittany opened her mouth to protest but he quickly continued. "You only have to take them when you're having trouble breathing. The medication will control the severity of the panic attack. Don't take more than two at once."

Brittany took the piece of paper from him. "Okay, thank you."

* * *

An hour later, Brittany exited the building and walked to Santana's car that was parked on the same spot as before. She opened the passenger door and got in. "Hey." Santana greeted her with a smile, looking hopeful and slightly nervous. "How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess." Brittany shrugged. "I have another appointment for next week."

"That's good." Santana exhaled in relief. She nodded at the piece of paper in Brittany's hand. "What's that?"

"Dr. Hill gave me a prescription for some anxiety medication that I have to take when I feel like I need them." Brittany explained. "Can we stop by the pharmacy on the way back?"

"Sure, baby." Santana said, pulling out of the parking lot.

The car ride back to Brittany's apartment passed in a comfortable silence with the exception of the soft music playing on the radio. Santana stopped by the pharmacy as agreed on and Brittany quickly made her inside to pick up her prescription. When she got back into the car, she rested her forehead against the window and stared outside, exhausted from the day already.

Santana glanced at her girlfriend worriedly and reached out to place a hand on her knee. "Are you okay?"

Brittany nodded and covered Santana's hand with her own. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired. It's hard to talk about… things."

Santana squeezed her hand but didn't say anything. When they arrived at Brittany's apartment a few minutes later, Brittany curled up on the couch while Santana sat down at the table with her laptop to do some work.

An hour had passed when Santana decided to call it a day. She walked into the living room and smiled softly when she saw that Brittany was fast asleep. Kneeling down beside the couch, Santana brushed the hair away from Brittany's face and gently traced her thumb down the blonde's jawline before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her slightly parted lips.

Brittany stirred before her eyelids slowly fluttered open, revealing sleepy blue eyes. "Is it time to get up already?"

Santana chuckled and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear. "No, babe." She said sweetly. "I just wanted to ask you what you want for dinner." Brittany just stared up at her, obviously still half asleep, and she smiled. "Your shift starts in three hours, right?"

Brittany glanced at the clock and groaned. "Yes."

"Well, why don't I order us some food while you sleep a little longer?" Santana suggested. "I'll drop you off at work on my way home."

Brittany smiled. "Thanks, San."

Santana watched in amusement as Brittany rolled over onto her other side with a dramatic sigh, burying her face into the cushions of the couch. She smiled and stood up, grabbing a blanket and draping it over Brittany's body. It wasn't very surprising that Brittany's first therapy session had taken a lot out of her emotionally and Santana wanted to be there for her as best as she could.

The food arrived about an hour later and Santana joined Brittany on the couch. Halfway through the meal, Santana's phone started ringing and she mumbled an apology to Brittany before answering the call with a slightly annoyed, "Hello?"

"Hi, Santana. It's Will Schuester."

Santana's eyes widened when she realized that she'd been rude to her boss. "Oh, hi." She said in an extra cheery voice, earning a questioning look from Brittany. Santana set her food down on the table so that she could focus her attention fully on the conversation. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Will replied. "I'm calling you because you've recently written some outstanding articles and I must say that I'm very impressed, Santana."

Santana's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh, uh… thank you."

"I'm sorry to inform you on such short notice but there's a cultural festival coming up in L.A. in just a couple of days and I want you to represent Schuester's Magazine and attend some events. Your flight and hotel have already been booked and I got you a VIP ticket. You're leaving the day after tomorrow."

Santana was speechless for a moment before she nearly squealed with joy. "That's amazing!"

Will chuckled. "I will email you the details later."

"Thank you so much." Santana said with a wide smile. Her eyes met Brittany's curious blue ones and that's when she realized something. Her smile slowly disappeared. "Where is the festival again?"

"It's taking place in Los Angeles. Is that a problem?"

Santana chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated the question. This was an opportunity that she simply couldn't say no to. "No." She finally said. "It's not a problem."

"Okay, great. Have a nice evening, Santana."

"You too." Santana said before ending the call. She shoved her phone into her pocket and looked at her girlfriend who was waiting for an explanation. She couldn't help but smile widely as she said, "My boss wants me to represent Schuester's Magazine at a cultural festival."

Brittany quickly set her food aside and lunged for Santana, cupping her cheeks and assaulting her face with kisses. "I'm so happy for you." She mumbled against Santana's lips before capturing them with her own. She pulled back and grinned at her. "I'm so proud of you, San."

Santana felt her heart swell with love all over again. "Thanks, Britt."

"Where is the festival and when are you leaving?" Brittany asked curiously, tilting her head in an adorable way that momentarily distracted Santana.

"I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. Will is sending me the details of my flight later." She hesitated slightly before adding, "It's in L.A."

Santana watched the blood drain from Brittany's face. The blonde's hands instantly began to tremble slightly but she quickly tucked them between her thighs to hide it. Santana still noticed though. Brittany took a moment to compose herself before she spoke again.

"Oh.. I- That's…" She trailed off, breathing in deeply and forcing a smile on her face. "I'm happy for you."

"It's okay to admit that you're scared, Britt." Santana said softly.

"I'm not scared." Brittany stubbornly shook her head. "It's just that… you'll be on a plane… traveling to L.A..." She sighed, frustrated with herself, and looked down at her lap. "This isn't about me, San. Your career is important and I know that you'll do amazing. Don't worry about me and my stupid fear of planes."

"It's not a stupid fear, Britt." Santana argued, moving closer to Brittany. "It's completely understandable. Do you want me to stay home? I can call Will back right now and-"

"No." Brittany said quickly. "I'm not going to ruin this for you."

Santana studied Brittany's features intently. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Brittany said with a small smile. She cupped Santana's cheek in her hand and lightly brushed her thumb over Santana's lips before leaning in to kiss her softly. She rested their foreheads together and gazed into brown eyes. "I love you, Santana."

Santana smiled tenderly. "I love you too."

* * *

The next day, Santana invited Brittany over to stay at her place so that they could spend some more time together before she left. Santana was planning on cooking her a nice romantic dinner. Brittany's panic attack had scared the hell out of her and she couldn't help but be worried about her girlfriend, even though she would only be gone for a couple of days.

Santana hated shopping for groceries, especially when it was busy. Luckily for her there weren't many people in the supermarket today so she easily found all the things she needed. She had just rounded a corner when a surprised voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Santana?"

It was a dreadfully familiar voice. She felt the hairs on her arms stand up as she slowly turned around to see her mother standing there. Santana watched as the emotions on her face changed from startled to surprised, from surprised to curious, and finally relaxed into a blank expression. She took a step in Santana's direction and Santana automatically took a step backwards.

"How are you?"

Santana scoffed. "Like you care."

"Of course I care." Maribel said. "Despite the bad choices you've made, you're still my daughter."

Santana just looked at her in disbelief.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you, Santana." Maribel sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I wish you'd just get over this ridiculous phase already. The sooner you do that, the sooner you can get married to a nice young man and live a normal life."

"Are you…" Santana cut herself off mid-sentence and took a calming breath. She had heard this so many times already. It wasn't worth getting angry over anymore. "You know what? I don't have time for this. I have a beautiful girlfriend, a great job and amazing friends. I'm happy and I really don't care what you think."

"You're happy that you're living in sin?" Maribel narrowed her eyes accusingly. "I hope all the pain you've caused our family is worth it."

Santana shook her head and clenched her jaw in disbelief, her eyes burning with repressed tears. She didn't know why her mother's words still had so much impact on her. "The pain _I've_ caused?" She repeated in a strained voice.

"You and your selfish actions tore our family apart, Santana." Maribel hissed angrily. "I have to explain to everyone how our daughter abandoned us to pursue a disgusting lifestyle. You're an embarrassment."

Santana's bottom lip quivered and the first tear rolled down her cheek. She hated herself for letting her mother's words get to her, again. A lump grew in her throat as her stomach twisted into a knot. Without another word, she roughly shoved past her mother and stormed towards the exit, leaving her cart behind in the aisle.

"Of course, run away!" She heard her mother call after her. "Run instead of facing up to your mistakes and fixing them!"

Santana ignored her. She was livid. Hot, angry tears were pouring down her cheeks by the time she reached her car. She quickly got in and banged her hands on the steering wheel, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Santana took a few deep breaths to calm herself down enough to drive safely and pulled out of the parking lot. By the time she got home, all she could do was collapse on the couch and cry over the one thing she had sworn to never cry over again. She had always told herself that her parents just needed some time and that they'd accept her eventually.

It was safe to say that she had never felt more stupid in her entire life than she did at that moment.

Somewhere along the line she drifted off to sleep, waking up hours later to the sound of knocking. She climbed off the couch and dragged herself over to the door, rubbing at her eyes.

"Santana, why haven't you been answering your phone?" Brittany rushed out as soon as she came face to face with her girlfriend. Her brow furrowed in concern when she saw how red and puffy Santana's eyes were. She had obviously been crying. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Santana mumbled, holding the door open and waiting for Brittany to step inside before closing it.

Brittany took off her coat, kicked off her shoes and put her bag down on the floor before following Santana into the living room. She joined Santana on the couch and placed her hand on her lower back, dipping her head down to try and catch her gaze. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Santana stubbornly stared ahead. She didn't want to dump her problems on Brittany.

"Babe," Brittany sighed, rubbing small circles on Santana's back. She knew that Santana was a very proud person who valued her strength above anything, never wanting to show her vulnerable side to anyone. Not even her. "Please talk to me. Maybe I can help."

Santana took a deep breath and slightly turned her head to meet Brittany's soft blue eyes.

"I ran into someone at the supermarket." She said softly, her heart squeezing painfully as her mother's words ran through her mind again. Brittany patiently waited for her to continue, her hand still rubbing the same patterns on her back. Santana glanced down at her lap again. "I ran into my mom and she said some things that upset me a little."

"Oh." Brittany breathed out, realization washing over her. She gently brushed the hair away from Santana's face. "I'm sorry, honey. What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." Santana said, her voice barely above a whisper. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, causing a tear to fall down her cheek.

Brittany felt her heart break into a million pieces. She had never seen Santana cry before and she wanted so desperately to make her hurt go away. Moving closer to her girlfriend, she wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her into her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "What's going on, San?"

Santana pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, as if to push the tears back. "I'm sorry that I ruined our night." She whimpered. "I was going to cook you a romantic dinner but I ran out of the supermarket without buying anything!"

"Hey, you didn't ruin anything." Brittany said gently, prying Santana's hands away from her face and wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "It's really sweet that you wanted to cook me a romantic dinner but in the end what matters most to me is just spending time with you. Please don't feel bad about this, San. I'm not that hungry anyway."

A small smile appeared on Santana's face and Brittany's heart warmed up at the sight of it. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Santana's mouth and then to her lips.

"Come on," She said after pulling away. "I'll fix us something simple to eat and then we're going to bed early. You look exhausted."

"Yes, ma'am." Santana playfully answered as she stood up to follow Brittany into the kitchen.

Santana sat down on a stool by the counter while Brittany opened the refrigerator door. "Let's see what we've got here." She murmured thoughtfully. Santana folded her hands under her chin and just waited. "Well, there's cheese so I can make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

"Sounds good."

Brittany gathered everything she needed and went to work. Santana just watched her as she skillfully moved around the kitchen. It brought a smile to her face to see her girlfriend slide across the wooden flooring in her socks, whistling a random tune and bobbing her head in time with a beat only she could hear. She looked relaxed and Santana loved watching her like this.

A few minutes later, Brittany placed a plate of food in front of Santana and placed her own next to it before turning around to get them both a glass of water. Brittany's feet were barely audible on the floor as she walked around the counter to take a seat next to Santana who flashed her an appreciative smile.

Santana picked up her sandwich and took a small bite out of it, letting out a moan of delight.

"This is amazing, Britt!" Brittany giggled and playfully bumped Santana's shoulder with her own. "No, I'm being serious. This is the best food I've ever tasted."

"Santana," Brittany rolled her eyes. "It's a grilled cheese sandwich."

"So?"

Brittany shook her head in amusement but didn't say anything. She was happy that Santana seemed a little happier than before. They continued to eat in a comfortable silence, both just simply enjoying each other's company. When they were finished, Santana went to stand up but Brittany stopped her by placing her hand on her arm.

"You've got a little…" Brittany trailed off and pointed to the corner of her own mouth.

Santana settled back in her seat and smirked at Brittany.

"What?" She looked at her, tilting her head slightly.

Brittany smiled and leaned in, kissing her softly. Santana felt Brittany's soft tongue slip over the spot on her lip she had pointed at earlier and she laughed into her mouth, making Brittany smile into the kiss. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

* * *

"Thank you." Santana said as she crawled into bed a while later, snuggling up against Brittany.

Brittany wrapped her arms around the brunette and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "For what?"

"For tonight." Santana explained as she started to place soft kisses down Brittany's neck, pausing at her pulse point and nipping lightly on the sensitive skin. "You always know how to cheer me up."

"Hmm." Brittany hummed distractedly, craning her neck to give Santana more access. "There's no need to thank me. You know I'm always here for you." Instead of replying, Santana rolled further on top of her and slowly ran her hand down her clothed stomach. Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered shut and she let out a soft, "San."

Santana smiled and lifted her head to capture Brittany's lips with her own, kissing her with passion. She trailed her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip before sliding it inside, causing Brittany to whimper softly into her mouth. Brittany slid her hand up the back of Santana's neck and tangled her fingers into her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss even more. Santana moaned as she explored the familiar warmth of her girlfriend's mouth, feeling a jolt of arousal surge through her body.

She bit down on Brittany's bottom lip and sucked on it, earning a whimper from Brittany who rested her hands just below Santana's ribs. Santana slowly slipped her hand under Brittany's shirt and lightly ran her fingers over the bumpy texture of her skin, feeling Brittany's muscles jerk and react to her touch. Brittany tensed when Santana placed her hand on her thigh and a sudden wave of panic hit her when she realized where this was going.

"San," She mumbled, trying to catch the attention of her girlfriend who was now placing kisses along her jawline. When Santana didn't respond, she grabbed the brunette's wrist and pushed her hand off her thigh. "Santana stop."

Santana's head immediately shot up at this and she looked at Brittany in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Let's just go to sleep." Brittany said softly, looking away from her and staring at the wall instead.

Santana sighed sadly when she realized what was happening and placed her hand on Brittany's cheek that was now colored red from embarrassment. "Britt..." Brittany bit her lip and stubbornly kept her eyes focused on the wall.

"Okay." Santana mumbled unhappily. "It's alright if you can't look at me but please listen. You don't ever have to hide from me, Britt. I've already seen you and I'm still here. Do you know why that is?" She questioned, smiling softly when Brittany's eyes hesitantly met hers. "It's because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I know that you don't believe me when I say that but it's true."

Brittany looked away again and started to squirm underneath Santana's weight. "Please get off me."

Santana sighed and rolled off her, landing on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know what I have to do to make you believe me, Brittany."

"I…" Brittany started, searching for the right words. "I do believe you, San. Only because I know that you wouldn't lie to me." Santana frowned and glanced at Brittany sideways, patiently waiting for her to explain. Brittany was silent for a long time and then suddenly rolled over onto her side so that her back was turned to Santana. "It's me who I'm hiding from. I don't want to see myself when I look like this."

Brittany's words broke Santana's heart in pieces. She could literally feel it shatter in her chest. It took a moment for her brain to start working again and she rolled over onto her side as well, wrapping her arms around Brittany tightly. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to form words but nothing seemed right, her mouth moving soundlessly. Brittany sighed heavily and grabbed Santana's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I love you, Santana."

Santana was glad that Brittany couldn't see her face because this gave her the chance to quickly wipe away the lone tear that had escaped her eye. She pressed a soft kiss behind Brittany's ear and softly whispered, "I love you too, Brittany."

* * *

"Britt, wake up."

"Hm, what time is it?" Brittany asked groggily.

"Time to get up." Santana said, pressing a kiss to her temple before climbing out of bed. She stretched a little before grabbing a sweater and pulling it over her head. "You take a shower and I'll fix you some breakfast."

"But…" Brittany started to say something but Santana cut her off.

"No protests." She said firmly as she walked over to Brittany who was now sitting on the edge of the bed and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I'm making my girl breakfast. Now go and get your butt in the shower."

Brittany tried to glare at Santana but found it impossible with the way she was smiling at her. She sighed and pulled herself into a standing position before slowly dragging herself into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, Brittany was sitting in the kitchen with a plate of half eaten breakfast in front of her. Santana watched Brittany silently as she distractedly pushed the food around her plate. After a while, she couldn't take it anymore and stood up, walking around the table and wrapping her arms around Brittany from behind. "What's up?"

"Everything's fine." Brittany mumbled.

Santana frowned skeptically and placed her hand on Brittany's chest. "Britt, your heart is racing."

Brittany sighed softly and pushed her plate away. "I just have a bad feeling about your trip." Her eyes fluttered shut when Santana started to massage her shoulders, some of the tension instantly leaving her body. "Don't worry, it's probably just in my head."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." Santana replied, unsure of what else to say. "Please promise me that you'll call Noah if you're starting to get anxious and feel like you might panic. I don't want you to be by yourself in case anything happens."

Brittany opened her eyes and shrugged Santana's hands off, picking up her plate and bringing it to the sink. "I can take care of myself, okay?" She said with her back turned to Santana. "I'm sorry that I scared you at my parents' house but there's no need to worry so much."

"I can't help it." Santana admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. "Please just promise me that you'll call Noah, Britt. I know how proud you can be sometimes."

"Fine." Brittany agreed, slight annoyance noticeable in her voice. She disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared with her bag a few moments later. "I have to go to work." She announced as she moved to stand directly in front of Santana who was now seated. "Quinn is dropping you off at the airport, right?"

Santana nodded and placed her hands on Brittany's hips, pulling her closer. Brittany got the message and leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the lips. Pulling away, Santana smiled up at her. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Brittany replied, placing another sweet kiss on her lips, feeling bad about having snapped at her. She truly didn't deserve her. "Please call me when you've landed, okay?"

"I will." Santana reassured her.

Brittany smiled and reluctantly stepped away from her. She quickly put on her coat and picked up her bag before walking towards the door. Glancing over her shoulder, she winked at Santana and blew her a kiss. "Bye, beautiful."

Playing along, Santana caught the kiss and held it closely to her chest. "Bye, babe."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13.**

Brittany sighed as she walked into the back room where each employee had a small locker. It had been a long day and she had spent most of her time worrying about Santana. She checked her phone and to her relief she had a voicemail from her girlfriend informing her that she had landed safely. Brittany quickly called her back and she answered on the first ring.

"Hey!"

"Hi, babe." Brittany replied, happy to hear Santana's voice. "How was your flight?"

"It was good." Santana said through a yawn. "I was squashed between two people but Will probably booked late. I'm a little tired though so I'm relaxing at the hotel right now." She paused for a second before adding, "I miss you already."

Brittany leaned against her locker and smiled softly, even though Santana couldn't see it. "Yeah, me too."

"What are you up to?"

"I just finished my shift and I have dance class later tonight." Brittany told her. "Are you excited for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely. I can't really do any work yet until I've gone to the events so I can't wait." Santana said brightly. Brittany hummed in agreement but didn't say anything. A few seconds of silence passed before Santana spoke again. "So, how are you?"

It was an innocent question but Brittany could hear the seriousness in Santana's voice. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I'm fine, San. I told you not to worry."

"I'm just making sure." Santana said and Brittany could picture her shrugging her shoulders. "I texted Noah, by the way. Just in case you let your pride stand in the way again."

"What?" Brittany asked, annoyance seeping into her voice. "Why would you do that? How did you even get his number?"

"I got it from Tina." Santana told her calmly. "Please don't be mad at me, Britt. I'm just looking out for you."

Brittany realized that Santana meant well but that didn't stop the anger that bubbled up inside of her. "I can't believe you, Santana. I told you that I'll be fine on my own." She paused and shook her head in disbelief, slamming her locker shut in frustration. "Stop treating me like a child!"

"I'm not treating you like a child." Santana argued, raising her voice as well. "I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I can take care of myself." Brittany said, emphasizing each word. For some reason she felt the need to prove to Santana that she could handle things on her own. "I've been taking care of myself for years, Santana. I'm coping perfectly fine without you. I don't need you." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She had been too caught up in her anger to even realize what she had said until her ears were met with silence. "San…"

"Fine." Santana said softly, hurt lacing her voice. "That's good to know."

Before Brittany had the chance to say anything, she heard the annoying beeping tone indicating that Santana had ended the phone call. Brittany let her head fall back against the cold metal of her locker and released a frustrated sigh. She was beyond upset with herself. It had never been her intention to hurt Santana. She took a deep breath before calling Santana's number back, closing her eyes as she tried to think of the right words to say.

"This is the voicemail of Santana Lopez. Leave a message after the beep and maybe I'll call you back."

Brittany sighed and pressed the end button. She really wanted to apologize to Santana but it seemed like Santana needed her space right now. After a long moment of hesitation, she turned around and quickly grabbed her bag before exiting the room. She said goodbye to Marley and left the diner.

* * *

A few hours later, she came home sweaty from dance class and dropped her stuff by the door. She quickly fished her phone out of her pocket but was disappointed to see that she had no messages or missed calls from Santana. She scrolled through her contacts and called Santana's number. It went straight to voicemail. Panic squeezed her heart and her hands started to shake slightly.

"Santana is fine." She muttered to herself, squeezing her eyes shut. "She's just mad at you."

She opened her eyes and walked over to the sink in the kitchen. Setting her phone aside, she opened the tap and cupped some water into her hands, splashing it onto her face. She took a few deep breaths and was relieved when her panic slowly began to subside. She stood there for another moment and then made her way into the bathroom to take a quick shower before bed.

* * *

Brittany woke up to the loud sound of her alarm going off. She quickly grabbed her phone but there were still no messages from Santana. She sighed and got out of bed to get ready for work. Santana had been in L.A. for two days now and was supposed to come back today.

She still hadn't replied to any of Brittany's messages and Brittany had never felt so guilty in her life. Her appetite was lacking so she decided to skip breakfast. On her way to Joey's, she checked her phone again but was once again disappointed.

The next hours passed slowly. Brittany watched the minutes pass on the clock, willing time to speed up. She couldn't concentrate on work. All her focus was on Santana who was still ignoring her. She kept replaying their phone call in her head, getting madder at herself each time. She hadn't meant what she'd said and she wished that she could take it back.

Lunch break came around and Brittany walked to her locker to retrieve her phone. Biting her lip, she hesitated for a moment before scrolling through her contacts and stopping at Quinn's name. Santana had given Quinn's number to her in case of an emergency. She felt guilt overwhelm her again being reminded of her girlfriend's sweetness. She had been nothing but kind to her and Brittany had treated her badly.

She took a deep breath and pressed the call button.

"Hello?"

"Have you heard from Santana?" Brittany rushed out.

There was a pause before Quinn's confused voice sounded again, "Who is this?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "It's Brittany. I got your number from Santana."

"Oh, I see. To answer your question, no I haven't heard from Santana yet. She is supposed to call me when she has landed since it's only a ten minute drive to the airport anyway so I can come pick her up. I guess her flight is delayed. Why?"

Brittany felt her heart rate speed up. "I tried calling her but she isn't picking up and I'm worried."

"I'm sure she's fine." Quinn said after a pause. "I'll try calling her in a little while and then I'll call you back, okay?"

"Thank you."

Brittany ended the call and shoved her phone back into her bag. She closed her locker and rested her forehead against the door. Her hands were shaking and she could feel tears forming in her eyes. This couldn't be happening. Not again. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her breathing. In and out.

"Brittany?" A familiar voice startled her. She turned around to face Marley who was watching her with concern in her eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Brittany said softly, her voice sounding shaky and weak. Marley narrowed her eyes, disbelief evident on her face, and took a step closer to her. Brittany inhaled deeply, focusing on expanding her lungs and taking in as much oxygen as she could. Finally, she spoke again. "No, I don't think I am."

"What's wrong?"

"Santana was supposed to be back from L.A. already but she's not." Brittany explained. "She's not answering her phone and I'm really worried."

"Well, you shouldn't worry too much. Her flight is probably just delayed." Marley tried to reassure Brittany but it seemingly wasn't working. She placed her hand on Brittany's arm and could feel the limb tremble under her touch. "You don't look well, Britt. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? I can cover your shift."

Brittany wanted to protest but didn't have the energy to do so. "Are you sure?"

Marley nodded. "Go home. Try not to stress yourself out too much."

Brittany thanked her and leaned in to give her a quick hug. After they parted, Brittany removed her apron and opened her locker to grab her stuff. She slipped on her coat and shoved her shaking hands into her pockets as she made her way outside. When she finally arrived home a little while later, she slumped down on the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. Being ignored was the worst feeling in the world.

Her phone started vibrating in her hand and she quickly answered it.

"And?" She asked before Quinn had the chance to say anything. "Have you heard from her yet?"

"No but I checked the weather reports and there have been extreme rainstorms all around California since this morning." Brittany felt her heart drop to her stomach as she listened to Quinn's words. "I called the airport and due to the weather conditions a lot of flights have been cancelled or delayed. I couldn't get any information on Santana's flight because the woman on the phone acted like a complete bitch. I get that it's chaos at the airport right now but that was uncalled for!"

"Oh God." Brittany whimpered, drawing her knees to her chest. "Quinn, what if her flight took off?"

"Don't think like that, Brittany." Quinn told her. "We would've been informed already if that was the case. Just try to stay calm and I'll call you if I hear anything else, okay?"

"Thanks, Quinn."

Brittany ended the call and wrapped her arms around her knees, still clutching her phone in one of her shaking hands. The stress was becoming too much and she could feel herself begin to panic. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to try and steady her breathing and focus on something other than the panic racing through her veins.

It wasn't working.

Her chest was beginning to feel tight and her palms were sweating. She kept hearing Santana's voice in her head. Her girlfriend had sounded so hurt and knowing that she had been the one to cause her that pain made her feel like the worst person in the world.

Brittany's heart pounded an uneasy, rapid rhythm in her chest as her panic increased. She forced her heavy eyelids open and shakily dialed the familiar number of her best friend before pressing the phone to her ear.

"Yo Britt!"

Brittany tried to speak but no words came out.

"Britt? You there?" Noah sounded more alert now.

"Can you come over?" Brittany asked shakily.

"Of course." Noah said and Brittany heard some shuffling. "I'll be there in 5 minutes."

True to his word, Noah walked into her apartment a few minutes later, using his own key. He rushed to Brittany's side, his eyes glimmering with concern, and quickly pulled her into a hug. "What happened?"

Brittany's eyes were unfocused; as if she was seeing through him.

"Britt? Talk to me."

Brittany's breathing slowly returned to normal as she felt herself returning to reality. She gripped Noah's wrist and looked at him with pleading eyes. "Santana…"

"Santana?" Noah repeated questioningly, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "Where is she? Wasn't she supposed to get back today?"

Brittany frantically nodded her head. "There are storms all over California so there's complete chaos at LAX. Santana was supposed to call Quinn after she had landed but she never did and now she's not answering her phone and I'm scared!"

"Okay, calm down." Noah said, rubbing her back. "She's probably stuck at LAX because her flight has been cancelled."

"But why isn't she answering her phone? I can't calm down when my girlfriend is missing!"

"You need to be strong right now, Brittany. Don't work yourself up like this because I don't want you to have a panic attack." Noah told her firmly.

She sighed and nodded once, guiltily glancing away. She hated making people worry about her. That's why she had agreed to see a therapist. Noah had been beyond happy when she had told him about her first session.

"Why don't you have shower, get dressed in some comfy clothes, while I fix you something to eat?"

Brittany shook her head. "I have to be here in case Quinn calls."

"I can answer your phone." Noah said, gently prying Brittany's phone out of her hand. "I'll also try to call the airport again to see if there's any news, deal?"

"Deal." Brittany reluctantly agreed.

Ten minutes later, she walked back into the room looking a lot more freshened up than before. She was dressed in a pair of sweatpants, socks and a sweater that she had once borrowed from Santana.

Noah shot her a warm smile and gestured for her to sit down at the table. Once she was seated, he set a plate of food in front of her. "There you go."

"Thanks." Brittany said softly. "Since when can you cook?"

"Microwaved meals get boring after a while." Noah replied with a shrug as he sat down next to her.

Brittany half smiled and gathered some food onto her fork. "Did you call the airport?"

"Yeah but I didn't get through." Noah sighed, causing Brittany to look up at him with panic quickly returning to her eyes. "The phone lines are probably messed up or something."

"Dammit." Brittany muttered under her breath as she dropped her fork back onto the plate. She propped her elbow up on the table and leaned her forehead into her hand. "I can't just sit around and do nothing. Maybe we should drive to the airport. I'm sure they have more information there."

She went to stand up but Noah stopped her by gently pushing her back down. "Britt, the best thing to do right now is wait. I'm sure that Santana's fine, her phone battery is probably dead. It would've been on the news by now if there had been a plane crash."

Brittany felt a shiver run down her spine at his words. "I'm not hungry anymore, sorry."

"That's okay." Noah said as he grabbed her plate and dumped the contents onto his. "How about we watch a movie to pass the time?"

"Sure." Brittany mumbled half-heartedly.

After Noah had finished eating, they moved to the living room and turned on the TV. Brittany sat down on the couch and waited until Noah had picked out a movie. She rested her head on his shoulder and tried to focus on the people moving on the screen but it wasn't long before her attention wandered off to Santana. She had been so mean to her girlfriend during their last conversation and she would never forgive herself if something had happened to her.

* * *

Noah wasn't sure when they had fallen asleep, all he knew was that he was woken up by the sound of knocking. He carefully unwrapped his arm from Brittany's waist and shifted her so that she was lying flat on her back. When he opened the door, a very concerned looking Tina stormed inside. "Is Britt okay?"

"Hello to you too." Noah said as he closed the door. "And yes, Brittany is fine. She's sleeping. Why?"

"Marley told me that she left work early." Tina explained in a much softer voice. "What's going on and why does no one ever tell me anything?"

Noah sighed and briefly updated Tina on the day's events. By the time he was finished speaking, Tina had grown silent and was merely nodding in understanding.

"Do you really think that Santana is alright?" She finally asked quietly.

Noah nodded. "Like I told Brittany, it would've been reported by now if there had been an accident. Santana's flight was probably cancelled and she's stuck at the airport."

"But why hasn't she called anyone?"

"I'm sure there's a reason for that." Noah replied confidently.

Tina nodded silently. She grabbed the remote and turned on the news. There were weather reports on almost every channel. Apparently some areas in California were even being evacuated because of the rainstorms. Her eyes met Noah and she could see the worry in them. She sighed and took a seat on the arm rest of the couch as Brittany slept restlessly.

Brittany was startled awake a few hours later by her phone ringing. She groaned and answered the call with a groggy, "Hello?"

"Britt?"

Brittany bolted upright with a gasp, earning a confused look from her friends who were apparently still there. "Santana!"

"Oh my god, Britt!" Santana practically sobbed into the phone. "I swear I've been trying to call you all day but the battery of my phone died and it's complete chaos at the airport! Nobody would let me borrow their damn phone and the useless people who work here are running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off so I finally just stole one! I'm so sorry…"

"Baby, breathe." Brittany soothed, tears of relief in her eyes. "I'm so glad to hear your voice! I was so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Santana reassured her. "Luckily, the weather is finally dying down a little so I'm catching the first plane out of here. I promise!'

Brittany sighed and slumped against the couch cushions. "I'm so glad that you're okay, San. I was so scared… I-I thought that…"

"I know, honey. I'm so sorry."

"No, you're not the one who should be apologizing." Brittany sniffled miserably. "Santana, you have no idea how sorry I am about what I said to you. I swear I didn't mean it."

"Let's talk about this when I get home." Santana's voice was so sweet that it only made Brittany feel guiltier. "The guy whose phone I stole just noticed that it's gone and- shit! He's walking in my direction. I have to go, okay? I promise that I'll be home soon."

"Okay. Please be safe."

"I will. Can you please call Quinn for me? Tell her that I'll catch a cab home. I don't know how late I'll be there."

"Of course." Brittany replied as she wiped some of her tears away with her free hand. "God, I was so scared. I don't know what I would've done if…"

"I know, Britt." Santana said softly. "Don't think about that. I'm okay."

Brittany sniffled again. "I love you so much, Santana."

"I love you too, Brittany." Santana said and Brittany closed her eyes. She had never been more happy to hear those words. "I have to go, babe. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, San."

"Bye."

Brittany hung up the phone and released a sigh of relief, wiping at the tears that had escaped her eyes. She took a moment to compose herself before she quickly dialed Quinn's number and informed the blonde on what had happened. When she ended the call, she put her phone away and looked at her friends who were staring at her in expectancy.

"Santana is okay."

They both sighed in relief and Noah walked over to her to give her a quick hug. It was already late at night so Brittany told them that they should go home and get some sleep. When she made her way into her bedroom a little while later, she curled up under the covers with a pillow clutched to her chest, staring at the clock on the bedside table and waiting as the minutes slowly passed.

Brittany lay awake for hours until sleep finally overcame her.

* * *

Santana called her the next morning to let her know that she had landed safely. When Brittany asked her if she could see her, Santana told her that she was going home to get some sleep first. Her voice sounded tired and strained and Brittany realized that she was probably still upset with her. Brittany understood and Santana promised that she'd come over later during the day.

When there was a knock on Brittany's door a few hours later, she almost stumbled over her own feet in her rush to get there. As soon as she came face to face with Santana, she threw her arms around the shorter girl and pulled her into a tight hug. She felt Santana wrap her arms around her waist and she sighed happily, pressing a kiss to Santana's neck and inhaling her scent.

"I'm so, so glad that you're okay." Brittany whispered.

Santana tightened her arms around Brittany's waist but didn't say anything. They pulled away and blue eyes met brown ones. Brittany noticed that Santana looked tired and she frowned in concern, gently brushing some strands of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "You look exhausted, San. You took a nap, right?"

Santana nodded. "It's just been a long few days."

Brittany pouted in sympathy and gestured for Santana to come inside. They made their way over to the couch and sat down next to each other. Brittany felt her heart drop when she saw that Santana still had her coat on. That probably meant that she wasn't planning on staying long. She sighed and nervously fiddled with her hands.

"So…" Brittany trailed off, not quite sure of what to say. Santana just looked at her expectantly and she cleared her throat before trying again, "I'm sorry for what I said, Santana. I didn't mean it. I was just scared but too proud to admit it and I took it out on you. I know it's not an excuse but I hope you can forgive me."

Santana pursed her lips in thought before she spoke. "You really hurt me when you said that, Britt. I was just trying to help."

"I know." Brittany said softly, guiltily glancing down at her hands. "It was never my intention to hurt you but I did and for that I'm sorry. The truth is that I do need you, more than you'll ever know. You've been so kind and patient with me, and I'm truly so grateful to have you. I love you, Santana." She hesitantly lifted her head to meet Santana's eyes. "Do you still love me?"

Santana rolled her eyes and moved closer to Brittany until their thighs were touching. "Of course I still love you, Britt. That's not going to change because of one hurtful comment."

Brittany brought her hand to Santana's cheek and gently stroked her thumb over the soft skin as she leaned in to bring their lips together in a sweet kiss. "I was stupid." She mumbled before pressing another light kiss to Santana's lips. "And I'm sorry." She kissed Santana's nose this time and Santana smiled a bit. Brittany grinned. "There's the smile I love."

Santana turned her head to press her lips against Brittany's warm palm. "I forgive you but I'm still mad at you."

"I know." Brittany mumbled, lowering her head.

Santana's features softened. "I owe you an apology too."

"You do?" Brittany asked in surprise, hesitantly meeting her eyes.

"I shouldn't have ignored you." Santana began, placing her hand on the blonde's thigh. "That was an immature thing to do and I'm sorry. I was just being stubborn as always. It won't happen again."

Brittany nodded in understanding. She brushed some hair away from Santana's face and connected their lips again, this time deepening the kiss. Santana felt Brittany's tongue slide over hers and immediately melted into the touch with a groan, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist and closing her eyes. Brittany detached her lips from Santana's and pulled her closer so that there wasn't any space left between their bodies. She placed soft kisses down Santana's jawline and nipped lightly on her neck before speaking softly into her ear, "Please don't leave."

"Who says I'm leaving?" Santana asked, running her fingers through Brittany's hair.

"You're still wearing your coat." Brittany pointed out.

"Oh." Santana mumbled, pulling away and slipping the item of clothing off her shoulders. "Better?"

Brittany nodded and gave her another peck on the lips before slightly pulling away. Santana sighed in contentment when Brittany gently started to massage her shoulders and she shifted her body in an attempt to get more comfortable.

"Come here." Brittany directed Santana to sit between her legs as she leaned back against the arm of the couch, giving her better access to her back. "Is this okay?"

"It's perfect." Santana said with her eyes closed.

Brittany smiled and worked carefully on loosening the knots in Santana's muscles for a few minutes until she was heavily leaning back against her, completely relaxed. She pressed a kiss to Santana's temple and slowly started to comb her fingers through her dark locks.

Brittany realized that Santana must've been more tired than she had thought because the brunette was fast asleep in a matter of seconds. She slipped out from underneath Santana and gently picked her up bridal style, careful not to wake her up, before carrying her into the bedroom and laying her down on the bed. Luckily, she was wearing comfortable clothes so Brittany didn't have to change her into something else. Brittany spooned Santana from behind and pulled the covers over them. She sighed happily and nuzzled her nose in Santana's hair.

Santana stirred and turned around in her arms. She tucked her head under Brittany's chin, buried her face in the curve of her neck and placed a soft kiss on pale skin. "Did everything go okay while I was gone?" She asked quietly.

Brittany knew what she was referring to. "Yeah, I called Noah and he came over." She said, feeling a little embarrassed. "I almost panicked but he calmed me down."

Santana smiled softly. "I'm proud of you."

"Why? I needed someone to take care of me, again." Brittany murmured bitterly, averting her eyes away from Santana's.

"Britt," Santana whispered, pulling back slightly to look at her. "There's nothing wrong with needing help sometimes. You can't do everything alone, no matter how strong you are."

She waited for Brittany to nod before cuddling into the blonde's chest again. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I want to hear all about your trip." She told her girlfriend. Santana opened her mouth to speak but yawned instead. Brittany let out a soft laugh. "But it can wait until later."

"'Kay." Santana mumbled adorably.

Brittany smiled. "I can't believe you stole someone's phone."

"I had to reach you somehow." Santana said groggily, looking at her through sleepy eyes. "I gave it back to him."

Brittany laughed softly and shook her head in amusement. "Go to sleep, babe."

Santana nodded and closed her eyes, shifting to get comfortable in Brittany's warm embrace. It wasn't long before they both drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14.**

Santana squinted her eyes against the sun as she leaned against her car. Brittany had been attending her therapy sessions faithfully for a while now and Santana was coming to pick her up. She smiled when she caught sight of Brittany and lifted her hand in a wave.

When Brittany reached her, the blonde greeted her with a chaste kiss on the lips. "Hi."

"Hey, babe." Santana replied as she held the door open and waited until Brittany had slid into the passenger seat. She walked around the car and took a seat behind the wheel. "How did it go?"

"Fine." Brittany said simply. She never shared much about her sessions and Santana didn't want to push her. "Where do you want to go get lunch?"

"I know a place." Santana said as she started the car.

A little while later, they walked into a small seafood restaurant where they asked for a table for two. The hostess smiled at them and grabbed two menus from a stack, motioning for them to follow. She led them to a secluded booth in the corner where they sat down and handed them their menus. "A waiter will be right with you."

The hostess walked away and Brittany opened her menu. "Let's see…"

"You can order whatever you want, Britt." Santana said with a small smile. "I'm paying. No protests."

Brittany pursed her lips and scanned the menu again. "Even shrimp?"

Santana looked at her in amusement. "Yes."

After they had ordered their food and made small talk for a bit, Brittany steered the conversation to a more serious topic.

"I heard that they're holding auditions for a dance part in a musical." Santana perked up at this and she nodded, silently asking her to continue. "It's a small production in a theater that barely holds two hundred guests but it's something."

"Are you going to audition?" Santana asked.

Brittany took a sip from her water before answering. "I don't know. I want to but there will probably be a lot of other dancers that are way better than me."

"Don't be so quick to put yourself down. You have as much chance to get the part as everyone else." Santana said. "And even if you don't get it, you can at least say that you tried and it'll be a new learning experience."

Brittany nodded. "You're right. It's just that I haven't auditioned for anything since the accident and I don't want to mess it up."

"I understand." Santana said sympathetically. "But you've been working so hard these last couple of months. I believe in you. You're an amazing dancer and anyone who disagrees is just wrong."

Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks, San."

Santana reached across the table and squeezed Brittany's hand. "When is the audition?"

"Next Friday." Brittany informed her, feeling her nerves kick back in. "I'll have to ask Joey for a day off."

"I'm sure that'll be fine." Santana assured her.

"Yeah, Joey is pretty awesome." Brittany smiled briefly but then turned serious again. "I'll probably won't get to see you much this week because I'll need all my free time to prepare for the audition."

"That's alright." Santana shrugged. "I'll miss you but it'll be worth it."

They spent the rest of lunch discussing other things before Santana smoothly handed her credit card to the waiter, but not without having to reassure Brittany again. Brittany was still pouting a bit when they left the restaurant. Santana smiled at her and took her hand as they began to walk back towards the car.

They pulled up in front of Brittany's apartment complex a few minutes later and Santana leaned over to press a light kiss to Brittany's lips. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay." Brittany smiled before capturing Santana's lips with her own again. She grabbed Santana's coat and pulled her even closer to deepen the kiss. After they pulled away, Brittany smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "Thanks for lunch."

"You're welcome." Santana said softly. "I'll see you Friday then? After your audition."

Brittany nodded happily and pecked her on the lips once more before she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled brightly. "Bye, beautiful."

Santana returned the smile and watched as Brittany made her way towards the building. Once she was safely inside, Santana pulled out of the parking space and began to drive home.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by and before Brittany knew it, it was the day of her audition. She was so nervous that it felt like she could pass out at any moment. Santana had sent her a sweet text message earlier that had managed to calm her down a little bit but now that she was standing outside of the building where the auditions would take place, her nerves returned in full force.

She took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. There was a woman sitting behind the front desk who made her fill out some forms. She was then directed to a waiting area where other dancers had already gathered. Brittany awkwardly looked around before she took a seat on the floor in the corner of the room and started to stretch her muscles.

A while later, a man entered the room. "Good morning everyone. My name is Mr. Young and I'm in charge of the auditions today." He continued to inform them on some other things about the musical until he clasped his hands together. "Alright, who's first?"

As the auditions began, Brittany returned to her spot in the corner. The more names were called, the more nervous Brittany was beginning to feel. After a while she couldn't take in anymore and started to pace back and forth, unable to stay still. She nervously twisted her fingers together. It felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Her legs were shaking, her stomach was turning and her head was spinning.

Her name was suddenly called out and her eyes widened. Brittany took a deep breath and slowly walked on stage. Her hands were sweating and her heartbeat was so loud that she could hear it in her ears. Mr. Young spoke some words from where he was sitting in the audience together with his assistant but Brittany was barely able to hear him. She blinked but the lights were far too bright and her throat felt rough.

The music that she had picked out suddenly started to play. She tried to remember her steps but her mind was completely blank and her feet remained planted firmly on the floor. Her eyes frantically darted around as she tried to get her body to cooperate. Mr. Young looked at her curiously and she suddenly felt embarrassment and shame coloring her face.

She swallowed and let out a shaky breath before squeaking out a small, "I'm sorry."

She then spun around on her heels and darted out the door. The tears that she had desperately been holding in spilled down her cheeks as soon as she was standing outside the building. She took a deep breath to steady herself. Her head was pounding with such intensity that it was hard to keep her eyes open. She had never been so angry with herself. This had been her chance and she had messed it up.

Brittany didn't know how much time had passed before she finally began to walk home.

* * *

Santana headed straight to Brittany's apartment when she left work that day. She couldn't wait to hear all about Brittany's audition. She was proud of her girlfriend no matter what. It was a huge step for Brittany to even consider dancing for a living again. When she knocked on Brittany's door, it took Brittany longer to answer than usual.

"Hi." Brittany greeted her timidly, stepping aside so that Santana could enter.

Santana's smile faltered. She closed the door behind her and stepped forward to take Brittany into her arms. She felt Brittany tense up for a second before she hugged her back. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek. "How was your audition?"

Santana felt Brittany's muscles tense up again before she abruptly pulled away. "It…" She trailed off and shook her head. "I wasn't… I didn't get the part."

"Oh." Santana breathed out. Brittany sighed and started to walk towards the kitchen. It took a moment for Santana's mind to catch up and she quickly followed her girlfriend who had started to rinse out some glasses. "Britt, what did they tell you exactly?"

"Does it matter?" Brittany asked, her shoulders drooping dejectedly. "I wasn't good enough and got rejected."

Santana bit her lip and moved closer to Brittany, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest. "Please don't give up, baby." She said softly. "This isn't the end of the world. There will be more auditions and opportunities. Promise me that you'll keep trying."

"Yeah." Brittany mumbled, distracted.

Santana grabbed one of Brittany's hand to still her movements and gave it a gentle squeeze until Brittany turned towards her. She gazed into her eyes for a moment. "I'm serious, Brittany. Promise me."

Brittany hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "I promise."

Santana looked at her for a little while longer and then leaned in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. Brittany kissed her back but something felt off, as if her mind was somewhere else. Pulling back, Brittany gave her a small smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Before Santana had the chance to say anything, Brittany was already pushing her out of the kitchen. "Go have a seat, San. I'll make us something to eat."

Santana mumbled some words of protest but complied anyway.

A little while later, Brittany carried two plates of food into the living room. She set them down on the coffee table and sat down next to Santana who smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetie." Brittany returned the smile as she picked up her fork. "I know I'm not much of a cook compared to you but I hope you'll like it."

"My mom taught me a lot of recipes so I can't take too much credit." Santana told her with a shrug.

Brittany hesitated for a moment, not wanting to upset Santana, before asking, "Were you and your mom close when you were younger?"

Santana nodded slowly. "My dad often worked long hours so it was just the two of us most of the time."

"Have you considered talking to her again? Maybe she just…" Brittany trailed off when Santana's face darkened. She instantly realized that she had crossed a line.

"Yeah because things went _fantastic_ when I last spoke with her." Santana muttered sarcastically, pushing her food around her plate. "Let's change the subject. I don't want to talk about this."

"You never want to talk about this." Brittany said quietly.

"No, I don't." Santana snapped angrily, turning her head to glare at Brittany. "My parents aren't part of my life anymore and I intend on keeping it that way. Jesus Christ, Brittany, stop pushing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about. You of all people should understand what that's like!"

Brittany swallowed the lump in her suddenly dry throat and glanced down at her hands. "I'm sorry."

Santana's demeanor softened at the sound of Brittany's small voice. She sighed and dropped her fork on her plate, scooting closer to Brittany and placing her hand on the blonde's lower back.

"No, I'm sorry." She said softly. "I know that you just want to help. It's just that talking or even thinking about my parents really upsets me and I don't want ruin our night."

Brittany wanted to say something else but eventually came to the conclusion that it was best to let it go for now. "I understand."

* * *

Tying her hair into a messy ponytail, Santana walked into the bedroom where Brittany was already lying in bed. Santana crawled under the covers and rolled onto her side, slipping an arm around her girlfriend's waist. Brittany tore her eyes away from the ceiling and looked at her. "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed with a small smile, toying with the hem of Brittany's shirt. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important." Brittany said softly.

Santana nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose and then placed a kiss on the same spot. "Tell me."

Brittany sighed and glanced away from her. "Just about today."

"Your audition?" Santana guessed.

Brittany nodded.

"What happened, honey?" Santana asked gently, propping herself up on one elbow so that her face was hovering over Brittany's. "Is there something that you're not telling me?"

Brittany's teeth found her bottom lip and chewed at it subtly to try and stop the quivering. Her eyes flickered away from Santana's face, unable to look into her girlfriend's brown orbs as she whispered a simple, "No."

"Are you sure?" Santana asked.

She saw a flicker of hesitation cross Brittany's face before she nodded once. "Yes."

"Okay." Santana said, even though she wasn't entirely convinced.

Before she had the chance to say anything else, Brittany's hands were cupping her cheeks and she was pulled into a kiss. She sighed into Brittany's mouth and threaded her fingers into Brittany's long, soft hair. Brittany slowly dragged her tongue along Santana's bottom lip and Santana moaned, happily granting her entrance. The tip of Brittany's tongue grazed hers and she felt that familiar spark. They both groaned as their tongues continued to move together passionately, their breathing becoming heavier, their legs tangling together.

Brittany let her hands roam all over Santana's body, making her shiver. Brittany's confidence gave Santana the confidence to take the next step. Using her knee, she pushed Brittany's legs open so that her thigh came in contact with the blonde's clothed center. Brittany's breath hitched and she pulled away from Santana's lips, her mouth falling open slightly as her fingers dug into Santana's shoulders.

Santana moved her lips to Brittany's neck and sucked on the pale skin, hard enough to elicit a soft moan of pleasure but not hard enough to leave a mark. She slid her hand under Brittany's shirt and ran it up her stomach, stopping just before she reached her breasts. Santana could feel that Brittany's hands were trembling when she placed them on either side of her head, directing her face up in order to capture her lips in another soft kiss.

Santana applied more pressure with her thigh while her hand traveled down to the waistband of Brittany's sweatpants. That was when Brittany tensed. She caught hold of Santana's hand and broke the kiss. Her girlfriend pulled back and eyed her intently. "Are you okay?"

Brittany closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, Santana."

"Don't be." Santana whispered. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and pulled her down so that the brunette was lying on top of her, wanting to hold her as close as possible. Santana buried her face in Brittany's neck. "It's okay, Britt."

"It's not." Even though it sounded very faint, Santana heard the sob in Brittany's voice and her heart clenched tightly in her chest. She attempted to pull away to look at Brittany but Brittany shook her head and tightened her arms around her waist. She realized that Brittany was definitely crying when she felt the blonde's tears on her skin. "I-I keep disappointing you and it's not fair."

"You're not disappointing me." Santana spoke softly into her ear. Brittany just shook her head again and began to cry a little harder. "Babe, what's going on?"

"I don't want you to leave me." Brittany mumbled brokenly into her shoulder.

Santana's brow furrowed in shock. She gently ran her fingers through Brittany's hair and pressed a kiss to the warm skin of her neck. "Why would you think that?" She asked, her voice wavering slightly as her own emotions got the best of her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Brittany sniffled. "What if you get tired of waiting? We've been dating for months."

"That's not going to happen." Santana said firmly. "I love you and I don't mind waiting. I would never pressure you into doing something you're not ready for."

"I haven't been with anyone since the accident." Brittany admitted quietly. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek in silent reassurance, encouraging her to keep talking. "I want to make love to you, San, but I can't even look at myself without being disgusted. I want our first time together to be perfect. I don't want to zone out halfway through because I have to block out the image of my own body. It wouldn't be fair to you."

Santana exhaled slowly, trying to hold back the tears that were burning in her eyes. "I wish you could see how beautiful you are."

Brittany slowly ran her hand up Santana's back and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I just want to hold you all night." She breathed out. "Can I please just hold you?"

Santana nodded and snuggled even closer to Brittany, resting her head on her chest. Brittany sighed in relief and squeezed her tightly, gently rubbing the area between her shoulder blades. She listened to Santana's steady breathing and it wasn't until she was certain that her girlfriend had drifted off into peaceful sleep that she was able to close her own eyes.

* * *

Brittany let out a yawn as she slowly woke up. She tried to stretch out her arms but realized that she couldn't move. Her lips formed into a smile when she opened her eyes to find Santana still curled around her. The brunette had one arm draped over her waist, her head was resting on her chest and their legs were tangled together. Her breaths tickled Brittany's skin and Brittany could tell that she was still fast asleep.

Brittany brought one hand up to Santana's cheek and gently caressed the soft skin. Santana stirred in her sleep but didn't wake up. Brittany let her fingers lightly trace the outline of Santana's jaw before she stopped to scratch at a sensitive spot just behind Santana's ear. Santana let out a mumble of protest and pressed her face further into Brittany's chest.

"I know you're awake." Brittany smirked, poking Santana's sides, making her squirm.

"Sleep." Santana murmured, rolling off Brittany and onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow.

Brittany rolled over as well and climbed half on top of Santana. She brushed her girlfriend's hair aside and teasingly ghosted her lips over the warm skin of her neck. When Santana showed no signs of responding, Brittany ran her hands down Santana's sides and began to tickle her. Santana squealed and started to wiggle underneath her, trying to escape.

"Britt!" She whined, attempting to hide a smile but failing miserably. "It's too early for this!"

Brittany grinned and finally climbed off her. "Fine, sleepyhead. I'll go make breakfast." She slipped a sweatshirt over her head and started to walk towards the door. "Hopefully you'll show up and if not, I guess I'll have to eat it by myself. Sad and lonely."

Santana groaned and blindly threw a pillow at Brittany that she dodged easily.

Ten minutes later, Brittany was standing by the stove in the kitchen when two arms slipped around her waist from behind. She smiled widely and tilted her head to the side to press a kiss to Santana's cheek. "How nice of you to join me."

Santana, who appeared to still be half-asleep, rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder. "What are you making?"

"Pancakes." Brittany replied. Santana hummed and closed her eyes, leaning heavily against Brittany. The blonde lifted her hand to run her fingers through Santana's messy hair and lightly scraped her nails across her scalp. "You can go back to bed if you're this tired, babe."

"I'm not tired." Santana said as she forced her eyes open, earning an amused look from Brittany. "I agreed to meet up with Quinn later so it was time for me to get up anyway. She's picking me up."

A few minutes later, they were seated at the table with a plate of food in front of them.

Santana took a sip of her orange juice before she broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. "What are your plans for today?"

"I think I'm going to practice my dancing for a bit before I head off to work." Brittany replied softly, glancing down at her plate. She had changed her shifts with one of her co-workers so she would be starting late today.

Santana sensed the change in mood and was silent for a few seconds before asking, "Does this mean that you're not giving up?"

"I promised, didn't I?" Brittany mumbled half-heartedly, not looking up.

Santana didn't know what to say so she decided to remain silent. She couldn't help but think that there was something that Brittany wasn't telling her. She had always been able to read Brittany like an open book and something just didn't feel right. She hoped that Brittany would tell her eventually.

After breakfast, Santana took a quick shower and got dressed. When she walked back into the living room, Brittany was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and a book in her hands. Santana took a moment to admire the sight before she quietly crossed the distance between them. Brittany was so engrossed in her reading that she didn't acknowledge Santana's presence until Santana reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up and smiled before focusing her attention on her book again.

"What are you reading?" Santana asked as she sat down next to her.

"Harry Potter."

"Again?"

Brittany just made a small noise of confirmation and Santana couldn't help but smile. She shuffled a little closer to Brittany until their arms were touching. "I'll just sit here then. Sad and lonely."

Brittany sent her a playful glare and stretched out her legs, patting her thighs. Santana shifted until she was lying down and rested her head on Brittany's lap. Brittany leaned down and kissed the tip of Santana's nose before she resumed her reading. Santana sighed contentedly and closed her eyes as Brittany began to comb her fingers through her hair so soothingly that she felt herself begin to drift off almost instantly.

"How late is Quinn coming to pick you up?" Brittany's voice pulled her back into reality.

Santana blinked a few times and glanced at the clock, groaning when she saw the time. "Any minute now."

Not long after, there was a knock on the door and Santana reluctantly pulled herself upright.

She got to her feet and quickly walked to the door. "Hey, Q." She said when she came face to face with her best friend. "Come on in, I still have to put on my shoes."

Quinn rolled her eyes and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She smiled at Brittany who looked up from her book. "Hey, Britt. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Brittany returned the smile. "And you?"

"Me too. Santana told me that you had an audition yesterday, how did it go?"

Brittany's face fell and she looked away. "I didn't get the part."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"There will be plenty of other opportunities." Santana said as she quickly tied the laces of her black Converses. "Britt's an amazing dancer and I'm sure that she'll eventually find something that'll work out. I guess this just wasn't meant to be."

Brittany kept her head lowered and nervously chewed on her bottom lip as Santana continued to brag about her dance skills. She didn't want to tell Santana that she hadn't auditioned because she had frozen out of fear. She wouldn't be able to handle the disappointed look on her girlfriend's face.

Embarrassment overwhelmed her once more.

"Well, we'll be heading out then." Santana's voice snapped Brittany out of thoughts. The brunette walked over to her girlfriend and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Brittany smiled up at her. "Bye Quinn!"

"Bye Brittany."

Once the two had left, Brittany continued to read her book for a little while longer before she put it away and made her way into the bedroom to change into some work-out clothes. She didn't really feel like dancing right now but she was determined not to let Santana down even more.

* * *

Brittany tied an apron around her waist and brushed her hair behind her ears. As always on Saturday nights, it was busy in the diner. She tidied up the counter with a rag and then grabbed a notepad to begin taking up orders. She was already exhausted and her shift hadn't even really started yet.

In the next couple of hours, things were pretty chaotic so Brittany was beyond relieved when things finally quieted down a little. She leaned heavily against the counter as she drank some water. Time seemed to pass slower and slower each day she worked at the diner.

Sometimes she was just so tired of doing to same thing over and over again.

"Earth to Brittany." Tina waved a hand in her face. Brittany blinked slowly and shot her a confused look. "I was asking you about yesterday."

"What about it?" Brittany asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"How did your audition go?"

Brittany sighed in frustration and turned her head away. She really wished that she hadn't told so many people about her audition. "Not good." She mumbled, rearranging some salt shakers. "I wasn't the one they picked."

"Why not?"

"Can everyone stop asking me about my damn audition?" Brittany snapped before she could stop herself. "There were people who were better than me so I didn't get the part. Why is that so hard to understand?"

Tina didn't even bat an eye at Brittany's harsh tone. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and studied her friend's features intently.

"Are you going to tell me what really happened?" She finally asked. Brittany opened her mouth to protest but Tina didn't give her the chance. "I know you, Britt. I can tell when you're hiding something."

Brittany licked her lips and tried to speak in a steady voice. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Britt." Tina coaxed, lightly nudging Brittany's shoulder with her own. "It's just me you're talking to. Tell me what happened." A long moment of silence passed and Tina sighed. "Britt…"

"I froze." Brittany's voice was so soft that Tina wouldn't have heard it if she hadn't been paying close attention. "I walked out on stage and I don't know what happened but I couldn't do it. Everything hit me at once and I guess that I was overwhelmed or something. I sprinted out the door before I even did one dance step."

Tina took a step closer to her and tried to catch her gaze. "Now why was that so hard to admit?"

"It's embarrassing!" Brittany exclaimed, pulling a face. "I just stood there gaping at the judges like an idiot. I felt so stupid afterwards."

"Britt, things like that happen." Tina said softly. Brittany just scoffed and shook her head. "It's been two years since you've last auditioned for anything and it obviously brought back a lot of memories. It's completely understandable that you got overwhelmed. It's nothing to feel embarrassed about."

"I just didn't want to disappoint anyone."

"Santana?"

"Yeah." Brittany sighed. "I haven't told her."

"You should." Tina said simply. "She would understand."

Brittany bit her lip. "I guess."

When Brittany's shift came to an end, it was already late at night and she figured that Santana would be asleep by now. She sent her girlfriend a good night text and started to make her way home. She was so tired that she fell asleep the second her head hit her pillow.

* * *

Brittany had been acting distant for the last couple of days. She had been quiet and lost in thought, nothing like her usual self. Every time Santana tried to talk to her, Brittany would tell her that she was fine but Santana knew that she wasn't. There was obviously something bothering the blonde and Santana was going to find out what that was.

It was late at night when Santana arrived at Brittany's apartment. She knew that Brittany would be home from work by now. After a short moment of hesitation, she knocked on the door and heard approaching footsteps a few seconds later.

"San?" Brittany sounded surprised to see her there. "Did I forget that you were coming over?"

"Can I come in?" Santana asked, avoiding the question.

"Sure." Brittany said, her eyebrows pinching together in confusion, before she stepped aside to let Santana in. Santana followed Brittany into the living room and watched as she sat down on the couch. "Not that I'm not happy to see you but what are you doing here? It's kind of late."

"What's going on?" Santana asked firmly.

"Nothing. Everything is fi-"

"Don't lie to me, Britt." Santana cut her off, getting a little frustrated. "You're hiding something and I want to know what it is." Brittany guiltily glanced away from her and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Santana's features softened and she walked closer to her. "You've been acting strange since you're audition. Please just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."

"You can't fix it." Brittany mumbled, resting her chin on her knees and staring ahead.

Santana was relieved that Brittany was at least admitting that there was something wrong.

She took a seat next to her girlfriend and placed a hand on her shoulder. "What happened?" She asked softly, looking at the side of Brittany's face intently. "Are you upset about your audition? I told you that there will be plenty of other opportunities. This was only your first try after being out of it for years."

"I messed up." Brittany said in a monotone voice.

"I'm sure that you were great." Santana tried to console her. "There were just other dancers who were better candidates for the part. That doesn't me-"

"I didn't audition." Brittany was the one to cut off Santana this time, words spilling out of her mouth before she had the chance to stop them. "I froze and ran off stage."

 _Oh._

Santana was silent for a few long moments as she tried to find the right words.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?" She finally asked. Brittany tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and continued to stare ahead with a blank expression on her face. "Britt?"

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me." Brittany admitted quietly, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "You're so smart and talented and I'm just a waitress. I wanted to do something to make you proud but I had to go and fuck it up by acting like an idiot."

"Britt…" Santana whispered, unsure of where to even begin. She wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'm already so proud of you. I've never met anyone who's as strong as you are and I feel so lucky to be your girlfriend. Stop being so hard on yourself."

"I'm just so embarrassed." Brittany mumbled.

"It could've happened to the best of us." Santana said softly. "I know that it sucks but you have to let it go so you can focus on everything that's still to come." Brittany nodded but Santana wasn't entirely convinced. "You do still want to dance, right? I don't want you to feel pressured. I just want you to be happy."

"I do." Brittany assured her, making eye-contact for the first time in what felt like hours.

Santana smiled softly and placed a soft kiss on her lips before asking, "Why didn't you tell me, Britt?"

"It's not as if you ever talk to me about anything." Brittany said, her voice suddenly sounding cold.

Santana sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling slowly. She looked into Brittany's blue orbs and was taken aback by how much exhaustion and even a little anger she saw in them.

"Let's not do this again, Britt." She said softly. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I know that your parents hurt you really badly but I don't know how to be there for you because you refuse to open up to me." Brittany's eyes glazed over with sadness before she shook her head. "It took me a while but I eventually shared all my feelings with you and it hurts that you won't do the same thing. It makes me feel like you don't trust me."

"That's not it, Britt." Santana replied, squeezing the blonde's waist. "I honestly don't know what to tell you."

Brittany pressed her lips into a tight line and nodded slowly. She silently unwrapped Santana's arm from around her and stood up. Santana frowned in confusion and curiously looked up at her. Brittany smiled sadly and leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek.

"I'm going to bed." Santana nodded and went to stand up but Brittany gently placed her hand on her shoulder to keep her in place. "I'll call you in the morning."

Without another word, Brittany turned around and left the room. Santana watched her girlfriend's retreating form with sad eyes. Brittany hadn't seemed angry but the fact that she hadn't invited her to stay over confirmed that she was definitely upset with her. Santana sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. She realized how much it hurt Brittany every time she pushed her away and it made her feel incredibly guilty. There were so many things that she wanted to share with Brittany but she just didn't know how to put her thoughts into words.

She sat there for a few moments longer before she reluctantly left Brittany's apartment.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15.**

Brittany nervously tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as she concentrated on lighting the last candle. She stepped back and viewed her work. The table was set neatly and there were red and white rose petals scattered on the floor. Brittany wondered if maybe she had gone a bit overboard with everything but it was her and Santana's six month anniversary so she wanted tonight to be perfect.

She hadn't brought the subject of Santana's parents up again in the hope that Santana would open up to her on her own but that still hadn't happened yet. It was frustrating but Brittany had decided to let it go for now. She wanted to focus on happier things for the time being.

She was startled out of her thoughts when there was a knock on the door. Breathing in deeply, she scanned the room one last time before turning around to let Santana in.

"Wow." Brittany said in a soft voice when she saw her girlfriend. Santana was wearing a short, black dress that hugged her body perfectly and her hair fell in loose waves over her shoulders. "You look amazing."

"Thanks, Britt." Santana smiled, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist and pulling her in for a soft kiss. When they parted, Brittany took Santana's hand and guided her further inside. She watched anxiously as Santana's eyes took in the sight in front of her. Finally, the brunette turned to face her and pressed another kiss to her lips. "It's beautiful."

"Not too cheesy?"

"I like cheesy." Santana shrugged and kissed her again gently. "And I love you."

"I love you too." Brittany replied with a bright smile. She pulled back a chair for Santana and waited patiently until she was seated before spinning around on her heels, "Let me get the food. I'll be right back."

Brittany returned with the food a minute later and set it down on the table. Santana sent her a warm smile as she sat down across from her. "This looks great. Where did you get the recipe from?"

"I got it off the internet." Brittany said, blushing slightly.

Santana looked down at her plate and took a sip of her wine before picking up her fork. She twirled the pasta around for a moment before she brought it to her mouth to have a taste. Brittany who was watching her silently, gave the meal a try herself and her taste buds immediately alarmed her that something wasn't right.

Santana stilled her chewing and breathed out slowly through her nose. She tried to think of a way to get the food out of mouth but didn't want to hurt Brittany's feelings. Across the table, Brittany coughed and spit out the disgusting tasting stuff into a napkin before grabbing her water and taking a few gulps.

Santana followed her lead and did the same thing. Once she had regained her composure, she poked at the food on her plate and looked at Brittany. "How long did you cook this?"

Brittany's face flushed red in embarrassment. "I did everything the recipe said!"

"I'm pretty sure it's undercooked." Santana said with sympathetic eyes. Brittany's brow furrowed slightly as she stared down at the food with a pout. Santana reached across the table and gently patted her hand. "It's okay, Britt."

"Damn it." Brittany mumbled, getting a surprised look from Santana. She threw her napkin down on the table and drained the remaining contents of her glass before releasing a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry, Santana. I don't know what went wrong. It's not even such a difficult dish."

"Hey, don't worry about it." Santana said in a soft voice. She could see the disappointment clouding Brittany's face and pushed her chair back, patting her lap. "Come here for a moment." Brittany shook her head and narrowed her eyes in protest so Santana tilted her head to the side and pulled her best puppy dog face. "Please?"

Brittany rolled her eyes with a subtle smile tugging at her lips and walked around the table to slide onto Santana's lap. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and looked up into soft, blue eyes.

"Don't be sad, babe." She murmured, raising one hand to brush a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. "We'll just order take-out from that Chinese place you love so much."

Brittany distractedly played with the necklace Santana was wearing for a moment and then replied in a defeated voice, "Okay."

Santana rubbed small circles on Brittany's lower back as she watched her girlfriend silently. Brittany's eyes zoomed in on the candles before she quickly averted them elsewhere. She didn't like the sight of flames. It scared her more than she wanted to admit, especially tonight when she wanted things to be romantic.

Santana reached up and gently stroked her thumb over Brittany's cheek. "Are the candles bothering you?"

Brittany just shrugged but Santana leaned in to blow them out just in case.

" _Honey_." Santana coaxed Brittany to look her in the eyes, her hand lightly caressing her cheek. "We'll order some food and then we'll cuddle up on the couch. What do you say?"

Brittany pursed her lips and then nodded. "Okay, you order while l clean up the kitchen."

About two hours later, they were seated on the couch. Brittany's feet were propped up on the coffee table and Santana was curled into her side, head resting on her shoulder. Brittany took a sip of her wine and let out a happy sigh. It felt nice to just be with Santana, content in the silence. The dinner disaster had already been forgotten about. She could feel Santana's warm breath tickle the skin of her neck and it made her heart flutter.

"Hey, San?" She spoke softly, lazily running her fingers up and down Santana's arm.

Santana looked up and Brittany grinned at her before leaning down to press their lips together in a sweet kiss.

When they pulled away, Brittany stared into chocolate brown eyes that she loved more than anything and said, "Happy six month anniversary. You have no idea how happy you make me."

Santana slipped her hand around the back of Brittany's neck and kissed her again, smiling against the other girl's lips. Brittany hummed into the kiss, opening her mouth just a little more as Santana's tongue darted out to meet hers. Santana slowly broke the kiss and leaned back to study Brittany's slightly flushed face.

"I have a present for you."

Brittany frowned. "But I thought we had agreed on no presents."

"I know but I couldn't help it." Santana admitted with a shrug.

Brittany shot her a look of disapproval and Santana smiled before pressing another quick kiss to her lips. She climbed off the couch to get something from her bag and hurriedly returned to her previous spot, holding out a small box. She watched nervously as Brittany took it from her and slowly opened it. A silver, heart-shaped necklace was revealed and Brittany instantly felt tears well up in her eyes.

Santana's smile faltered and her features twisted in concern. "D-do you not like it?"

"I do!" Brittany quickly reassured her. She cupped Santana's cheek with her free hand and captured her lips in a gentle kiss. "It's beautiful." She whispered after pulling away. "Thank you so much. You're so sweet."

"Yeah, well don't let Quinn know." Santana joked and gently placed Brittany's hair over one shoulder. She then took the necklace out of the box and carefully clipped it around Brittany's neck.

Brittany picked it up and looked at it for a moment, twirling it between her fingers. She looked at Santana and a small pout formed on her lips. "Now I feel bad that I didn't get you anything."

"I already have the best present ever; you." Santana cringed inwardly at how cliché she sounded but the shy smile Brittany gave her made her heart warm up. She leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her girlfriend's lips before whispering, "Happy anniversary."

* * *

"How's Santana?"

Brittany looked up at the sound of Tina's voice and shot her friend a smile. She waited until Tina had taken a seat across from her before she answered the question.

"She's great." She slightly lowered her head to hide the grin that slowly spread across her face. It had been a few weeks since they had celebrated their six month anniversary and things couldn't be better between the two. Well, with the exception of their communication issue but Brittany didn't want to think of that right now. She had herself convinced that Santana would open up eventually. She just needed time. "Everything's amazing."

"You are so in love with her." Tina said, faking a disgusted expression. "Someone hand me a bucket so I can vomit."

"I could say the same about you and Mike." Brittany rolled her eyes in amusement. She picked up her sandwich and took a small bite out of it. "How is he anyway? I haven't seen him in a while."

"He's been incredibly busy." Tina explained. "Whenever he's not teaching classes at his studio, he's helping out in his father's restaurant so he has a lot on his plate."

Brittany nodded in understanding. "Do you ever get to see him?"

"Not as much as I'd like but it just makes every minute I get to spend with him extra special." Tina said with a nonchalant shrug.

Brittany scrunched up her nose. "Now who's making who want to vomit?"

"Why are you talking about vomit?" Marley asked as she walked up to them. She took a seat next to Brittany and looked at them with a playful smile on her face. "The food at Joey's isn't the greatest but it isn't _that_ bad either."

"I heard that!" Sounded Joey's voice from somewhere across the diner.

Brittany chuckled and bumped Marley's shoulder with her own. "Subtle as always, Mar."

"We were talking about love." Tina informed their friend with a dreamy sigh.

Marley's smile faltered slightly. "I see."

Brittany shot her a sympathetic look. She hated how sad Marley had been lately. It was so unlike her that it just felt wrong.

"Are things between you and Zach still the same?" She asked softly. Marley sighed and her face fell. Brittany chewed on her bottom lip for a second and reached out give the brunette's arm a soft squeeze. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it."

"Just remember that we're always here for you." Tina added from across them.

"I really appreciate that." Marley said, sending them a warm smile. She was silent for a second as her expression turned back to a serious one. "To answer your question, yes; things are still the same. It's like I can't do anything right. He complains about everything I do, he constantly checks up on me and completely freaks out if another guy even looks at me."

Brittany picked at her sandwich, distractedly, as she tried to think of something to say. She had never been that good with relationship advice. Luckily, Tina spoke up. "Have you guys talked about this at all?"

Marley smiled a humorless smile. "Talking always ends up in yelling and I'm so tired of that."

"Do you still love him?" Tina asked after a moment of silence.

Marley pursed her lips and stared down at the table, her eyes showing nothing but defeat. "I really thought I did but now I'm not so sure anymore."

More silence followed. Brittany placed a reassuring hand on her friend's shoulder and said the only thing she could think of. "Don't worry, you'll figure it out."

* * *

The rest of the day flew by, which was surprising considering how quiet it was at the diner. Brittany waved goodbye to her co-workers as she made her way outside. The cold night air caused her breath to leave her mouth in small puffs. She shivered and pulled her coat closer around her body before she fished her phone out of her bag and dialed Santana's number. It took a while before Santana's groggy voice sounded.

"Hello?"

"San?" Brittany asked, immediately becoming concerned. "What's wrong? You sound awful."

There was a slight pause before Santana spoke again. "I'm not feeling very well."

"Are you sick?"

"I… I think so." Santana admitted in a small voice.

Brittany's brow furrowed in sympathy and she slowly stopped walking. "Do you want me to come over?" Santana was silent as she contemplated the question. Brittany heard some ruffling of sheets and she realized that her girlfriend was probably lying in bed. When she heard a small, barely audible whimper, Brittany spoke again before Santana had the chance to reply. "That's it. I'm coming over."

"You don't have to, Britt."

"Do you need anything?" Brittany asked, ignoring Santana's protest.

"No, thanks."

"Okay, I'll see you in a few minutes." Brittany said as she turned around and started walking in the other direction. She pressed the phone a little closer to her ear before softly saying, "I love you."

She could hear the smile in Santana's voice when she replied. "I love you too."

A few minutes later, Brittany arrived at Santana's apartment. They had exchanged keys a while ago in case of emergencies so Brittany used her own key to unlock the door.

"Santana?" She called out as her eyes scanned the place. When she received no response, she walked into the bedroom and found Santana curled up in bed, sound asleep. She sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed some hair away from Santana's face before placing a soft kiss on her forehead. "Santana? Wake up, sweetie."

Santana made a noise of protest before her eyelids slowly fluttered open, revealing brown orbs that looked slightly disoriented. "Britt?"

" _Hey_." Brittany said softly as she gently rubbed Santana's arm. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Santana mumbled, slowly rolling onto her back. "I finally stopped throwing up."

She was shivering so Brittany pulled the covers up and gently tucked her in. "How long haven't you been feeling well?"

"My stomach hurt when I woke up this morning. I figured that it were just cramps so I took some Midol." Santana explained softly, humming in contentment as Brittany slowly combed her fingers through her long locks. "I threw up at work so Will sent me home."

"I'm sorry, honey." Brittany murmured, noting her unusually pale face yet flushed cheeks. "Is your stomach the only thing that's hurting?" Santana nodded and closed her eyes, curling into a ball. She looked miserable and it broke Brittany's heart. "Have you eaten anything today?"

"I'm not hungry." Santana croaked out.

"I'll just make you some soup." Brittany said softly. "It'll make you feel better."

When Santana didn't respond, Brittany sighed and pressed another kiss to her forehead before she made her way into the kitchen. She pulled out a can of chicken noodle soup and quickly heated it up.

A few minutes later, she walked back into the bedroom where Santana was dozing off again. She carefully set the tray down on the bedside table. "San? Please try to eat a little bit."

Santana blinked a few times and looked up at Brittany with tired eyes. Brittany gently helped her sit up and brought the bowl of soup closer for her to hold. Santana eyed the food with a frown. "I'm not hungry, Britt. I'm sorry."

"I know, baby." Brittany replied quietly. "Just try to eat a little bit, okay?"

Santana sighed and reluctantly picked up the spoon. She managed to eat a little bit before she set her bowl down. Brittany gave her a warm smile and carried the tray back into the kitchen. When she returned, she kicked off her shoes, borrowed some comfortable clothes from Santana, quickly got changed and brushed her teeth before she crawled into bed next to her girlfriend.

"Try to get some sleep. Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning." She whispered as Santana rested her head on her chest. Santana nodded and cuddled a little closer to her. Brittany pressed a kiss into her hair and held her tightly as she fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

The next morning, Brittany was woken up by the sound of a pained whimper. Her eyes shot open in concern and she propped herself up onto her elbows to see Santana's face. The brunette was curled up into a fetal position, clutching her stomach.

Brittany gently brushed some hair away from her face and leaned in to softly speak into her ear. "San? What's wrong, babe?"

Santana's stomach had continued to bother her all night. She had tried to push through the pain in the hope that it would go away but this morning her cramps were accompanied by a feeling of nausea that was almost unbearable. She forced her eyes open to meet worried blue ones. "I feel like shit."

Brittany pursed her lips in sympathy and ran her hand over Santana's forehead. "You're burning up." She commented softly. "Maybe you should stay home today."

"They're just c-cramps." Santana protested, her voice wavering slightly. "I'll be fine."

Brittany sighed and leaned down to press a kiss to Santana's temple. "I'll go get you some Midol."

She shot Santana another worried look before climbing out of bed and exiting the bedroom. She returned with a glass of water and two pills less than a minute later and sat down on the edge of the bed. Santana groaned as she pulled herself into a seated position and took the glass from Brittany. She swallowed down the pills with a few gulps of water and shot Brittany a small smile, "Thanks."

Brittany returned the smile and took the glass from her, placing it on the bedside table. She glanced at the alarm clock and let out a sigh.

"I have to be at work soon." She told Santana, reaching out to gently stroke the back of her fingers down the side of the brunette's face. "Will you be alright?"

Santana nodded sleepily. "Hmm. I think I'm going to sleep a little longer."

"Quinn will understand if you decide to stay in bed." Brittany replied. "You can always have lunch some other time."

"But our schedules never match up anymore." Santana murmured, burying her face in her pillow. "It feels like ages since we've last hung out together."

"Alright, baby." Brittany sighed in defeat as she brushed some hair behind Santana's ear. "Call me if you need anything."

Santana made a hum of confirmation and Brittany pressed lingering kiss to her forehead before she got off the bed. Santana shivered and pulled the covers tighter around herself. She vaguely heard Brittany move around the room before she fell back asleep.

* * *

A few hours later, Santana was dragging her feet around her apartment. A sharp, stabbing pain in her side made her have to lean against the wall for support every now and then.

There was a knock on the door and Santana frowned in confusion. She slowly made her way across the room, feeling out of breath a lot quicker than usual, and opened the door.

Her heart literally stopped in her chest as all the blood drained from her face. Without thinking twice, Santana slammed the door shut with a surprising amount of force. Her hands started to shake as she stood frozen in shock.

There was another knock on the door followed by the sound of an all too familiar voice. "Don't be ridiculous, Santana. Open the door."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat as she suddenly felt anger bubble up inside. She yanked the door open and looked up at the man in front of her with hard eyes. "What the fuck are you doing here?" She growled.

"That's no way to speak to your father, Santana. If I were you, I'd watch your mouth."

"Or what?" Santana narrowed her eyes at him. "And don't you dare call yourself my father. You lost the privilege of calling me your daughter a long time ago. Now leave and never come back."

"I'm afraid I can't do that." Mr. Lopez said as he pushed his way inside. Santana shook her head in disbelief and watched as he walked around her apartment as if he owned the place. "I don't need you to judge me, Santana. I came here solely to talk to you."

Santana was getting angrier as the conversation went on. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Believe me, I would much rather spend my time doing something else too but I'm doing this for your mother." Carlos said in a calm voice. He picked up a picture frame that held a picture of Santana and Brittany, and tightened his jaw. "Is this your friend?"

"Not that it's any of your business," Santana snapped, storming over to him and ripping the picture frame out of his hands. "This is my _girlfriend._ And by that I don't mean a friend who's a girl. I mean my girlfriend who I'm very much in love with. Now what the fuck do you want?"

"I'm here to tell you that I'm willing to give you another chance."

Santana's jaw dropped in shock. "What?"

"Your mother still talks about you all the time." Carlos went on, ignoring her. "For some reason, she believes that there's still hope for you." He let out a sarcastic laugh and Santana cringed at the sound of it. "After all the pain you've caused our family with your sinful behavior, I find it difficult to even look at you but like I said, I'm here because I'm tired of hearing your mother cry over you night after night."

Santana's anger intensified even more, her skin felt hot and there were tears welling up in her eyes.

"What I'm trying to say is that if you're willing to change, we can begin to re-establish a relationship." Carlos took a step closer to Santana but Santana held her ground. She refused to let her father intimidate her. "If you choose to continue living this disgusting lifestyle, however, this will be the last time you'll ever see me and your mother and I will cut you out of our lives completely."

"Are you being serious right now?" Santana asked him incredulously.

Her father's face turned red as he started to lose his patience. "Think carefully, Santana. This is the last chance we're giving you. I'd take it if I were you."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Santana raised her voice.

"You listen to me good, Santana." Mr. Lopez said in a low voice. "Your father, that's who I am. What I say goes, is that clear?"

"I'm a grown woman. You don't have the right to tell me what to do anymore." Santana told him, her whole body trembling with rage. Her father went to say something else but she held up her hand. "I don't want to hear it. Get the fuck out of my apartment."

Her father's face reddened even further and he took another step closer to Santana. He was now standing so close to her that they were only inches apart. "Ay dios mio, you're even more stupid than I thought." He stared at her for another moment and then roughly pushed past her and out the door.

Santana quickly closed the door and rested her forehead against it. Her heart was beating so fast that it felt like her chest was about to explode. She stood there for a few minutes, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to catch her breath. Her body suddenly felt incredibly weak now that the adrenaline had left her veins and she found herself washed over with a wave of utter exhaustion. She couldn't get a grip on her thoughts and her head was throbbing.

Taking a deep breath, Santana slowly made her way back into her bedroom. She winced as another jolt of pain shot through her body and she crumpled to the ground. Why did it hurt so much? She sat there for a moment, shaking and crying quietly. Her father's words kept echoing in her mind. She wanted to pretend that they didn't bother her but the truth was that they did. More than she could handle. Gathering all her strength, Santana pulled herself upright and managed to collapse down on her bed. Tears were rolling freely down her cheeks as she curled onto her side, hoping that the pain would just go away.

* * *

"What do you mean she didn't show up?" Brittany asked with a furrowed brow, pressing her phone closer to her ear as she paced around the back room. She was on her lunch break right now and had been surprised to see that she had a missed call from Quinn.

"I waited at the restaurant for thirty minutes but there was no sign of her." Quinn explained. "She's not answering her phone either."

Brittany ran a hand through her hair as she gathered her thoughts. "She wasn't feeling that well so maybe she fell asleep? I'm sure that she didn't forget because she talked about having lunch with you this morning."

"Do you want me to stop by and check on her?" Quinn asked.

Brittany chewed on her bottom lip for a second before replying. "No, don't worry. I'm on my lunch break right now so I'll go see if everything's okay."

"Okay. Let me know."

"Of course." Brittany said, disconnecting the call. She quickly exited the back room and walked up to Tina who was standing behind the counter. "I have to do something. I'll be right back."

"Is everything okay?" Tina asked, tilting her head in concern.

"I hope so."

Without giving Tina the chance to reply, Brittany left the diner and started to make her way towards Santana's apartment. When she arrived there, she fumbled with the lock on the door for a moment but was surprised to find it was already unlocked. She quickly walked into the bedroom and was shocked at what she saw. Santana was shaking in bed and clutching her stomach, sweat pouring down on her face.

"Santana!" Brittany cried, rushing to her girlfriend's side. She gently pressed her hand to Santana's forehead and looked at her worriedly. "You're burning up."

"It hurts." Santana whimpered, effectively breaking Brittany's heart. "It hurts so much."

"Okay, it's alright." Brittany murmured, trying to stop herself from panicking. "Do you think you're going to be sick?" She asked gently, noticing that Santana looked even paler than before.

Santana cracked her eyes open and nodded weakly.

"Come on, honey." Brittany coaxed Santana upright before wrapping her arms around the shorter girl. Santana leaned into Brittany's chest and Brittany started to rub her back. "Let's get you to the bathroom."

Brittany slowly guided Santana into the bathroom and they reached the toilet just in time for Santana to fall to her knees in front of it and empty the contents of her stomach.

"Oh San," Brittany said softly as she smoothed Santana's hair back into a ponytail. Santana continued to retch until there was nothing left and began to cry quietly. Brittany got a damp washcloth and gently cleaned off her face. "Shh, it's okay."

"It hurts." Santana whispered, exhausted.

"I know, baby." Brittany soothed, pressing her lips to Santana's forehead. "I'm going to take you to the hospital."

Santana shook her head. "I-I'm fine, Britt. I just need to sleep."

"Please, Santana, you're really sick and I'm worried. We'll be back before you know it." Brittany insisted. When Santana didn't respond, Brittany gently cupped her cheek and looked directly into tired brown eyes. "Where are your car keys?"

Santana blinked slowly. "I don't know."

Brittany sighed before gently helping Santana to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her upright. Santana was leaning heavily against her and Brittany pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Put your arm around my shoulders, baby." She instructed softly.

Santana complied and Brittany slowly started to walk them out the room. To her relief, she spotted Santana's car keys on the table and she quickly grabbed them.

"I've got you, San." She whispered in Santana's ear as they left the apartment.

Brittany struggled to get them into the elevator since she was supporting most of Santana's weight but successfully managed to get them to Santana's car. After buckling Santana in, Brittany walked around the car and took a seat behind the wheel.

She grabbed Santana's hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Don't worry, Santana. You'll be fine."

She shot Santana another concerned look before she started the car and pulled out of the parking space.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16.**

When they arrived at the hospital, Brittany led Santana over to one of the chairs and gently helped her sit down comfortably. She then walked over to the front desk and briefly explained what was going on. The receptionist handed her some forms and a pen. "Go ahead and fill this out. Someone will be with you as soon as possible."

Brittany thanked her and took a seat next to Santana who rested her head on her shoulder. Brittany knew most of the information that was being asked for but there were also some things that she had no idea of. Santana must've sensed her thoughts because she took the forms from Brittany and gave her a weak smile. "I can do it."

Once Santana had finished filling out the forms, Brittany gave them back to the receptionist. Santana was clearly in a lot of pain so Brittany narrowed her eyes at the woman. "How long do you think it's going to take?"

"Someone will be with you as soon as possible." She repeated her earlier words in a monotone voice.

Brittany clenched her jaw and nodded once before she turned around and returned to her previous spot next to Santana. She brushed the hair away from her girlfriend's face and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "How's the pain?"

"Okay." Santana mumbled tiredly, clearly not being truthful. Brittany sighed and wrapped her arm around the brunette's shoulders who curled into her side, trying to absorb her warmth.

Silence fell over them and Brittany felt herself begin to grow restless. She hated hospitals and all the memories that came with them. Being here made her very anxious but Santana needed her right now so she forced herself to stay strong.

It took ages before a nurse finally appeared. "Santana Lopez?"

They followed the nurse into a room where Santana was situated on the bed. The nurse closed the curtains before she went over the forms.

"Ms. Lopez, my name is Lydia." She introduced herself as she looked up. "Can you tell me what happened today?"

Before Santana had the chance to reply, Brittany started to ramble. "She hasn't been feeling well since yesterday. Her stomach has been bothering her and she's been throwing up too. The pain has only been getting worse so I thought it'd be best to take her to the hospital."

"I think that was a very good idea." The nurse said as she took Santana's temperature and scribbled something down. She looked at Santana and asked, "Where exactly is it hurting?"

Santana gestured to her side and Lydia nodded in understanding. "I'm going to press down on your stomach a bit and I want you to tell me where it hurts the most, okay?"

Santana swallowed nervously and gave her a small nod in reply. Brittany held her hand tightly as the nurse pulled up her shirt to expose her stomach. Lydia pressed down on a certain area and Santana cried out in pain, tightening her already death grip on Brittany's hand.

Brittany glared at the nurse. "Stop hurting her!"

"I'm sorry." Lydia apologized as she pulled Santana's shirt back down. "I'm going to get a doctor."

A few minutes passed before a doctor appeared who introduced himself as Dr. Williams. He asked Santana a few questions and pressed around on her stomach some more, making Santana cry out in pain each time he touched the area that hurt the most. Brittany hated seeing Santana in so much pain and not being able to cure it.

"Ms. Lopez, your symptoms lead me to undoubtedly believe that you have appendicitis." Dr. Williams said with a serious expression. "It needs to be treated immediately so we're going to move you into another room. The nurse will be coming in to prep you for surgery and answer any questions you have."

Brittany thanked him and waited until he had left before she turned to Santana who was looking more terrified than ever. She gently stroked her hand over the brunette's cheek and kissed her softly on the forehead. "Don't be scared, babe. You're going to be fine."

"This sucks." Santana grumbled.

"I know." Brittany smiled softly. "I should call Quinn to let her know what's going on. She's probably worried."

Santana nodded and watched as Brittany pulled her phone out of pocket. The blonde quickly dialed Quinn's number and Quinn answered on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hi." Brittany replied calmly. "Don't freak out but San's in the hospital."

"What?" Quinn exclaimed loudly, making Brittany cringe. "What happened? Is she okay?"

"I found her in bed feeling even worse than yesterday. I drove her to the hospital and the doctor just informed us that she has appendicitis." Brittany explained. "She'll be taken into surgery as soon as possible."

"Oh my god. Will she be okay?"

"I think so." Brittany said softly, shooting Santana a worried look. "But she's in a lot of pain."

"Will you please keep me updated?"

"Of course." Brittany told her. "I'll call you as soon as I know anything."

They talked for about another minute before Brittany ended the call. She returned to Santana's side and gently stroked her girlfriend's hair as they waited for the nurse to come in. When she finally did, Brittany politely excused herself to make a phone call to work in the hallway while Santana got prepped for surgery. Brittany couldn't help but smile when she walked back into the room. Santana had been changed into a hospital gown and was scowling at the nurse who was setting up an IV drip.

By the time Santana got settled in a bigger room, the medicine had kicked in and she was starting to feel sleepy. Brittany pulled up a chair next to the bed and pressed a kiss to Santana's cheek. "Try to get some sleep, San."

"Don't leave." Santana whispered, grabbing Brittany's hand.

Brittany gave her hand a soft squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Santana gave in and slowly dozed off to sleep. Her face relaxed a bit and Brittany sighed in relief. It felt like she was finally able to breathe again.

Another hour passed before a doctor showed up and told her that it was time to take Santana into surgery. He explained some things and Brittany was asked to wait in the waiting room.

"Britt." Santana whimpered groggily, tightening her grip on the blonde's hand. "Stay."

Brittany felt her heart clench in her chest. She caressed Santana's cheek with her free hand as she looked into brown eyes. "I'll be here when you wake up, honey." She whispered, kissing her softly on the lips. "I love you."

Brittany watched with tears in her eyes as Santana was taken out of the room. She swallowed thickly and made her way into the waiting room where she sat down in one of the chairs. It was only then that she noticed how fast her heart was beating. She closed her eyes and tried not to focus on the sounds around her.

* * *

"Brittany!" A familiar voice pulled Brittany from her thoughts. She stood up as Quinn hurried over to her and pulled her into a hug. They parted and Quinn looked at the taller girl with concern written all over her features. "How's Santana?"

"I don't know." Brittany said softly. "I'm still waiting for them to tell me anything."

Quinn nodded as her eyes carefully studied Brittany's face. "Do you want me to get you something to eat?" She asked after a moment of silence. "You look really pale."

"No, thanks." Brittany replied, sending her a small, appreciative smile. "I just really hate hospitals."

"Okay, let's sit down." Quinn suggested gently, giving Brittany's arm a soft squeeze. "How long have you been waiting now?"

"About two hours." Brittany said, the familiar feeling of panic rising in her chest. "I don't know what's taking them so long. Do you think something's gone wrong? They would've told me already if that was the case, right?"

"Hey, calm down." Quinn reached out and placed a comforting hand on Brittany's knee. "It's probably just taking longer than they expected. I'm sure everything's fine."

Brittany nodded and slumped further into her chair. She focused on her breathing and tried to block out all the possible scenarios that were running through her mind. After a while, she couldn't stay seated anymore so she began to pace up and down the corridor. Not knowing if Santana was okay or not scared her more than anything.

Finally, a nurse approached them and Brittany quickly walked up to her.

"How is she?"

"Are you family?"

"What? No!" Brittany exclaimed before she could think straight and lie her way to Santana's side. "I want to see her. Where is she?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm only allowed to give out information to family."

Brittany felt herself begin to get angry. She tried to push past the nurse but the woman stopped her from doing so by cutting off her path.

"What the fuck?" Brittany yelled before she could stop herself. After hours of waiting, she was hungry and exhausted and she just wanted to see her girlfriend. "I'm the one who brought her in and now you're telling me that I'm not allowed to see her? I demand to speak to the person who's in charge here! I should be sitting next to her bed right now, not be talking to some stupid bi-"

"Excuse me?" Quinn suddenly appeared next to them. "I'm Santana's cousin. Can you please tell me how she's doing?"

The nurse looked skeptical but answered the question anyway. "She's doing just fine. The surgery was a success and her appendix has been removed. We've moved her to a recovery room where she will stay for the next couple of hours."

"Can we please see her now?" Brittany asked anxiously.

The nurse looked at her for a second but then nodded. They followed her down the corridor and into a surprisingly bright room. Brittany held her breath as her eyes landed on Santana who was lying in the bed, hooked up to several machines. She looked so small and vulnerable, lost in the sheets, and tears abruptly spilled down Brittany's cheeks.

Brittany walked up to the bed and took Santana's hand in her own.

"She should wake up in the next two hours or so." The nurse informed them. "She'll most likely be a little groggy from the anesthesia but that's nothing to worry about. Do make sure to hit the button right there," She pointed to a panel on the wall. "if she wakes up and someone will come check on her."

"Thanks." Quinn said as she sat down in a chair on the other side of the bed.

Brittany heard the nurse leave and took a seat as well. She rubbed small circles over the back of her girlfriend's hand with her thumb as they sat there in silence for a while. Brittany watched the rise and fall of Santana's chest and listened to the soft hum of her breathing. She was so grateful that Santana was alright.

After a while, Quinn left to get coffee but Brittany barely noticed, unable to take her eyes off Santana.

Brittany hadn't even realized that she had dozed off until she felt a tightening on her hand and heard the sound of a soft whimper. Her eyes shot open and she quickly moved to hover over her girlfriend, brushing her fingers through her hair soothingly.

"Hey." She smiled softly when Santana's eyelids slowly fluttered open. "There's my girl."

"Britt?" Santana mumbled, blinking a few times to clear her vision.

"I'm right here, honey." Brittany cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Santana slurred as she slowly looked around the room. Her eyes landed on Quinn and she smiled lazily. "Q!"

"Hi, S." Quinn chuckled as she stood up to press the button on the wall, earning an appreciative smile from Brittany who had already forgotten. "You gave us quite a scare there."

"Sorry." Santana mumbled, seemingly close to falling asleep again. She blinked slowly and her eyes locked with blue ones. "Is… is my dad still here?"

Brittany frowned in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Tell him… I don't want him here."

Before Brittany had the chance to ask her what she was talking about, a nurse entered the room and started to do some tests. By the time she was done, Santana had already fallen asleep again. Brittany sighed and figured that she had probably just been confused. She made a mental note to ask Santana about it later though.

* * *

The next morning, Santana was watching TV from her hospital bed when Brittany walked into her room. She watched as her girlfriend poked her head around the open door to see if she was awake, smiling when their eyes locked. Santana instantly felt her mood brighten a bit. "Hi."

Brittany approached the bed and leaned in to give Santana a soft kiss on the lips. "Hi, babe." She said after pulling away. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay." Santana sighed. "Just bored out of my mind."

Brittany pulled up a chair and took a seat, her eyes carefully scanning every inch of Santana's face. "I spoke with your doctor and he said that you can go home tomorrow."

Santana's entire face lit up and Brittany couldn't help but smile softly.

"I think it's best if I stay with you for a while, to help you out since you'll have to take it easy for the next couple of weeks." She paused and shyly glanced down at her hands. "Unless you don't want me to, of course. That's fine too."

"Why wouldn't I want to spend every minute of my day with my beautiful girlfriend?" Santana asked with a small smirk, taking Brittany's hand in her own. "Come closer."

Brittany smiled a bit and stood up. Santana grabbed a fistful of Brittany's shirt and pulled her closer, playfully brushing their noses together before she captured the blonde's lips with her own. It was a gentle kiss, an innocent one that spoke volumes for the both of them.

Moments like this made all the stress and pain they had gone through together worth it.

"Are you okay with being here?" Santana asked softly after she had pulled away, bringing her hand up to caress her girlfriend's cheek.

Brittany's eyes briefly flickered away before they returned to Santana. "I'm not going to lie; hospitals make me uncomfortable. Being here brings back a lot of unpleasant memories."

Santana felt her heart sink, dropping to the pit of her stomach as she thought of Brittany's scars, her terrible accident, and how she had spent months in the hospital. Before she had the chance to say anything, Brittany continued.

"But I want to be strong for you, Santana. I could never just leave you here by yourself."

Santana smiled warmly and pressed another kiss to Brittany's lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you more."

"Does that mean that you're not mad at me anymore?"

Brittany sighed. She looked down at her hands and tugged the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth before she spoke softly. "I was never mad at you, Santana. I just don't understand why you won't talk to me. I haven't brought up your parents in weeks because I was hoping that you would come to me eventually but I'm still waiting. Do you really think that I'm going to judge you?"

Santana shook her head, a guilty expression on her face. "That's not it, Britt."

"Then what is it?" Brittany felt frustration getting the best of her. "I can't keep pretending that everything's okay between us because it's not! I share everything with you and you refuse to talk about the one thing that has hurt you the most." She shook her head and mumbled the next part. "It's not fair."

"I know." Santana whispered.

Brittany's features softened and she took a deep breath to calm herself. She suddenly remembered what Santana had said after waking up from the surgery and decided that now was the right time to bring it up. "I want to ask you something and I need you to be honest."

Santana opened her mouth to say something when she heard footsteps enter the room. Her eyes flickered to the door and anger immediately consumed her when she saw who it was. She couldn't believe that she was being forced to face someone from her past, again. She clenched her jaw and breathed out sharply through her nose before she spoke sternly through gritted teeth. "Get out."

Brittany turned her head around and frowned in confusion when she saw a young woman standing there. The brunette carefully took a step closer to the bed and looked at Santana with sad eyes. "I heard that you were in the hospital and I just had to see if you were alright."

"Get out, Andrea." Santana spoke harshly.

"I just want to talk to you." Andrea said pleadingly. "What happened to you? Are you alright?"

Santana raised her eyebrows. "Since when do you care about my well-being?"

"I'm sorry but who are you?" Brittany asked as she stood up.

"I'm Andrea, Santana's cousin." The brunette introduced herself. She offered Brittany her hand but Brittany just narrowed her eyes at her so she let it fall down her side again. A moment of silence passed before she refocused her attention on Santana. "Look, I know that you hate me right now but please just give me a chance to explain."

"What is there to explain?" Santana snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. "How did you even find out that I was here?"

"My husband works at the hospital and he told me."

"Isn't there some kind of confidentiality rule?" Santana asked, clearly annoyed. She huffed and turned her head to stare out of the window. "So, you have a husband now?"

Andrea nodded. "There's a lot you missed out on."

"And whose fault is that?" Santana whipped her head around to glare at her cousin. When Andrea guilty glanced away and didn't say anything, Santana scoffed in disbelief. "Just leave, Andrea. I don't want you here."

"Santana, please." Andrea tried to take another step in her direction but Brittany cut off her path.

"I think Santana has made it pretty clear that she doesn't want you here." The blonde said in a low, threatening voice. "I'm not going to stand by and watch you upset my girlfriend so you better leave this room right now and never come back."

"I'm not leaving." Andrea protested with a firm shake of her head, desperation evident in her eyes. "Not until Santana hears me out."

Santana sighed in frustration. "I don't know what you could possibly have to say, Andrea. You chose your parents' side all those years ago and I accepted that. I don't need you to come back into my life and ruin everything all over again. Just let me be happy."

"I'm older now!" Andrea suddenly blurted out, earning a confused look from Santana. "I was only 16 when my parents told me that they wanted me to stay away from you. I didn't understand what was going on. All I knew was that you moved out of your parents' house the day after your 18th birthday and it wasn't until weeks later that I found out why. Your sexuality never mattered to me, Santana, but my parents told me that I had to choose between you and our family. I relied on them for everything so I chose the easy option because I was scared. I'm sorry, okay? I really am."

Santana was silent for a long time as she slowly processed her cousin's words.

"You were scared?" She finally asked in a monotone voice. " _You_ were scared?" She said with more force this time. "How scared do you think I was? I lived in a filthy apartment, worked two jobs to pay the bills, didn't have enough money to buy food most of the times, and my parents called me every other 6 weeks to ask me if I had been cured from my horrible disease yet! I had no one!"

Brittany felt tears well up in her eyes as she listened to Santana. Hearing about how her parents had treated her made her angry beyond belief. She couldn't believe that anyone could be so cruel to their own daughter.

Santana took a deep breath and continued in a softer tone. "And do you know what the worst part of it all is?" She swallowed the lump in her throat, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. "Despite how hard my life was, I was happier than I had ever been living with my parents. Do you know why? Because I could finally be myself. I didn't have to pretend anymore. That feeling of freedom was worth all the pain and tears."

"Santana..." Andrea whispered, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Why didn't you contact me sooner?" Santana asked. "Why now? It's been 7 years. Did I really have to end up in the hospital for you to come see me?"

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me." Andrea said softly. "I've picked up the phone so many times but I always backed out at the last moment because I'm a coward. I know that you hate me and I was terrified of your reaction." She sighed and glanced down at her feet. "I'm really sorry, Santana."

Santana could hear the sincerity in her cousin's voice. She sighed. "I know you are."

"I'm not asking you to forgive me right away." Andrea said as her eyes slowly met Santana's. "But please give me a chance to earn your trust again."

Santana silently contemplated the request. Her and Andrea had been really close once and she had really missed her cousin. There were many things holding her back though and she wanted to protect herself from getting hurt again.

"I'm not sure, Andrea." She finally said softly. Andrea's face fell and Santana couldn't but feel sympathetic towards her. "I'll think about it."

Andrea nodded and pulled a piece of paper and a pen out of her bag.

"I'll give you my number." She explained as she quickly wrote down the digits. She wanted to give the piece of paper to Santana but Brittany quickly stepped in front of her, refusing to let her get closer. Andrea sighed and handed it to the blonde instead. She shot Santana a small smile. "Take all the time you need. I hope you'll feel better."

Santana didn't reply.

Brittany waited until Andrea had left the room before she shoved the piece of paper into her pocket.

"I guess I'll hold onto this for now." She murmured, turning around to face Santana. Her features softened when she saw the slight quiver in Santana's bottom lip. She quickly walked closer to the bed and sat down on the edge, gently placing her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder. "Are you okay, San?"

Santana's face crumbled and tears sprang from her eyes in a rush of uncontrollable emotion. Brittany didn't waste any time and gathered Santana in her arms, guiding her head to her shoulder. Santana tried to keep her sobs quiet but they shook her entire body as everything she had kept locked inside hit her at once.

Brittany kissed the side of her head and gently stroked her hair, whispering into her ear. "It's okay, baby. I'm here."

Brittany closed her eyes and slightly rocked Santana back and forth, feeling her t-shirt starting to get damp from Santana's tears.

"Take it easy, honey." She instructed softly, noticing how badly Santana was shaking, rubbing slow circles on her back. "I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Why do they hate me so much?" Santana managed to get out through her sobs.

Brittany immediately understood what Santana was talking about and tears welled up in her own eyes. "Shh, it's okay." She tried to calm Santana down, hearing her struggle with her breathing. "They don't deserve you, Santana. You're so strong, so brave, and I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

She continued to whisper soothing things in Santana's ear until her sobs quieted down a bit. Brittany slightly pulled back and wiped under Santana's eyes with the pads of her thumbs.

"I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest." Santana nodded nervously and Brittany gave her a small smile in reassurance. "After you got out of surgery, you asked me if your father was still here. I know that you were confused because of the anesthesia but you seemed genuinely worried. Did something happen?"

Santana let out a shaky breath and nodded slowly.

"H-he showed up at my apartment." Brittany placed her hand on Santana's cheek and lightly caressed her skin, silently offering her support. "He was so horrible to me, Britt. He told me that he's willing to give me another chance but only if I change and stop living this disgusting lifestyle as he calls it." Brittany clenched her jaw as anger surged through her body. Even though she had never met Santana's father, she could genuinely say that she hated the man. "He told me that I'll never hear from him or my mom again if I don't choose to do what he wants."

"I'm so sorry, Santana." Brittany said softly, staring into sad brown eyes. "I don't know what to say to make you feel better but I want you to remember that I'm always here for you, no matter what. You just have to let me be."

Santana sniffled as fresh tears formed in her eyes. "I'm sorry for pushing you away before."

"Why was it so hard for you to open up to me?" Brittany asked, wiping Santana's tears away.

"I don't know." Santana whispered as she reached up to cover Brittany's hand that was still placed on her cheek with her own, leaning into her touch. "I guess that I was… embarrassed to admit that the situation with my parents still hurts this much. It's been years. I should be over it by now."

Brittany looked at her with sad, sympathetic eyes. "There's no time limit, San. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to be rejected by your own parents. The fact that you're still here, independent and free, says a lot about how strong of a person you are. But you once told me that I can't be strong all the time and the same goes for you. It's okay to admit that it hurts. It's okay to admit that they broke your heart. I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you too." Santana replied in a small voice. She paused for a second before adding, "I'm really sorry, Britt. I never meant to hurt you. I just felt so pathetic and didn't know what to tell you."

"It's okay, you're talking to me now." Brittany said, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. She pulled Santana into her arms again and Santana buried her face in her shoulder, clinging to her almost desperately. A sob escaped her throat before she could stop it as she started to cry again, no longer able to hold in the tears that she had been repressing for years. Brittany slowly stroked her hand across Santana's shoulder blades, holding her tightly. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's temple. "Just let it all out, San. I've got you."

They sat there like that for a long time as Santana finally allowed herself to break down. Brittany just held her silently, knowing that that was what she needed right now, counting her heartbeats, feeling the steady thump of her pulse against her own chest, and breathing in her scent. Brittany hated seeing Santana like this but she was glad that the brunette was finally letting herself cry and be comforted.

* * *

"Wait, let me do it." Brittany said in a panicked voice as Santana reached up to grab a glass from the cupboard. It had been two weeks since Santana had gotten discharged from the hospital and Brittany had been staying with her the entire time. She had even cut back her work hours so that she could be there for Santana as much as possible. Santana was feeling a lot better and her wound had healed nicely but Brittany still wanted to make sure that she was careful.

"It's fine." Santana protested. She loved that Brittany was so sweet to her but she had always been a very independent person so having to rely on her girlfriend was torture for her. She was glad that almost all her pain had gone and she was able to function normally again.

"Are you sure?" Brittany asked, awkwardly shifting from foot to foot as she stood next to Santana, eager to help.

"I'm not crippled, Brittany!" Santana snapped, letting her frustration get the best of her.

Brittany's face fell and Santana instantly felt guilty.

She sighed and ran her hand through her hair, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She apologized as her eyes met sad blue ones. Brittany averted her gaze down to her feet so Santana took a step closer to her and cupped her cheek, tilting her face back up. "I know that you're just trying to help and I appreciate it. I just need you to give me some room to breathe."

Brittany's shoulders drooped dejectedly and she stepped away from Santana, hanging her head in embarrassment. She rubbed her hand up and down her arm, a nervous habit that she had picked up many years ago. "Oh." She breathed out softly. "I'm sorry."

"No." Santana shook her head, reaching out to take Brittany's hand in her own. "Don't apologize for anything. Like I said, I really appreciate you being here but I'm feeling a lot better so I don't need you to do _everything_ for me."

"Okay." Brittany sighed, her eyes looking at everything but Santana. "It's just that…"

"It's just that what?" Santana pressed when Brittany trailed off.

"Maybe I don't want you to feel better!" Brittany blurted out loudly. Her eyes widened when she realized how awful her words sounded and she clamped her hand over her mouth. Santana's eyebrows pinched together in confusion and she dropped Brittany's hand, stumbling backwards.

"W-what?"

"I-I mean…" Brittany fumbled to find the right words. "I-I do want you to f-feel better but at the same time I don't." Santana just continued to stare at her, hurt flashing in her eyes, and Brittany sighed in frustration. She blinked hard and started to ramble nervously. "It's just that we agreed that I'll stay with you until you feel well enough to take care of yourself and don't get me wrong, I'm happy that you're not in so much pain anymore because I hate seeing you in pain but this also means that I'll have to go home soon and maybe I don't want to go home yet. I realize how incredibly selfish that sounds but I can't help it. I just really like being here with you."

"Baby…" Santana whispered, completely taken by surprise. She had been dreading the day Brittany would go back to her own apartment ever since she had been released from the hospital. The thought of not waking up next to her girlfriend every day anymore made her sad. She had been thinking of asking Brittany to permanently move in with her but she had decided against it out of fear that Brittany would say no.

Brittany shook her head and blinked back the tears that were burning in her eyes, her face red with embarrassment. "It's stupid." She turned around and walked away from Santana. "I'm stupid. Just forget about it."

Santana felt her heart clench in her chest at how small Brittany's voice sounded. She quickly followed the blonde and stepped in front of her, cutting off her path. "Please don't walk away from me, Britt." She said softly, placing her hand on Brittany's arm. "You're not stupid and you're not selfish either, don't say those things about yourself."

Brittany refused to look at Santana. "Can we just forget that this conversation ever happened?"

"No." Santana said firmly, rubbing her hand up and down Brittany's arm soothingly. Brittany's eyes hesitantly flickered up to meet Santana's warm brown ones. She looked so vulnerable and Santana was eager to reassure her. "Move in with me."

Brittany crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "You don't have to ask me just to make me feel better, Santana."

"That's not what I'm doing." Santana said softly. "I've been thinking about asking you to move in with me for a while now but I didn't think you'd want to because maybe it's too soon." Brittany shifted under her gaze, still looking skeptical, so she continued. "But you mean the world to me, Brittany, and I want to be around you all the time."

Brittany was silent for a moment before she quietly asked, "Really?"

"You know that I wouldn't lie to you." Santana replied. A small smile formed on Brittany's lips but she didn't say anything. Santana connected their lips in a sweet kiss before she pulled back and rested their foreheads together. "So, what do you say? Will you move in with me?"

"Yes." Brittany said before a huge grin spread across her face. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and captured her lips with her own, pouring all her love into the kiss. Brittany melted into Santana's embrace and kissed her back just as eagerly. When they parted, Brittany gazed into Santana's eyes lovingly. "I love you, Santana."

"I love you too, Britt." Santana smiled.

Brittany rested her hand on Santana's clothed stomach where the scar of her surgery was hidden and a sad expression washed over her features. She sighed and slowly rubbed her thumb over the area, her eyes watering slightly. "This could've killed you." She whispered, feeling a shiver run down her spine. "I almost lost you."

"Don't think about that." Santana said, covering Brittany's hand with her own. "I'm okay."

Brittany tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and exhaled shakily. "But what if I hadn't brought you to the hospital in time? What if Quinn hadn't called me? I read on the internet that you can die if your appendix ruptures. What if y-…"

"Britt." Santana interrupted her, giving her hand a soft squeeze. "Stop with these 'what ifs'. I'm still here. We're together. That's all that matters."

Brittany sighed and gave her a small nod in reply. "You're right."

"Come here." Santana said, letting go of Brittany's hand to wrap her arms around the blonde's neck. Brittany smiled and placed her hands on Santana's hips. She gazed into Santana's eyes for a moment and lightly nudged Santana's nose with her own before she brought their lips together in a kiss. Her eyes fluttered shut as happiness replaced her worry.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17.**

Santana was pulled from her sleep by the feeling of soft, little kisses being placed all over her face. She sighed happily and curled her hand around the back of Brittany's neck, not opening her eyes just yet. It had been a little over a month since Brittany had moved in with her and she couldn't be happier. Waking up to the woman she loved was one of the best feelings in the world.

She blinked a few times before she slowly cracked her eyelids open. A smile found its way to her lips when she immediately found herself drowning in the most gorgeous shades of blue. "Hi."

"Good morning." Brittany returned the smile.

Santana ran her hand through Brittany's messy hair and tucked a few strands behind her girlfriend's ears. "How long have you been awake?"

"A while now." Brittany replied, shrugging her shoulders.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked too cute to wake up so I just watched you sleep."

Santana smirked a bit and lightly trailed her finger down Brittany's jawline, relishing the feeling of the smooth, soft skin beneath her touch. "That would sound creepy coming from anyone else." She said, smiling when a light blush instantly appeared on Brittany's cheeks. "But it's kind of cute coming from you."

Brittany smiled and leaned down to capture Santana's full lips in a chaste kiss. Before she could pull away, Santana cupped her cheek and connected their lips again. Brittany hummed softly in approval as she returned the kiss, her lips instinctively parting when Santana's tongue traced over her bottom lip. Brittany pulled away and looked at Santana, her blue eyes sparkling with nothing but adoration.

"What?" Santana asked shyly.

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled, bringing her hand to Santana's cheek, letting her thumb lightly trace her girlfriend's bottom lip. "You're beautiful, that's all."

Santana reached up to place her hand on the back of Brittany's neck and guided her down until their lips met in a kiss. She felt Brittany smile into the kiss and a warm feeling spread through her body as she tilted her head. They parted and Santana played with the soft hairs at the nape of Brittany's neck for a moment before she spoke again, "What do you want to do today?"

Brittany chewed on her bottom lip as she thought the question over. Her eyes lit up when an idea hit her. "We should go for a picnic."

"A picnic?" Santana questioned, slowly rubbing her hand up and down Brittany's back. Her girlfriend nodded excitedly and Santana couldn't help but smile at how cute she was being. "Where?"

Brittany's face scrunched up in thought and Santana's smile widened; Brittany was just too adorable sometimes.

"We could go to the spot where you took me for our first date." Brittany suggested in a soft voice. "If you want to."

"Sounds good to me." Santana replied as she snuggled further under the covers and closed her eyes.

"No, don't fall back asleep." Brittany whined and Santana could hear the pout in her voice. She felt soft lips graze the skin of her cheek before a delicate kiss was pressed to the corner of her mouth. "Come on, sleepyhead. I'll make you coffee."'

Santana groaned and forced her eyes open. "Okay but I'm going to take a shower first."

Brittany grinned in satisfaction and climbed off her. About ten minutes later, Santana walked into the kitchen where a cup of coffee was already waiting for her on the counter. She smiled at Brittany who was busy making sandwiches for their picnic and pecked her on the cheek. "Thanks, babe."

Santana took a seat and let out a content sigh. It felt nice to just be, sipping her coffee and enjoying the relaxing atmosphere. She propped her face up with her hand as she leaned her elbow against the counter and watched Brittany for a moment. She was so beautiful and sometimes Santana couldn't bring herself to take her eyes off her.

"Stop staring at me." Brittany said after a while, glancing at her over her shoulder. "It's creepy."

"Says the person who was watching me sleep." Santana countered with a smirk.

Brittany shot her a playful glare but didn't say anything.

About an hour later, they were walking through the familiar wooded area in search of the spot that would be perfect for their picnic. Santana knew exactly where it was and soon she saw the opening that would lead them to where they needed to be. She tightened her hold on Brittany's slightly cold hand and guided her through the area that was overgrown with bushes and thick trees. Finally, they reached the open spot that overlooked the city and Brittany smiled. It was just as beautiful as she'd remembered.

She gave Santana's hand a soft squeeze before she let go of it. She took off her backpack to grab the blanket that they had brought and handed it to Santana who spread it out on the grass before they both sat down. Brittany rummaged through her backpack again and pulled out several sandwiches wrapped in foil. They both picked one and started to eat.

"It's really perfect out here." The blonde mumbled after a while.

Santana nodded in agreement. "It's so quiet and peaceful compared to the city."

"How did you find this spot again?" Brittany asked before she took the last bite of her sandwich.

"My father showed it to me once." Santana said softly. The way Santana's eyes turned sad whenever her parents were mentioned never failed to break Brittany's heart. She moved closer to her girlfriend until their knees were touching. Santana smiled a bit at the small gesture. "We used to go hiking here every now and then, just the two of us."

"Do you not mind coming back here?" Brittany asked, taking a sip of her water.

Santana shook her head. "There was a time when I tried to avoid everything that reminded me of my parents but now I just don't care anymore." She paused before adding, "They don't deserve to have that kind of control over my life."

"They don't." Brittany agreed.

Santana offered her a smile but didn't say anything.

Brittany looked at her for a second before she changed the subject.

"There's actually something I've been meaning to talk to you about." Concern washed over Santana's features and Brittany was quick to reassure her. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad." Santana breathed out a sigh of relief and nodded, encouraging Brittany to continue. Brittany nervously fidgeted with her fingers and glanced away from her. "I have another audition coming up in a few days and I'm really nervous."

"You do?" Santana asked in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only found out yesterday." Brittany said quietly. "I don't know if I can do it, Santana. I want to but I'm scared that I'll freak out again. It was so embarrassing."

Santana sighed and covered Brittany's hands with her own to stop the fidgeting. "Just calm down for a moment, okay? You have to forget about what happened that day, baby. I know that it sucks but you can't change anything about it. You have to let it go."

Brittany stared into Santana's eyes. "I just don't want to mess up again."

"I know." Santana said gently. "But you can do this, Brittany. I believe in you and now all you have to do is believe in yourself. I'm proud of you no matter what happens, you know that. I can even come with you if that'll make you feel a little less nervous."

Brittany's lips quirked up into a small smile. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?" Santana asked, confused.

"How do you always know exactly what to say to make me feel better?"

"Because I know you." Santana leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips. She pulled away and watched as blue eyes slowly fluttered open. "And because I love you."

"I love you too." Brittany whispered.

They finished eating and cleaned everything up. Santana noticed that Brittany was shivering slightly so she moved closer to her girlfriend and slowly ran her hand up and down her arm in an attempt to warm her up. "Do you want to go home?" She asked softly.

Brittany shook her head. "Can we just sit her for a while?"

"Come here." Santana maneuvered Brittany so that the blonde was positioned between her legs, her back against Santana's chest. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany and Brittany snuggled into her embrace, absorbing her warmth. She clasped their hands together on her stomach and sighed happily. There was nowhere she'd rather be than right here with Santana.

* * *

A couple of days later, they were standing in front of the building where Brittany's audition would take place. Santana could tell that Brittany was beyond nervous by the way she kept twisting her hands together in front of her. She was afraid that the blonde would back out at the last moment so she quickly grabbed her hand and gave it gentle tug, indicating that they should head inside. Brittany took a deep breath and gave her a small nod in reply.

Brittany filled out some forms at the front desk and managed to convince the woman who was sitting behind it to let Santana join her in the waiting area with all the dancers. They created some space for themselves in the corner of the room and Brittany sat down on the wooden floor, starting with some stretching exercises. Santana looked around but nobody was paying attention to each other. It was completely silent and all the dancers seemed to be in their own world, solely focused on their own audition.

"San?" Brittany's soft voice caught her attention. She looked down at her girlfriend whose face was suddenly even paler than usual and she quickly took a seat next to her, leaning in so that Brittany could speak into her ear and wouldn't disturb the silence. "Have you seen the competition? I don't think that I can do this. Let's just go home and-…"

"Okay, calm down." Santana said just as softly. "Don't pay attention to anyone else, you're here for you. Just try to relax and don't overthink things too much."

Brittany closed her eyes and released a shuddering breath as Santana started to rub small circles on her lower back, trying to ease some of the tension in her muscles. They sat there in silence as all the dancers' names were called one by one. Santana wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and the blonde rested her head on her shoulder, trying to focus on her breathing and nothing else.

Finally, Brittany's name was called and her eyes snapped open. Santana pressed a kiss to her temple and stood up, offering Brittany her hand to help her to her feet as well. She pulled her girlfriend into a hug and spoke softly into her ear. "Good luck, babe. You can do this."

"Thanks." Brittany flashed her a small smile before she hurriedly made her way into the auditorium.

She walked to the center of the stage and shyly greeted the judges. The music started to play and she inhaled deeply, trying to ignore the shaking of her legs. Panic washed over her when she once again found herself too nervous to move. She was just about to run off stage before she could humiliate herself even more when her eyes suddenly locked with familiar brown ones. Santana had somehow found a way to snuck inside and was standing at the side. She smiled encouragingly and it was like everything else in the room disappeared.

Brittany started to move across the floor and Santana's jaw dropped in awe. She looked so beautiful, her movements graceful and perfectly executed, almost effortlessly. Santana's heart swelled with pride and tears formed in her eyes as she watched Brittany perform her routine. She had seemingly lost herself in the music and Santana could feel all the emotions she was pouring into her dancing.

After the song came to an end, Brittany nervously shifted from foot to foot as she waited for a reaction. Santana thought it was adorable how Brittany could go from extremely confident to incredibly shy in a matter of seconds.

"Thank you, Ms. Pierce." One of the judges spoke into the microphone. "You'll get back from us once we've come to a decision. We have your contact information."

Brittany nodded and thanked him before she walked off stage. She smiled widely when she spotted Santana and quickly approached her, throwing her arms around her and pulling her into a hug. The brunette chuckled and wrapped her arms around her waist, kissing her neck and inhaling her sweet scent. "I'm so proud of you, Britt."

"I'm just glad that I didn't completely mess up." Brittany mumbled, pulling back to meet Santana's eyes.

"You were absolutely amazing, babe." Santana reassured her, leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips. She smiled and took Brittany's hand in her own, giving it a soft squeeze. "They'd be fools not to give you the part."

Brittany shrugged. "I don't want to get my hopes up."

"I understand." Santana said, giving her hand another squeeze. "Let's go home and spend the rest of the day cuddling on the couch."

Brittany smiled and nodded in agreement. "That sounds perfect."

* * *

The next few days dragged by agonizingly slow. Brittany was still anxiously waiting to hear back from her audition and the longer she had to wait, the more she became convinced that she didn't get the part. She sighed in relief when she arrived home and threw her keys on the table. The only one who was able to take her mind off things was her girlfriend.

"Santana?" Brittany called out as she kicked off her shoes and took off her coat. When she received no response, she walked further into the apartment and a wonderful smell invaded her nostrils. It was then that she realized how hungry she was.

A smile found its way to her lips when she walked into the kitchen and saw Santana standing by the stove. She was wearing one of Brittany's t-shirts and a pair of shorts. Brittany quietly tiptoed over to the brunette and wrapped her arms around her waist. Santana tensed in surprise and let out a startled yelp, turning around in Brittany's arms and raising her arms in defense.

"Hey, it's just me."

"Jesus Christ, Brittany." Santana breathed out a sigh of relief at the sound of Brittany's voice, letting her arms drop to her sides. "Don't _ever_ do that again."

Brittany's lips formed into a pout and she moved to step away from Santana. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, babe." Santana reassured her, placing her hands on Brittany's hips to stop her from getting anywhere. "You just scared the shit out of me. I thought you were a murderer or something."

Brittany placed her hand on Santana's chest and could feel the rapid beating of her heart. She moved her hand up to Santana's cheek and brought their lips together in a sweet kiss, lightly nibbling on her girlfriend's bottom lip, feeling Santana relax into her touch.

They pulled away and Santana turned back to the stove to resume her cooking. Brittany rested her chin on Santana's shoulder and let out a content sigh. "It looks great."

"It's just mac and cheese." Santana said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I don't care." Brittany mumbled, feeling her eyes start to droop. She was exhausted from work and couldn't wait to spend a relaxing night with Santana. She didn't realize how heavily she was leaning against Santana until her girlfriend ran her fingers through her hair, lightly scratching her scalp, to get her attention.

"Britt?" She called out softly. Brittany hummed in acknowledgment and opened her eyes. "Why don't you get changed out of your work clothes and go take a quick shower? Dinner will be ready by then."

Brittany nodded and pressed a kiss to Santana's cheek before she released the shorter girl from her embrace. "Okay, I'll be right back."

About fifteen minutes later, the two were seated at the table with a plate of food in front of them. Brittany listened intently as Santana talked about her work. She loved the way her girlfriend always became really enthusiastic whenever she discussed writing. They were interrupted by the sound of Brittany's phone ringing and Brittany frowned when she saw that it was an unfamiliar number.

"Hello?" She answered the call in a confused voice. Santana watched as the blonde's eyes widened before she coughed awkwardly and spoke again. "This is she."

Santana waited patiently as Brittany handled the phone call and continued to eat her food. Brittany didn't say much except for an occasional hum of conformation so Santana couldn't really understand what the conversation was about. When Brittany started to anxiously bite her nails, Santana frowned in concern and turned in her seat to face her girlfriend, placing her hand on her knee.

"Okay, thank you." Brittany said before she hung up the phone, her face expressionless.

Santana swallowed nervously and gave Brittany's knee a soft squeeze. "Is everything alright?"

Brittany didn't say anything and surprised Santana by suddenly pulling her into a hug, almost cutting off her oxygen. Santana's eyebrows pinched together in confusion and she slowly ran her hands up and down Brittany's back.

"Britt?" She tried to get Brittany's attention. Brittany didn't respond and pulled her even closer, worrying Santana. "Baby, what's going on?"

"I can't believe it." Brittany whispered.

Santana carefully freed herself from Brittany's hug and cupped her cheeks. "Can't believe what?"

"I got it." Brittany replied, searching Santana's eyes, as if she was expecting someone to tell her that what she'd just been told wasn't true. "I got the part."

It took a moment for Santana's mind to register Brittany's word but when it did, she nearly squealed with happiness and leaned in to place sloppy kisses all over Brittany's face. Brittany scrunched up her nose and giggled softly, feeling her heart swell with love at her girlfriend's excitement.

"I'm so, so happy for you, Britt!" Santana smiled widely after she had ceased her attack of kisses. "I knew you could do it."

"Thanks, San." Brittany blushed a little.

"We have to celebrate." Santana mumbled thoughtfully, the words more directed to herself than to Brittany. She pursed her lips in thought and turned to Brittany who was watching her with a small smile on her face. "Got any ideas?"

Brittany shook her head. "I don't really want to go out."

"That's okay." Santana replied, pressing a gentle kiss to Brittany's lips before she turned back to her food. "I guess I wouldn't mind a quiet night at home."

"I'm sorry for being boring." Brittany said softly.

Santana shot her a reassuring smile. "It's fine."

They finished eating dinner and cleaned everything up together. Brittany moved to the living room and Santana told her that she needed to get something from the kitchen. She returned a moment later with two champagne flutes and a nicely presented plate of strawberries with chocolate sauce.

Brittany looked up and smiled adoringly. "San…"

"I know it's nothing special." Santana said as she handed Brittany one of the glasses and set the plate down on the table. "But I thought we should toast to this wonderful night and the start of something amazing. You've come so far, Britt, and I'm so proud of you."

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble but thank you." Brittany said, placing her hand on her girlfriend's thigh and leaning in to kiss her softly on the lips. She pulled away and smiled warmly. "I love you."

"I love you too, Britt."

They sat there and talked for a while, sipping their champagne and eating strawberries. They agreed to watch a movie and snuggled up against each other, Brittany's head resting on Santana's shoulder, a calm smile gracing her features. Santana slowly combed her fingers through long, blonde locks as she sighed contentedly. It were moments like these that made Santana the most happy; being with Brittany without having to worry about anything. She nuzzled her nose against Brittany's cheek and tilted her head down to capture the blonde's lips in a sweet kiss.

Brittany sighed into the kiss and responded immediately, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck and pulling her closer. Santana tangled her fingers into Brittany's hair, trailing her tongue over her bottom lip, asking for entrance that was eagerly granted. She found herself becoming lost in the kiss, lost in the moment, her body growing warmer as Brittany invaded all her senses.

Santana somehow found the strength to end the kiss. Brittany seemed confused so Santana smiled in assurance and gently caressed her cheek.

"You make me feel so good, Britt." She whispered, causing Brittany to blush slightly. "I'm afraid I won't be able to stop myself if we continue."

Brittany rested their foreheads together and gazed into brown eyes. "Then don't stop."

"We can wait if you're not ready. I'm not going to pressure you." Santana said softly, placing another light kiss on the blonde's lips. "You know that."

"I want to make love to you, Santana." Brittany's eyes nervously darted around Santana's face to study her reaction. Before Santana had the chance to respond, Brittany leaned forward and their lips met again softly, the pressure light and gentle. Santana let out a soft murmur of appreciation as Brittany took her bottom lip between her teeth, giving it a gentle nip before releasing it. She pulled away and looked at her intently before speaking in a soft voice. "I want to give myself to you fully but I'm scared. You're so beautiful and I don't want to disappoint you."

"You could never disappoint me." Santana replied, gently stroking her thumb over the soft skin of Brittany's cheek. Brittany's eyes were full of love but Santana could see the faintest hint of anxiety in them. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Brittany said confidently. She held Santana's gaze for a moment and then looked down at her lap, twisting her hands together. "I-I really do want to make love to you. I'm just…"

"Nervous." Santana finished the sentence for her, slowly caressing a pale cheek until blue eyes met hers again. "I understand, honey. We'll take it slow and we can stop if you feel uncomfortable. I know that it'll be perfect as long as I'm with you."

Brittany's lips quirked up into a shy smile and she leaned in to press a chaste kiss to Santana's lips. "I love you."

"I love you too, Britt."

Santana smiled softly and tucked a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear before she got to her feet. She extended her hand to Brittany who inhaled deeply before she took it, allowing Santana to help her up. Brittany fought the feeling of panic as Santana led her towards the bedroom, willing herself to stay calm. She did trust Santana and she knew that her girlfriend would be patient with her. Still, her breathing got shallower as she hesitated in the doorway.

"Are you sure about this?" Santana asked, sensing her girlfriend's hesitation.

Brittany nodded and Santana felt a rush of excitement course through her body. She took Brittany's hand in her own and gave it a soft squeeze. Their lips connected again and Santana felt a shiver run down her spine as their tongues met in a heated battle. Brittany clung onto Santana's hand as Santana guided her to the bed, gently pushing her down so that she was lying on her back. Santana maneuvered herself in between Brittany's slightly parted legs and resumed kissing her. All the hesitancy that Brittany had before seemed to be gone as she hummed softly against Santana's mouth. Santana's kisses always had a calming effect on her.

Santana slowly removed her lips from Brittany's and started a trail of kisses down Brittany's neck, pausing to nip at her pulse point and lightly swirling her tongue over the sensitive skin. Brittany's breath hitched when the brunette's lips traveled all the way to her collarbone, sucking and gently biting down. Brittany placed her hands on Santana's cheeks and directed her face back up, drawing her in for a fiery kiss. Santana moaned as Brittany dragged her tongue along the roof of her mouth, exploring the familiar warmth and texture. There was no urgency in their movements, just soft lips touching, knowing they had all the time in the world.

Santana pulled back just enough to meet Brittany's eyes as she slipped one hand under Brittany's t-shirt, lightly brushing her fingers over the skin. Brittany swallowed thickly, her cheeks flushed, before she nodded once. Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's lips in reassurance and slowly began to tug her shirt upwards. Brittany lifted her arms, letting Santana remove the piece of clothing. She immediately averted her gaze away as Santana's eyes raked over her abdomen, seemingly losing confidence. She knew that Santana had already seen her before but she couldn't help but feel insecure. Sometimes it was still hard for her to believe that Santana wasn't disgusted by the scars that coated her skin.

As if sensing her thoughts, Santana stroked Brittany's cheeks with her thumbs until she looked at her again. "You're beautiful, Britt. Please believe me."

Santana's eyes held nothing but love and sincerity and Brittany felt herself begin to relax a bit. She let out a shaky breath and pulled Santana down for another kiss, their lips moving together in perfect sync. Santana's hand moved slowly over Brittany's torso, her fingertips skimming over the soft and silky fabric of her bra, eliciting a soft moan from the woman underneath her. Her lips grazed over Brittany's jawline before they attached to the smooth, milky skin of Brittany's neck once more. She could feel slender fingers tugging at the hem of her shirt and she pulled back briefly to let her girlfriend remove the item of clothing, but then quickly went back to what she had been doing. Her tongue pressed against the soft flesh just beneath Brittany's ear before she captured her earlobe between her teeth, sucking on it gently.

The warmth of Santana's breath against her neck drove Brittany crazy. "Santana…"

Santana pulled back to take in the sight of her girlfriend. Brittany's hair was slightly messy, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were a shade darker than usual. Santana placed her hand flat on Brittany's chest and could feel her heart beating rapidly. She leaned down and placed a feather-light kiss on the area. "You're so beautiful."

Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's forehead, her cheeks, her nose and finally her lips. Her hands slowly roamed over Brittany's collarbones, down to her stomach before coming back up again. They traveled to the hook of Brittany's bra and stayed there. Santana rested their foreheads together and gazed into blue orbs. "Is this okay?"

Brittany closed her eyes, as if to encourage herself, before she tentatively pressed their lips together again. She suddenly seemed so fragile and Santana felt her heart clench in her chest. She pulled the blonde closer and just held her for a while, calming her down with soft caresses and gentle kisses. All she cared about was making Brittany feel comfortable and safe. Brittany's breaths tickled Santana's skin, her face was buried in the curve of Santana's neck and her arms were wrapped around tan shoulders, as if to keep herself grounded. She could feel herself start to zone out, something that her mind did on its own, like an automatic defense mechanism that didn't allow her to get hurt. She tried to listen to the loving words that were being whispered into her ear and focused all her attention on the steady thump of Santana's heart beating against her own chest. She wanted to experience every second of this.

"Britt?" Santana called out softly when Brittany still hadn't said anything. She pressed her lips to her girlfriend's temple and inhaled her sweet scent, nuzzling her nose into soft, blonde hair. "Talk to me, baby. What do you need me to do?"

"Can…" Brittany started but then paused to swallow the lump in her throat. She dug her fingers into Santana's shoulders and blinked hard before trying again. "Can we turn off the light?"

"Britt…"

"Please?" Brittany's voice sounded so small, so insecure, that Santana couldn't do anything but nod her head. She pressed another kiss to Brittany's temple before climbing off her.

Brittany shuddered, feeling cold without the comforting warmth of Santana's body enveloping her. The light in the room was replaced by darkness and Santana returned within seconds, causing Brittany to sigh out in relief.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked softly as their eyes met. Brittany nodded and ran her fingers through Santana's long locks, craning her neck to capture full lips in a sweet kiss. Santana melted into the contact and her hands started to move over Brittany's skin again, slow and gentle. She pulled back and waited for a sign of confirmation before she unclasped Brittany's bra without any difficulty and tossed it aside. Before she had the chance to look at Brittany, Brittany crossed her arms over her chest as she trembled awkwardly underneath Santana's weight.

"Don't ever hide from me, Brittany. You're beautiful." Santana whispered against her lips before kissing her softly. She had told her this so many times already but she wouldn't stop doing so until Brittany believed her. "So very beautiful."

Brittany hesitated for another moment before she slowly uncrossed her arms and placed them on the bed. Santana didn't break eye-contact as she let her fingers run over the skin of Brittany's breasts, brushing her thumbs over her nipples, earning a soft whimper from Brittany. She gazed into Brittany's wide eyes and leaned down, kissing her softly, until she felt the tension slowly leave Brittany's body. Brittany moaned as Santana sucked on her tongue as it slipped into her mouth, her hands settling on the brunette's waist. Santana's lips traveled down, leaving soft kisses on Brittany's skin until she reached her destination. Brittany's back arched as Santana's tongue traced over nipple, her fingers tangling in dark locks. Her other hand reached for the clasp of Santana's bra and she quickly unfastened it, desperate to see Santana too.

Santana leaned back and slid the straps off her shoulders, letting the garment fall to the floor. She watched as Brittany's eyes darted around, taking in every inch of her. Brittany swallowed the lump in her suddenly dry throat and reached up to brush some hair away from Santana's face. "I've never seen anything more perfect."

Santana smiled shyly and leaned down to kiss her again, moaning at the feeling of their bare breasts brushing against each other. She bit down on Brittany's bottom lip and sucked on it, earning a groan from Brittany who let her hands run up and down Santana's back. Santana gently nudged Brittany's thighs apart and nestled a knee in between them, applying just enough pressure to make Brittany whimper softly. She pulled back slightly and looked into Brittany's piercing blue eyes as she hooked her fingers into the hem of her sweatpants. "Can I take them off?"

Brittany released another shaky breath before she lifted her hips off the bed. Santana slowly pulled her sweatpants down her legs and moved to hover over her again, pressing a soft, light kiss to her lips.

"Are you still okay, Britt?" She asked, wanting to make sure. Brittany nodded but still squeezed her eyes shut, clenching her jaw tightly. Santana sighed sadly and cupped the blonde's cheek, gently caressing the skin with her thumb. "Babe, look at me."

Brittany's eyes slowly fluttered open and Santana sighed in relief.

"I want you to keep looking at me, okay?" She asked softly. Brittany nodded and wrapped her arms around Santana's strong shoulders, holding her as close as possible. A shiver tore through her body when Santana's hand slowly moved between her legs, cupping her heated center in her palm. Santana's eyes met blue ones and the trust she saw in them was the answer to her silent question. She hooked her fingers into Brittany's panties and slowly pulled the fabric down, revealing Brittany's glistening flesh. Santana pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's lips. "You're beautiful."

She ran her fingers through Brittany's long, blonde hair as their lips met again in a slow kiss. Brittany couldn't help but sigh contentedly when Santana's other hand came up to gently massage her breast and she arched into the touch, her hips bucking up in search for some friction. Her body quivered in anticipation as Santana's hand moved lower and lower, her fingertips gliding along her stomach at an agonizingly slow pace. Arousal clouded Brittany's mind and she couldn't stop the soft whimper that escaped her lips. "Please."

"Shh." Santana shushed her gently. Brittany gasped when Santana slid one finger through her folds, dragging her wetness up to her clit and rubbing small circles over the sensitive bundle of nerves. Her movements were slow, her fingers easily slipping through moist folds, adding just enough pressure to make Brittany's thighs quiver. Santana bit her lip as she watched Brittany. Her eyes were barely open and dark with lust, her breasts rising and falling with each gentle breath she took. "God Brittany…"

"San." Brittany whimpered, bending her knees up and pressing them against Santana's hips, hands holding the sides of Santana's head gently as she pulled her in for another kiss. Santana continued to rub lazy circles over her clit and she was forced to tear her mouth away, releasing a gasp. Her hips rolled awkwardly, confused by the contrasting feelings of reluctance and need. She felt vulnerable and exposed but at the same time safe and secure in Santana's arms. "I-I…"

"It's okay, babe." Santana whispered. "Just let go."

She eased one finger into Brittany's wet heat, humming against Brittany's neck at the feeling of tight walls pulling her in deeper. She watched Brittany's reaction carefully and smiled when the blonde's face scrunched up in pleasure, a soft moan leaving her slightly swollen lips. Santana began to thrust in and out of her in a slow, steady rhythm, relishing in how warm and wet Brittany's pulsating walls felt around her finger.

Brittany clung onto Santana's shoulders and her voice came out in a breathy whisper. "More."

Santana gently added a second finger, feeling Brittany's tight walls stretch to accommodate the extra intrusion. She kept her slow and gentle pace and soon enough, Brittany was panting heavily. Santana loved the way her brow furrowed and her lips parted as her breathing sped up with each thrust. Her eyes were so open, so trusting, as if she had nothing to hide and Santana never wanted this moment to end.

Santana felt the throbbing between her own legs increase at the soft mewling sounds Brittany was making. She picked up her pace, her palm hitting Brittany's clit with each thrust, driving her higher and higher. Brittany's fingers dug into her shoulders, letting Santana know that she was close. She nudged the blonde's cheek with her nose.

"Look at me." Pale eyelids fluttered open, revealing dazed blue orbs. "I want you to look at me when you come."

Brittany bit down on her lip and fought the urge to close her eyes and give into all the sensations she was feeling, not wanting to lose her connection with Santana. She began bucking her hips upwards in time with Santana's thrusts, pulling her in even deeper.

"I love you." Santana husked into Brittany's ear before licking the skin behind it, sending a shiver down Brittany's spine. "Let it go, baby."

She suddenly pulled out slightly and curled her fingers while flicking her thumb over Brittany's clit. It had the desired effect and Brittany came undone only a second later, her back arching as her mouth fell open in a silent scream, her hips bucking up with all the force she could muster. Santana gently helped her ride out her orgasm until the blonde collapsed back on the bed with a sigh. She pressed a kiss to Brittany's forehead and slowly removed her fingers, smiling softly when Brittany made a soft noise of disapproval.

Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's back and pulled her down on top of her, clinging onto her desperately as her body continued to tremble. Santana buried her face in the curve of Brittany's sweat-dampened neck and placed a soft kiss on pale skin. She suddenly felt hot tears dampening her shoulder and concern flooded her body. "Britt?"

"I-I'm okay." Brittany got out through her sobs. Santana pressed kisses into her hair and just held her, silently letting her know that she was there. Brittany's sobs slowly subsided but she didn't let go of Santana. She sniffled and pressed her face further into Santana's shoulder, causing her voice to come out as a muffled mumble. "You make me feel whole again."

Santana felt tears stinging her own eyes. She slowly managed to free herself from Brittany's bear hug and pulled back to look at her. "Thank you for trusting me." She said softly before kissing her gently on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." Brittany replied with a watery smile. She slowly trailed one finger down the valley of Santana's breasts and rested her hand on the brunette's abs. "Let me…"

"No, it's okay." Santana interrupted her with another kiss. She noticed that Brittany looked tired so she selflessly ignored the throbbing between her legs. "That can wait until another time."

Brittany shook her head and kissed her again, swiping her tongue across Santana's lower lip, earning a soft moan of approval. She placed her hands on Santana's hips and slowly rolled her over onto her back. She gazed into brown orbs and smiled softly. "I want to make you feel good too, Santana."

Santana didn't protest. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and brought her closer until their lips met again. Brittany instantly granted her access and the kiss quickly grew heated as their tongues dueled for dominance. They were soon losing their breath and Brittany started to decorate Santana's neck with open-mouthed kisses, nipping and sucking on tan skin. Santana moaned and settled her hands on Brittany's lower back, urging her down and pressing their centers together.

"Ugh." Brittany groaned, breathing heavily against Santana's neck, the material of Santana's shorts creating the most delicious friction against her sensitive clit. As Brittany started to rock her hips in a steady pace, Santana dug her fingers into the flesh of Brittany's back as she felt the heat building in the pit of her stomach. Brittany forced herself to pull back and rested their foreheads together. "Hi."

Santana couldn't help but chuckle at the innocence of Brittany's words, considering what they were doing. She pressed a kiss to pink lips before she spoke softly. "Baby I love you but please touch me."

Brittany's hands glided over the skin of Santana's stomach, pausing at the scar from her surgery and lightly tracing the outline, a sad feeling squeezing her heart. She inhaled deeply and curled her fingers around the hem of the brunette's shorts, gazing into brown eyes as she slowly pulled them down along with her panties. Brittany swallowed audibly and leaned down to capture her girlfriend's lips in another passionate kiss. Santana moaned and tangled her fingers into Brittany's hair, angling her head to the side to deepen the kiss even more.

Brittany's lips traveled down, sucking hard enough on her neck to leave a small mark before swiping her tongue over the spot. She continued to kiss her way down Santana's neck until she reached Santana's breast. She took an erect nipple between her teeth and lightly bit down on it as one of her hands reached up to Santana's other breast, gently massaging the soft flesh.

"Brittany." Santana groaned, tightening her fingers in Brittany's hair. Brittany got the message and a second later Santana gasped when she felt slender fingers slide through her folds. Brittany attacked Santana's neck with kisses once again as she circled Santana's entrance a few times before slowly inserting two fingers into her slick heat. A deep moan escaped Santana's throat and she pushed herself up against Brittany's hand as the blonde pumped in and out of her in a smooth rhythm. "Please, Britt, faster."

Brittany complied and picked up the speed of her thrusts. She adjusted the angle of her hand so that she could rub small, tight circles over Santana's clit with her thumb, eliciting another loud moan. She pulled Santana in for another kiss that was mostly tongue and teeth, arousal shooting to her core as Santana continued to make the sexiest noises. Santana gasped when Brittany started to grind down on her thigh, spreading her warm wetness over her skin, and she started to move upwards in time with the blonde's thrusts, applying more pressure.

Brittany whimpered softly and buried her face in Santana's neck. "San…"

"I-I'm close." Santana stuttered out. Her whole body was on fire as Brittany curled her fingers inside her core with each deep thrust. Brittany mumbled something incomprehensible, her movements becoming more frantic, her hips pressing down with more force. Santana quickly slid one hand down Brittany's stomach until she reached her clit. She lightly pressed down and felt the small nub twitch under her touch as she started to rub it furiously, rolling it between her thumb and index finger.

Their movements increased to an impossible high speed and it wasn't long before Santana cried out, trapping Brittany's fingers deep inside herself as pleasure rippled through her body. Brittany's thrusts slowed down when she reached her own orgasm a second later, stars of pure bliss exploding behind her eyes. Her arms gave out, causing her to collapse on top of Santana.

Their chests heaved in unison as they tried to catch their breath, their skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. Santana nuzzled her nose into blonde hair and dropped a kiss on Brittany's forehead. "That was amazing."

Brittany hummed in agreement but didn't say anything, too dazed to do anything. Santana's fingers lazily traced patterns on her back, sending her into a state of complete relaxation. They stayed like that for a while and Santana was just starting to think that Brittany had fallen asleep when Brittany suddenly pulled herself upright.

Santana frowned as her girlfriend looked around the room as if she was searching for something. It took a moment for Santana to realize what she was doing and her heart clenched in her chest. She knew that Brittany still had a long way to go but that didn't make it hurt any less. She pulled herself into a seated position as well and wrapped her arms around Brittany from behind, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck. "You don't need to get dressed, baby. Let's just go to sleep."

Brittany looked conflicted. She glanced down at herself and then quickly back up again. "But…"

"Please Brittany." Santana whispered, gently brushing Brittany's hair aside. She pressed a lingering kiss to Brittany's cheek and rested her chin on her girlfriend's shoulder, begging her not to cover herself up.

Brittany hesitated for a moment but then gave her a small, barely visible nod in response.

Santana let out a sigh of relief and gently guided them back down, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist as Brittany rested her head on her chest. She kissed Brittany's forehead and slowly combed her fingers through her hair, knowing that this always calmed her. Santana heard Brittany's breathing even out and she smiled to herself.

It wasn't long before she drifted off into a peaceful sleep too.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18.**

Brittany wiped her brow with a towel as she headed towards her dressing room. She had spent the whole day rehearing with the other dancers, preparing for tonight's performance. Starting today, she would be performing every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Part of her was excited because this was what they had all been working towards for months but part of her was also nervous. This was the first time she would be on stage again after being out of it for over two years and she didn't want to let anyone, and most of all herself, down.

It had been a stressful time. She still worked at Joey's three days a week but longer shifts to make up for the days she was missing. Santana had told her that she could easily just quit her job at the diner altogether but Brittany wanted to have something to fall back on. Besides, she had been working at the place for quite some time now and she had really grown to love all her co-workers. Her decision was appreciated by Joey who didn't want to lose his loyal employee but as a result, Brittany came home exhausted most nights.

Sitting in front of the mirror, Brittany pulled out her phone and smiled when she saw that she had received a text message from her girlfriend. Brittany was too preoccupied to notice the door slowly opening behind her.

"Brittany?" A familiar voice suddenly called out and Brittany's head snapped up in surprise. "It's nice to see you, bug."

"Dad!" Brittany exclaimed as she jumped up and ran up to her father who enveloped her in a warm hug. "What are you doing here?"

"There's no way we're missing your first performance." Martin said, pulling away. "Santana got us tickets. She agreed not to say anything because we wanted to surprise you."

"San was in on this?" Brittany asked as she moved over to her mom to give her a hug as well. Susan smiled and pressed a kiss to her daughter's cheek before they parted. Brittany beamed at them. "I'm really glad that you're here. Where are you staying?"

"At a hotel." Susan informed her. "We're flying back home tomorrow night."

Brittany nodded. "I wish we could spend some time together but I have to be here all day."

"That's okay, honey." Martin assured her. "We can entertain ourselves for a few hours."

"And we're meeting up with Santana for dinner tonight." Susan added.

Brittany couldn't help but smile upon hearing this. It felt nice to know that Santana got along with her parents so well. Before she had the chance to comment on it, her father spoke again, his voice sounding more serious this time. "How have you been, Britt?"

"I've been well." Brittany replied with a non-committal shrug of her shoulders. "I'm still going to therapy and I think I've been making progress."

"That's good to hear." Susan said with a small smile.

Brittany looked down at her feet and didn't say anything. The truth was that the therapy sessions weren't helping that much and that was entirely her own fault. Every time Dr. Hill brought up the accident, Brittany completely closed up and refused to talk about it.

Susan gave her daughter's arm a soft squeeze to regain her attention. "We should probably get going."

Brittany nodded in understanding. "Thanks for coming. It means a lot that you're here."

"There's no need to thank us." Susan replied as she pulled Brittany into a hug. She embraced the younger blonde for several moments before releasing her and smiling widely. "We're proud of you, Brittany."

Brittany smiled shyly and moved over to her dad to give him a hug as well. After they had left the room, Brittany returned to her seat in front of the mirror and sighed heavily. She was nervous but excited at the same time. It felt like there was so much pressure on her, especially now that her parents were here. All she had to do was stay calm and everything would be fine.

* * *

Santana walked to the theater where Brittany's play would take place together with Brittany's parents. They chatted about nothing in particular, the noises from the city filling up the silences. It turned out that Brittany's dad was actually really nice. Santana was glad that he had given her a chance to really get to know each other. She knew how close Brittany was to him so it meant a lot to her that he seemed to accept her now.

They arrived at the theater twenty minutes before the play would start. It was busy inside since it was opening night. Santana imagined that the actors were probably backstage going over their lines one last time while the stage manager ran around checking a thousand little details. She carefully guided Brittany's parents through the large group of people and smiled when she spotted Tina, Mike and Noah in the corner. Brittany had invited them to the show.

"Hey guys." Santana greeted them.

"Mr. and Mrs. P!" Noah said enthusiastically, stepping forward to give Susan a hug before he shook Martin's hand. "It's nice to see you again. I didn't know you were coming."

"It was top secret information." Martin said with a grin, shooting Santana a wink. "We wouldn't miss Brittany's performance for the world."

After they had spent some time getting reacquainted, they made their down the second row where Brittany had reserved seats for them. Santana was sitting next to Noah who was rambling about how proud he was of Brittany. She just shook her head in amusement and listened to him. She thought that the brother/sister relationship he had with her girlfriend was cute. She was certain that there were no romantic feelings involved whatsoever. When she had subtly brought it after Brittany and her had just started dating, they had both looked close to vomiting just at the idea itself.

The lights went down and after a minute or so the curtains slowly rose. Powerful background music and the voices of actors filled the room as a small group of people was revealed. Santana leaned back in her seat and took everything in. The effects were quite impressive for such a small production. The colorful lightning that came from the stage was beautiful. There was a large screen hanging at the back of the stage where various images were displayed whenever the scenes changed.

The spotlight shone on the center of the stage as a group of dancers came out. Santana's eyes were immediately drawn to Brittany and she didn't even notice the rest. With one arm up, the dancers stayed in position waiting for the music's volume to rise. Brittany's hips slowly started to move. Her arm descended and she began to move across the stage gracefully. The audience's eyes were glued to the dancers but none were more fascinated than Santana was. She was enchanted by the magic of Brittany's dancing. Her eyes lit up with every little thing her girlfriend did: the way her body moved to the beat so easily and how it seemed like she was dancing just for her.

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat when the lights turned bright again and the cast and crew did the curtain call. She quickly wiped away the tears that had gathered in the corners of her eyes, not wanting to cry in front of everyone. When she glanced sideways, however, the others looked close to crying as well, all wearing an incredibly proud expression on their face.

After the stage had emptied out, they stood up from their seats and squeezed their way through the ocean of people. They took a seat in the lobby of the theater and ordered some drinks as they waited for Brittany to join them

"You definitely weren't lying when you said that Brittany's a great dancer." Mike spoke up. "I have to say that I'm impressed."

"I'm so proud right now I want to cry." Susan said with a watery chuckle. "I never thought that I'd see my baby dance like that again. Seeing the happiness in her eyes just warms my heart."

"Well, she certainly hasn't lost her skills." Mike commented with a small smile. He had never heard the whole story but from what Tina had told him, he knew that Brittany had been through a lot. "You can tell that she worked hard for this."

"I just hope that she doesn't overdo it." Tina said softly. "Combined with her work at Joey's and all."

Santana nodded in agreement. "Don't worry, I'll make sure that she's alright."

They continued to chat until Brittany walked up to them.

"You guys came!" The blonde said excitedly as she spread her arms to give Noah a hug. After she had greeted everyone, she turned to Santana and kissed her softly on the lips. "Hi, baby."

"Hi." Santana replied with a smile, taking Brittany's hand as she sat down next to her and kissing the back of it. "You were amazing up there and so beautiful."

Brittany blushed at the compliment and Santana looked at her in adoration before she pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Hey lovebirds, get a room." Tina's voice pulled them back to reality.

Everybody laughed and Brittany's face heated up even more. Santana wrapped her arm around her girlfriend's waist as she turned back to the rest. Martin hesitated for a moment before he broke the silence. "You did really well tonight, Britt. Jess would've been so proud of you."

Santana squeezed Brittany's waist in assurance when Brittany tensed up slightly. Brittany swallowed thickly before she flashed her dad a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks, dad."

* * *

At the end of the night, they all went their separate ways and Brittany's parents returned to the hotel they were staying at. Santana and Brittany had agreed to meet up with them for lunch the next day instead of dinner because Brittany had to be at the theater again later in the afternoon.

When they pulled up in front of their apartment building, Santana could tell that Brittany was exhausted. They both got out of the car and Santana grabbed Brittany's bag, insisting on carrying it for her. She placed her hand on her girlfriend's lower back as they made their way inside.

"Do you want something to drink or eat?" Santana asked as she locked the door behind them.

Brittany shook her head and yawned before replying. "No thanks. I'd rather just go to bed if that's okay."

Santana nodded in understanding and moved to stand in front of Brittany, rising slightly on her feet to press a kiss to the taller girl's lips. They made their way into the bedroom and both got changed into some sleeping clothes.

After they had brushed their teeth, Santana removed several pillows from the bed before she pulled back the sheets and slipped underneath them. She let out a content sigh and glanced at Brittany who was silently sitting on the edge of the bed, staring ahead. It was only then that Santana noticed how tense Brittany's body was.

"Britt?" She called out softly. Brittany looked at her and shot her a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Santana frowned worriedly. "What's wrong?"

Brittany averted her gaze down to her lap and sighed sadly. "I…"

"What is it?" Santana asked when it became clear that Brittany wasn't going to continue. Brittany's shoulders dropped a bit and Santana's worry doubled. She pulled herself upright and shuffled closer to Brittany on her knees, gently brushing her hair away and kissing the back of her neck. "Talk to me, babe."

Brittany's eyes nervously flickered up to Santana's before they flickered away again. She released another sigh and slowly reached out for the bedside table, opening the drawer and grabbing the tube of ointment that was in it. Her whole face flushed as she held it up for Santana to see with a shaking hand.

"Britt," Santana whispered when realization washed over her. She placed her hand on Brittany's back and rubbed small circles against the tense muscles there. "You could've told me. Do you want me to help you? I can give you a massage; you're really tense."

"I don't want to bother you." Brittany mumbled softly. Santana's eyebrows pinched together and she opened her mouth to protest but Brittany continued. "I just know that I'll be sore in the morning if I don't use the ointment. I can do it myself. I was actually waiting for you to turn off the light."

Santana's chest tightened and her heart literally felt like it was being squeezed in a vice. She briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Brittany," She began, her voice firm but gentle, dipping her head down to catch Brittany's gaze. "Why are you still hiding from me after all this time? We're living together and I've seen you naked so you really don't have to turn off the light. I love you but this… this isn't working."

Brittany's eyes widened and instantly filled with tears. "You're…" She swallowed thickly and tried again, her voice shaking. "You're breaking up with me?"

"What?" Santana narrowed her eyes. She realized how wrong her words had probably sounded and quickly scrambled to fix it. "No, Britt. That's not what I meant." She went to brush the hair away from Brittany's face but Brittany dodged her hand and shot up off the bed. "Brittany…"

"I should've expected this." Brittany mumbled to herself as she started to pace back and forth, frantically rubbing her arm. "I should've known that this was too good to be true. I'm such an idiot! How could I not have seen this coming?"

"Brittany." Santana said louder this time, rising to her feet as well.

"Why?" Brittany whispered brokenly as tears started to roll down her cheeks. "Why did this happen to me?"

"Brittany, please listen to me." Santana took a step forwards so that she was standing directly in front of her girlfriend. "You need to start trusting me. You need to start believing that I'm in this for good. I thought you agreeing to move in with me meant that you were finally ready to give yourself to me fully but apparently I was wrong."

"I-I don't get it." Brittany replied with a furrowed brow, taking a step backwards. "I do trust you and I have given myself to you fully. We made love for the first time and it was perfect."

"It was." Santana agreed with a small smile. "And I didn't mind that you wanted to turn off the lights because I thought that you just needed time and that you would eventually start to realize that you don't have to hide from me. But that was weeks ago and we still can't be intimate without having to turn the lights off. Hell, you can't even undress in front of me without turning away."

"I'm sorry." Brittany's voice sounded so soft that Santana almost didn't hear her. Her bottom lip quivered as more tears escaped her eyes. "I just feel so… _ugly_."

"Oh honey." Santana said in an equally soft tone as she closed the distance between them and pulled Brittany into her arms. Brittany's head dropped to Santana's shoulder and she sniffled in defeat. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you this but you're beautiful."

"I hate my scars." Brittany mumbled tiredly, her eyes closed.

Santana felt her throat constrict painfully. She pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple and gently ran her fingers through blonde locks. "Do you hate them for what they look like or for what they represent?"

"Both." Brittany's voice sounded muffled against Santana's shoulder. "It hurts to look at them. They remind me of everything I've lost."

Santana was silent as she tried to think of something to say. It felt like words simply weren't enough right now.

"I love you, Brittany." She spoke softly, pressing her lips just below Brittany's ear. "I'm not going to do something therapeutic like force you to look at yourself in the mirror and try to convince you that you're beautiful because this isn't some cheesy movie, this is real life and I know that there isn't some magic fix that can suddenly make you see what I see. All I want is for you to trust me but that's not going to happen if you refuse to try."

"I don't know how." Brittany whined, sounding frustrated with herself.

"Small steps, babe." Santana said gently, pressing a kiss to the smooth skin of Brittany's neck. "I suggest we start with you accepting my help when you need it." She released Brittany from her embrace and smiled warmly at her. Blue eyes followed her curiously as she turned around and grabbed the tube of ointment. "Please let me do it for you, Britt."

Brittany's eyes darted around Santana's face before she swallowed nervously and nodded. "Okay."

Santana smiled reassuringly and calmly offered Brittany her hand. Brittany met Santana's gaze and took a deep breath, taking the outstretched hand. Santana gently ran her thumb over Brittany's knuckles and waited until the blonde had stripped down to her underwear before she gave her a soft kiss.

Brittany flashed her a small smile but didn't say anything. Santana crossed the room to turn off the overhead lamp and then turned on the bedside lamp, creating just enough light. Brittany's gaze remained lowered as she slowly positioned herself on the bed, tilting her head to the side so that she could see Santana. The brunette gently straddled Brittany's hips and poured some ointment into her hands before her fingers started to delicately move over Brittany's naked back.

Santana became a little worried when Brittany's body was still incredibly stiff a few minutes into the massage, afraid that no progress had been made at all, but to her relief, the blonde slowly started to relax as Santana used long strokes to work out the knots of tension in her shoulders. A smile spread across Santana's face when Brittany let out a soft hum of delight, her eyes closed and her features graced with a calm expression.

After every drop of ointment had been absorbed into Brittany's warm skin, Santana leaned down and gently kissed the back of her neck before she climbed off her girlfriend who had fallen asleep not too long ago. Santana quickly cleaned everything up and turned off the bedside lamp.

She crawled into bed next to Brittany and lazily wrapped her arm around the other girl's waist, nuzzling her nose into her hair and sighing contentedly. "I love you."

Brittany didn't verbally respond but shifted closer to Santana in her sleep.

* * *

It was around 3 AM when Santana was woken up to the sound of Brittany whimpering in her sleep. The brunette blearily cracked her eyes open and her heart dropped to her stomach. Brittany was clenching the sheets tightly in her fists, her whole body was shaking as she fought against something that Santana couldn't see.

The sight of Brittany being in the grips of a nightmare had become way too familiar to Santana. It had been a few weeks since the opening night of the play and Brittany had been more exhausted than ever. She hardly had time to rest and the few hours of sleep she got at night were restless. Santana was worried that performing three days a week on top of working at Joey's was all becoming too much for her.

"Britt, wake up." She whispered in her girlfriend's ear, gently brushing the hair away from her sweaty face. Brittany continued to toss and turn so Santana slightly raised her voice and shook her a little harder. "Come on, babe."

Brittany suddenly inhaled deeply and lurched forward, almost crashing into Santana. The brunette crawled into Brittany's line of vision and her eyes met frightened blue ones.

"It was just a nightmare, Britt." She informed her in a soft tone, reaching out to gently rub her hand across Brittany's back, her loose t-shirt now damp with sweat. "You're safe. I'm right here."

Brittany's shoulders slumped as a sigh of relief escaped her lips and Santana took this as a sign that it was okay to pull her into a hug. Brittany's body was still shaking and Santana realized that she was crying when she felt wetness on her shoulder. Sighing sadly, Santana tightened her arms around her girlfriend and gently rocked her back and forth, swaying from side to side, until she calmed down a bit. Santana pulled back slightly to meet Brittany's red-rimmed eyes.

"Are you okay now?" She asked, gently wiping Brittany's tears away with her thumbs.

Brittany had a lost look in her eyes and her eyebrows were furrowed slightly in a troubled expression. Santana took her hand and brought it to her lips, kissing each of her knuckles.

"Talk to me, Britt. You've been having nightmares more often than usual. What's going on, babe?"

"Nothing." Brittany sniffled miserably.

Santana sighed and guided her so that the both of them were lying down again. Brittany nestled her head on Santana's chest and Santana draped her arms around the blonde's waist protectively. She bit her lip and hesitated for a moment before bringing up what had been on her mind for weeks now. "Britt, do you think that maybe you should slow down a bit?"

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked as if Santana had just asked her the strangest question in the world.

"Maybe you should reconsider quitting your job at Joey's." Santana suggested carefully, combing her fingers through Brittany's long hair. "You don't really need the money anymore now that we're living together and the extra hours on top of dancing are obviously stressing you out."

"No, they're not." Brittany protested stubbornly. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Brittany." Santana said with a sigh. She didn't want to upset Brittany so she took a moment to think over her next words. "I know that you don't want to let Joey down but you have to think of yourself. I'm sure he'll understand."

When Brittany didn't respond, Santana looked down and saw that her eyes were closed. She sighed and kissed the top of her head. If Brittany said that she could handle it, Santana had to trust her. She would definitely address the subject again though. Brittany's nightmares never failed to break her heart and she never wanted to see Brittany like that. She pulled the covers further over them and closed her eyes, hoping to get a few more hours of sleep.

* * *

"Hey Britt?" Santana asked softly as she pushed the food around her plate. She glanced at Brittany who was sitting next to her at the table, looking pale and tired. Brittany nodded at her, silently letting her know that she was listening, so Santana continued. "Do you still have Andrea's number?"

Brittany looked at her intently before her eyes dropped back to her plate. "Why?"

"I thought about it and maybe I should give her a chance." Santana shrugged. "What do you think?"

"Santana," Brittany began, dropping her fork and turning in her seat to face her girlfriend. "You know that I'll support whatever decision you make but are you sure this is a good idea? I don't want her to upset you."

"Of course I'm not sure." Santana replied with a sigh. She stood up and picked up both their plates to bring them to the sink. "I'm actually kind of scared." She admitted, getting a sympathetic look from Brittany. "But I need to know if she has really changed. I need to know if there's a chance that I can have my cousin back. I'll never know if I don't talk to her."

"I understand." Brittany said with a thoughtful expression on her face. "I just don't want you to get hurt, baby. You're finally starting to move past everything that has happened with your parents and now Andrea suddenly showed up out of nowhere. I just… I don't know, San. Maybe you should give it more time."

Santana chewed on her bottom lip as she processed Brittany's words. "Where is the number?"

Brittany sighed. "I put it in my wallet."

"Is it in your purse?" Santana asked. Brittany nodded and watched as Santana crossed the room, rummaging through her purse in search for her wallet. Once she had retrieved the piece of paper with Andrea's number on it, she stared at it for a long time before she put it in the top drawer of the dresser. "You're right. It's too soon. But I'm keeping it somewhere safe for when I change my mind."

Brittany shot her a warm smile but didn't say anything. Santana walked over to where Brittany was still seated and gently nudged her knees apart so that she could stand in between them. She placed her hands on either side of Brittany's neck and let her thumbs tenderly stroke the undersides of her jaw. "How late do you have your appointment with Dr. Hill?"

Brittany glanced at the clock and then back at Santana again. "In two hours."

"Are you going to head to Joey's right after?" Santana asked.

Brittany nodded, her eyes closed.

"We won't see each other until tonight then." Santana told her softly. She leaned down and pressed a light kiss to Brittany's lips, smiling when blue eyes slowly fluttered open.

Brittany smiled. She tilted her face up and Santana grinned in understanding before she captured the blonde's lips in another sweet kiss. They pulled away and Brittany happily blinked up at Santana. "Have a nice day at work."

"You too, babe." Santana replied before she reluctantly stepped away from her girlfriend.

Brittany followed the brunette with her eyes as she moved around the apartment to gather all her things. It only took a few minutes before she was out the door, leaving Brittany alone with her thoughts.

Brittany sat there for a few more minutes before slowly dragging herself into the bedroom to get dressed.

A little under two hours later, Brittany was sitting in the waiting area outside of Dr. Hill's office. She nervously played with her fingers as she stared down at her lap. It wasn't that she didn't want therapy to help her, it was just so much harder to open up about everything than she had first anticipated. She sighed sadly and briefly closed her eyes when a voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"Ms. Pierce, Dr. Hill is ready to see you now."

Brittany smiled at the receptionist before she got to her feet and headed into Dr. Hill's office. She sat down in the armchair and nodded at Dr. Hill who was looking at her patiently. "Hi."

"Hello Brittany." Dr. Hill greeted her with a smile. "How are we doing today?"

Brittany pressed her lips together in a tight line and nodded once. "Better."

"Are your nightmares still occurring?"

A pause. "Sometimes."

Dr. Hill narrowed his eyes skeptically. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Another pause. "Not really."

The therapist looked at Brittany for a moment before writing something down on his notepad. A few moments of silence passed and Brittany shifted uncomfortably in her seat as she waited for Dr. Hill to speak again.

"Brittany." He began in a serious tone. "You need to start talking about your problems or else I won't be able to help you. I understand that it's hard but you can trust me."

Brittany sighed and glanced away from him. "I know."

"Why don't we try something different?" Dr. Hill suggested as he folded his hands together. Brittany just looked at him in confusion so he explained. "I'll do the talking and all you have to do is listen. Is that okay?"

"Sure." Brittany shrugged.

"Okay, I'll start with what I already know about you." Brittany shifted in her seat again, her fingers nervously picking at the leather of the armchair. "A little over two years ago, you were in a plane crash that left you with severe scarring to part of your body. You decided to give therapy a try after having a panic attack, which led me to prescribe you some anti-anxiety medication. The most stressful factor in your life right now appears to be your nightmares. You haven't told me much about them other than that the events in them are often similar to the plane crash except that it now involves loved ones who weren't there at the time. You have also briefly mentioned your friend Jess who tragically die-…"

"Please stop." Brittany pleaded, her voice barely above a whisper. Her eyes were squeezed shut and she was biting down on her bottom lip so hard that she was able to taste blood. The flashbacks that always came back to haunt her whenever Jess was mentioned filled her mind and she had to force herself to not curl up into a ball and rock back and forth until they would leave her alone. Everything was fine. She was safe here.

"Brittany?" Dr. Hill's worried voice pulled Brittany back to reality. She hadn't even realize how heavy her breathing was until now. Her eyes snapped open to meet the therapist's concerned ones. "What are you thinking about right now?"

"Nothing." Brittany frantically shook her head and quickly shot to her feet. "I have to go."

"Brittany…" Dr. Hill tried but Brittany was already halfway out the door. "Will I see you next week?"

Brittany glanced over her shoulder and mumbled a quick, "I don't know."

With that she left the office and hurriedly made her way outside. It wasn't until then that she realized that she had failed to open up _again_ and anger that was directed towards nobody but herself flooded her body. Of course it was hard to talk about her nightmares, how could anyone possibly talk about something so horrible? But she understood that the only way she would get better was if she learned how to open up.

* * *

"Brittany?" Santana called out when she got home that night. She had been held up at work because of an unexpected meeting so Brittany should already be there. Shrugging out of her coat, Santana frowned in confusion when she received no response. She walked further into the apartment and a small smile found its way to her lips when she saw that her girlfriend was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. Santana quietly knelt down beside the sleeping blonde and gently pressed her lips to her forehead. "Babe?"

Brittany stirred but didn't wake up. She was still wearing her work uniform so Santana figured that she must've fallen asleep a while ago. Santana sighed and gently traced the outline of Brittany's jaw with her fingertips before moving up to the skin between her eyebrows, smoothing out the crease that had almost become a permanent fixture on her face whenever she slept. Santana gently kissed the tip of Brittany's nose and a second later, the blonde's eyes slowly fluttered open, revealing tired blue orbs.

"San?" She whispered groggily as she brought her hands to her eyes to rub the sleep out of them.

"Are you okay, Britt?" Santana asked softly, running her fingers through Brittany's hair. Brittany didn't reply and let her head lazily roll to the side, her eyes closing again, as Santana's fingers gently massaged her scalp. "I'm worried about you, honey."

"Don't be." Brittany murmured, forcing her heavy eyelids open. "I'm fine."

"You're always tired and your nightmares have been getting worse." Santana replied with a frown, causing Brittany to sigh and slowly pulled herself into a seated position. Santana quickly sat down next to her girlfriend. "I want to trust you when you say that you can handle things but I'm the one who has to calm you down every night."

Brittany guiltily looked away. "I'm sorry, San."

"I'm not upset with you." Santana replied quickly, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I just don't want you to wear yourself out. Please consider the suggestion that I made about quitting your job at Joey's."

"I don't want to do that." Brittany insisted with a firm shake of her head. "My body and mind just have to get used to this new routine. Once they have, I'm positive that my nightmares will lessen and everything will go back to normal."

Santana pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Have you discussed any of this with Dr. Hill?"

She felt Brittany's muscles tense up at the mention of her therapist. The blonde took a moment to compose herself before answering the question. "Why would I?"

"Because he's your therapist?" Santana exclaimed in disbelief. Brittany just continued to stubbornly stare ahead and Santana realized that pushing her would probably just have the opposite effect. She released a breath before continuing to speak in a softer tone. "Okay, if you don't want to quit, will you at least consider taking a few days off in the near future so you can have some time to relax?"

Brittany pursed her lips and thought about it for a moment. "Fine."

Santana smiled in satisfaction and placed her hand on Brittany's cheek, turning her face towards her. She stroked her thumb over pale skin and gazed into blue eyes for a moment before she leaned in and captured Brittany's lips in a soft kiss. Brittany sighed into her mouth and relaxed instantly, kissing her back just as gently. They slowly pulled away and Santana was the first one to speak. "I love you."

The corners of Brittany's lips quirked up into a soft smile. "I love you too."

"Why don't you go take a shower while I fix us something to eat?" Santana suggested.

Britany nodded and pecked her on the lips once more before getting up. Santana watched silently as her girlfriend left the room. She sighed heavily and sat there for another moment before she pushed herself to her feet and made her way into the kitchen to prepare a late dinner.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19.**

"Babe, why haven't you changed yet?" A soft voice interrupted Santana from her nap. She groaned and buried her face further into the cushions of the couch. She had gotten home from work not too long ago and had somehow managed to fall asleep. Just as she was about to drift off again, she suddenly felt cold fingers drag over the exposed skin between her shirt and the hem of jeans.

"Brittany!" Santana whined, slowly lifting her head so that her eyes met blue ones.

"We have dinner plans, remember?" Brittany told her sweetly, causing Santana's annoyance to disappear instantly. It was rare these days that Brittany was in such a happy mood. The lack of sleep made her quiet and even a little distant at times. The blonde sat down on the edge of the couch and reached out to brush the messy hair out of Santana's eyes. "We should take a cab there so we can both have a drink."

"With whom are we going again?" Santana asked as she pulled herself upright.

"Quinn." Brittany pursed her lips and hesitated for a moment before adding, "And she invited Rachel."

Santana sighed and rolled her eyes. "What in the world gave her the idea that I want to spend my free time listening to that hobbit's endless yapping?"

"San!" Brittany scolded her, giving her a disapproving look. "Don't be mean. I've only met Rachel once but she seemed nice. Besides, I haven't had time to go out in weeks and I've been looking forward to this all day."

"Fine." Santana mumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. "But if the dwarf does anything to annoy me, I'm out of there."

"I thought you liked her." Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion. Her eyes scanned Santana's face for a moment before she spoke again. "I get that you're grumpy because I woke you up but we have to leave soon so get your butt in the shower."

Santana raised her eyebrows. "I'm not some kid who gets grumpy when they're tired."

"Hmm." Brittany hummed with a smirk. Santana opened her mouth to protest but Brittany quickly leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to her lips. She held the contact for a moment before she pulled away. "Please just go get ready, San."

Santana tried to glare at Brittany but found herself smiling instead. She looked at the clock and her eyes widened when she saw what time it was.

"It's this late already?" Brittany nodded sheepishly and Santana shot up, almost tripping over her own feet in her rush to get to the bathroom. "How am I supposed to get ready in thirty minutes?"

"Dramatic much?" Brittany asked with an amused look on her face.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later than agreed on, they arrived at the restaurant where Quinn and Rachel had already gotten them a table. Santana watched as Brittany gave both of them a hug before she stepped forward herself and did the same thing.

"Hobbit." She nodded at Rachel, earning a light smack on the arm from Brittany. "I mean Berry." Another smack. "Rachel."

"It's so nice to see you again, Santana." Rachel said with a bright smile, causing Santana to raise her eyebrows in surprise. Rachel seemed genuinely happy to see her so Santana decided to try to be nice for once.

She took a seat next to Brittany and started to flip through the menu. She hadn't even read the first word yet when Rachel started rambling about some musical. Santana knew about her obsession with Broadway and she inwardly rolled her eyes; this was going to be a long night. Her eyes scanned the busy restaurant while sipping from the glass of wine that Quinn had thankfully already ordered before they got there. Alcohol made everything more bearable, even listening to Rachel. Her eyes met the ones of the waitress that was not-so-subtly staring at her from across the room. The blonde smirked in a suggestive way and Santana quickly glanced away.

"Babe?" Brittany's questioning voice pulled Santana from her thoughts. Santana turned to look at her and Brittany shot her a small smile, placing her hand on her thigh. "Rachel asked you a question."

"Yes, I did." Rachel confirmed. "There's open mic night at this fancy bar every Thursday. I know it's nothing special for someone who is destined to make it on Broadway but who am I to pass up on an opportunity to showcase my amazing talent?"

Santana looked at her in disbelief for a second before she spoke. "If you and your huge ego are so sure of themselves, why are you working as Will's assistant instead of making it on Broadway?"

Rachel's smile faltered slightly and a light blush appeared on her cheeks. "I'm working on it, okay?"

"Sure." Santana muttered. "So, what was your question?"

"I was wondering if you would like to join me sometime." Rachel said excitedly. "I'd love to hear your professional opinion."

Santana scrunched up her nose at the idea of hanging out with Rachel. She wanted to say something that would definitely go against her plan to be nice to her but Quinn was looking at her with pleading eyes so she forced a smile on her face and nodded. "We'll see."

"How are things going with the play?" Quinn asked Brittany before Rachel had the chance to say anything else, much to Santana's relief.

Santana smiled as Brittany started to speak happily. Despite her exhaustion, she was really enjoying dancing again and Santana loved seeing her so happy. The sparkle in her eyes never failed to warm her heart. She just wished that Brittany would stop being so stubborn and just quit her job at Joey's already. Santana understood that Brittany was afraid of disappointing Joey but she couldn't please everyone all the time and there's nothing wrong with putting yourself first.

"Good evening, ladies. Can I take your orders?" A voice suddenly asked. Santana looked up to see the same waitress that had been staring at her before standing there. The blonde flashed her a smile and Santana awkwardly returned it. After everyone had ordered, the attention was focused on Santana and it was then that she realized that she hadn't really looked at the menu properly yet.

"Um, do you have any recommendations?"

"Of course." The waitress said a little too excitedly. She moved closer to Santana and leaned down so that their faces were closely apart, reaching out to point at the menu. "Our ravioli is amazing so I'd definitely try that if you like Italian food and…"

Brittany clenched her jaw angrily as the waitress continued to speak. The way she was leaning in made it seem like she was trying to hear Santana better but Brittany knew that she was obviously flirting with her girlfriend. Her hand was still placed on Santana's thigh and her fingers unconsciously dug further into the brunette's skin through the material of her jeans, causing Santana to look at her and frown. Brittany didn't notice though. She was too busy glaring at the waitress.

"So, what do you think?"

"Huh?" Santana mumbled, her eyes snapping back up to the waitress. The waitress nodded at the menu and realization washed over Santana's features. "Oh, uh, the ravioli sounds great."

"Fantastic." The waitress cheered before she scribbled it down on her notepad. Her eyes moved up and down Santana's body and lingered on her cleavage a lot longer than necessary. Brittany's anger intensified and she was pretty sure that her nostrils were even flaring by now. To make matters worse, the waitress extended her hand. "I'm Kate, by the way."

Santana seemed surprised but shook her hand anyway. "Santana."

"It's nice to meet you, Santana." Kate said with a seductive smirk. Brittany's blood was boiling and her hands were trembling with fury. She couldn't believe how Kate was openly flirting with someone who was obviously in a relationship. The worst thing of it all was that Santana wasn't doing anything about it. Kate held onto Santana's hand for another moment before she reluctantly let go of it. "I'll be right back with your orders."

"Thanks." Santana smiled politely, waiting until the waitress had walked away. It was then that she noticed the way Brittany's hand was trembling on her thigh and she quickly covered it with her own, squeezing it in affection. She turned her face to look at Brittany and her brow furrowed in concern at the amount of anger that Brittany's normally clear blue eyes held. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Brittany just huffed and abruptly pulled her hand away.

Santana's frown deepened. "Britt?"

"Are you serious, Santana?" Quinn asked, her eyebrows pinching together in disbelief. "Don't tell me that you actually didn't notice that you were being flirted with." Santana just continued to stare at her in confusion and she let out a soft chuckle, doing her best to mimic the waitress' voice. "It's nice to meet you, Santana."

"Shut up, Fabray!" Santana exclaimed, annoyed. "So what if she was flirting with me? I didn't flirt back so I don't see what the problem is."

"You could've said something about it." Brittany mumbled from beside her.

"Britt." Santana couldn't help but smile a little, reaching out to take Brittany's hand in her own. "There's really no need to be worried. You know that you're the only one for me." She pressed a lingering kiss to Brittany's cheek and it instantly tinted a light shade of pink, making Santana smile in adoration. "I promise."

"I know, San. I trust you." Brittany said softly. "I just don't like her, that's all."

Santana squeezed her girlfriend's hand to show her understanding. She knew that Brittany could be a bit insecure at times.

Rachel dove into another long story about something that Santana didn't care about and before she knew it, the waitress was back with their orders.

"Here you go." She said with a smile as she placed the food in front of them.

"Thanks." Santana mumbled. She glanced at Brittany sideways and saw that the blonde was once again wearing an unfamiliar expression of anger on her face. Santana hoped that the waitress would just go away.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen. "Can I have your number, beautiful?"

The blunt question caught Santana off guard and she stared back at Kate in shock for a few seconds before she was able to function again. She opened her mouth to reply but Brittany beat her to it.

"No, you can't." She snapped, an uncharacteristically amount of venom in her voice. "She's here with me so I'd appreciate it if you and your unprofessionalism would leave us alone."

"Excuse me?" Kate let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"You heard her." Quinn said in a low voice from across the table.

Kate huffed and mumbled something under her breath before she turned to walk away.

Santana was still in shock by her rudeness and continued to stare at her retreating form until Rachel's voice brought her back to reality. "Unbelievable."

"We should get her fired." Quinn added. "She can't just hit on customers and think she can get away with it."

They continued to discuss the situation but Santana focused her attention on her girlfriend who was silently staring ahead, pushing the food around on her plate. Santana hesitated for a moment before she placed her hand on Brittany's thigh and spoke in a soft voice. "Are you mad at me?"

"No." Brittany mumbled, still avoiding eye-contact. She knew that she was being ridiculous. Santana hadn't done anything so there was no reason to be upset. Sometimes she still found it hard to believe that Santana actually wanted to be with her and she let her insecurities get the best of her. There were girls practically lining up for Santana and Brittany, already feeling like she wasn't good enough, was constantly worried that Santana would leave her for someone more beautiful than her. She was so afraid that Santana would get tired of having to deal with her nightmares and fears.

"Britt?" Santana's concerned voice snapped her out of thoughts.

"I'm not mad at you, Santana." Brittany said, her voice coming out harsher than intended. Santana's face fell and Brittany instantly felt bad. She sighed and covered the brunette's hand with her own, gently running her thumb over the tan skin. "I'm sorry. Let's just forget about it and enjoy our time together, okay?"

"Okay." Santana agreed with a small smile.

* * *

The rest of the diner was uneventful. Kate didn't try to hit on Santana again, much to everyone's relief. They split the cheque after they had finished eating and decided to go out for drinks. The bar they had agreed to go to was pretty crowded but they luckily managed to find themselves a booth on the side. After they had gotten settled in, Santana offered to go get drinks.

"Hey there." A voice suddenly said from beside her as she leaned against the bar, waiting for the slow bartender to do his job. She looked up and let out a frustrated sigh when she saw a tall, dark-haired guy standing there, a cocky smirk in place. "Whoa, I hope you know CPR because you take my breath away."

"What do you want?" Santana asked him in a bored tone. She was so not in the mood for this.

"You're a feisty one." He chuckled. "I like it. What do you say babe, want to get out of here?"

"First of all, I'm not your babe." Santana began, turning around to face him. "And second of all, I'd rather be kicked in the head repeatedly than go anywhere with you. Now get lost and take your giant ego with you, ass face."

"Calm down, woman. I was just saying, you're hot, I'm hot. We could have a good time together." He said with a wink. Santana narrowed her eyes at him. She was just about to give him another verbal smackdown when a familiar voice spoke up from behind her.

"Leave her alone." Santana turned around and her eyes met blue ones. Brittany stepped forward and angrily jabbed a finger into the guy's chest, causing him to raise his hands in defense. "She's not available so go be a pathetic asshole somewhere else."

He looked at the blonde for a moment before he shrugged and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Brittany crossed her arms over her chest as she faced Santana. "Is it national 'hit on my girlfriend day' or something?"

"You know I could've handled it myself, right?" Santana's lips quirked up into an amused smile.

"Then why didn't you?" Brittany asked accusingly.

Santana's smile fell and she frowned. "I was taking care of it when you showed up."

"It didn't seem like you were."

"What are you trying to say, Brittany?" Santana snapped, frustration building up inside of her.

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled as her eyes glazed over.

Santana opened and closed her mouth a few times but wasn't able to form any words. She watched as Brittany stormed off and released a heavy sigh. Brittany's behavior confused her. There was no reason to feel threatened, especially of a guy. It hurt Santana that Brittany apparently had so little trust in her. Was she really that insecure?

Santana waited for their drinks before making her way back to their booth. She was surprised not to find Brittany there. "Where's Britt?"

"I don't know." Quinn shrugged as she took her drink from her friend. "I thought she was with you."

"Damn it." Santana mumbled, sliding into her seat.

"Did you do something to upset her?" Rachel asked.

Santana shot her an annoyed glare. "Now why would you think that, hobbit?"

"You're not even that much taller than me!" Rachel protested in a high-pitched voice.

"Whatever." Santana mumbled, taking a sip from her drink. She sighed in contentment as the alcohol slid down her throat and quickly took another sip. Her eyes scanned the bar and her heart skipped a beat in relief when she spotted Brittany. The blonde was standing in the corner, watching as couples danced to the music. Her eyes were downcast and Santana sighed sadly, pushing her drink away as she got to her feet. "I'll be right back."

As Santana approached Brittany, her brow creased with worry when her girlfriend tipped back the glass in her hand and drained the contents. "Slow down, babe." She commented softly, coming to a stop directly in front of her. She placed her hand on Brittany's arm. "Please don't be like this."

"Like what?" Brittany snapped, shrugging her hand off.

"Stop accusing me of something that I didn't do!" Santana raised her voice as well. She had never experienced this side of Brittany and she didn't like it in the slightest. "You know that I would never, ever cheat on you. I can't believe that's really something you're concerned about."

"I just want to be alone for a while." Brittany replied, averting her gaze away.

"Are you really going to let your delusional ideas ruin our night?" Santana asked in disbelief. "I'm so tired of this, Brittany! What the hell is your problem?"

"I don't fucking know, okay?" Brittany yelled, startling Santana. "I don't understand myself most of the time so how can I explain it to you?" She paused and took a deep breath. "If you're going to end up leaving me for someone else, just do it now."

"What?" Santana stammered, shocked.

By the time Santana's mind was working again, Brittany was already gone. Her eyes frantically searched the place until they landed on the blonde who was now standing by the bar, gulping down another drink. Santana quickly walked up to her and curled her fingers around her wrist, staring at her with a hard expression. Brittany growled and yanked her wrist out of Santana's grip. "What?"

"Getting drunk isn't going to help, Brittany." Santana said in a firm tone. "Come with me."

"No."

"Stop acting like a child!" Santana yelled in frustration. A few people looked at her curiously and her cheeks turned red in embarrassment. She took a deep breath and leaned closer to Brittany, softening her tone. "Please just come with me. We need to talk."

Brittany scowled at her but did as requested. Santana guided Brittany into the bathroom, forcing the few people inside to leave by using her usual lie about there being a fire, and shut the door behind them. She slowly turned to face Brittany and spoke in a calm voice, thinking that would be the best approach. "I'm not exactly sure why you're acting like this but it's pissing me off. I have given you no reason to think that I'd ever cheat on you and frankly, it hurts that you would even suggest that."

Brittany crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at her feet, scowl, still in place.

"Brittany, can we just have a normal conversation?" Santana took a step in her direction. Brittany shook her head and Santana couldn't hold in her frustration this time. "Look at me, damn it!"

"What do you want me to say?" Brittany's eyes snapped up to hers.

"I want you to tell me why you won't trust me!"

"I do trust you, Santana!" Brittany yelled back, letting her arms fall down her sides. "And I know that you would never cheat on me."

"Then what is your problem?"

Brittany turned away from her and clenched her hands into fists, desperately trying to hold back her tears. "I always do this, okay?" She admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I always let my stupid insecurities get the best of me and I push people away. All this just seems too good to be true and there's this constant voice in my head telling me that it can't last forever."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "Britt, I love you more than I love anyone else in this world and I promise you that I'm not going anywhere."

"You feel that way now." Brittany replied, her voice wavering. "But one day you'll get tired. You'll get tired of having to deal with my nightmares and fears. You'll get disgusted with my scars. You'll realize that you can do so much better than me and that's when you'll leave."

Santana frowned. "None of that is going to happen. I have no idea what I can do or say to convince you but please, Brittany, stop doing this to yourself. You're going to make yourself sick with all these worries."

Brittany sighed, turning to face her.

"I don't understand where all this is suddenly coming from." Santana said softly. "I thought you were getting better. Aren't your therapy sessions with Dr. Hill helping?"

"I might never get better." Brittany stumbled backwards, her eyes abruptly turning cold and guarded again. "If that's something you can't deal with then just leave me already."

Santana frowned and followed her, placing her hands on her shoulders to steady her. "I already told you that I'm not leaving." She said, studying Brittany's features. Santana could see the vulnerability in Brittany's eyes underneath the coldness and it broke her heart. "Did something happen? I feel like I'm missing something."

Brittany jaw twitched as she clenched it. There was a pause before her soft reply sounded. "No."

"Are you sure?" Santana asked, not quite convinced. Brittany nodded. "Okay, well as soon as you can get a few days off, I think we should spend some time together. Just the two of us."

"Where do you want to go?" Brittany asked, a small smile forming on her lips.

"Anywhere you want to go." Santana replied with a shrug.

Brittany chewed on her bottom lip as she tried to think of something. "How about," She started, her eyes glistening mischievously. "We go camping?"

Santana's eyes widened slightly and she quickly shook her head. "No way."

"But you said that I could choose." Brittany protested with a pout.

"Anything but that."

"What's wrong with camping?"

"Why would anyone willingly want to sleep outside?"

Brittany rolled her eyes. "We won't be sleeping outside. We'll be sleeping in a tent."

"That's basically the same thing." Santana insisted.

"Please, San. I promise that it'll be fun." Brittany said sweetly, pressing a kiss to Santana's cheek. "We can go hiking in the mountains and then spend the night somewhere romantic, watching the sunset and cuddling by the... _fire_. Doesn't that sound amazing?"

Santana sighed. "It does."

"Is that a yes?"

Santana was still reluctant but Brittany seemed really excited and Santana just wanted to make her happy. She hoped that spending some time alone would give them the chance to have a good conversation about things. That's why she found herself nodding. "Fine."

Brittany grinned and pulled the shorter girl into a hug, nuzzling her nose into dark hair. "Thank you."

Santana smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Brittany's neck. "Does this mean that you're officially not mad at me anymore?"

Brittany pulled back and guiltily looked away. "I had no right to be mad at you, San." She said quietly. "I don't know what got into me. Sometimes I just get so down about myself and I take it out on everyone around me. You've been nothing but kind to me so you don't deserve that at all." Her eyes met Santana's again before she added, "I'm really sorry."

"Thanks for apologizing. It's okay." Santana brushed a strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "Let's go back to Rachel and Quinn and enjoy what's left of our night."

Brittany smiled and took Santana's hand. She brought it to her lips and pressed a kiss to tan fingers. "I do really appreciate everything you've done for me, San. I hope you know that."

"Yeah, I know." Santana replied softly.

She raised a bit on her toes to capture Brittany's lips in a gentle kiss. Brittany snaked an arm around Santana's waist and brought her closer, their bodies pressed together. They stood there for several moments, their lips slowly moving together, until they reluctantly pulled away. Santana clasped their hands together and they left the bathroom, the tension between them no longer there.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20.**

Santana shut off the engine of the car and turned in her seat to face her girlfriend. After hours of driving, they had finally reached the small town that had been chosen as their destination for their camping trip. Brittany had fallen asleep not too long ago and her head was resting against the window. Santana smiled and gently nudged the blonde's knee.

"Babe, wake up. We're here."

Brittany slowly opened her eyes and looked around with a confused expression on her face. "What?"

"We're here." Santana repeated, letting out a soft chuckle. She gave Brittany's knee a soft squeeze before retracting her hand. "Let's go."

They both climbed out of the car and took a moment to look around.

"It's beautiful." Brittany whispered in awe.

The road overlooked a waterfall surrounded by thick trees and wild flowers. The grass swayed to the wind and was illuminated by the bright sun. The sound of Santana slamming the trunk shut disturbed the silence but only briefly. She slung their bags over her shoulders and moved to stand next to Brittany. Her heart swelled with adoration when she saw the sparkle in those bright blue eyes she loved so much.

Brittany took one of the bags and clasped their hands together as they began to make their way to the ranger station a few meters ahead. The door cracked open and they were greeted by the sound of some country song playing in the background. The heads of animals littered the walls, deer but also wolves and bears. Santana shuddered and could only hope that they were fake. For some reason this place really freaked her out.

"Is everything okay?" Brittany asked with a small frown.

Santana nodded and shot her an assuring smile. She placed her hand on the small of Brittany's back and guided her to the front desk. The man that was sitting behind it had his back turned to them and appeared to be reading a book. Santana cleared her throat but received no response. She sighed impatiently and tapped on the service bell.

The man held up one finger, gesturing for them to wait. Santana rolled her eyes but decided to be polite and didn't say anything. A minute later, the man closed his book and stood up. He grabbed his hat from the wall on his way over and put it on his head. He nodded at them. "What can I do for you two?"

"Um…" Santana stammered, unsure of how to explain. Just at that moment, Brittany picked up a brochure and began to study it. The ranger smiled knowingly.

"Let me guess, it's your first time here and you don't quite know where to begin?"

Santana nodded sheepishly. "Yeah, something like that."

"Let's get you started with one of these." The ranger said. He grabbed a small map and spread it out on the desk. "How long are you folks hiking for?"

"A couple of days." Santana replied as her eyes scanned the map.

"Well, if you move at a decent clip, you could hit the summit by midday."

"Is there a particular path?" Brittany asked.

"Are you folks experienced hikers?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah, we've done some…"

"No, this is our first time." Brittany interrupted her with a smile.

"For first-timers, I recommend either this trail or that one." The ranger explained, pointing to the places on the map. "They're the two paths we regularly patrol. If something happens and you're on one of the other trails, it might be awhile before we find you. There might be a few locals you could bump into but…"

"Wait, there are people who live up there?" Brittany asked him with a surprised expression.

"We have a few generations of families that have called these mountains home. Most of them are friendly. Respect their land and they'll respect you." He told them seriously. He pointed at another place on the map. "Bears live here. If you see one, you head the other way. They're not animals to fool with."

Santana warily eyed the stuffed bear on the wall. "Great."

"Now, do you have a first aid kit?"

"Seriously?" Santana asked sarcastically with a roll of her eyes. "We may be inexperienced but we're not complete idiots."

"Good for you." The ranger grumbled with a bored expression on his face. "The question was, do you have a first aid kit?"

Brittany nodded, placing a hand on her girlfriend's lower back. "Yes, we have a first aid kit."

"Great." The ranger forced a smile on his face before he turned to glare at Santana. "See how easy that was?"

Santana raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something but Brittany beat her to it. She smiled politely. "Thank you."

She then grabbed Santana's arm and dragged her out of the station. They walked back to the car to grab the rest of their stuff and Santana dug through her backpack to double-check everything. She grabbed her phone and sighed in annoyance when she saw that there was no reception.

"Babe, do you have any reception?" She asked Brittany.

Brittany pulled her phone out of her pocket to check. She shook her head. "Nope."

"Alright, give me your phone. I'll lock it in the car."

"No, I'm going to keep mine." Brittany replied.

"Why?"

"Just to annoy you."

"Seriously?"

Brittany smiled and tucked her phone in a side pocket of her backpack. "In case of an emergency, I'd rather have a phone that may not work up there than not have a phone that may work up there."

"Huh?" Santana's eyebrows pinched together in confusion. She shook her head, not surprised by the odd but strangely logical comments her girlfriend made every now and then, and walked around the car to put her phone in the glove compartment. She closed the door and locked the car. "Okay, are we all set?"

Brittany nodded excitedly. "Yup!"

"Let's do this." Santana pulled on her backpack and started walking.

Brittany looked at their tent that was still resting on the car's roof. "Hey, babe? What do you think, leave the tent here or take it with us?"

Santana stopped walking and slowly turned around. She walked back to the car and grabbed the tent. She looked at Brittany with a serious expression. "I was just making sure that you were paying attention. I guess I'll carry it then."

Brittany smirked in amusement and followed her. "Whatever you say, honey."

* * *

"This is fun." Brittany said after they had been trudging through the mud for a while. The area was overgrown with bushes and they had to dodge the branches that whipped at them. "I still can't believe that I convinced you to go camping."

Santana had gone on hiking trips when she was younger but she had never actually stayed the night in a tent. Santana would never admit it out loud but she didn't like the cold and the bugs and well, the list could go on forever.

"Yeah, don't tell anyone." Santana said, slightly out of breath. "Quinn would tease me for the rest of my life if she saw me like this."

"Maybe Quinn can join us the next time." Brittany replied with twinkling eyes. "We can invite all our friends. That would be fun, don't you think?"

"Not a chance." Santana chuckled.

They finally came to a stop when they reached a small clearing. There were a number of signs pointing in different directions. Santana took off her backpack and grabbed a bottle of water. She took some gulps before passing it along to Brittany. She used the bottom of her shirt to wipe away the sweat from her forehead.

"Hey Britt, where did you get that bandana?"

"It's cute, right?" Brittany asked as she touched the red bandana that was wrapped neatly around her head. "I bought it yesterday on the way home from work. It keeps the sweat out of my eyes."

Santana hummed thoughtfully. "And when you were buying it, you didn't think that maybe... you know..."

"Oh." Brittany tilted her head and shrugged. "This was the last one."

"The last one?"

"Yeah."

Santana narrowed her eyes skeptically. "The entire store was sold out?"

"Completely. I think there was some sort of run on bandanas at the last minute." Brittany said, trying to keep her face blank. Santana shook her head and was just about to say something when Brittany suddenly pulled a blue bandana out of her backpack and handed it to her. She smiled. "Here you go, big baby."

Santana rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips, and took the bandana from her. She wrapped it around her head and gave the blonde a chaste kiss on the lips. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Brittany replied sweetly. "So what do you think, which trail should we follow?"

Santana opened the guidebook and looked at it. "Well, the guidebook here says a couple of these other trails lead to some beautiful views."

"Hmm, let's just stick to one of the ones the ranger said." Brittany suggested. Just at that moment, a woman wheeling some supplies in wagon rounded the corner. She was wearing old clothes and dirty boots but appeared to be friendly. When she looked up, Brittany flashed her a small smile. "Hello."

"You folks need some help?" The woman returned the smile.

"We're just going over our trail options." Santana told her.

The woman nodded. "Take it from me, any trail you choose, you can't go wrong."

"The ranger at base suggested Red Trail or…"

"The New Rise." The woman finished the sentence. "I think Steve only knows those two trails. Well, between those, I'd pick Red Trail. The New Rise will shoot you to the top but there's not as much to see."

Brittany placed a hand on Santana's arm. "What do you think, honey?"

"Oh that's a beautiful ring." The woman commented when she noticed the silver ring on Brittany's finger. "It's not your traditional wedding ring but it's all the same in my eyes. How long have you two been married for?"

"Oh we're not married." Brittany said with a small smile. "Not yet anyway. My father gave me this ring for graduation."

"I'm sorry." The woman quickly apologized. "It just looked like you were married, both so beautiful. I need to mind my own business."

"No, it's fine." Brittany reassured her.

"Which one of those trails has the best clearings?" Santana changed the subject.

"Neither will give you much in the way of clearings. But, there's another path, this one here." She pointed at it on the map. "Quiet Falls. It's got plenty of them and the prettiest falls you'll ever see."

"That sounds perfect, don't you think?" Santana asked Brittany.

"Well, I'll leave you to it." The woman said. "Last thing you need is me taking you from your private time."

"Thanks for your help." Brittany shot her an appreciative smile. The woman nodded and picked up her wagon before she started to walk away. Santana waited until she was out of sight before taking the map from Brittany's hands.

"Not yet? You sure love taking your shots, don't you?"

Brittany gave her a stern but playful look. "When I see an opening."

Santana smiled and checked the map. "Okay, the path she was talking about winds through all these falls. What do you think?"

"I think," Brittany began as she took a few steps closer to her girlfriend. "that if you get eaten by a bear and there's not a ranger around, I'm not carrying what's left of you down this mountain."

Santana took Brittany's hand and laced their fingers together. "Quiet Falls it is then."

* * *

They had been walking for a while now when Brittany suddenly stopped dead in her tracks. Santana followed her line of vision and saw a beautiful deer with golden brown fur just a few meters ahead. The deer's ears twitched as it curiously examined the area. Brittany sighed happily and rested her head on Santana's shoulder as they silently watched the scene in front of them.

Santana suddenly turned Brittany around in her arms so that they were standing face-to-face. A smile instantly found its way to her lips when her eyes landed on the necklace around Brittany's neck. She trailed a finger over the silver heart. "You're going to lose this out here."

"I haven't taken it off since you gave it to me." Brittany replied softly, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck and gently pressing their lips together. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and tilted her head to the side, deepening the kiss. Brittany hummed in approval and lightly bit down on Santana's bottom lip before pulling away.

"You know," She began, resting their foreheads together. "I've always wanted to make love to you in the woods. It's so quiet and peaceful out here, like there's nothing to hide from and not a single thing to worry about."

"Yeah?" Santana questioned, her eyes sparkling.

Brittany just nodded and brushed her nose against Santana's before their lips collided again. She ran her fingers through the soft hairs at the base of Santana's neck as their tongues battled with each other, the kiss quickly growing in heat. Brittany pulled away from Santana's mouth and moved down to her neck, pausing to nip at a sensitive spot. She pressed her girlfriend up against the nearest tree and shoved a thigh between her legs, applying pressure to where she needed her most. Santana let out a breathy moan. "Brittany."

Santana moved to take Brittany's shirt off but Brittany quickly grabbed her hand and shook her head, laying open-mouthed kisses on the tan skin of the brunette's neck. "Not here."

"But…"

"Please, San." Brittany gazed into familiar brown orbs, pleadingly. "Just let me make you feel good."

At the nod of understanding, Brittany ran her hands up and down Santana's sides and then started to unbutton the brunette's blouse. She pulled back slightly and waited for a nod of approval before she removed the item of clothing completely and threw it aside. Santana shuddered and quickly resumed their kiss, feeling a familiar warmth travel through her body as Brittany's tongue darted out to meet her own. Brittany let her hands roam over Santana's collarbones, her bra-clad breasts and down to her abs, feeling the muscles flex under her touch.

She startled when she heard twigs snapping behind them and she immediately pulled away from Santana, her heart beginning to pound in her chest. She turned towards the sound and instinctively pushed Santana behind her.

"Hey guys, check this out." A deep voice sounded before three guys came into view. The first one to whom the voice belonged to was a skinny guy with dirty blonde hair. The second one was a gross-looking guy with messy clothes and the last one, clearly the oldest of them all, was a dark-haired guy with a shotgun in his hands. Brittany swallowed thickly, immediately fearing the worst. "It looks like we have a party going on."

"We were just moving our way up the mountain." Brittany said, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. She was feeling anything but calm though. The way they were shamelessly ogling Santana made her blood boil.

"It doesn't look like that's the only thing you were doing." The first guy smirked. He noticed how Santana was nervously eyeing her discarded blouse and he quickly picked it up. He brought it to his nose and sniffed it. "Hmm, sweet like vanilla."

"You should be careful with what you do up here." The second guy spoke up, his eyes flickering from Santana to Brittany. "You never know who's watching."

Brittany balled her hands into fists and exhaled slowly before replying, "Thanks for the heads up. I think we've learned our lesson."

The third guy, the one with the shotgun, looked them up and down. "You're city folks, ain't ya?"

"We're just here on a weekend trip." Brittany said, ignoring his question. "Do you guys live up here?"

He glanced at his friends and then back at Brittany. "It's usually not hard to spot city folks. They're always trying to be extremely friendly when they really don't want to be."

"Well, we'll just be on our way now." Brittany said impatiently. She nodded at Santana's blouse that the first guy was still holding. "May I have that back?"

He gave her a creepy grin. "Finders keepers."

Brittany clenched her jaw in annoyance. She had never been a violent type but this guy was really pushing it. Luckily, the third guy gave his friend a stern look. "Just give it back."

The first guy reluctantly obliged and threw the blouse at Brittany. Brittany caught it and passed it to Santana who immediately put it on, feeling beyond uncomfortable with the way she was being watched every move. They tried to walk away but the third guy stopped them by pointing his gun at them.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Anger flared up inside of Brittany and she grabbed the barrel of his gun, bending it upwards. She narrowed her eyes. "Look, we don't want any trouble, alright? We just want to be on our way."

Curiosity flashed in his eyes and he stared at her intently for what felt like hours before he nodded once. "Fine." He said in a low, even voice. "Just remember what we told you. It can be dangerous out here."

Brittany nodded but knew better than to say anything. Another moment of silence passed before the guy stepped aside, allowing Brittany and Santana to walk past them. Brittany grabbed their bags and took Santana's hand in her own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. She guided them around the trees, as far away from the three guys as possible, hearing their laughter slowly subside. Once they were at a safe distance, Brittany stopped walking and turned to Santana.

"Are you okay?" She asked, cupping Santana's cheek in her hand. Santana let out a shaky breath and nodded before she wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and pulled her into a tight hug. She was amazed by how brave the usually shy girl had been just then. Brittany wrapped her arms around the shorter girl's waist and pressed a kiss into her hair. "Well, this camping trip sure started off great."

Santana smiled a bit at the sarcastic tone of Brittany's voice and pulled back slightly to meet her girlfriend's bright eyes. "Do you want to go home?"

"I think they were just messing with us. I can hear their laughter all the way from here." Brittany said softly, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "But if you want to leave, then that's fine with me. We can turn around and head back right now."

Santana shook her head and pressed another kiss to Brittany's lips. "I want to stay here with you."

Brittany smiled and pulled the brunette into a hug again. Santana sighed contentedly and buried her face in the curve of Brittany's neck, placing a feather-light kiss on the pale skin. They stood there for a while before they clasped their hands together and resumed walking.

It was nice to be away from reality for a while. It felt like Brittany finally had the chance to clear her mind a bit.

* * *

About an hour later, they found a beautiful clearing and agreed that it was a perfect spot to spend the night. Santana's breath caught in her throat at the view. They were on top of a cliff that looked over a huge area. Above them was another cliff with a waterfall that pooled into a pond. The sun was already starting to set, creating the most beautiful colors in the sky.

Santana let go of Brittany's hand and dropped her backpack.

Brittany snaked her arm around Santana's waist and sighed happily. "I'm really glad that we came here."

"Me too." Santana replied with a smile, rising slightly on her toes to kiss the taller girl softly on the lips. She let the contact linger for a moment before pulling back. "So, how do you want to do this?"

"Why don't I set up the tent while you try to find some wood?" Brittany suggested.

Santana nodded in agreement and pecked her on the lips one last time before turning around. Not long after, the tent had been set up, they had a fire built but not lit, a stack of firewood for later, and the bags unpacked of necessary items. Brittany spread out a blanket on the grass and sat down on it, leaning back on her arms.

"Do you want to go swimming?" Santana asked carefully as she looked around and took everything in.

Brittany bit her lip, her cheeks flushed, and slowly shook her head. "No but you can go without me."

"Babe, there's no one else here." Santana reminded her girlfriend gently.

"I-I know but…" Brittany stuttered, embarrassed. She looked up at Santana, her blue eyes piercing and begging the brunette to understand. "I can't."

"Okay." Santana smiled in assurance, bending down to kiss Brittany gently on the forehead. "I'll be right back."

Santana climbed into the tent to quickly get changed into her bikini. Brittany settled back against the blanket and allowed her eyes to flutter shut for a moment. The sun felt warm against her skin but in the most pleasant kind of way. She watched as Santana dove into the water, a smile of affection forming on her lips. Even now Brittany couldn't believe how gorgeous she was. She was astounding, her beauty striking Brittany once again as she watched her swim.

As Santana emerged from the water, Brittany could see that she was cold. The blonde quickly pulled a towel out of her bag and stood up. Once Santana was close enough, she held open the towel and gently dried her girlfriend off before wrapping the fluffy material around her shoulders. Santana shot her a grateful smile. "Thanks."

"Come sit with me." Brittany said softly, dropping a kiss on Santana's forehead. Santana smiled at her as they both sat down, Santana positioned between Brittany's legs with Brittany's arms wrapped around her waist, a towel securely wrapped around the both of them. They sat there in silence for a while, simply enjoying the view and each other's company.

Brittany pressed a soft kiss to Santana's shoulder. "It's getting late. Are you hungry?"

"Very." Santana told her, shifting in her arms. "Did you bring the food?"

Brittany nodded slowly. "Yeah."

"Why don't you go get it while I try to start the fire?" Santana suggested carefully. Brittany tensed up slightly at the mention of a fire and Santana quickly placed her hand on her girlfriend's arm, rubbing it gently. "It's okay, Britt."

"I know." Brittany said, her voice barely above a whisper. She cleared her throat and shook her head at herself. "It's fine. I'm just being stupid."

"You're not." Santana protested immediately. She turned around in Brittany's arms and cupped her cheek. "It's not stupid, okay?"

"Okay." Brittany echoed quietly.

Santana pressed a lingering kiss to Brittany's lips before pulling away and getting to her feet. She offered Brittany her hand and helped the other girl to her feet as well. Brittany retreated into their tent to grab the food and Santana set to work on getting the fire started. The task was actually a lot harder than it seemed but she managed to get it done eventually. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that Brittany was awkwardly standing in front of their tent, nervously shifting from foot to foot, her wide eyes intently trained on the flames.

"Britt." Santana called out softly, moving closer to Brittany. She took the blonde's free hand in her own and gave it an assuring squeeze. "Come on, babe. We'll stay at a safe distance. Nothing bad is going to happen."

"Yeah." Brittany stammered, allowing Santana to guide her closer to the fire. Once they were at a reasonable distance, Santana took the food from Brittany's trembling hand and placed a kiss on her cheek. Brittany blushed and looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry, San."

"For what?" Santana asked patiently.

"I know that there's no reason to be afraid." Brittany tried her hardest to explain without looking up, embarrassment evident on her features. "I-I just don't like being close to fire. It… it reminds me.."

"I understand, honey." Santana interrupted Brittany as she continued to struggle with her words. She reached up to tuck a few strands of hair behind Brittany's ear before slowly sliding her hand down Brittany's neck, finally settling it on her shoulder. "You don't have to explain. Why don't you have a seat and I'll prepare dinner?"

Brittany nodded, grateful.

A while later, they had finished eating a surprisingly good meal and were snuggling together on the blanket. Brittany was lying on her back with Santana curled around her, head resting on her chest and hand spread on her stomach, legs tangled together. They had both already changed into more comfortable clothes and were just relaxing.

Brittany stared up at the stars, listening to the sound of the campfire crackling. "I wish we could stay here forever."

"Me too." Santana sighed happily, cuddling a little closer. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of Brittany gently brushing her fingers through her hair, before she spoke again. "Do you…" She trailed off and bit her lip. "Never mind."

"No, what is it?" Brittany encouraged, placing a feather-light kiss on her forehead.

"Do you think we'll be together forever?" Santana mumbled, a little embarrassed.

"I hope so." Brittany replied after a moment of thought. Imagining her life without Santana unsettled her more than anything and she shuddered, tightening her arms around her girlfriend's waist. "I can't picture a future without you in it. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Santana. I want to make you my wife someday, buy a big house and start a family. I want it all, with you."

Santana blinked back her tears and pulled back to look at Brittany. "Really?"

Brittany nodded timidly, a blush tinting her cheeks.

"I want that too." Santana whispered against Brittany's lips before she pressed a light kiss to them, smiling when Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered shut. She rested their foreheads together and cupped Brittany's cheek gently. "I love you so much, Brittany."

Brittany's eyes opened slowly. "I love you too."

"So… a family, huh?" Santana said with a hint of a smirk in her voice. Brittany's blush deepened and the brunette chuckled in adoration. She teasingly nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose before kissing the spot delicately. "How many children do you want?"

"I don't know… one?" Brittany replied shyly. "Maybe two?"

"I like the sound of that." Santana grinned, rolling over so that she was completely on top of Brittany. She folded her arms across the blonde's ribs, just below her breasts, and rested her chin on them, staring up at her girlfriend. Brittany shyly averted her gaze away, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Santana craned her neck to kiss the underside of Brittany's jaw. "You're so beautiful."

Brittany rolled her eyes, her face bright red. "Stop it."

Santana loved how flustered Brittany got whenever she received a compliment. She removed her arms from Brittany's ribs and pushed herself up on her elbows so that she was hovering over the other girl. "Never." She said with a smile, gazing into ocean blue orbs.

Brittany tried to fight it but it wasn't long before a smile broke out onto her face as well.

Satisfied, Santana rolled off her. "Let's go to bed."

After Santana had put out the fire, they brushed their teeth by the pond before crawling into their tent. They rolled out their large sleeping bag that would comfortably fit two people and got inside, pressing up closely against each other, lying face-to-face, absorbing each other's warmth as it had gotten quite cold outside. Santana trailed her fingers up and down Brittany's side, distractedly. "This is comfy."

"Hmm." Brittany hummed in agreement, nuzzling their noses together. "I had a great time today."

Santana smiled and brought up her hand to cup Brittany's cheek. She ghosted her lips over Brittany's soft ones in the gentlest manner before connecting them in a firm kiss. Brittany's hand rested on Santana's hip for a moment before it slowly moved underneath her shirt, coming to a rest on her lower back and lightly pressing down. After all this time, Brittany was still amazed by how warm and soft Santana's lips were. Her head was spinning as she felt the tip of the brunette's tongue against her lips, gently parting them, then slowly moving inside her mouth to meet her tongue passionately. Brittany couldn't say for sure how long the kiss lasted, but she knew it wasn't as long as she would have liked.

Santana disconnected their lips, pulling away just enough to look into her eyes.

Brittany smiled a bit, even though she was aching for more of Santana's touch. "I… need you."

She shuddered when she felt Santana's hand move from her cheek down her neck, brushing her hair over one shoulder. "I'm yours." Santana whispered against her lips before kissing her again, lightly and softly. "Just tell me what you want me to do."

Brittany swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling dry. She was trembling with anticipation, Santana's words sending shockwaves of excitement through her body. A pleasant throbbing settled between her legs, leaving a heated feeling. Her eyes flickered between Santana's lips and brown orbs as she spoke almost pleadingly, "I want you to touch me."

Santana obeyed instantly, her hands cupping Brittany's cheeks as she pulled her into another deep kiss, her fingertips tracing over Brittany's skin soothingly. Brittany shuddered as Santana gently caressed her face, their lips moving together naturally. One of Santana's hands moved to the back of her neck and she gasped when she felt soft lips press against the sensitive skin just beneath her jaw, moving lower and lower until there was a firm pressure on her pulse point. Brittany loved how gentle Santana's touch was, her hands slow and tender in their exploration. Santana felt the same way. In the past, sex had been meaningless and all about immediate satisfaction but with Brittany she wanted the feelings to last as long as they possibly could.

Santana's hands carefully slipped underneath her t-shirt and Brittany's breath hitched slightly. The feeling of Santana's hands moving over her skin had become familiar and even though her fears still clouded her mind at times, she knew that she could trust Santana. That's why she didn't hesitate to nod when Santana asked her if she could remove the material that was keeping her from fully being able to see her.

"Love you." Santana whispered, kissing Brittany tenderly on the lips. She knew how difficult it was for Brittany to resist the need to cover herself up, probably feeling vulnerable and exposed. They kissed lazily for a while and Santana's fingertips traced the bumpy texture of Brittany's skin at a slow pace, almost as if she was trying to memorize the path of each line. Her eyes met blue ones and the trust they held made her heart flutter in her chest. "How are you doing, baby?"

"Good." Brittany replied shyly, feeling her heart swell with love all over again. Each time they made love, Santana would check to see how she was doing numerous times. The gesture meant the world to Brittany. "Love you too, by the way."

Santana grinned.

Their lips met again in a heated kiss, their lips moving together with more urgency. Brittany's breasts slipped free of the confining material as Santana gently loosened her bra, pulling it off her shoulders and blindly tossing it across the tent. She tore her lips away from Brittany's and leaned down, kissing every inch of the newly revealed skin. Brittany moaned when she felt the tip of Santana's tongue against her nipple. The brunette circled it a few times and then pulled it between her lips, suckling gently on the sensitive nub. Her teeth closed around it and Brittany squirmed, tangling her fingers into dark locks in silent ecstasy.

Santana's fingers curled around the hem of Brittany's sweatpants and Brittany nodded to show her confirmation. Soon, she was completely naked, and Santana gently brushed the hair away from her face, the material of her shorts brushing against Brittany's sensitive core, sending another tremor through the blonde's body. She made a sound of disapproval when she realized that Santana was still fully dressed.

"Wait." She said quickly, clasping Santana's hand that was now hovering mid-air. "I want to see you too."

Santana smiled, reaching down slowly, much too slowly for Brittany's liking, to lift up her shirt and pull it over her head. With equal slowness she unfastened her bra and Brittany practically bolted up to assist her in slipping the dark colored material from her arms. Santana's chest was now perfectly exposed to Brittany's adoring gaze and she stared at her hungrily. She cupped Santana's cheek and pressed their lips together once again in an uncontrolled, heated and slightly sloppy kiss. A whimper escaped Santana's throat when Brittany's hands found their way to her breasts, massaging them tenderly with strong but gentle hands. She took her nipples between her fingers, circling and rubbing slowly, causing them to instantly harden in response.

"Britt." Santana gasped, throwing her head back in pleasure, exposing her neck.

She felt Brittany lean closer and another moan left her lips when the blonde started a slow trail of kisses up the column of her throat, nipping lightly before running her tongue along her jaw. Santana ran her fingers through Brittany's hair, moving down in one fluid movement and cupping both of her cheeks. She directed her face up, touching her skin with a gentleness that made Brittany want to cry, and captured her lips in another mind-blowing kiss. Brittany didn't protest as she was pushed back on the floor and spread her legs, allowing Santana to settle in between them.

Santana nipped on Brittany's bottom lip before releasing it and pulling back, her breathing heavier than before. "Can I try something else this time?"

A mixture of confusion and curiosity flashed in Brittany's eyes before she nodded slowly.

Realization washed over her when Santana started to kiss her way down her body, her lips caressing her stomach with an agonizing slowness to where she needed her the most.

Anxiety rippled through her body and her breathing sped up as nerves churned her insides. It wasn't that nobody had ever gone down on her before, it was just that eye-contact with Santana had kept her grounded during their love-making and she was afraid of how she would cope without it. But every precise movement of her girlfriend's mouth sent more wetness to her core and she had never felt so alive.

"Relax." Santana whispered, her fingers tenderly stroking the insides of her thighs, moving up until she was nearly touching the incredibly wet flesh in front of her, but pulling away just before making actual contact. Brittany was already panting, far more aroused than she had thought was possible, straining her neck to watch. Santana breathed in the unique scent that was all Brittany and pressed a gentle kiss to the sensitive area just above her clit.

Brittany opened her legs wider, heart pounding rapidly in her chest, the sight of Santana's face only inches away from her center not something she would easily forget. Santana's eyes flickered up to Brittany's dazed ones as she leaned forward and finally slid her tongue through Brittany's swollen folds, groaning at the taste that invaded her senses.

" _San."_ Brittany groaned, dropping her head back on her pillow, effectively breaking their eye-contact.

Her entire body arched and pushed forward as she felt the moist softness of Santana's strong tongue against her throbbing clit. She cried out in pure delight as Santana gently lapped at her, alternating between sucking hard and soft caresses. Santana's fingers gently massaged the insides of Brittany's thighs as she helped her raise one leg over her shoulder, giving her more access. Santana swirled her tongue around Brittany's entrance and pressed the tip inside, moaning when she was met by more wetness. Brittany's hand clumsily found the back of Santana's head and she bucked her hips up, squirming in pleasure.

Santana smirked into the soft folds of Brittany's hot center and placed her hand on her girlfriend's stomach to keep her relatively still. She loved the way Brittany was gasping underneath her, driving herself down on her tongue, desperately chasing release. Santana thrust in and out of her at a rapid pace before abandoning her entrance and confidently licking up her slit, placing an open-mouthed kiss on her sensitive clit. Brittany whimpered loudly and Santana gave in almost instantly, poking her tongue out and pressing down on the sensitive pleasure point, licking in time with Brittany's thrusts.

Brittany was in heaven. She was beyond thinking, there was no shame or fear; her mind and body overwhelmed by the delicious sensations that Santana's touch was creating. Santana's touch was the most unbelievable thing she had ever known. Santana's tongue caressed her with stronger strokes, lapping at her until that remarkable pleasure climbed again. She was so close, she just needed that extra…

"Fuck!" Brittany gasped when Santana wrapped her lips around her clit, sucking hard. It had the desired effect and Brittany's back arched, a deep cry escaping her throat as waves of pleasure rolled through her body. Santana gently brought her down from her high before pressing a kiss to her folds and climbing back up her body. Brittany was breathing heavily, her eyes squeezed shut, struggling to get any words out. "I-I…"

"I know." Santana whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to Brittany's forehead. Brittany smiled when she felt a pressure on her lips and she tried to return the kiss as best as she could in her dazed state, her lips moving lazily against Santana's full ones. Santana pulled away and sighed happily, resting her head on Brittany's chest as she settled down beside her, listening to her heartbeat.

Once Brittany's breathing had slowed down, she spoke again. "We're not done yet."

Before Santana had the chance to say anything, she was being flipped onto her back and Brittany's soft lips were once again on hers, kissing her passionately. Santana melted into the contact, all her thoughts leaving her mind.

* * *

Santana was pulled from her peaceful sleep by the painful feeling of an elbow harshly hitting her in the stomach. She didn't have any time to process the pain because Brittany was mumbling unintelligibly beside her. Santana sighed sadly and quickly pinned Brittany's arms down to protect herself from more attacks. She had hoped that the silence around them would have a calming effect on Brittany during the night as well but it seemed that she was wrong.

It took Santana a full five minutes to snap Brittany out of her nightmare and the blonde bolted upright, her breathing so fast that Santana was afraid that she would pass out. Santana hesitantly placed her hand on Brittany's back, unsure of what to do, but Brittany whined and moved away from her. She was struggling against the confines of the sleeping bag, her eyes wildly darting around as she tried to take in her surroundings.

"Brittany." Santana called out as Brittany continued to struggle, obviously panicking. Brittany didn't seem to hear her and Santana's concern increased even more. "Baby, look at me. You're okay."

"The fire." Brittany stuttered as she fumbled with the zipper of the sleeping bag. She whimpered in frustration when she couldn't get it down as a result of how badly her hands were shaking. Her eyes were wide and tears started to form, her movements growing more frantic. "Oh God."

Santana had no idea what was happening. All she knew was that she had to calm Brittany down. She pulled herself upright and moved closer to Brittany, but didn't actually touch her.

"Brittany, listen to me." She spoke in a low voice, trying to catch Brittany's gaze. "I'm not exactly sure what's going on but you have to calm down. Just take deep breaths, babe."

"The fire." Brittany repeated, her voice cracking. She gave up on trying to get out of the sleeping bag and pulled her knees to her chest instead, wrapping her arms around them. Her chest was heaving as she continued to gasp for air. "San?"

Santana was surprised at the acknowledgement but she quickly replied. "I'm right here, honey."

"The fire." Brittany choked out. "Put it out."

"What?" Santana's eyebrows pinched together in confusion. She reached out to brush the hair away from Brittany's face but Brittany didn't react to her touch at all, her eyes focused directly ahead. The brunette swallowed the lump in her throat. "Brittany, the fire is out. I promise. I put it out before we went to bed, remember?"

Santana wasn't sure if Brittany was listening to her. She pressed a hand against her forehead as she tried to get her thoughts in order. Brittany was seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack and Santana knew it. An idea suddenly hit her and she quickly turned to her bag, hurriedly digging through the contents. She let out a sigh of relief when she found Brittany's anxiety medication and she quickly dropped two pills into her palm. She grabbed a bottle of water and turned back to her distressed girlfriend, cupping her cheek to get her attention.

"Come on, babe. Please take these." She ran her thumb over Brittany's bottom lip and gently coaxed her mouth open. Brittany's eyes studied her features in a daze before she accepted the pills. Santana placed the bottle of water against her lips and Brittany clumsily took a few gulps. "That's it. There you go."

Santana tossed the bottle aside and guided Brittany down, pulling the other girl on top of her. She gently ran her fingers through long, blonde hair as Brittany continued to shudder against her. It was hard for her to hold back her tears. She hated seeing Brittany like this and it had been happening a lot more often than usual lately.

"San?"

"I'm here, Britt." Santana tenderly kissed the top of her head. "Just rest. We'll talk in the morning."

It wasn't until Santana was sure that Brittany had fallen asleep that she was able to breathe again. She tightened her arms around her girlfriend and clenched her jaw, allowing her silent tears to flow. They really did need to have a talk.

The second time Santana woke up, Brittany was still fast asleep on top of her. Santana released a shuddering breath as memories of a few hours before flooded her mind. She knew that Brittany had been really stressed out with work lately but she wondered if that was the only cause of her increase in nightmares. She trailed her fingertips up and down Brittany's arm, finding comfort in the feeling of Brittany's soft, warm breaths tickling her skin.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when Brittany stirred in her arms. The blonde blinked a few times to clear her blurry vision and Santana smiled softly when her eyes locked with blue ones, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Hi."

"Hey." Brittany mumbled, her cheeks coloring pink under Santana's intense stare. She brought her hands up and slowly massaged her temples, a groan escaping her lips. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Santana questioned worriedly. Brittany just stared back at her so she sighed and started to explain. "You had a nightmare last night, Britt. It was bad. I couldn't calm you down so I had to make you take your medication."

"I'm sorry." Brittany whispered, her eyes holding nothing but apology.

"It's not your fault." Santana assured her, placing a gentle kiss on her girlfriend's lips. She moved her fingers up the blonde's jawline and cupped her cheek, stroking her thumb over the soft skin. "But we do need to talk about this. Your nightmares… Britt, I hate seeing you like that. You have to slow down because things can't go on like this."

Brittany just closed her eyes, a troubled expression on her face.

"What about your therapy sessions?" Santana continued. Brittany's eyes snapped open and the flash of fear Santana saw in them was all the confirmation she needed. "You haven't been going to them lately, have you?" There was that look of guilt again. Brittany glanced away and bit her lip, slowly shaking her head. "Why not? Britt, talk to me."

"It's just… hard." Brittany admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"What is?" Santana asked patiently, her thumb still stroking the same soothing patterns over Brittany's cheek. She was upset that Brittany had kept this from her but she knew that there was no point in getting angry right now. All she wanted was to get Brittany to open up to her and yelling at her would probably only have the opposite effect.

"Everything." Brittany mumbled, blinking slowly. "Every time Dr. Hill brings up the… the plane crash or Jess, I shut down. I can't talk about it, San. It hurts too much."

"I understand that it's hard." Santana said after a moment of silence. "But you have to try. A few months ago you were determined to get better, to get back to dancing and get your life back. What happened to that?"

"It's just really hard." Brittany repeated, sounding frustrated.

Santana pursed her lips in thought before speaking again. "If you want to give up then that's totally up to you. I can't force you to do anything. But why would you give up when you've come this far?" She paused and searched Brittany's eyes, looking for a sign that her words were having an effect on her. "I love you, Brittany, and it's killing me to see you like this."

"I'm sorry." Came Brittany's broken reply.

"Shh." Santana shushed her gently. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to gather her thoughts, before continuing. "I'll be here for you no matter what but you owe it to yourself and everyone who loves you to keep trying. If you can't do it for you then please do it for me."

"But what if I'll never be able to open up?" Brittany asked, her eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Dr. Hill is a professional." Santana reminded her girlfriend. "He knows how to help you. All you have to do is tell him what the problem is. He'll understand."

Brittany nodded slowly. "You're right."

"Will you please try?" Santana asked carefully.

"I'll book a session as soon as we get home." Brittany told her. Santana breathed out a sigh of relief, wrapping her arms around Brittany and pulling her into a tight hug. Brittany buried her face against Santana's shoulder and held her as closely as possible. "I'm really sorry, San."

"I know you are." Santana whispered into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. She knew that Brittany still had a long way to go but it felt like they had gotten one step closer and that was all that mattered right now.


	21. Chapter 21

_Thanks for reading :)_

 **Chapter 21.**

Santana took a deep breath before she pushed open the door to the small restaurant where she had agreed to meet up with Andrea. It had taken a lot of thinking but eventually she had come to the conclusion that she at least wanted to give her cousin a chance to explain herself better. Brittany wasn't too happy about it but she still supported her decision. Her girlfriend was having a therapy session today, much to Santana's relief, and Santana would pick her up after lunch and drop her off at Joey's.

Santana couldn't help but feel nervous. It had been so long since she'd last spent time with Andrea so she had no idea how to act around her. Andrea was already waiting for her and surprised her by pulling her into a hug. "Thank you so much for coming."

"Don't worry about it." Santana mumbled, awkwardly patting her on the back.

After they had ordered, a silence immediately fell over the table. Santana glanced around uncomfortably, fiddling with her hands distractedly, until Andrea finally spoke up. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Santana said with a nod of the head.

"So I take it you weren't in the hospital for something serious?"

"I had appendicitis." Santana dead-panned.

"Oh." Andrea mumbled, her eyes widening slightly. She pursed her lips and hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I'm glad you're alright now."

Santana shot her a tight-lipped smile but didn't say anything.

"Thank you for not telling on my husband, by the way. He could've seriously risked his jo-…"

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Santana interrupted her, shifting in her seat.

Andrea sighed and looked at Santana for a moment. "Look, Santana, I understand that I'm not your favorite person in the world but I really want to work on gaining your trust back. I'm so sorry that I've hurt you but I'm not that same person anymore."

"I understand that you were only 16 years old when everything happened." Santana softened a little bit. "But your parents have probably spent years convincing you that their views and ideas are right so I find it kind of hard to believe that you've suddenly decided that you accept me after all."

Andrea was silent as she contemplated Santana's words. "I understand why you feel that way. Just remember that I no longer have to explain myself to my parents. I contacted you because I miss you and I'm sure that my parents will be upset when they find out but I really don't care."

"I'm not sure about this, Andrea." Santana admitted. "I don't want to cause drama in your family. I'm tired of having to deal with all that."

"I understand." Andrea replied knowingly. "But don't worry, I'll deal with them if it comes that far. Right now I just want to focus on getting to know you again. You've grown up a lot, Santana."

"So have you." Santana's lips quirked up into a small smile. "What happened to the shy, dorky girl that I used to know?"

"She had her braces removed and actually took a break from playing video games to leave the house and talk to people."

Santana's smile widened before she forced a serious expression back in place. She tilted her head in thought and finally gave in. "I'm willing to give you another chance but only if we take things slowly."

Andrea's face lit up and she nodded quickly. "I want that more than anything."

"So, tell me about yourself." Santana tried to get a conversation started.

"Well, I went to college and got my teaching degree like I always wanted." Andrea started to talk enthusiastically. "I met my husband, Paulo, through a friend in my second year and we immediately got along. We started dating and he asked me to marry him on our second year anniversary."

"He's on his way to become a doctor, correct?" Santana asked.

Andrea hummed her confirmation as she took a sip from her water. "Yes, a surgeon. Things have been great. We're really happy together."

"I'm glad to hear that." Santana said with a genuine smile. "Maybe I'll meet him one day."

"I'm sure you will." Andrea returned the smile. She quieted down when the waiter came by to bring them their food. Santana thanked him quietly as he set down a plate in front of her. Once he was gone, Andrea started talking again. "What's your girlfriend's name again? I never caught it."

Santana couldn't help the small smile that graced her features thinking of her girlfriend. "Brittany."

Andrea nodded and started on her pasta before catching her eye and giving her a look. "So, when are you and Brittany going to tie the knot?"

Santana sucked in a sharp breath in surprise and began coughing as some of her salad got caught in her throat. She reached out for her drink and quickly downed half of it. Andrea tried to suppress a chuckle as Santana regained her composure.

The older brunette glared at her. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Andrea said with a smirk.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Britt and I haven't even been together for a year yet."

"So?"

"So what?"

"Do you think she's the one?"

Santana didn't hesitate to answer. "Yes, I do."

"Are you sure?"

Santana's eyebrows pinched together in annoyance. "What kind of questions are these?"

"I was just wondering." Andrea shrugged.

Santana frowned slightly before stabbing through her salad and taking a bite. Covering her mouth with her hand, she asked, "What's it like?"

"What's what like?"

"Being married."

"It's different." Andrea answered after a moment of thought. "In a good way. I always expected that things would be the same but now I realize that's not the case at all. It's not just the matching rings that we wear but the feeling that comes with it. When I wake up and see him every morning I know I'm safe."

Santana smiled. "That sounds amazing."

They ate in silence for a while until Andrea spoke again, her eyes sparkling. "This is nice."

"What is?"

"This." Andrea gestured between the two of them. "Just being able to talk to you again."

Santana leaned back in her chair and released a breath before nodding in agreement. "Yeah, it is."

* * *

Brittany bounced her right leg up and down as she sat in Dr. Hill's office. She fidgeted nervously. It had been a few days since she and Santana had come back from their trip and she was no longer able to avoid reality. She knew that she had to try her best to open up to Dr. Hill. She couldn't keep it bottled up anymore. It was a lot harder than it seemed though.

"So, Brittany, how are you today?"

"I'm okay."

"I haven't seen you in a while."

"I know." Brittany mumbled. Her voice was barely audible but Dr. Hill still heard her.

"What made you decide to come back?"

Brittany let out a sigh and finally looked up at him. He could see that she was tired. There were bags under her eyes that seemed dull and even more sad in comparison to how he remembered them.

A long moment of silence passed before Brittany replied, her voice soft and timid. "I realized that I'll never get better if I give up. I… I have to start being more open with you."

Dr. Hill shot her a warm smile. "Where would you like to start?"

"I don't know." Brittany shrugged, playing with her fingers.

"You haven't been sleeping." It wasn't a question but a statement.

Brittany bit her lip. "I haven't."

"Will you tell me about your nightmares?"

Brittany hesitated for a moment before nodding in defeat. "They always start the same." She took a deep breath and looked up, meeting Dr. Hill's kind eyes. "I-I'm running and there are… flames. _She's_ always there."

"Jess?" The therapist questioned.

Brittany stiffened in her chair, her stomach dropping. She took a moment to compose herself before answering. "Yes." She whispered. "She's always doing something different."

"Like what?" Dr. Hill urged her gently.

"Sometimes she's... _trapped_ inside the plane and I-I can't get to her." Brittany released a shaky breath and blinked hard, her hand frantically rubbing her arm. "Other times she's attacking me and telling me how… how everything is my fault."

"Everything?"

Brittany nodded slowly. "My scars, her… her death. It was because of me that we were even on the plane in the first place." She sniffled and furiously wiped at her face. She hadn't even realized that she was crying until then. Dr. Hill handed her a box of tissues that Brittany gratefully accepted. The therapist didn't say anything. He just waited patiently until Brittany spoke again. "Lately they've been getting worse. They always involve Santana and that terrifies me more than anything."

"What is Santana doing in them?"

"Nothing."

"Brittany, you told me that you wanted to talk about this." Dr. Hill sighed. "You haven't been here in weeks but you came back because you wanted to start opening up. I can't help you if things are going to be the same as they were before. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hearing about how happy you are with your girlfriend, how you're enjoying your job, but it's not going to get us anywhere. If you don't n-…"

"Santana's dying!" Brittany said, hot, angry tears spilling from her eyes. "Santana's dying in them and I can't do anything to stop it! I have to helplessly watch how she burns to death right in front of me because my legs refuse to move!" She paused and clenched her jaw, exhaling sharply through her nose. "She's screaming out for me but by the time I'm finally able to move again, it's already too late. I keep seeing the plane crash, I keep hearing the screams and it's exhausting. I want it to stop."

Dr. Hill gave Brittany a moment to calm down, scribbling something down on his notepad. "Can you tell me about that day?"

"What?" Brittany stammered. "Why?"

"Because it's been almost 3 years, Brittany, and you're still having nightmares. You're with Santana every day, you see that she's well and breathing, yet in your nightmares she's dying in front of your eyes. We need to find out why that is."

Brittany's throat constricted tightly. She could feel her stomach churning. She had watched Santana being taken away from her night after night and each time had cut deeper than the last. Flashbacks of Santana's body being engulfed by flames crossed her mind and she could feel her body go cold.

"Brittany?" Dr. Hill asked quietly. "Are you alright? Do you want us to stop?"

The blonde hesitantly looked up. "'Is that okay? I do really want to get better."

Dr. Hill smiled sympathetically. "How about we continue this next week? We've made some progress so that's good. At least you're talking about it now."

Brittany wiped away a few tears before nodding once.

* * *

After setting up another appointment for next week with the receptionist, Brittany left the building and stepped outside where Santana was already waiting for her. Brittany quickly walked up to her and smiled when Santana opened her arms, enveloping her in a warm hug. Brittany buried her face in the brunette's neck and sighed contentedly. "Hi babe."

"How was it?" Santana asked as she pulled back slightly to meet Brittany's eyes.

Brittany pursed her lips and nodded slowly. "Alright, I guess."

"That's good." Santana smiled softly, squeezing her waist in assurance. "Don't worry, things can only get better from here."

Brittany returned the smile and slowly ran her hand up and down Santana's arm. "How were things with Andrea?"

"Weird." Santana shrugged. She released Brittany from her arms and turned around to open the car door for her girlfriend, getting an appreciative smile. Once they were both seated, Santana turned to Brittany who was staring at her in anticipation, still waiting for her to elaborate. She sighed. "It was nice but… weird."

"Weird how?"

"I guess it's all… confusing?" Santana looked at her questioningly, not quite finding the right words to express her feelings, searching for a sign of understanding.

Brittany reached out to take Santana's hand in her own, squeezing gently. "Because it hurts?"

"Yeah." Santana admitted shyly, looking down at their joined hands. "It's nice to talk to her again but it just doesn't feel the same." She released a heavy sigh, playing with Brittany's fingers distractedly. "When I look at her, I'm reminded of my parents and I… I don't like it."

"I understand, honey." Brittany murmured sympathetically. She looked at the side of Santana's face for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip in thought. "Maybe you just need to give it some time. It's understandable that being around Andrea brings back a lot of memories."

Santana nodded and looked up, her eyes showing a vulnerability that only Brittany ever saw. "You're probably right. That's why we decided to take things slow."

Brittany smiled and leaned in to press a light kiss to Santana's lips. Pulling away, she whispered, "I'm proud of you."

Santana curled her hand around the back of Brittany's neck, tangling her fingers into her hair, and connected their lips again, deepening the kiss, making Brittany slip out a little moan. Santana smirked and nibbled on Brittany's lower lip before releasing it and pulling back to study the blonde's face. She stroked her thumb over Brittany's cheek and waited until bright blue eyes fluttered open. "You're so beautiful, Britt."

Brittany blushed furiously and tried to steal another kiss but Santana teasingly pulled away, chuckling in adoration when Brittany's lips chased after hers, pouting cutely in disappointment. Santana brushed her thumb lightly over Brittany's bottom lip before she gave in a pressed a sweet kiss to Brittany's mouth, causing her girlfriend to sigh happily, melting Santana's heart.

They kissed for a few moments before Santana reluctantly broke the contact. "We should get you to work."

"Yeah." Brittany murmured unhappily, settling back into her seat.

"You're already wearing your uniform, right?"

Brittany hummed her confirmation as Santana started the engine of her car. She pulled out of the parking space and started to head in the direction of the diner. Brittany softly sang along to the radio for a minute before stopping and asking, "What are your plans for the rest of the day?"

"I'm doing research for this article that I'm working on so I'm going to make some phone calls." The brunette replied, drumming her thumbs against the steering wheel. "Do you want me to pick you up after your shift?"

"It's only a five minute walk home, San." Brittany said with a soft smile. "But thank you."

Santana just shrugged and continued driving.

A few minutes later, they came to a stop in front of Joey's and Brittany unbuckled her seatbelt. She leaned in to peck Santana on the cheek before opening her door. Looking over her shoulder, she shot her girlfriend a warm smile. "Thanks for the ride. You don't have to stay up tonight."

"Have a nice day at work, baby." Santana told her sweetly.

Brittany's smile widened as she got out of the car and closed the door. Santana waited until Brittany was safely inside the diner before pulling out of the parking space and driving home.

Brittany greeted her co-workers as she walked inside and headed towards the back room. She put her stuff away and quickly tied an apron around her waist.

The sound of the door opening and closing behind her startled her out of her thoughts. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at Marley who entered the room. "Hey."

"Hey." Marley echoed quietly.

Brittany's smile faltered when she noticed how upset Marley looked. "Are you okay, Mar?"

"I don't know." Marley shrugged as she slowly put down her bag.

"What happened?" Brittany asked worriedly, walking up to her friend and placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Marley looked exhausted. Her eyes were red-rimmed, an indication that she had been crying. "Did you have another fight with Zach?"

Marley blinked rapidly to clear away the fresh tears welling up in her eyes. "I don't know what to do anymore, Britt."

"Oh honey." Brittany whispered, pulling the brunette into a tight hug. Marley melted into the warm embrace and pressed her face against Brittany's shoulder, sniffling miserably. Brittany hated Zach for causing Marley this much pain. She didn't deserve it. Brittany waited until Marley had calmed down a bit before speaking again. "Things can't go on like this. You've been so unhappy lately."

"I know." Marley replied, pulling back slightly. "But we've been together for so long. Walking away now would make me feel like I failed, you know?"

"You haven't failed." Brittany soothed her. "You tried your hardest but it didn't work out. Sometimes letting go is the best thing to do." Marley bit her lip as she contemplated Brittany's words, reaching up the wipe away her tears. Brittany gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Why were you fighting this time?"

Marley sighed. "Zach was taking a nap and I accidently woke him up by dropping a plate."

"That's it?" Brittany frowned. Marley simply nodded and looked down at her feet. Brittany studied her friend's features carefully, tilting her head in thought. "Marley, I have to ask you something and I need you to tell me the truth."

"Okay." Marley replied, her voice barely above a whisper.

Brittany hesitated for a moment and decided to just go for it. "Has Zach ever hit you?"

To her relief, Marley shook her head. "No, he would never."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Yes. He would never physically hurt me." Marley spoke confidently. Brittany opened her mouth to say something but Marley continued. "Don't worry, Britt. One of us always take a breather when we're fighting and things usually go back to normal afterwards."

Brittany's eyebrows pinched together in disapproval. "That's not healthy. You shouldn't have to take breathers from each other."

"It works." Marley shrugged.

Brittany sighed. "One day that's not going to be enough, Marley. What happens then?"

"I don't know."

"So what, you just walked away in the middle of your fight just now?" Brittany asked, getting a little frustrated. She didn't know how to get through to Marley anymore. "Are you just going to pretend that it never happened when you get home? How is that okay?"

"Stop asking me so many questions." Marley grumbled.

Brittany narrowed her eyes. "I'm just worried about you. Can you blame me?"

Marley's features softened and she took a deep breath to calm herself. "I'm sorry. I know that you're just trying to help but I can handle it. Just trust me, okay?"

"Fine." Brittany agreed reluctantly.

Marley shot her a grateful smile and turned to her bag to grab some stuff. Brittany crossed her arms over her chest and watched her silently, a look of disapproval still on her face. She understood that it was hard for Marley to let go of something that she'd been holding onto for so long but in this case it seemed like the best thing to do. Brittany shook her head at the situation and waited until her friend was ready before they both made their way to the front to get to work.

* * *

A few hours later, Santana stirred slightly when she felt a warm body settle in bed behind her. She slowly blinked her eyes open before groaning and immediately closing them again. Brittany tightened her arms around the smaller girl's waist and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "It's just me. Go back to sleep, babe."

"Hmm." Santana hummed sleepily, cuddling back into Brittany's embrace. "How was work?"

"It was fine." Brittany whispered back, slipping her hand under Santana's shirt and drawing soothing circles on her abdomen. "I love you."

Santana reached up to run her fingers through Brittany's hair that was still damp from her shower and tilted her head back to give the blonde a chaste kiss. "I love you too." She whispered against her lips before dropping her arm back to her side and shifting to get comfortable in Brittany's arms. "So much."

Brittany sighed happily and closed her eyes. She kissed the back of Santana's neck. "Did everything go okay with your research?"

Santana hummed in reply and turned around in Brittany's arms, placing her hand on Brittany's cheek and lightly caressing the soft skin. Brittany smiled a bit and closed her eyes, leaning into Santana's touch. Santana softly kissed the area between Brittany's eyes where a small crease had found its way onto her skin. "Is there something on your mind?"

"It's nothing." Brittany murmured, opening her eyes.

Santana moved her hand up Brittany's cheek and to her hair, gently tucking a few strands behind her ear. "Tell me."

"I'm just a little worried about Marley." Brittany finally admitted in a soft voice. "She showed up at work crying because she had another fight with Zach."

"Why doesn't she just break up with that asshole already?" Santana questioned, pulling a face.

Brittany pulled the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. "I guess she's scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I don't know… of being alone?" Brittany said with a shrug of her shoulders. "They've been together for a long time. She told me that leaving him would make her feel like she failed." Brittany paused and released a sigh, her thumb rubbing small circles over Santana's hipbone. "I don't get it, San. He makes her feel miserable."

"She will realize what's best for her eventually." Santana assured her girlfriend, placing a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose, causing a small smile to form on her lips. "Don't worry about it too much. It's not your problem to fix."

Brittany nodded slowly, gazing deeply into brown eyes. "So what about you?"

"What about me?" Santana asked, confused.

"I can tell that there's something on your mind as well." Brittany explained, her eyes trying to read Santana's.

Santana looked away. "I'm fine, Britt."

"Please don't do this again."

The pleading tone of Brittany's voice caused Santana's eyes to snap up to blue ones again. "What am I doing?"

"Not talking to me."

Santana frowned. The fear in Brittany's eyes made her realize how hard it must've been for her girlfriend when she had repeatedly pushed her away in the past. "I'm not shutting you out. I will never do that to you again. I promise."

"Then what is it?" Brittany asked softly.

"The whole situation with Andrea is still bothering me a little." Santana explained. "I guess I just need some time to process everything."

Brittany nodded in understanding. "I'm here for you when you need me."

"I know." Santana whispered before capturing the other girl's lips in a chaste kiss. "Let's go to sleep, Britt. You look tired."

Brittany nodded again and waited until Santana had turned around before spooning up behind her and wrapping her arms around her waist. Santana covered Brittany's hand with her own and laced their fingers together. She heard Brittany's breathing even out not long after and realized that her exhausted girlfriend had fallen asleep. Brittany's long work hours still worried her. Ever since they had gotten back from their trip, the nights continued to be a struggle with Brittany's nightmares. She hoped that the therapy sessions would help with Brittany's anxiety but she still wished that Brittany would quit her job at Joey's.

Santana sighed and tried to go to sleep too. That proved to be harder than expected though. She just couldn't seem to switch her mind off. Like she had told Brittany, she couldn't stop thinking about the whole situation with Andrea. Part of her was happy to be talking to her cousin again, but part of her was also terrified. They had both changed so much. She sighed again and carefully untangled herself from Brittany's arms before climbing out of bed, not wanting to wake her girlfriend with her tossing and turning.

* * *

When Brittany woke up a little while later, she was confused to find herself in bed by herself. Brittany blearily cracked her eyes open and quickly scanned the room in search of Santana. She saw that the bathroom light wasn't on and concern flooded her body, not knowing where else Santana could be in the middle of the night. Brittany quickly threw the covers off herself and slipped out of bed.

"San?" She called out softly as she entered the living room, slowing down to a stop when she saw her girlfriend. The window was open and Santana was sitting on the ledge, smoking a cigarette. Brittany watched her momentarily, a sad expression twitching her features, before walking up to her. "Babe, what are you doing out of bed?"

"I couldn't sleep." Santana mumbled, not looking up.

Brittany pursed her lips and carefully took a seat next to her, keeping some space between them. Her eyes flickered to the cigarette between Santana's fingers and up to brown orbs that looked distant and sad. "I hate it when you smoke."

"I'm sorry."

Brittany's clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "It's okay."

A silence fell over them but it wasn't a comfortable one like usual. It was an uncomfortable one and Brittany hated it. She tried to think of the right words to say but it seemed like Santana wanted some space right now so she decided to stay silent.

Finally, Santana spoke up. "You should go back to bed."

"Not without you." Brittany protested.

Santana sighed and put out her cigarette before tossing it out the window. "Please Brittany."

"No, San. You promised." Brittany replied with a shake of her head. She reached out and grabbed Santana's hand, holding on tightly when Santana attempted to pull away. "You promised that you wouldn't shut me out just a few hours ago so don't break that promise now. Talk to me. What's keeping you up?"

"My parents." Santana breathed out, averting her gaze away. She felt Brittany's hand tighten around hers, silently letting her know that she was listening, and she couldn't help but smile a bit. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, staring out the window. "It was horrible, Britt."

"What was, sweetie?"

"Everything." Santana whispered. "I still remember the day I told them that I was gay so clearly. God Britt, my father was so angry with me while my mother just stared at me." She let out a shaky breath and clenched her jaw. "I was so scared."

Brittany rubbed soothing circles on the back of Santana's hand with her thumb. "What did they say?"

"My father told me that I couldn't be his daughter if I was gay. Then he…" Santana paused to swallow the lump in her throat. "Then he slapped me and told me to go to my room."

Brittany inhaled sharply. "San…"

"It's okay, Britt. It's in the past."

"It's not okay." Brittany told her quietly, moving closer to her. "What your father did is awful."

Santana smiled a humorless smile. "I know."

"Didn't your mother do anything?" Brittany asked.

Santana shook her head. "I tried to talk to her about it a few days later but that didn't work out very well."

" _Mami please!" Santana begged desperately as she followed her mother into the kitchen. "I'm still the same person I was before."_

 _Maribel gathered some ingredients and grabbed a knife, her expression hard. "I don't want to talk about this anymore, Santana. You heard what your father said. Just drop it."_

" _I can't just drop it." Santana protested in frustration, gesturing wildly with her hands. "This is who I am. I've spent so much time pretending to be someone I'm not and I can't do it anymore. I'm just too tired. I know that it'll take some time to get used to but-…"_

" _Stop it." Her mother interrupted her angrily. "Some things are meant to be kept a secret."_

" _What?" Santana whispered._

" _I don't want you to talk about this to anyone, Santana." Maribel spoke sternly, furiously cutting up some vegetables. "If anyone hears about this, you'll be associated with this sinful behavior for the rest of your life just because you got confused as a teenager. Is that what you want?"_

" _Confused?" Santana repeated shakily, her voice cracking._

" _You've been led astray, Santana." Maribel muttered, her hands shaking. "You've been led off the path of righteousness but you can still be saved. We can help you find your way back to God. Prayer and hope is what you need right now."_

" _You're crazy." The words tumbled from Santana's lips before she could stop them._

 _Maribel whipped around to face her and narrowed her eyes._

 _"Don't speak to me like that." She said in a low voice, tightening the hold on the knife in her hand. Santana gulped. She didn't think that her mother would actually hurt but she still took a step backwards. "Now go to your room and don't show your face until dinner is ready."_

 _Santana could no longer hold back her tears. "I can't believe you're being so cruel."_

" _Stop being so selfish!" Maribel yelled suddenly, startling Santana and making her flinch. They stared at each other for what felt like hours before Maribel pointed her finger in the direction of the door, her whole body trembling with rage. "I'm serious, Santana. Leave my sight right now! Don't ever bring up this conversation again."_

 _Santana choked back a sob as she did as she had been told, tears streaming freely down her cheeks._

"I'm so sorry, Santana." Brittany whispered, quickly reaching up to wipe away the tears that had escaped her eyes while listening to her girlfriend. "It makes me so angry that she said those things to you."

"You know, when my father stopped by the apartment on the day I had to go to the hospital, he told me that my mom thinks that there's still hope for me." Santana looked down at her lap as she tried to fight back her own tears. Her throat constricted tightly and she struggled to get her next words out. "I bet she still prays for me every night."

"I don't know what to say." Brittany said softly, feeling useless and helpless.

Santana placed her hand on her chest and let out a broken sob. "I-It hurts here, Britt."

Brittany felt her heart break into a million pieces. She gathered Santana in her arms as the first tears broke free and rolled down tan cheeks. Santana collapsed against Brittany's chest and Brittany brought one of her hands to Santana's head, stroking her fingers through her dark locks soothingly. Brittany wanted nothing more than to take Santana's hurt away forever but she simply didn't know how to.

"Shh, baby." Brittany pressed her lips to Santana's temple, closing her eyes and listening as Santana's breathing got more and more uncontrolled. "Just breathe. In and out." She instructed gently, feeling Santana's chest heave rapidly against her own. Now she finally understood what it felt like to be in this position and her heart ached terribly. Santana's breathing pattern slowly started to match hers and she rubbed her hand across the brunette's shoulder blades encouragingly. "That's it, San. You're okay."

"I-I'm sorry." Santana whispered brokenly, clinging onto Brittany's shirt.

"Don't apologize for anything." Brittany told her, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple. "I love you and I'd hold you for weeks if I had to. I don't ever want you to be hurting by yourself when I can be right there with you."

Santana sniffled and tucked her head under Brittany's chin, her arms draped around her waist. "Can we just stay like this for a while?"

"Of course, baby." Brittany said sweetly, her fingers still running the same soothing pattern through her girlfriend's hair. "For as long as you want to."

Santana closed her eyes and snuggled further into Brittany's chest. Brittany carefully scooted them backwards so that she was leaning against the wall, her hold on Santana never faltering. She rested her chin on top of Santana's head and started to hum softly, trying to get Santana to relax. It seemed to be working because Santana practically melted into her arms and finally, her body went completely limp.

Brittany slightly pulled back and smiled softly when she saw that Santana had fallen asleep. Careful not to wake her girlfriend, she slipped one arm under the brunette's knees and the other one around her back. She lifted her up, cradling her safely to her chest, and carried her into the bedroom, putting her down on the bed. Brittany pulled the covers of Santana's body and tucked her in before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

After closing the window in the living room, Brittany returned to the bedroom and crawled into bed behind Santana. She wrapped her arms around Santana's waist protectively and held her closely as she slowly drifted off the sleep as well.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22.**

Brittany carefully examined herself in the mirror. She kept a straight face as she let her eyes scan every inch of her body. Taking a deep breath, she smoothed the fabric of her knee-length skirt and tried to relax. She startled slightly when two arms slipped around her waist from behind but a small smile formed on her lips when her eyes met familiar brown ones. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek and rested her chin on her shoulder. "You look beautiful."

Brittany's expression changed into a solemn one. "Can you see anything?"

"Yes, my gorgeous girlfriend." Santana replied, nudging the underside of Brittany's jaw with her nose before placing a delicate kiss on the spot. Brittany closed her eyes for a brief moment before opening them again and shooting Santana a look to let her know that she wanted a serious answer. Santana spun Brittany around in her arms. She adjusted the collar of the blonde's blouse before leaning up to press her lips gently against pink ones. Pulling away, she spoke softly. "You can't see anything, babe. I promise."

Brittany nodded and turned back to the mirror. "I don't like wearing skirts or dresses."

Santana placed her hand on Brittany's lower back and rubbed the area soothingly. "You don't have to wear them if they make you uncomfortable."

"But I want to look nice." Brittany said. "You deserve a girlfriend who doesn't look like a hobo standing next to you."

"A hobo?" Santana chuckled. "Britt, wearing a dress or a skirt aren't the only options available to look dressed up. There are plenty of women who never wear a dress or a skirt."

"But I wore them all the time before… you know… Now all I do is worry about my skirt hiking up a little too far and people seeing." She paused and shook her head. "I'm so tired of this, San."

"Tired of what?" Santana asked, gently brushing her hair aside to kiss her neck.

"Of this." Brittany gestured down to her own body. "Everybody keeps telling me that I have to just accept that this is what I look like now and that I should be grateful that I'm still alive but sometimes it… it doesn't feel that way. I'm sorry if that sounds weird."

"No, I understand." Santana said softly.

It was rare for Brittany to open up to her about her self-esteem issues and Santana wanted to make sure that she wouldn't shut down. She guided the blonde to the bed and they both sat down.

"I understand that this is something that is incredibly difficult to accept and you should be able to do that at your own pace. There are no guidelines when it comes to dealing with this. You've lost so much, Britt, and it's completely okay to have moments in which you feel angry and upset with everything and everyone in the world."

Brittany gazed into Santana's eyes, happy that she was there to support her. "Sometimes things just seem so… hopeless, you know?"

"What helps getting through moments like that?" Santana asked, eager to help her girlfriend.

"You." Brittany said without any hesitation. "Looking at you and realizing that despite all the difficult things that I have to deal with, there's always that one easy thing that I can hold onto; loving you."

Santana's breathing faltered slightly as her emotions got the best of her for a moment. "I want you to know that I'm always here for you. No matter what happens. "If you're feeling down, I don't want you to have to deal with your pain by yourself. Talk to me about it, okay?"

Brittany's lips curled up into a soft smile and she nodded slowly. Santana held eye-contact for a few seconds before she wrapped her arms around Brittany and pulled her into a hug. Brittany let out a content sigh and allowed her eyes to flutter shut. There was nothing that felt more right than being in Santana's arms. She pressed a kiss to the curve of Santana's neck and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too." Santana whispered back, running her fingers through Brittany's hair. They sat there in silence for several moments, just embracing each other, before Santana spoke again. "We can stay home if you want to."

Brittany shook her head and pulled back to look at her. "We can't cancel, San. It's Mercedes' party to celebrate the release of her debut album. It's a once in a lifetime thing."

"Hmm, you're right." Santana agreed, tilting her head in thought. "Alright we'll go but only if you change into something you feel comfortable in. It's only a party, nothing fancy."

Brittany worried her bottom lip between her teeth but nodded nonetheless. "Okay."

Santana smiled in satisfaction and leaned in to connect her lips with Brittany's soft ones. Brittany sighed into the kiss and reached up to curl her hand around the back of Santana's neck, pulling her closer. Santana trailed her tongue along Brittany's bottom lip, seeking for entrance that was instantly granted. The kiss quickly grew heated, their lips moving together rapidly, and Santana had to gather all the strength within her to pull away.

Slightly out of breath, she delicately traced her fingertips over Brittany's cheek that was now colored a light shade of pink. "We should leave soon."

Brittany nodded in agreement and gave Santana one last peck on the lips before pushing herself off the bed to get changed. Santana followed Brittany with her eyes every move, smiling to herself when her girlfriend began to take off her clothes in front of her.

* * *

About half an hour later, the two of them arrived at the party, meeting Noah by the doors. Mercedes and Sam walked in a little while later and the whole room roared with applause. Everyone had come to see her and congratulate her on her album. She didn't really have time to talk to them, which was understandable, so they made their way over to the bar instead and got themselves something to drink.

A few hours into the party, it was safe to say that Brittany was drunk. She was sitting on one of the sofas in the corner, listening as Noah and Sam happily chatted away, but her eyes were glued on Santana who was busy mingling with other guests. She was snapped out of her thoughts when Noah bumped her shoulder with his own. "Santana looks like she's having fun."

Brittany narrowed her eyes and slurred out a reply. "That woman is… all over her!"

"They're just talking." Noah shrugged. He looked at her for a second and his lips quirked up into a knowing smile. "Is Britty jealous?"

"Don't call me that." Brittany grumbled. Her eyes flickered back to her girlfriend who was chatting animatedly with a blonde woman and she huffed. "San is just being soc- socia- so-…"

"Okay, don't hurt yourself." Noah laughed at the fact that his friend couldn't pronounce the word 'sociable' and patted her on the shoulder comfortingly. Sam chuckled as well and soon Brittany found herself doing the same thing. They carried on talking for a while and suddenly, Brittany felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders from behind.

"Hey baby." Santana whispered into her ear, pressing a kiss to her cheek. She frowned when Brittany hardly responded. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Brittany told her in a monotone voice, keeping her gaze fixed forward. "Did you meet any nice people?"

Santana immediately picked up on what was happening. She sighed and maneuvered herself so that she was sitting on Brittany's lap, ignoring everyone around them. "Brittany, please tell me that you're not actually jealous of that woman." She said softly, trying not to let her annoyance show. "I was just being nice. I don't even know her name."

It seemed like Brittany wasn't even listening to her. She pursed her lips and glanced over Santana's shoulder. "She's pretty."

"Britt please don't do this again." Santana replied, cupping Brittany's cheek in her hand to make sure that she had her full attention. "You can't forbid me to talk to women every time we go out." It was only then that she noticed the dazed look in Brittany's normally bright blue eyes and she released a sigh as things clicked in her head, gently caressing her girlfriend's cheek. "You're drunk."

"Noah's fault." Brittany blinked slowly.

Santana glared at Noah who just shrugged and held up his hands in defense. "What can I say, I'm good at mixing drinks."

Santana shook her head and focused her attention on Brittany again. "Do you want to go home?"

"No." Brittany said confidently, placing her hands on Santana's hips to pull her closer. She forced a smile on her face before leaning up to briefly connect their lips. Before she could pull away, however, Santana tangled her fingers into her blonde hair and deepened the kiss, gently easing her tongue into her mouth. Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest and her worries were momentarily forgotten. She knew that Santana would never cheat on her and she was going to try her hardest not to let her insecurities get the best of her again.

"Get a room!" Noah yelled from beside them.

Santana flipped him off over Brittany's shoulder. They didn't part until they were both in desperate need of oxygen and Brittany rested their foreheads together. "Go and have fun, San."

Santana smirked and got off Brittany's lap, grabbing her hand. "Come dance with me."

Brittany bit her lip and slowly shook her head. Santana tilted her head and looked at her pleadingly. Although Brittany had picked up dancing again, she was still a bit reluctant when it came to dancing with the sole purpose of having fun.

"Pretty please?" Santana tried again with the most adorable expression.

Brittany couldn't help but smile. "Okay, fine."

Santana grinned and tugged on Brittany's hand, helping her to her feet. The brunette pulled her towards the dance floor and as soon as she had found a good spot, she snaked her arms around her girlfriend's waist and pulled their bodies close together. Santana started to move her hips sensually to the beat and Brittany blushed slightly before she copied the movements. Santana smiled at how adorable Brittany was being and pressed a kiss to her flushed cheek.

They danced to their own rhythm, sipping their drinks and simply enjoying the music.

Santana never stopped looking into Brittany's blue eyes. She had come to the conclusion that there was nothing she loved more than dancing with the woman she loved. Brittany smiled shyly, her eyes flickering down to Santana's lips and back up again. Santana tenderly stroked her fingers across the skin of Brittany's cheek before she leaned into the capture the blonde's lips with her own, slowly swiping her tongue across her bottom lip. Brittany let out a soft moan in response and opened her mouth slightly, letting her in. The kiss quickly grew in intensity as they both lost themselves into the sensation of being so close to one another.

They parted and Santana nuzzled her face against Brittany's neck, sighing contentedly. She closed her eyes and listened as Brittany softly sang along to the song, tightening her arms around her waist.

The song slowly faded out and Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's cheek. "Your singing voice is so cute, babe."

The color rose in Brittany's already flushed cheeks and she ducked her head, a shy smile forming on her lips. Santana felt her heart expand in her chest. She loved that she could still turn Brittany into an adorable blushing mess after all this time.

The moment was interrupted eventually by the announcement that Mercedes was going to perform a song. Santana took Brittany's hand in her own and led her through the sea of people, watching with sparkling eyes as Mercedes made her way up the small stage where she was handed a microphone. Mercedes' eyes found Sam's and she smiled widely before she took a deep breath and began to sing.

Everyone was completely silent as Mercedes sang her heart out. Santana was absolutely mesmerized by her voice. It was mind-blowing and unlike anything she had ever heard before. She couldn't wait to hear what Mercedes had been working on for the past few years. When the last chord rang out, a moment of silence sounded before a deafening applause followed. Mercedes thanked them with a huge smile and soon, the party continued in full swing.

* * *

It was around 1 AM when Santana decided that maybe it was a good idea to call it a night. Brittany was latched onto her hip, having just downed several tequila shots with Noah. Santana had her arm around the blonde's waist, supporting most of her weight, and listened in amusement as Brittany drunkenly babbled to random party guests. "Hi, this is Santana. Isn't she gorgeous?"

The woman before them nodded awkwardly. "She is."

"Well, she's all mine." Brittany slurred, swaying from side to side. "So stay away from her."

"But you're the one who just introduced her to me." The woman replied, confused.

Brittany almost stumbled over her own feet but Santana managed to keep her upright by tightening her arm around her waist. The blonde giggled and mumbled an apology in Santana's ear before focusing her attention on the woman again. "I did. To tell you to stay away from her."

The woman raised an eyebrow at her. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Are you calling me stupid?" Brittany questioned with narrowed eyes. "That's bull- bullying and I won't accept it!"

Before the woman had the chance to reply, Sam and Noah suddenly appeared behind them. Noah, who appeared to be just as drunk as Brittany, placed his hand on Santana's shoulder and spoke a little bit too loudly. "Hello favorite people."

"Is everything okay?" Sam asked.

"This one is a bit drunk." Santana nodded at Brittany. "I should probably take her home."

Sam chuckled. "I think that's a great idea."

"Will you make sure that Noah gets home safely?" Santana asked, turning her head to press a kiss to Brittany's cheek who had started mumbling something that sounded Dutch. "He shouldn't drive in this state."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure that he's okay." Sam assured her, watching in amusement as Brittany began to place sloppy kisses all over Santana's face. "How about you two? Did you drive here?"

Santana informed him that they were going to catch a cab home because even though she was far from drunk, she had had too many drinks to drive. She would have to pick up her car in the morning. After exchanging a few words of goodbye and making Sam promise to tell Mercedes congratulations again, Santana slowly led Brittany outside where she hailed a cab.

During the drive home, Brittany had practically crawled onto Santana's lap, trailing delicate kisses up and down Santana's neck. Santana just let her, craning her neck to give her more access. After a few minutes, the soft caresses stopped and Brittany was leaning heavily against Santana. The brunette gently stroked her back and spoke softly into her ear. "Britt? Please stay awake, baby. We're almost home."

"Hmm sleepy." Brittany mumbled, her lips vibrating against the warm skin of Santana's neck.

Santana sighed and pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple. Luckily, the cab pulled up in front of their apartment less than a minute later and Santana quickly handed the driver some money before she helped Brittany get out. Getting Brittany safely upstairs proved to be harder than expected but after a few near face-plants, Santana managed to get her inside. Santana guided her into the bedroom and set her down on the bed.

"Can you get changed by yourself?" She asked, slowly stroking her fingers over the apple of Brittany's cheek. Brittany blinked up at her with a confused expression and that was all the confirmation that Santana needed. Santana helped Brittany to her feet and slowly started to unbutton Brittany's light blue blouse.

Brittany released a soft sigh and lifted her head to look at her Santana. "You would never leave me, right?"

"Of course not." Santana was quick to assure her as she continued to undress her. "Why would you even think that?" Brittany didn't respond and Santana just waited patiently. She helped Brittany slip into a t-shirt before she placed her hands on her girlfriend's shoulders and tilted her head down to catch her gaze. "Do you want to sleep in sweatpants or shorts?"

It had taken some convincing but Brittany had started to sleep in shorts more often. The only reason that she slept in sweatpants was to cover up her scars but now that she didn't have to hide in front of Santana anymore, there was no reason to suffocate herself. "Shorts."

Once Brittany was dressed, Santana made sure that she was comfortable under the sheets before she walked around the bed to do the same thing. Brittany rolled over until she was practically draped over Santana, clinging onto her. Santana gently unhooked Brittany's fingers from her waist where her grip started to hurt a little.

"Sorry."

"It's okay." Santana soothed her by dropping a kiss on her forehead. "What's wrong, Britt?"

"Nothing." Brittany's voice sounded muffled because her face was buried in the curve of Santana's neck but Santana heard her loud and clear.

Santana rubbed her hand across Brittany's shoulder blades. "Tell me."

"It's just… I've been talking to Dr. Hill more. And he told me that I have to voice my fears to you." Brittany explained. "He says it will help us both."

Santana nodded, glad that Brittany was taking her therapy so seriously now. "So tell me."

"Um… well… everyone always leaves eventually even if they say that they're not going to." Santana's brow furrowed in a painful expression as she listened to her girlfriend. "After my accident all the people that I thought were my friends stopped caring once they realized that it was going to take months for me to recover. They all disappeared, except for Noah, because they didn't want to waste their time on me and I can't blame them."

"Britt..." Santana tried to interrupt her but Brittany didn't let her.

"After my accident… I was horrible, San." Brittany paused and shuddered at the memory. "It was like I had changed into a completely different person. I refused to do anything besides moping around my apartment all day. I hardly slept and lost a lot of weight because my appetite was non-existent all of the time. I was just so sad but mostly angry. I didn't understand why I got to live while Jess didn't and it made me lash out at everyone around me. The only ones who put up with my behavior were my parents and Noah. I'm surprised that they didn't leave me too. I would have."

"They love you." Santana whispered. "You don't just leave the people that you love when things get hard. That's exactly the reason why I'm not going anywhere. You're my world, Britt.. this is the real deal. I know that there will be off days on which all you'll want to do is give up but we'll get through those days together because what you and I have is worth fighting for."

Brittany was silent as she processed Santana's words. She took Santana's free hand in her own and brought it to her lips, tenderly kissing each of her fingers as she listened to her heartbeat, taking in her warmth and comfort. It lulled her to a sense of peace she only ever experienced in Santana's presence. Taking a deep breath, she spoke again. "Do you believe in soulmates, San?"

"I.." Santana paused, taken aback by the question. "I'm not sure."

"Well, I do." Brittany said confidently, lifting her head to meet Santana's eyes. Their noses brushed against each other as Brittany rested their foreheads together, her blonde hair falling around them to create a curtain, blocking them from the world. "I think, no, I _know_ that you're my soulmate."

Santana swallowed thickly, suddenly finding it harder to breathe. "How can you be sure?"

"Because a soulmate is the person who can always make you smile, no matter what." Brittany's blue eyes bore into hers with an intensity she had never seen before. "The person who shares your hopes and dreams. The person who makes you feel whole." Santana shuddered when delicate lips touched hers so lightly that it tickled. "You're that person for me."

Santana brought up her hand to gently caress Brittany's cheek, lightly tracing her girlfriend's bottom lip with her thumb. The corners of Brittany's eyes crinkled as she smiled widely, melting Santana's heart in the process. Brittany leaned down and connected their lips, applying just enough pressure to make Santana crave more of her touch. Her hand found the back of Brittany's neck and she played with the soft hairs she found there as she pulled Brittany into another kiss, feeling a familiar warmth course through her veins.

Brittany slowly pulled away and pecked her on the lips one last time before nestling her head against Santana's chest again. Santana absentmindedly rubbed Brittany's back, listening as her girlfriend's breathing slowly evened out. The brunette smiled to herself and closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

* * *

A few days later, Brittany quietly closed the door behind her as she entered the apartment. It was late at night and she knew that Santana was already asleep by now. She took off her coat and kicked off her shoes before she made her way into the bedroom where Santana was curled up on the bed, appearing to be sound asleep. Brittany sighed as she slowly started to undress herself, wincing as all the muscles in her body ached.

Unbeknownst to Brittany, Santana was still awake and watching as she moved across the room. The brunette felt her heart clench in her chest when Brittany sat down on the edge of the bed, grabbing the tube of ointment that was already waiting for her in the drawer. She had been using it a lot more often lately since she came home exhausted most nights of the week. Santana feared that she was wearing herself out but every time she brought it up, Brittany would tell her that she could handle it.

Brittany startled slightly when she felt soft lips touch her shoulder but she relaxed immediately when she realized that it was Santana. The brunette silently took the tube of ointment from her hands and went to work, rubbing Brittany's back with care. Brittany let her heavy eyelids fall closed, completely surrendering to Santana's touch. Once Santana was finished, Brittany thanked her quietly before she got off the bed to grab a shirt.

A few minutes later, Brittany crawled into bed next to Santana. She shifted to settle behind Santana but Santana stopped her, flashing her a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Please let me hold you, Britt."

Brittany rolled over onto her side and Santana settled behind her, wrapping her arms around her slim waist and nuzzling her face against the back of her neck, inhaling her scent. Brittany exhaled slowly and took hold of Santana's hand, clasping it to her chest. "How was dinner with Andrea?" She asked softly, her eyes closed.

"It was good." Santana replied in an equally soft tone, kissing the back of her neck. "I'm starting to feel more and more comfortable around her. I think that things might actually work out between us."

"I'm glad." Brittany murmured, sounding genuine. Santana had met up with Andrea a couple of times now and Andrea really seemed to want to put an effort into getting to know each other again. But despite all this, Brittany still had the feeling that she couldn't be trusted. It was just something that her gut instinct told her. "Just be careful, San."

"I will be." Santana reassured her. She pushed herself up slightly so that she could see Brittany's face more clearly. She looked exhausted. Her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes which were closed. Santana studied her features for a moment before pressing a kiss to her cheek. "How was the show?"

"Great." Brittany mumbled, seemingly seconds away from falling asleep.

Santana sighed and decided to let her be. She pressed her lips just below Brittany's ear and placed a light kiss on the sensitive spot, tightening her arms around the other girl's waist. Brittany snuggled back into her, their hips fitting together perfectly, and relaxed in her embrace. It wasn't long before Brittany's deep, even breaths filled the room and it was only then that Santana could fully relax too.

A few hours later, Santana was awoken by the feeling of Brittany shifting repeatedly in her arms. She forced her eyes open and glanced down at Brittany's face. Brittany appeared to be in a restless sleep, her skin covered in a thin layer of sweat. Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and ran her fingers through Brittany's hair, lightly scratching her nails across her scalp in an attempt to soothe her. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's temple and then another one to her cheek for good measure.

"Shh." She whispered in her ear, the calming noise contrasting with Brittany's noises of despair. "It's okay, babe. I'm right here."

She continued to whisper comforting things in Brittany's ear, calming her with gentle caresses until Brittany finally seemed to drift into a more peaceful sleep. Santana blinked away the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes and nuzzled her nose into Brittany's hair, never wanting to let go of her.

"There you go." She whispered, more to herself than anyone else. "You're okay."

Santana waited until she was absolutely certain that Brittany was okay before allowing herself to fall back asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Santana leaned against the wall in the living room, silently watching Brittany who was sitting on the couch, reading a book. She looked relaxed but the dark circles under her eyes gave away how tired she really was. Santana stood there for a while before she finally decided to make her presence known. "Babe?"

"Hmm?" Brittany hummed, not looking up from her book.

"Can we talk?" Santana asked as she took a seat next to her.

This caught Brittany's attention and her eyes widened slightly as she slammed her book shut. "Why?"

The hint of fear in Brittany's voice didn't go unnoticed by Santana and she quickly reached out to place her hand on the blonde's knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't worry." She said simply, hoping to put Brittany's nerves at ease. Brittany nodded, still looking worried, and leaned back in her seat, tilting her head questioningly. Santana took a moment to gather her thoughts before she spoke again. "You were restless all night."

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized, guiltily glancing down at her hands.

"No, honey." Santana quickly shook her head, giving her knee another squeeze. "I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. I just want you to realize that things can't go on like this. You're exhausted, Britt."

Brittany worried her bottom lip between her teeth. "It's not that bad."

"It is." Santana argued, trying her hardest not to let her frustration get the best of her. She took a calming breath before continuing. "I can't remember the last time you had a good night's rest and honestly, it's starting to affect me too. I hate seeing you like that and it's not easy having to calm you down. It'd be really nice to be able to sleep through the night for once."

"I-I'm sorry." Brittany whispered, ducking her chin to her chest.

Santana wanted nothing more than to gather Brittany in her arms but she knew that she had to hold her ground if she wanted any chance of getting through to her girlfriend.

"Again, I just want you to understand that something needs to happen. I'm not saying that your exhaustion is the only reason for your nightmares but it definitely plays a role." Santana softened when Brittany started to fidget slightly. "I just want you to take it easy, Brittany. You never have time to relax and it's unhealthy."

"But I was relaxing just now." Brittany protested weakly.

"Yeah and you're leaving for work again in," Santana glanced up at the clock to confirm the time before looking at Brittany again. "two hours." She sighed when Brittany didn't say anything. "Look, this isn't just about you but also about me. We hardly spend time together and I miss you. You're either at work or rehearsing for the show. Can't you at least admit that maybe you're taking on a little bit too much?"

Brittany shrugged. "Maybe."

"Would it really be such a bad thing to quit your job at Joey's?" Santana asked carefully. "You don't even like working there."

"I may not like the work but I like the people."

"Is that enough reason to stay?" Santana questioned. Brittany silently stared ahead, chewing on her bottom lip. Santana sighed again, it felt like that was all she had been doing lately. "They would understand, Britt. I wish you would put yourself first for once."

Brittany made eye-contact for the first time in what felt like hours. "But San, this production won't last forever and what if I won't be able to find something else after it ends?" Santana looked at her in confusion so she continued. "I need my job at Joey's as something to fall back on. I don't want to become reliant on you when it comes to money."

Realization washed over Santana's features. "Babe, the end of the production is still months away and I'm sure that you'll easily be able to find something else after it ends. If not, we'll worry about that then." She stared into Brittany's eyes for a moment before leaning in to press a lingering kiss to the blonde's cheek. "Please Britt, you know I'm right."

Brittany briefly closed her eyes before opening them again and nodding once. "Okay."

"Okay?" Santana echoed, not quite believing what she had just heard.

"Okay, I'll quit." Brittany clarified.

Santana pressed a kiss to the corner of Brittany's mouth and then to her lips, holding the contact for a moment before pulling back. A few seconds of silence passed as a thought entered Santana's mind.

"Can I ask you something?" She asked quietly. Brittany's eyes darted around her face, looking for something, before she nodded once. "After your accident, didn't you receive any insurance money?"

Brittany nodded. "I did."

"Where did it all go?" Santana asked, confused.

"I donated it to a charity for burn victims." Came Brittany's soft, almost shy, reply. "It felt wrong to keep money that I received because of something that took my best friend's life."

Santana's lips quirked up into a smile as she felt her heart swell with love. "That was a very kind thing to do, Britt."

"It just seemed like the right thing to do." Brittany shrugged. Santana just continued to stare at her with an adoring look on her face and she blushed furiously, averting her gaze away. She cleared her throat and hesitated before asking, "Will you cuddle with me before I have to leave?"

Santana couldn't suppress the grin that spread across her features. "I would love to."

Brittany smiled and held her arms open for Santana to fall into. Santana cuddled up against Brittany, her head on the blonde's shoulder, as Brittany wrapped her arms around her waist. Brittany dropped a kiss on the top of Santana's head and sighed contentedly, absorbing the comfort, the reassurance that she found in Santana.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23.**

"Brittany? Are you still with me?"

Brittany shook her head, as if to clear it, and looked at Dr. Hill. She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to find the right words to say.

"I remember waking up on the ground." She started quietly, her fingers picking on the leather of the armchair. "At first I couldn't hear anything because there was a loud buzzing sound in my ears. There was smoke everywhere and it was hard to see. Things slowly started to come into focus but I didn't immediately realize what had happened. I remember screams of terror and the smell of burning flesh. I looked around and there were bodies everywhere, some were missing limbs, others were decapitated." She blinked slowly, her eyes a shade darker than usual. "I could see people running around in panic, calling out the names of their children. Then suddenly the pain hit me all at once. It was excruciating, beyond anything I had ever felt before. I think I started screaming at that point but I'm not sure."

Dr. Hill watched as Brittany's eyes clouded over, the emotions that she had been keeping in finally catching up with her. He gave her a moment, using the time to scribble down some notes. When it became clear that Brittany wasn't going to continue, he spoke up. "You're doing really well, Brittany. What happened next?"

"Everything stopped. All of a sudden I felt peaceful, like I had been liberated from all the pain. There was this endless silence. It was like I was dreaming. I remember seeing Jess. Next thing I knew I was in the hospital."

"What do you remember about that?"

Brittany looked down at her lap. "I was scared."

 _A whimper escaped Brittany's lips as she slowly opened her eyes. Her head was throbbing painfully and her mouth felt dry. She blinked a few times and the world around her slowly began to regain its focus. Her heartbeat sped up in panic when she didn't recognize her surroundings. She flinched when a warm hand touched her cheek and she yanked her head to the side. "Where am I?"_

" _You're in the hospital, honey. It's okay."_

 _Brittany vaguely registered her mom's words but they didn't comfort her at all. Her eyes frantically darted around as memories slowly started to enter her mind. In one swift movement, she threw the sheets off her and her face scrunched up in horror at what she saw. There were bandages around her abdomen, back, chest and thighs as well. Her breathing quickened considerably and her panic turned into shouting. "What happened? Where is Jess?"_

" _Shh, calm down." Susan tried to reach out for Brittany but she scrambled away, her eyes wide and frightened. "Please Britt, just relax. I don't want you to hurt yourself."_

" _Where is Jess?" Brittany asked in desperation, tears welling up in her eyes._

 _Susan glanced at her husband with sad eyes before she looked at Brittany again. She inhaled deeply and took one of Brittany's hands in her own, squeezing firmly when Brittany tried to pull away. "I'm so, so sorry, honey."_

" _No." Brittany whispered in disbelief. Her eyes flickered from her mom to her dad and back again, pleading them to tell her that was she had just been told wasn't true. "No." She repeated with more force this time. The devastated looks on her parents' faces was all the confirmation she needed. A broken sob escaped her throat and she started to fumble with the IV drip attached to her arm, trying to rip it out, while chanting the same word over and over again. "No, no, no…"_

 _The heart-monitor started to beep faster and seconds later, a nurse rushed to her side._

 _"Please stay calm." The woman tried to sooth her, holding her arms still. "You're going to rip your bandages."_

" _Where is Jess?" Brittany yelled, now trashing on the bed, and the nurse rushed out the room to get help. Brittany wasn't aware of the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. Her eyes landed on her dad who had backed into the corner of the room, his hand clasped over his mouth in defeat and fear for his daughter._

 _"Please." Brittany begged him._

" _I'm sorry, sweetie." Martin whispered brokenly._

 _The nurse returned with a doctor and they both tried to get Brittany to calm down. "Brittany, I need you to take it easy." The doctor spoke loudly over Brittany's panicked cries. "You just had some major surgeries, you're weak and your body is still recovering. You'll only worsen your condition if you keep working yourself up like this."_

 _Brittany didn't listen to him and continued to struggle. She was vaguely aware of a needle puncturing her skin. It didn't take long for the sedative to do its work and she once again slipped into a world of darkness._

"What happened when you woke up for the second time?"

Brittany sighed. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"You should."

"No I don't." Brittany told him, irritation evident in her voice. "Why does it matter? I just want you to help me get rid of my nightmares and I don't see what my recovery process has to do with anything."

"I'm not just talking about your recovery process." Dr. Hill stated calmly. "You need to start opening up about Jess."

Brittany froze at the mention of her best friend's name. "Why?"

Dr. Hill tilted his head and looked at her intently, his gaze sympathetic. "Because we need to start dealing with the unresolved hurt and fear that's still lingering in your heart." Brittany chewed on her bottom lip as she nodded slowly. The therapist waited for a moment before asking, "What do you feel when you're thinking of her?"

"I miss her." Brittany whispered.

"What else?"

"I-I feel guilty." Brittany hesitantly looked up to meet his eyes. "I feel responsible for her death. She was on that plane because of me. No matter how many times people tell me that it's not my fault, it still feels like it is."

"Have you been in contact with any of her family members since the crash?"

Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion. "Yes, her parents. Why?"

"What have they said to you?"

Brittany had no idea what this had to do with it but she answered the question anyway.

"When I first saw her after the accident, Mrs. Duncan hugged me for the longest time." A small, humorless smile formed on her lips at the memory. "She told me that she was glad that I was alright, well given the circumstances, and then she started crying and hugged me again."

"Has she ever mentioned blaming you for anything?" Dr. Hill asked.

"No." Brittany clenched her hands into fists in frustration. "Does that matter? It doesn't change what happened."

"It does matter, Brittany." Dr. Hill countered calmly. He gave Brittany a moment to calm down before continuing. "Do you think Jess would blame you for her death?"

Brittany sank further into her seat, letting out a sigh of defeat. "Yes."

"Why is that?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because she told me!" Brittany snapped. "In my nightmares… she told me."

Dr. Hill observed Brittany for a moment. She looked tired but mostly confused. "Dreams are created in our subconscious. They are developed from our innermost thoughts. When those thoughts are our fears, the dream turns into a nightmare." Brittany continued to stare at him so he explained. "What I'm trying to say is that you can't base your answer on what happens in your nightmares. It is often said that a nightmare is the mind's way of alerting us to the fact that we have unresolved problems. The subconscious brings our attention to these problems so that we can resolve them in real life."

Brittany looked at him curiously but she didn't say anything.

"In your case, your unresolved problem is the guilt that you're still carrying around. Your nightmares represent this." Dr. Hill continued. Brittany's eyes were still focused on him so he knew that he had her attention. "It's horrible that Jess died but Brittany, it's not your fault. You can't heal until you let go of your guilt."

Brittany had shrunk back into the chair and herself, a single tear dripping down her face. "How do I do that?"

"It's not something that will happen overnight." Dr. Hill stated with a soft smile, relieved that they were getting somewhere. "You have to come to terms with the fact that there wasn't anything you could do. You have to accept what happened before you can move on. You have to make it right within yourself, no one can do that for you."

Brittany was silent for a long time before she finally whispered, "I'll try."

* * *

Brittany closed the door behind her and walked further into the apartment, dropping her keys on the table. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, breathing out a slow sigh as she tried to get her thoughts in order. Her session with Dr. Hill had been progressive but she felt emotionally drained and exhausted. She heard Santana's footsteps before she heard her voice.

"Hey, babe. How did it…"

Before Santana could finish her sentence, Brittany turned around and pulled her into a deep kiss. The brunette was surprised by the forcefulness of her actions and it took her a moment to respond to the kiss, her eyes fluttering shut. Santana placed her hands on Brittany's hips and rubbed small circles over them soothingly. The blonde gently stroked her tongue over hers, before she pulled back to nibble at her upper lip.

"What was that for?" Santana whispered, dazed.

A blush spread across Brittany's cheeks and she shrugged sheepishly. "I just felt like doing that."

"You're too cute for your own good sometimes." Santana said, grinning when Brittany blushed even more furiously. "See?"

Brittany rolled her eyes and shoved her playfully. "Stop it."

"Never." Santana teased, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist to keep her in place. A few moments of silence passed as Santana studied Brittany's features, a gentle smile in place. Blue eyes stared back at her shyly and Santana could see the hint of exhaustion in them. "How was your session with Dr. Hill?"

Brittany bit her lip thoughtfully. "It was really good actually. We talked about a lot of things."

"I'm glad that you're starting to open up more and more." Santana said, sliding her hand down Brittany's neck and resting it on her shoulder. "I'm proud of you." The blush on her girlfriend's cheeks that had started to fade slightly flared up again and she couldn't help but smile, gently rubbing Brittany's shoulder. "You look tired."

"I guess I am a little bit." Brittany admitted in a soft voice.

Santana pouted in sympathy. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Well," Brittany started slowly, making Santana tilt her head curiously. "We could order in and watch movies in bed tonight? We haven't done that in a while."

Santana smiled and leaned in to peck her lightly on the lips. "I'd love to."

A few hours later, after they had eaten, they found themselves settled comfortably in bed. Brittany was curled up against Santana and her head was resting on the brunette's shoulder. Her body was fighting sleep, she wanted to stay awake and spend time with Santana. She sighed and draped her arm over her girlfriend's waist, pulling her even closer. Her thoughts wandered off to her session with Dr. Hill again. She couldn't stop replaying it in her head.

Santana smiled contentedly and wrapped her arm around Brittany's shoulders. She tenderly nuzzled her nose into Brittany's hair before her lips placed soft butterfly kisses behind her ear, her fingers trailing down her girlfriend's arm in a loving caress. There was nothing she loved more than holding Brittany, breathing in her sweet scent, touching her, and kissing her perfectly shaped lips. If it was up to her, she would stay in this position for the rest of her life.

About twenty minutes into the movie, Santana noticed that Brittany wasn't paying attention at all. A small frown creased her brow when she saw the distracted look on Brittany's face. Her eyes were on the TV but her mind was clearly somewhere else. Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead. "What are you thinking about?"

Brittany jumped slightly when she was startled out of her thoughts by Santana's voice. "Hmm?"

"You okay? What's on your mind?"

"Just something that Dr. Hill told me."

"What's that?" Santana nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose, silently requesting eye-contact.

"We discussed my nightmares." Brittany started quietly. "Dr. Hill told me that nightmares expose us to the unresolved problems that we have in real life."

Santana nodded. "That makes sense."

"Yeah, it does." Brittany agreed in a soft voice. She took a deep breath and looked down to where her hand was placed on Santana's stomach. "You're always in my nightmares and most of the times… I-… I have to watch you die in front of me."

"Britt..." Santana whispered. She knew that she often appeared in her girlfriend's nightmares but hearing Brittany talk about it was new.

"This got me thinking…" Brittany continued, smiling softly to let Santana know that she was alright. "You dying in my nightmares must be a result of the fear of losing you that I have in real life. I know it's a stupid fear, especially after everything that we've been through together, but I can't help it. Sometimes it's just so hard to understand why you want to be with me when there are so many other girls that you could be with. I have all these scars and emotional issues and honestly, I wouldn't blame you if you got tired of it all." She shook her head and smiled sadly. "But still, I know that you're not going anywhere because you've told me so many times and I trust you. And I…"

"And what?" Santana asked when Brittany showed no signs of continuing. She had no idea what her girlfriend was trying to say.

Brittany released a slow breath. "And I don't want my stupid insecurities to end up being what chases you away. What if you get tired of having to reassure me?" She looked Santana in the eyes, finding comfort in the familiar shades of brown. "Do you get what I'm saying? I do really trust you and I know you wouldn't hurt me. I just think that losing you is my deepest fear and that's what's causing my nightmares so I guess those insecurities are still there somewhere deep down."

Santana chewed on her lip in thought. "I do get what you're saying."

"Things haven't exactly been a walk in the park with me so..."

Santana rolled her eyes. "We both have our issues and would you ever hold mine against me?"

"Of course not."

"That's what I'm saying." Santana scooted backwards against the headboard and placed a pillow on her lap. "Come here."

Brittany settled beside her, resting her head on the pillow. Santana's fingers immediately found their way into her hair, combing through her long locks slowly, and she could feel herself start to relax. "Am I being silly?"

"Nope. I think it just takes time for those insecurities to fully go away but as long as you talk to me about them like you're doing now, I'm happy." Santana leaned down to press a kiss to her temple. "But for what it counts, I've always loved everything about you, including the things you hate about yourself, especially those things. They're what make you, you. And you are absolutely, one hundred percent beautiful. I know that you're scared of losing me but you don't have to be."

Brittany bit her lip as butterflies erupted in her stomach. She watched as Santana took her hand and clasped it to her chest, her brown orbs showing nothing but pure love. Brittany could feel the rapid beating of Santana's heart as she slowly moved her fingers over warm, tan skin. "Why is your heart beating so fast?"

"Because I'm scared, too." Santana admitted, gazing deeply into her eyes.

Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"Because I'm scared that you won't believe me." Santana replied, her fingers still brushing the same pattern through Brittany's hair. "I'm scared that one day your insecurities will win and you'll be the one leaving me."

Brittany felt her throat constrict tightly. "That's not going to happen. "I can't predict the future but as long as you're with me, San – as long as we're _together_ – I feel like I can do anything."

Tears abruptly formed in Santana's eyes as her emotions overwhelmed her.

"Oh no." Brittany's eyes widened in alarm. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry…"

Santana gave a watery chuckle and shook her head. "They're happy tears, I promise."

A small smile formed on Brittany's face and she reached up to gently brush Santana's tears away. "You're so cute."

"Thank God Quinn can't see me like this."

"I'm sure Quinn already knows that you're actually a big softie."

Santana just pulled a face.

* * *

A little while later, Santana walked into the bedroom after having taken a shower and saw Brittany sitting on the edge of the bed, staring intently at the photo album that was settled on her lap. She eyed her curiously for a moment before making her way towards the closet to change into some sleep clothes. Once she was finished, she quietly took a seat next to her girlfriend. "What are you looking at?"

"Pictures." Brittany said quietly, not looking up. "Of Jess."

Santana nodded in understanding. She placed her hand on Brittany's lower back and watched as the blonde slowly flipped through the photo album. They had a picture of Jess in the living room so she already knew what she looked like but it was still nice to see pieces of the life of the person that meant so much to Brittany. Santana smiled softly when a picture of a small blonde and brunette was revealed. "Is that you?"

"Yeah." Brittany said, her eyes lightening up. "We grew up together so I'm in a lot of pictures."

Santana's smile widened but she didn't say anything. Brittany continued to flip the pages, explaining every picture, and Santana listened intently. It was rare for Brittany to share stories about Jess so she wanted to capture this moment and remember it forever. The smile on Brittany's face as she talked about Jess made her heart race in the best possible way.

"This was taken on prom night." Brittany commented, lightly tracing her fingers over the picture.

"You both looked beautiful." Santana replied, looking at the two girls in beautiful dresses, standing at the bottom of the stairs with their arms linked. "Where were your dates?"

"We didn't have dates." Brittany explained, looking up to meet her eyes. "I was the only openly out gay kid at school so I didn't have anyone to go with. I almost didn't go at all but then Jess ditched the guy that was supposed to be her date and offered to go with me as friends instead." She paused and looked down at the picture again. "I refused at first because I didn't want to ruin her night but she told me that prom wouldn't be complete without me so I gave in."

"That's sweet." Santana said.

Brittany nodded. "She was sweet."

They continued to look at pictures until Brittany turned the last page. "This is the last picture we ever took together."

Santana felt her heart clench tightly in her chest and she couldn't stop herself from leaning in to press a kiss to Brittany's cheek. Brittany closed her eyes at the contact before opening them again and looking down at the photo album. "Jess was grumpy that day and didn't want to take a picture. I'm glad I was so pushy about it – now I'll have it with me forever."

Santana waited patiently until Brittany had closed the photo album before wrapping her arm around the blonde's waist and pressing a kiss to her temple. "Thank you for sharing this with me."

Brittany turned so that she could wrap her arms around Santana's neck, pulling her into a warm hug. Santana hugged her back tightly, running her hand up and down her back. After a while, they pulled away but kept their arms around each other. Brittany flashed her a small, sad smile.

"I don't want to feel guilty anymore. I want to feel free." She said. "For the first time since the accident, I want to feel… free."

Santana gazed into her eyes curiously. "What do you mean?"

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me, Santana." Brittany told her, resting their foreheads together. "And I want to move past this, not only for me but for you as well. I want to work through this. I will get better."

Santana pressed her lips lightly against quivering pink ones. "That's what she would've wanted."

Brittany's lips formed into a trembling smile. "I know."

Santana had to fight back her tears. She was just so happy with the amount of progress that her girlfriend had made. "I love you, Brittany. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too." Brittany whispered. "More than you could ever realize."

Santana cupped Brittany's cheek and brought their lips together in a passionate kiss, humming as the familiar taste of her girlfriend flooded her senses. The kiss was slow and intense and Brittany's heart raced as her arms tightened around Santana's waist. She had lost count of the number of times that Santana had kissed her but it never failed to excite her. Santana pulled back reluctantly, keeping their faces close together. They both needed a few seconds to catch their breath.

"Are you okay?" Santana was the first one to speak.

Brittany nodded and gave her another chaste kiss on the lips. "Better than ever."

* * *

"How late will you be home from rehearsals tomorrow?" Santana asked the following morning.

Brittany looked up from her book and shot her a confused look. "Why?"

"I forgot to tell you but I invited Andrea over for dinner." Santana explained with an apologetic smile. She noticed the shift in Brittany's eyes and the tightening in her jaw before she nodded and looked down at her book again. Santana frowned and moved to stand behind her, placing her hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled far too quickly.

"No tell me." Santana urged, squeezing her shoulders gently. Brittany ignored her and continued to stare down at her book stubbornly, obviously not really reading the words. Santana eyed her for a moment before she walked around the chair and slid onto Brittany's lap. "Britt, don't ignore me."

Brittany sighed and closed her book, reaching around Santana to place it on the table. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Well, there's obviously something on your mind." Santana said.

A flicker of guilt crossed Brittany's face and she looked down to where her hands were nervously tugging at the hem of her sweater.

Santana sighed. "What is it?"

Brittany took a deep breath in preparation before answering the question truthfully. "I just don't like Andrea, that's all."

"Why not?" Santana asked, confused.

"I don't know." Brittany shrugged, averting her gaze once again. She was nervous to talk to Santana about this out of fear of hurting her feelings. "For some reason my gut feeling tells me that she can't be trusted."

Santana narrowed her eyes defensively and slid off Brittany's lap, stepping out of her reach. "I'm sorry, Brittany, but that's ridiculous. You've only met her once, for like 5 minutes."

Brittany flinched at the harsh tone of Santana's voice. "I know and I really hope that I'm wrong." She tried to grab Santana's hand but Santana shook her head and took a step backwards, silently telling her to stay away. Brittany's face fell. "San... please don't be mad at me."

"I thought I had your support on this." Santana said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been so happy to be spending time with Andrea these last couple of weeks and now you're suddenly telling me that you don't trust her?" She stared Brittany with a hard expression before adding, "Do you not want me to be happy or something?"

Brittany's breath hitched and her eyes clouded over. She looked down at her hands as they twisted together in her lap. "How could you even ask me that?"

Santana cringed at the hurt and disappointment in Brittany's voice. She knew that she had majorly fucked up by asking that question. She hesitated for a moment before stepping closer to Brittany and reaching out to cup her cheek in her hand. She looked up at Santana with tear-filled eyes, effectively breaking her heart.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "That was a stupid question. I know that you wish me all the happiness in the world."

"I didn't mean to make you mad."

" _Hey_ ," Santana breathed out, returning to her previous position on Brittany's lap. "I'm glad that you told me. I guess you just took me by surprise." She sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. "I really want things to work out between Andrea and me. It's a pretty sensitive subject to me so I get defensive easily. I'm sorry."

Brittany bit her lip and wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, opting to look at her nose rather than her eyes. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"Yes, you should have." Santana protested, trying to catch Brittany's gaze but to no avail. "Babe." Blue eyes flickered up to hers and she smiled softly. "You can always talk to me, you know that. Communication was an issue for us before and we both agreed not to let that happen again."

Brittany nodded. "You're right."

Santana kissed the tip of Brittany's nose, getting a smile that melted her heart in return. "I love that you're looking out for me but I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself."

"I know." Brittany mumbled.

"That doesn't mean that I'm not grateful that you're trying to help."

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know." Santana replied with sympathetic eyes. "I'll be careful."

Brittany nodded and flashed her a smile. She craned her neck to kiss the brunette gently.

Nuzzling her nose into Brittany's hair, Santana breathed in her scent, as Brittany's fingers slipped underneath her shirt, lightly trailing along her warm skin. They sat there like that for a while until Brittany broke the silence. "I should go soon."

Santana kissed the top of her head and pulled away to look at her. "I'm glad that you've been taking time to relax lately."

"It's just lunch with Noah." Brittany said quietly.

"Yeah but still," Santana shrugged. "You've been a lot less stressed lately."

Brittany nodded in agreement but didn't say anything.

"You can take my car, by the way." Santana informed her. "I'm going to be home all day anyway."

"That's sweet but it's your car."

"What's mine is yours now." Santana said with a grin before leaning in to place sloppy kisses all over Brittany's face, eliciting an adorable giggle from the blonde. She pulled back slightly and tilted her head in adoration. "You should probably go."

"Noah can wait for a while." Brittany smiled mischievously as she curled her hand around the back of Santana's neck and pulled her down for a kiss. Santana hummed in approval and immediately melted into the familiar warmth that was Brittany.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24.**

"San?" Brittany called out when she came home that day. She had just had a long day of rehearsals and couldn't wait to spend a relaxing night at home with her girlfriend. A smile found its way to her lips when she spotted Santana in the kitchen by the stove, in the midst of cooking something that smelled delicious. "There you are."

Santana glanced over her shoulder and smiled warmly. "Hey."

"I missed you." Brittany admitted sweetly as she approached Santana and wrapped her arms around her waist from behind. She brushed Santana's hair over one shoulder, exposing the side of her neck, and started a slow trail of kisses up tan skin. "How was your day?"

"Good." Santana shuddered as Brittany took her earlobe between her teeth, lightly biting down on it before releasing it. She turned around in Brittany's arms and placed her hands on the blonde's hips, leaning in to place a light kiss on her lips. "How were rehearsals?"

"Exhausting but not in a bad way." Brittany said, dropping her head onto Santana's shoulder. She sighed contentedly when slender fingers began to comb through her hair and she allowed her eyes to momentarily fall closed. They stood there like that for a while until Brittany slightly pulled back and pressed a lingering kiss to the curve of Santana's neck.

"I missed you though." She repeated her earlier words in a low murmur. Her hand slipped underneath Santana's t-shirt and she lightly scraped her nails over the smaller girl's abs. "Like really, really missed you."

Santana smirked at Brittany's unsubtly. "Britt, we can't."

"Why not?" Brittany questioned before she attached her lips to the smooth skin of Santana's neck, applying enough pressure to make Santana squirm against her.

"Because…" Santana faltered, distracted by the feeling of Brittany's lips on her pulse point. "Andrea is coming over, remember?" Brittany abruptly pulled back and judged by the expression on her face, she hadn't remembered. "I told you this yesterday."

"Yeah, I know." Brittany replied softly, her cheeks heating up. "It just slipped my mind for a second because of rehearsals and you looking so beautiful…" She trailed off and stepped out of Santana's embrace. "I'll just go take a shower."

Santana grabbed her hand to stop her from going anywhere. "You're not going to… make a scene or anything, are you?"

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked with a furrowed brow.

"I know that you're not exactly happy with this." Santana explained with a shrug.

"I'll behave myself if that's what you're asking." Brittany told her, looking offended, as she pulled her hand out of the brunette's grasp. "I know that she means a lot to you so I would never do anything to ruin that. Yeah I still have a feeling that she can't be trusted but that doesn't mean that I'm not willing to give her a chance. Everyone deserves at least one chance."

Santana's lips quirked up into a small smile. "Thank you."

Brittany pressed her lips together in a tight line and didn't say anything. She held Santana's gaze for another moment before she turned around and headed towards the bedroom. Santana leaned back against the counter and ran her hand through her hair in frustration. She knew that her girlfriend was just looking out for her but Andrea had given her no reason not to trust her. She sighed and turned around to resume cooking.

A while later, Santana had just put the food in the oven when there was a knock on the door. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Santana crossed the apartment to welcome her cousin.

"Hey." She greeted the younger brunette brightly, pulling her into a hug. "How are you?"

"I'm great." Andrea smiled as they parted. "I'm sorry that Paulo couldn't make it; he has to work a late shift." Santana just nodded and watched as Andrea looked around curiously. "You have a nice apartment."

"Thanks." Santana smiled, closing the door. She guided Andrea further inside and excitedly showed her around. "Britt definitely put her touch on the place when she moved in." She chuckled when they reached the living room and nodded towards the huge bookshelf that took up a lot of space. "She's even more of a book nerd than I am so we had to expand our bookshelf. The books on the left side are hers."

Andrea looked amused. "You both have your own side?"

"Well, yeah." Santana shrugged sheepishly.

"That's strangely cute." Andrea commented as her eyes scanned over the covers of the books. "I can tell that Brittany's into fantasy."

"Yeah she kind of has an obsession with Harry Potter."

"Who does?"

Santana smiled at the sound of Brittany's voice. She waited until the blonde was at her side before wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You do."

Brittany just nodded as her eyes settled on Andrea. A few moments of silence passed until Santana awkwardly cleared her throat. "So..."

"It's nice to see you again, Brittany." Andrea spoke up, smiling nervously. "We didn't meet under the best circumstances."

Brittany shuddered at the memory of Santana in the hospital before nodding slowly in agreement. Another awkward moment of silence passed that was interrupted by the beep of the oven. Brittany helped Santana with the food and a few minutes later they were all seated at the table. The room was filled with tension and Santana wracked her mind, trying to find a way to start up a conversation.

"This tastes delicious." Andrea commented softly.

Santana shot her a small smile. "I'm glad."

Silence fell over them again. The only sound that could be heard was the scraping of cutlery. Santana sighed as she watched Brittany poke at her food distractedly, her jaw set tightly. She reached over to place her hand on the blonde's knee and gave it a squeeze. Brittany looked up and Santana shot her a pleading look, silently begging her to remember their conversation from earlier. Brittany's eyes softened and she gave her a small nod in reply.

"Santana told me that you're a teacher." She finally spoke up, making Santana sigh out in relief.

Andrea's eyes widened slightly in surprise but she nodded enthusiastically. "That's right."

"I bet you're driving those kids crazy." Santana joked.

Andrea chuckled. "I like the kids. Sometimes it's hard to deal with them, given the age they're at, but that's just because they're still trying to figure out their life. It's interesting to see who these kids turn into."

A subtle smile formed on Brittany's lips as she listened to Andrea. "That's nice."

"Teaching is my passion." Andrea said before taking a sip from her drink. "What's yours?"

"Dance." Brittany replied without any hesitation, getting a loving smile from Santana. "I used to work as a waitress as well but I gave that up to focus all my attention on a play that I'm in."

"What kind of play is it?" Andrea asked, sounding genuinely interested.

"It's only a small production so it's not that special." Brittany said with a shrug.

Santana rolled her eyes at her girlfriend and gave her knee another gentle squeeze. "You're amazing in it and you know it." Brittany's face heated up as she blushed slightly. Santana smiled adoringly and leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek, chuckling when it turned an ever brighter shade of red. "Stop being so modest, babe."

Andrea watched the exchanged with a soft smile, and Brittany noticed. No hint of disgust or anything. Maybe she had been wrong after all.

"Have you always danced?"

"I've danced ever since I could walk, at least that's what I've been told." Brittany explained. "I moved to the city to pursue a dancing career but..." She paused and shifted uncomfortably, trying to find the right words. "Some stuff happened and I had to give it up."

To her relief, Andrea just nodded in understanding. "What made you decide to pick it up again?"

"Santana." Brittany answered softly, glancing at her girlfriend who was watching her with a bright smile. She was happy that Brittany was genuinely trying to get along with Andrea, the tension in the room lessening gradually. "She made me see that it's okay to follow my dreams."

"Who knew Santana was such a softie." Andrea teased, grinning widely.

Santana scoffed, trying her best not to let her embarrassment show. Brittany flashed her a beaming smile that made her heart skip a beat and turned her into a puddle of mush. She shot a glare in her cousin's direction at the sound of her laughing.

They continued to chat lightly as they finished eating. Despite Santana's protests, Brittany started to clean everything up, figuring it'd only be fair since Santana had done the cooking. She looked up in surprise when Andrea entered the kitchen, carrying their dirty plates, and she forced a smile on her face. "Thanks. You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." Andrea replied, placing the plates on the counter.

Brittany shifted uneasily from foot to foot as she started to rinse off some of the dirty dishes, feeling Andrea's eyes burn holes into the sides of her head. She was used to feeling awkward around people she didn't know very well but this was a whole new level of awkwardness.

Looking up, she finally met Andrea's gaze. "Can I help you with something?"

Andrea pursed her lips and took a step closer to her. "I was wondering if we could talk for a minute."

"About what?" Brittany asked, focusing her eyes on her hands again.

"I think you know about what." Andrea said, her voice calm and gentle. "I know you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either if I was in your place." Brittany didn't say anything, refusing to make eye-contact, and Andrea sighed sadly. "For some reason Santana found it in her heart to give me another chance and it would mean the world to me if you did the same thing."

Brittany clenched her jaw. "And what makes you think you deserve that?"

Andrea's brow furrowed slightly. "Look Brittany, I'm trying my hardest here. Can't you just try to get to know me? I know that you're just looking out for Santana but you weren't there when everything happened so…"

"Don't you dare." Brittany interrupted her angrily, whipping around to face her. "Don't you dare say I don't know what I'm talking about when you weren't the one who held Santana as she cried over her parents and everyone else who abandoned her when she needed them the most. She's finally moving on and I refuse to let you barge back into her life just to shake everything up again."

Andrea looked pained. "Brittany…"

"Don't." Brittany slightly raised her voice, holding up a hand to emphasize her words. "I'm not going to tell you to stop spending time with Santana because I don't have the right to do that but if you ever hurt her again, I won't be held responsible for my own actions."

Andrea swallowed thickly. Before she had the chance to say anything, Santana entered the kitchen with a concerned expression on her face.

"Is everything okay in here?" She asked, her eyes flickering from Brittany to Andrea and back. When she caught sight of the glimmer of guilt in Brittany's eyes, she sighed and turned to Andrea. "Can you give us a minute?"

Andrea hesitated for a moment before she nodded and walked away.

Brittany took a deep breath and kept her eyes on her feet, not wanting to see the disappointed look on Santana's face. She was shocked by her own actions; she hadn't intended to be so harsh towards Andrea, but her emotions had gotten the best of her. She couldn't stand Santana being mad at her. It made her feel like an awful person.

It was silent as Santana studied Brittany's features carefully. She suddenly looked small, like a frightened puppy, and Santana almost gave in. Almost. Taking a step forward, she crossed her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes accusingly. "What the hell was that about?"

"I-I…" Brittany stuttered.

"You what?" Santana pressed, irritation seeping into her voice.

"I'm sorry." Brittany breathed out as her eyes slowly met brown ones. "I tried to be nice but when she asked me to give her a chance, I…" She sighed, struggling to find the right words. She didn't really know if she was actually _that_ wrong to be wary of Andrea, but she had told Santana to be nice so for that she felt bad. "I thought of you crying in my arms and… I just don't want to see you get hurt again."

Santana took another step closer to her, keeping her face blank. "How many times do I have to tell you that I can look after myself?" Brittany tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and guiltily looked down again. Santana heaved out a sigh. She wanted Brittany to give her some sort of response but she could tell that the blonde was retreating into herself like she always did when things got hard. "Brittany, look at me!"

At the angry tone of her voice, Brittany's eyes abruptly snapped up to hers. "What do you want me to say? I already told you I'm sorry."

"I don't understand why you're treating Andrea like this." Santana replied with a disappointed shake of her head, taking another step closer to Brittany. "You promised me that you would give her a chance so why are you doing the complete opposite?"

"I didn't promise anything." Brittany mumbled.

Santana pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration and took a deep, calming breath.

"That's not the point. Why are you making this so difficult?" When Brittany didn't reply, she huffed angrily and continued. "Has Andrea done anything to show that she can't be trusted?"

"No, but…"

"Then what is the problem?" Santana interrupted her, gazing deeply into her eyes. "You told me that you believe that everyone deserves a second chance so what's different with Andrea? You were nice to her all night so why did I walk in on you yelling at her just a few minutes ago?"

"Because I don't want to lose you!" Brittany snapped suddenly. Santana's eyes widened slightly at her girlfriend's unexpected outburst and for a moment she regretted cornering Brittany like this. She was glad to finally get a reaction though. "I know how painful it was for you when your family abandoned you as if you meant nothing to them. I also know that the only reason you got through it was because you're strong and brave and courageous, and you didn't want to prove them right. Being left behind is a feeling I know all too well and I'm not sure if anyone would be able to survive that kind of heartbreak twice."

"Britt…" Santana whispered, unsure of what to say. She could see the sincerity in Brittany's clear blue eyes and the way her shoulders deflated as if her words had taken all the strength out of her, and just like that all the anger and frustration left her body.

"No, you have every right to be upset with me." Brittany smiled sadly. "I should've trusted your judgment better. Andrea actually seems like a really nice girl." She puffed out her cheeks in thought. "I let my fears cloud my common sense and I'm sorry for that."

Santana's features softened. "I just want you and Andrea to get along. That's all."

"I know." Brittany said quietly, lowering her eyes to the floor. "It's never been my intention to hurt you; I've always wanted to _protect_ you from getting hurt. You have to believe that."

"Hey, of course I do." Santana said quickly, placing her hand on her girlfriend's arm. "I love that you care so much and I know that you mean well but you have to give me room to make my own decisions."

"I understand." Brittany mumbled in defeat. "I'm sorry for ruining the night."

"It's not too late." Santana said. "Andrea's still here. You can still talk to her."

Brittany nodded somewhat hesitantly. "Okay."

Santana smiled before leaning in to kiss her softly. Brittany returned the pressure but Santana could tell that her mind was still somewhere else.

"What's wrong?" Brittany's lips formed into a cute pout and Santana smiled softly. "Come on, no pouting. Everything will be fine."

Brittany didn't respond and wrapped her arms around Santana's slim waist, pulling her close and burying her face against her neck. "I love you."

"I love you too." Santana replied in an equally soft tone. They stood there like that for a little while longer before Santana pulled away. "Ready?"

Brittany nodded and took Santana's hand in her own, squeezing gently. Santana smiled and allowed Brittany to guide her out of the kitchen. They found Andrea awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room, looking ready to leave. Her eyes snapped up at the sound of approaching footsteps and she smiled weakly. "I think it's best if I go."

"You don't have to." Santana was quick to reassure her.

Andrea's features twisted into a sad expression. "I love spending time with you, Santana, but my presence is clearly causing trouble between you and Brittany and that's the last thing I want. Maybe it's best if…"

"No." Santana interrupted her, sensing where she was going with this.

Brittany felt her heart break at the pleading tone of Santana's voice and a wave of guilt washed over her. She gave the brunette's hand another squeeze before releasing it and stepping closer to Andrea. She took a deep breath in preparation before she began to speak.

"I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions before getting to know you. I can be a little overprotective sometimes. I know that you mean a lot to Santana so I don't want to stand in between you two."

Andrea flashed her a surprised smile. "I... I appreciate that. And I don't blame you to be honest."

"I'm not going to lie. I still have my doubts, but I'm willing to give you a chance."

Andrea's face lit up. "What caused the change of heart?"

"It wasn't a change of heart but more of a realization." Brittany said with a shrug. "I want Santana to be happy so I'm doing this for her." She was silent for a moment before adding, "My earlier words about what will happen if you hurt her still stand though."

"I get it." Andrea said quickly. "Thank you."

Brittany simply nodded.

"So, will you stay a little while longer?" Santana asked hopefully.

Andrea looked at Brittany who gave her an encouraging nod in return. She turned back to Santana and smiled widely. "Sure."

* * *

A few days later, Brittany walked into Joey's where she took a seat at the counter. She had just left rehearsals and Santana would come pick her up after she was done with a meeting at work. Marley looked up from the glass she was cleaning absent-mindedly and a smile formed on her face at the sight of Brittany sitting there. "Hey Britt!"

"Hi." Brittany replied with a grin. "How are you?"

"Not too bad." Marley said as she walked closer to the blonde. "What about you?"

Brittany nodded happily. "I'm fine. I'm sorry it's been a while since I last stopped by. All my time goes to the play."

"Don't worry about it." Marley reassured her. "It's really great to hear that you're doing something that makes you happy." She rested her forearms on the counter and leaned forward. "We miss you around here though. Joey recently hired a new girl."

"Yeah, Tina told me." Brittany tilted her head to the side. "Is she nice?"

"Not really. She's kind of a bitch." Marley paused before adding, "Who even names their kid Kitty?"

Brittany scoffed in amusement. "I've heard worse."

Marley chuckled and pushed herself up straight. "Can I get you anything to drink or eat?"

"No thanks. Santana is picking me up and we'll have dinner at home."

"I see." Marley said, her lips curling up into a knowing smile. "After all this time you still get the same dopey love sick look on your face at the mention of Santana." Her smile widened when her friend blushed and shyly looked away. "You two are so adorable. I can't help but be jealous of the kind of relationship you have."

Brittany shot her a sympathetic look. "Have things still not gotten better with Zach?"

"I don't think they ever will." Marley admitted quietly. She didn't even seem sad about the situation anymore. Instead, she seemed tired and defeated. "Deep down I know that our relationship has run its course and that it's best to end things between us but letting go is harder than it seems."

"I understand that." Brittany said. "But you deserve to be happy, Marley."

Marley let out a sigh but didn't respond. Her eyes traveled behind Brittany and they widened slightly in surprise. Brittany frowned worriedly and followed Marley's line of sight. Realization hit her when she saw Zach walking in, wearing his usual irritated expression. She knew that he hardly ever visited Marley at work which explained her surprise.

"Hey honey." Marley greeted him with a smile. Brittany could tell that it was forced. "What are you doing here?"

Zach huffed as he took a seat next to Brittany. "Since when am I not allowed to visit my girlfriend at work?"

"Of course you're allowed to." Marley told him with a frown. "It's just that you hardly ever do so."

"Well, you didn't really give me a choice." Zach snapped, earning a confused look from Marley. "You have to work a late shift and there's no food in the fridge at home so I had to come here if I wanted to eat."

Brittany watched the exchange with a clenched jaw. She couldn't believe that Zach treated Marley like this and that Marley let him.

To make matters worse, he continued. "Why didn't you go grocery shopping? Were you too fucking lazy again?"

"Why didn't you do it yourself?" Brittany asked him angrily before she could stop herself.

"Brittany, I hadn't seen you." Zach turned to her with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Of course you're here, just my luck." He clasped his hands together in front of him. "What brought on your visit? Are you trying to convince Marley of how horrible of a person I am again?"

"I think you're doing a fine job of that yourself." Brittany told him. She didn't get angry easily but she was losing her usual calm composure awfully quick.

"Whatever." Zach muttered as he looked at Marley again. "What are you waiting for? Hurry up and get me something to eat!"

"Don't talk to her like that!" Brittany exclaimed, abruptly getting to her feet. "She's your girlfriend for God's sake. Act like she matters. Just because you fail at life doesn't mean you have to take it out on Marley!"

"My relationship with Marley is none of your business." Zach said in a low voice.

"It is when all you ever do is hurt her." Brittany argued.

"Stop it." Zach slammed his hands down on the counter.

"Why? Is it too hard to finally hear the truth?" Brittany asked bitterly. "If only Marley would realize that she deserves so much better. You treat her like garbage."

She realized that she had pushed him too far when his eyes darkened and he violently shot up, towering over her. Before she could register what was happening, he suddenly grabbed her by the throat and roughly pushed her up against the nearest wall. "You think you know everything so well, don't you? My relationship with Marley is _none_ of your business! Do you hear me?"

Brittany squirmed and kicked her legs as she struggled to breathe. She could hear Zach yelling at her but his words didn't register. Marley rushed to them from behind the counter and tried to pull him away from Brittany with all the strength she could muster but to no avail. "Zach, let go! She can't breathe!"

Brittany's vision started to blur as her lungs screamed for air. She vaguely noticed that Joey had run up to them, having heard the commotion, and was also trying to pry Zach away from her. She weakly clawed at Zach's chest, desperately trying to get him to loosen his grip.

Suddenly, a scream pierced the air and the hand around Brittany's throat was gone. She dropped to the floor, gasping for air.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Santana yelled, shoving the guy in front of her who was clutching his groin where she had kicked him. To say that she had been shocked to walk in on some guy trying to choke Brittany would be an understatement. "Keep your filthy hands off my girlfriend, you son of a bitch! Do you have a death wish?"

His face had turn incredibly pale, as if he was only now realizing what he had done. He opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words came out. Santana gave him another violent shove before she turned around to where Brittany was still on the ground. Marley and Joey were hovering over her, both looking panicked. Santana's anger was replaced with concern and she quickly rushed to her girlfriend's side, kneeling down next to her.

"Britt?" She asked softly, brushing the hair away from Brittany's pale and clammy face. Brittany was clutching her chest and her eyes were squeezed shut as she tried to calm her racing heart. Her body felt weak and her breaths were coming out in short, ragged gasps. Santana cupped Brittany's cheek to get her attention. "Babe? Are you okay?"

"I'm so sorry, Santana!" Marley whimpered from behind them. "I don't know what happened! Zach has never done anything like this!"

Santana breathed out sharply when realization washed over her. It wasn't just some guy who had put his hands on her girlfriend, but it had been Marley's boyfriend. She didn't have time to react, though. Brittany was still struggling to get her breathing under control.

Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead. "What do you need, Britt? Your medicine?"

Brittany cracked her eyes open and nodded. Her breathing wasn't getting any better and her mind was becoming more frantic with each passing second.

Santana gently smoothed her hair back. "Are they in your bag?" She asked, trying to stay calm for Brittany's sake. Brittany blinked hard as she tried to concentrate on Santana's voice and nodded again. Santana turned to Marley who was watching them with alarm-stricken eyes. "Get her bag and a glass of water, now!"

Marley nodded quickly and scrambled to her feet to do as she was told, nearly bumping into Joey who had taken it upon himself to yell at Zach. She returned with the requested items less than a minute later and handed them to Santana. The brunette dug through Brittany's bag and quickly retrieved her girlfriend's medication.

"Easy, babe." She instructed as she helped Brittany sit up. She popped the pills into Brittany's mouth, pressing the glass of water to her lips and urging her to take a few sips. "Swallow carefully. There you go."

Brittany dropped her head onto Santana's shoulder, leaning against her heavily, as she could feel the racing of her heart slow down into a normal rhythm as the pills did their work. Her eyes closed on their own accord and she concentrated on the feeling of Santana's fingers brushing slowly through her hair.

The few people present in the diner had formed a small crowd around them and Santana shot them a hateful glance. "What are you all looking at? There's nothing to see here!"

A few murmurs started at that but everyone slowly went back to their table.

"I-I..." Zach stammered once Joey gave him the chance to say something. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt her. I don't know what overcame me. I just got so angry and everything turned black before my eyes." He put his hands on the back of his head in defeat, stumbling backwards. "God, I'm so sorry."

"Just stop talking." Santana growled, sending a glare in his direction.

"You better do as she says before I throw you out." Joey told him harshly. Zach continued to stumble backwards until he walked into a table, his eyes never leaving Brittany's shaken form. Joey turned to Santana and spoke in a gentle voice. "Is there anything I can do to help? Should we get her to the hospital?"

Santana glanced at Brittany who seemed a lot more calmed down. "I don't think that's necessary. I'm pretty sure I got him off her before he could do any damage." She paused to glare at Zach who was watching them with a bewildered expression on his face before asking, "Can someone please get me a wet cloth?"

"I'll get it." Marley said, eager to help, already rushing towards the kitchen.

"I'm so sorry." Zach spoke up pleadingly. "I never meant for this to happen. I swear I-…"

"Shut up!" Santana yelled, causing him to instantly grow silent.

"Should I call the police?" Joey asked, adjusting his bright green glasses.

Santana casted a glance at Zach whose eyes had widened to the size of saucers and she pursed her lips in thought. Finally, she slowly shook her head. "We'll let Britt decide that."

Marley returned with the wet cloth and Santana took it from her. She placed two fingers under Brittany's chin and gently tilted her head back, feeling her anger flare up again at the sight of the hand shaped bruise that was already beginning to form around her girlfriend's throat. Santana swallowed thickly and stroked her thumb over Brittany's cheek. "This will help soothe it."

Brittany nodded and Santana carefully pressed the cloth against her throat. The blonde was still shaken up over Zach's actions but she gave Santana a small smile nonetheless. She hadn't meant for any of this to happen but she had been so shocked by the way Zach treated Marley that she had to say something since Marley clearly never stood up for herself.

Santana returned the smile before pressing a sweet kiss to her cheek. They sat there for a while until Brittany felt well enough to stand up. Santana wrapped her arm around her waist to support her and guided her over to a chair where she sat her down.

"I'm sorry." Zach whimpered once more.

Santana's hands were twitching at her sides. It was taking everything for her not to walk up to him and punch him in the face. Brittany must've sensed her thoughts because she reached out and took Santana's hand in her own. Santana instantly calmed down a bit and brought Brittany's hand up to her lips, gently kissing her palm.

Marley walked up to them with a pained expression on her face and placed her hand on Brittany's arm. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Keep your boyfriend under control next time." Santana snapped.

"It's not her fault." Brittany whispered.

"Do you want me to call the police, Brittany?" Joey asked.

Brittany's eyes flickered to Zach who appeared to be close to tears. She sighed and looked at Joey who was staring at her, phone already in hand. "No."

"What he did was assault!" Santana protested. "You can't let him get away with it."

"I'm not. I just don't think he belongs in a jail cell." Brittany said softly, squeezing Santana's hand. Santana shook her head at her girlfriend's good-hearted nature but didn't say anything. "I won't press charges but only if Marley leaves Zach, tonight." She slowly turned her head to meet Marley's eyes. "You can't stay with him, especially not after this. You told me that he's not physically violent. Well, that clearly isn't true. And all I did was tell him off because he treats you like shit. It's only a matter of time before he hurts you too. Please don't go home with him."

Zach frantically shook his head. "I would never. I pr-"

"Shut up." Santana growled, once again cutting him off.

Brittany looked at Marley with pleading eyes. "Please Marley."

Marley looked conflicted. She bit her lip and glanced at Zach and then back at Brittany again. Tears welled up in her eyes before she finally agreed. "Okay." Brittany and Santana both released a sigh of relief. Marley sniffled and dropped down into the chair next to Brittany. "Where will I stay? I don't… I can't…"

"Hey, it's okay." Santana reassured her. "You can stay with us tonight. We'll figure everything out tomorrow."

Marley nodded absent-mindedly. "Okay."

"I swear I will make this right." Zach rushed out as he stepped forward, tears now streaming down his face. "You know I'm not a violent person! I'm so sorry about what happened. You know I'd never, ever put my hands on you."

"Goddammit, Zach!" Marley yelled, startling Zach. "You hurt my friend and for that I'll never forgive you." She shook her head and released a sob. "Please just leave, okay? I can't stand to see your face right now."

"Baby please…"

"You need help." Marley told him shakily. "Do yourself a favor and get it."

Zach let his arms fall down his sides in defeat. He looked broken and Santana would've felt sorry for him if it hadn't been for the pain he had caused her girlfriend and Marley. Joey approached Zach and grabbed his arm, pushing him towards the door. "You heard her."

Santana watched as Zach willingly let Joey escort him out the door. She let out a heavy breath and turned to face Brittany. She placed her hands on the blonde's shoulders and stared her deeply in the eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Brittany nodded and Santana offered her a small smile, leaning in to kiss her gently on the forehead. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Brittany whispered.

The moment was interrupted by the sound of Marley's sniffles. Santana looked at her in sympathy and reached out to give her shoulder a soft squeeze. "We'll figure something out. I promise."

Marley flashed her a small, watery smile. "Thank you."


	25. Chapter 25

_Well I forgot how much drama this story has._

 **Chapter 25.**

"Can I get you anything else?" Santana asked softly as she poked her head around the door of the guest room. After everything had quieted down at the diner, Joey had allowed Marley to go home early with Santana and Brittany. She was still a bit shaken up about everything that happened so all she really wanted to do was to curl up in bed and sleep. "Marley?"

Marley looked up from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing the clothes she had borrowed from Brittany, and gave Santana a small smile. "No thanks."

"Will you be alright?" Santana asked, opening the door a little wider. Marley nodded and Santana sighed sadly. "Are you sure?" Marley simply nodded again so Santana decided to let her be. "Okay, good night."

She was just about to close the door when Marley's voice stopped her. "Santana?"

"What is it?" Santana asked gently.

Marley pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down at her lap. "Can you and Brittany help me get my stuff from the apartment tomorrow?"

Santana smiled softly, feeling a wave of relief wash over her body. She was happy that Marley was finally taking the necessary steps to end things with Zach. Even though she hated that Brittany had gotten hurt, she was glad that the day's events seemed to have worked as an eye-opener for Marley. "Of course we'll help you. "

Marley nodded gratefully. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it." Santana reassured her. "We'll talk more about this in the morning, okay?"

Marley nodded again and Santana flashed her a warm smile before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind her. She released a heavy sigh, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with guilt. She wished that she had taken the situation with Zach more seriously. Brittany had talked to her about it multiple times but she had always brushed it off and look where they were now. She reached up to wipe away the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes as she tried to compose herself.

"Babe?" She called out as she entered the bedroom. When there was no sign of her girlfriend, she made her way into the bathroom where she found Brittany standing in front of the mirror, carefully examining the bruise around her throat. A sad feeling squeezed Santana's heart and she watched Brittany for a moment before announcing her presence. "Here you are."

Brittany looked up and smiled at her. "Hey."

"Try not to talk too much, at least not for tonight." Santana said as walked further into the room. She placed her hands on Brittany's hips and turned her around, tilting her head to see the damage that Zach had caused. She let out a shaky breath and lightly brushed her fingertips over the bruise. "Does it hurt?"

"It looks worse than it is." Brittany told her softly, slowly running her hand up and down Santana's arm. "How is Marley holding up?"

"She seems to be doing okay, given the circumstances." Santana responded with a sigh.

She stared into the blue depths of Brittany's eyes for a moment before she leaned up to kiss her, bringing her hand to the back of her neck to pull her closer. As their lips moved together gently, Brittany slid her hands up and down Santana's sides slowly, savoring the feeling of each curve. Santana smiled into the kiss and reached up to stroke her fingers across Brittany's cheek, lightly tickling the skin.

Brittany giggled at this so Santana broke the kiss and rested their foreheads together. "I love you so much it hurts sometimes."

"I know, baby, I know." Brittany murmured, nuzzling her nose into Santana's hair before pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I love you too."

There were so many things Santana wanted to say but she had no idea where to being.

Settling for the safe option, she asked, "Are you tired?"

Brittany nodded and Santana smiled as she played with the baby hairs at the nape of her girlfriend's neck, eliciting a shiver from her. Santana slightly pushed herself up on her toes to press another chaste kiss to soft, pink lips. "Let's go to bed then."

Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her into the bedroom. They crawled under the covers and Brittany waited until Santana had gotten into a comfortable position before spooning up behind the smaller girl, wrapping her arms around her waist. Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's shoulder and inhaled her scent, sighing happily. She was just starting to think that Santana had fallen asleep when she noticed the slight shake of her shoulders.

"Baby?" She whispered worriedly, tightening her arms around Santana's waist. Santana didn't reply so Brittany slightly pushed herself up to see the brunette's face more clearly. Her heart dropped to her stomach when she saw that Santana was indeed crying. "Hey… what's wrong?"

Santana shook her head and threw her arms over her face, embarrassed. She hadn't meant to break down like this but she couldn't seem to stop herself. The flood gates had been opened. She couldn't keep her emotions in check any longer. Brittany gently pried her arms away and peppered kisses all over her face, concern evident in her eyes. Santana sniffled miserably. "I-I'm sorry."

"For what?" Brittany asked with a frown.

"I should've taken your concerns about Zach more seriously." Santana said shakily, wiping furiously at her eyes. "I should've done more to protect you. I-I..."

"Hey, hey.." Brittany cooed, pulling Santana closer. She pressed a kiss to the back of her neck before moving her lips to her ear, speaking softly. "There's no way you could've known, Santana. I wasn't expecting this to happen either. Marley told me that Zach wasn't the violent type so this came as a complete surprise to everyone." She paused, listening to Santana's breathing for a moment to make sure that she was paying attention. "Please don't beat yourself up over this. What happened tonight isn't anyone's fault but Zach's. Okay? Honestly I'm glad it was me instead of Marley."

"Britt, don't say that."

"It's true." Brittany shrugged. "I know it sucked but Marley has allowed him to treat her badly for so long that her self-respect has pretty much vanished. I think seeing him hurt someone she cares about is what she needed, as bad as it sounds."

Santana took a moment to process Brittany's words before she nodded slowly. She turned around in Brittany's arms and tucked her head under the blonde's chin, burying her face against her chest.

"I-I was so scared, Britt." She whispered shakily, wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist to pull her impossibly close. "Seeing you like that… I thought I was going to lose you. Please don't ever leave me, Britt. Please... I don't know what I would do."

"Shh, it's okay." Brittany whispered, stroking her fingers through her girlfriend's dark locks. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere." She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose to try to calm herself. She hated seeing Santana cry. It made her heart ache in the most torturous way. "I'm sorry for scaring you, sweetie." She continued softly, pressing her lips to the top of Santana's head. "I promise I'm okay."

In response, Santana burrowed her face further into the crook of Brittany's neck, hand clenching the front of her t-shirt as if her life depended on it. She listened to the steady beating of Brittany's heart, inhaling her scent to reassure herself that she was alive and well. Brittany didn't speak. She simply continued her caresses, gently rubbing Santana's back.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed when Santana spoke again.

"Marley asked me if we can help her get her stuff tomorrow." She said, shifting slightly in Brittany's arms to get more comfortable. "Maybe we should ask Noah to come with. You know, just in case."

Brittany nodded in agreement. She chewed on her bottom lip as a thought suddenly hit her. "I'm just starting to doubt myself now. Do you think I did the right thing?"

"What do you mean?" Santana asked in confusion.

"With Marley." Brittany explained with a sigh. "I basically blackmailed her into breaking up with Zach. Shouldn't it have been her own decision to leave him? Would she have left him if I hadn't threatened to send him to jail?" She paused and shook her head at herself, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid. "It feels like she only left him because I told her to, not because she finally realizes that she deserves better."

"Brittany," Santana began, pulling back to meet Brittany's eyes. "I understand why you feel that way but I honestly believe that you were right before and that tonight was an eye-opener for her." Brittany seemed unsure and Santana cupped her cheek gently. "She is obviously shocked and angry about what happened. We can't know for sure if she would've left him if you hadn't given her an ultimatum but I think the fact that she wants to go pick up her stuff already says a lot."

Brittany's eyes flickered down sadly. "What if this is just temporary and she goes back to him?"

"We'll talk to her tomorrow, okay?" Santana suggested as she stroked her thumb over the other girl's cheek, urging her to look up. Brittany hesitantly did so and Santana flashed her a warm smile. "We have to make her see that men like Zach typically don't just make a mistake like this once. He's likely to be violent again and she has to protect herself from that." Brittany nodded slowly and Santana pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of her mouth. "It'll be okay."

"I hope so." Brittany said quietly.

Santana stroked Brittany's cheek for a while before asking, "How's the pain in your throat?"

"Not too bad." Brittany informed her with a shrug. "I'm worried about how it'll look in the morning though. I can't show up at work with a giant bruise around my neck."

"Luckily, there's this thing called make-up." Santana said with a grin, causing Brittany to smile sheepishly. She nudged Brittany's nose with her own before placing a kiss on her lips, humming softly at the contact. "Don't worry, babe. I'll help you with it."

Brittany let out a content sigh as Santana turned around in her arms again. She settled behind the smaller girl comfortably and wrapped her arms around her waist. She slipped her hand underneath Santana's t-shirt and started to rub slow circles on the brunette's abdomen, lightly tracing the outline of the scar from her appendix surgery. Her eyes closed on their own accord and it wasn't long before the sound of Santana's steady breathing lulled her to sleep.

* * *

The following morning, Brittany and Santana were sitting at the counter in the kitchen when Marley walked into the room. She looked tired. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was a mess. It looked like she hadn't slept at all. Brittany wasn't really surprised. She couldn't even imagine what her friend was going through right now.

"Good morning." Santana said from besides her, sending a sweet smile in Marley's direction. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay, I guess." Marley shrugged as she awkwardly stood in the middle of the room.

"Do you want some coffee?" Santana came to her rescue. Marley nodded gratefully so Santana stood up and walked around the counter. She sighed sadly when Marley was still frozen in her spot. She couldn't help but feel sorry for the girl. Everything was probably a little overwhelming for her right now. "Why don't you take a seat? Can I get you anything to eat?"

"No thanks." Marley said softly as she sat down next to Brittany. Her eyes widened when they landed on the bruise around Brittany's neck and tears immediately formed. She swallowed the lump in her throat before speaking softly. "I'm so sorry, Brittany."

"You don't have anything to be sorry for." Brittany replied, placing her hand on Marley's arm. "What happened last night wasn't your fault, Marley. Please don't feel guilty for something Zach did."

"How can you say that?" Marley sniffled, breaking their eye-contact. "I should've left him sooner. I should've seen this coming."

"That's easy to say looking back. What matters is that you're here right now and not with him." The blonde released a deep breath and removed her hand from Marley's arm, wrapping it around her mug of coffee instead. "Can I ask you something?"

Marley nodded and wiped at her eyes. "Of course."

"Would you have left him if I hadn't made you?" Brittany asked quietly, lifting her mug to her lips to blow on the hot liquid. "Why did it take this for you to realize that you can't stay with Zach any longer?"

"I would like to know that too." Santana commented as she handed Marley her coffee.

"Thanks." Marley gave her a small smile. A few moments of silence passed before she spoke again, her voice timid and hesitant. "I'm not sure to be honest. I guess I was scared. We built a life together. We live together, we have the same friends… we literally share everything. I knew that everything would change if I left." She paused and shrugged sadly. "It's so hard to let go of something that's been a part of you for so long."

"Just… just don't go back to him." Brittany spoke firmly, hoping she could break through Marley's mindset that Zach could change. "He's always going to treat you this way because that's the kind of guy he is. You're one of my best friends, Marley. I can't sit around and watch him hurt you like this anymore so please," She turned her head to look at Marley with pleading eyes. "Promise me that you won't go back to him."

Marley let out a shaky breath and gave her a small, barely visible nod in response. "I promise. I'm really sorry." She choked out.

Brittany gently rubbed her back. "Everything's going to be okay."

Santana watched them silently, feeling tears prick at her own eyes. She startled slightly at the sound of knocking and quietly made her way out of the room. When she opened the door, she found Noah standing there with a concerned expression on his face. Santana had called him this morning to ask him if he could help them with Marley's stuff and she had also given him a brief update on what had happened with Zach. To say that he had been angry would be an understatement.

"Hey." Noah mumbled a greeting as he gave her a quick hug. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Santana told him as they parted. "Thanks for coming."

"Of course." Noah smiled sadly. "Tina insisted on coming too but she couldn't get out of work so she sends her love." Santana simply nodded to show her understanding as Noah stepped further inside, shrugging out of his jacket. "How's Brittany?"

"She's okay."

"And Marley?"

Santana shrugged. "She's still processing everything."

"God, I can't believe that bastard put his hands on Britt." Noah said in a low voice, anger glistening in his eyes. "He's lucky that I don't know where he lives or I would've gone down to his place to beat the crap out of him."

"Unfortunately, that would only make things worse." Santana said with a sigh. "I doubt Zach will be home today but if he is, please don't do anything stupid."

"I won't." Noah grumbled.

He followed Santana into the kitchen where Brittany and Marley were now sipping their coffee in a comfortable silence, both seemingly lost in their own world. Santana cleared her throat and Brittany looked up, sending her a small smile. Noah narrowed his eyes at the bruise around Brittany's neck and his anger flared up again. "Jesus Christ, Brittany."

Brittany lifted her hand to lightly brush her fingers over the bruise. "It's nothing that a little makeup can't fix."

"He better not be there when we get over to his apartment or I swear to God..." He trailed off. The expression on his face made his words clear enough. Noah walked over to Brittany, tilting his head down to get a better look at the damage. "I know he's an asshole but I can't believe things got this far."

Marley shrunk further into her seat. "I'm sorry."

Noah looked at her in surprise and his features softened slightly. "I hope this was an eye-opener for you and you'll stay away from that guy from now on. He'll hurt you next."

"I will." Marley mumbled.

"Have you heard from him since last night?" Santana asked, leaning against the counter.

Marley nodded slowly. "He called me a few times but I didn't pick up."

"Will he be home today?"

Marley shook her head. "He works until 5."

"That's good." Santana breathed out. "Did you tell him that you're moving out?"

"I haven't yet." Marley said as she nervously fiddled with her fingers. "I'll tell him after we got my stuff." She looked at Noah and added, "Thanks for agreeing to help."

"No problem." Noah replied, walking around the counter to get himself a glass of water. "Have you figured out where you're going to stay yet?"

"I'm going to stay with my aunt for a while." Marley informed him. "She lives just outside the city but that shouldn't be a problem. I'll use the money from my savings account to buy a secondhand car or something."

"Do you want us to drop you off at her place right after we get your stuff?" Santana asked. "You're welcome to stay here a little longer."

Marley smiled. "Thanks but I already told my aunt that I'll be there today."

They continued to talk about things until Noah announced that it was best to go now since he and Brittany both had to work later during the day. They decided to take two cars so that they could bring as much stuff as possible. When they arrived at the apartment, they followed Marley as she led them inside. Brittany could tell that her friend was nervous, which wasn't very surprising.

"How are we going to do this?" Santana asked when they were standing in the hallway.

"Maybe you and Brittany can pack my clothes while I sort out my stuff in the living room?" Marley suggested, looking a little lost herself. "Noah can help me."

"Sounds good to me." Santana said as she took one of the bags they had brought.

"Marley?"

Santana froze at the sound of an all too familiar voice. She watched the blood drain from Marley's face and she instinctively reached out for Brittany's hand, holding it tightly in her own. A few seconds later, Zach appeared in the doorway and Marley answered him shakily. "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"

"I needed some time to think so I took the day off." Zach told her easily. He looked tired and Santana figured he probably hadn't had much sleep. She didn't feel sorry for him in the slightest. His eyes landed on the bags they had brought and realization washed over his features. "You're leaving me?"

"What were you expecting, asshole?" Noah growled.

Zach lowered his eyes in shame and nervously kicked his foot against the floor. "I'm genuinely sorry about what happened last night."

"That doesn't change anything." Noah told him harshly. Brittany placed her hand on his shoulder to calm him down. She could tell that it was taking him everything not to attack Zach. Noah took a deep breath before continuing. "We're here to pick up Marley's stuff. You better not be in the way."

Zach nodded in defeat before his eyes settled on Marley. "So it's really over between us?"

"You crossed a line last night, Zach. I can't stay with you." Marley told him tiredly. "You need help."

"I know." Zach said quickly, taking a step in her direction. "I'm getting help, I swear. I'm going to get anger management therapy. I'm going to make this right, Marley."

Marley offered him a small, sad smile. "That's good."

"You better stay away from her or you'll regret it." Noah said, stepping in front of Marley. He pointed a finger at the smaller guy accusingly and narrowed his eyes. "You're lucky that Brittany didn't press charges because I would've loved to see you get thrown into a jail cell. Who do you think you are? Putting your hands on a woman the way you did." He huffed angrily. "Congratulations. You showed everyone how much of a coward you are."

"I'm not proud of what I did, okay?" Zach replied, his eyes flickering from Noah to Marley and back. "I feel horrible and I can't apologize enough. I'll make sure it won't happen again by getting the help I need."

"Take your apology and shove it up your ass, would you?" Santana asked him sarcastically, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "I'll never forgive you for hurting Brittany or Marley so don't waste your breath. Now get out of my way please, afores I ends you."

Zach sighed but did as he was told.

Santana gave Brittany's hand a small tug and led her to where she assumed was the bedroom. It was a small apartment so it wasn't that hard to find. They quickly got to work, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. It took them awhile to pack all of Marley's stuff and luckily, Zach stayed out of their way. He even offered to help carry the heavier things to the car. It seemed that he was genuinely sorry about his actions but Santana couldn't bring herself to feel any sympathy for him.

"Where will you be staying?" Zach asked once they were done.

Marley opened her mouth to reply but Noah beat her to it. "Maybe it's best if you don't know that."

Zach's brow furrowed in protest. "It's not as if I plan on stalking her or anything."

"Just focus on getting help." Noah said, irritation evident in his voice. "We don't want you hanging around Marley and possibly hurting her too."

"I would never d-…"

"Save it." Santana interrupted him. "Let's get out of here."

The rest nodded in agreement and Santana and Brittany climbed into their car as Marley joined Noah in his car. Santana glanced in the rearview mirror to see Zach standing there with a sad expression on his face. She sighed and turned in her seat to face Brittany who had been awfully quiet during the whole ordeal. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Brittany told her with a small smile. "This situation with Zach is just confusing. It's kind of scary how you think you know someone but really you don't." She took Santana's hand in her own and brought it to her lips, gently kissing her palm. "I want you to know that I would never, ever hurt you like that. We may have our fights but I would never hit you or anything of that sort."

"I know, honey." Santana said softly. She leaned forward and brought their lips together in a sweet kiss. Pulling back, she gently brushed the hair away from Brittany's face. "And the same goes for me."

Brittany smiled shyly and cupped Santana's cheek, pulling her into another kiss. They were forced to part eventually when they heard the sound of Noah's engine starting. Santana realized that she didn't know the way to Marley's aunt so she quickly started her car too and followed after Noah.

* * *

"How is she?" Santana asked as Brittany put her phone away.

After they had made sure that Marley was settled in comfortably at her aunt's place, Santana had dropped Brittany off at work before she went home. Brittany had arrived home not too long ago and had immediately called Marley to ask if she was doing okay, despite how late it was. She wanted to be there for her friend as well as she could be.

"She's okay." She informed Santana with a sigh.

Santana walked over to where Brittany was sitting on the edge of the bed and straddled her hips. The blonde smiled softly and wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist, leaning forward to rest her head against her chest. Santana cradled her head and tenderly kissed her hair. "How did the play go? Did your makeup stay on?"

Brittany hummed. "They used this spray thingy that makes foundation stay on longer."

Santana smiled knowingly and slowly ran her fingers through Brittany's soft hair. Brittany never cared much for makeup; she never wore a lot of it. She didn't need it in Santana's opinion anyway as she was naturally beautiful. Santana slid her hand down Brittany's neck and slowly massaged the skin there. "Did they ask you any questions?"

"I explained what happened but I didn't go into detail." Brittany replied. She pulled back slightly and reached up to cup Santana's cheek, pulling her down for a kiss. She slowly trailed her tongue over Santana's bottom lip and Santana opened her mouth, eagerly granting her access. She tangled her fingers into Brittany's hair and pulled her closer, their lips moving together heatedly. Brittany let out a soft noise of approval and momentarily broke the kiss to speak. "I've been wanting to do that all day."

"Then don't stop." Santana told her breathlessly before leaning in to capture her lips in another deep kiss. She would never grow tired of kissing Brittany. Her lips were soft yet firm, and the way they molded to hers sent tingles down her spine. She slipped her hand underneath Brittany's t-shirt and rubbed slow circles over her lower back, smiling when Brittany didn't tense up at all. Their tongues brushed together while their breath mingled, and Santana felt and heard her heartbeat increase its pace. She pulled her lips away from Brittany's eventually but only because she wanted to taste more of her skin and inhale the scent that was so uniquely hers.

"San…" Brittany murmured as Santana's lips moved down her neck, brushing against her skin and nipping at her pulse point, careful to avoid the bruise. She let her hands roam all over Santana's back and moaned softly, craning her neck to give the brunette more access. Santana caressed her skin with such gentleness that she felt her heart swell with love all over again. Despite her insecurities, she felt safe with Santana. The way she looked at her, like she was the reason of her entire existence, made her feel brave.

Slender fingers curled around the hem of her shirt and she didn't hesitate to nod, allowing Santana to pull the item of clothing up and over her head. Her eyes met questioning brown ones and she pressed a kiss to full lips in assurance. "I'm okay."

Santana smiled and pushed Brittany down onto the bed, settling on top of her. She tucked a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear before leaning down to connect their lips once more. Brittany placed her hands on Santana's ass and pulled the smaller woman against her firmly, moaning as Santana sucked on her tongue. Santana stroked her fingers over Brittany's stomach, teasingly tracing the outline of her belly button. Her touch was slow and soothing, unlike the heated movements of her lips against Brittany's. Hooded blue eyes, dark with arousal, stared back at her and that was all the confirmation she needed. She nudged Brittany's nose with her own and pressed a sweet kiss to her lips as she unfastened her girlfriend's bra.

"You're so beautiful." Santana whispered, biting her lip when Brittany's small breasts were revealed, nipples already hard and begging to be tasted. Brittany blushed furiously and shyly averted her gaze. Santana placed two fingers under Brittany's chin and tilted her face up, staring deeply into her eyes before placing another sweet kiss on her lips. "Don't doubt yourself."

Brittany's breath hitched when Santana lowered her mouth to her breast, swirling her tongue around her nipple. She closed her eyes and rested her hand on Santana's head as the brunette massaged her nipple, sucking and flicking her tongue over it. Santana teased the hardened nub between her lips before releasing it with a pop and moving over to her other breast to give it the same treatment. Brittany was a squirming mess underneath her, attempting to catch her breath, but the feverish kisses that Santana was placing all over her chest weren't helping. She bucked her hips up and used the momentum of it to flip the smaller woman over.

Santana let out a high-pitched noise of surprise as she landed on her back but it was muffled by Brittany's lips pressing against hers. Brittany gently nibbled on her lower lip before pulling away to start a slow trail of kisses down her jawline. She impatiently tugged at the hem of Santana's t-shirt and Santana slightly sat up to take it off, blindly throwing it across the room. A whimper escaped her lips when Brittany cupped her breasts over her bra. "Please…"

Brittany cupped her cheek and slowly ran her thumb over the soft skin before giving her a light kiss on the lips. She unclasped Santana's bra and replaced the material with her hands, massaging the soft flesh firmly. Santana shuddered when Brittany brushed her thumbs over her nipples and allowed the blonde to push her back onto the mattress. Brittany kissed Santana again, dragging her tongue across the roof of her girlfriend's mouth, exploring the familiar texture. She slowly moved her hands over Santana's abs, loving the way her muscles flexed beneath her touch.

"Babe, take them off." Santana mumbled against Brittany's mouth, her fingers tugging on the hem of Brittany's jeans. Brittany pulled away, sitting back on her heels. She took a deep breath in preparation and slowly started to unbutton her jeans, Santana watching in anticipation. Once they were off, Santana reached out to gently stroke her fingers over Brittany's cheek. "Still okay?"

Brittany nodded and settled on top of her again, running her hands up and down her sides and lightly tickling her ribcage. Santana was breathing heavily and she couldn't stop her hips from bucking up, searching for the friction she needed to dull the throbbing between her legs. Brittany pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, earning herself a smile of adoration, before she helped Santana out of jeans as well, dragging them down her legs.

"I want you so bad." She husked into Santana's ear before placing a kiss on the sensitive skin below it. She shoved her thigh between Santana's legs, pressing against her center hard enough to make Santana whimper in desperation.

She pulled Santana's earlobe between her teeth, biting down and eliciting another whimper from her girlfriend. Her hand slowly traveled down and slipped into the brunette's panties, stroking her heated flesh gently. Santana was so wet, and nothing had ever felt as good as she did in that moment. Brittany pushed two fingers into her tightness and swallowed her moans and whimpers with a heated kiss.

"Britt." Santana panted against Brittany's swollen lips. "Baby please…"

"What is it?" Brittany asked softly, the pace of her thrusts never faltering.

"I-I need you." Santana whispered, squeezing her eyes shut as the pleasure built inside of her. Her thighs were trembling as Brittany hit all her right spots and she knew she wouldn't last much longer. She wrapped her fingers around Brittany's wrist to stop her movements and Brittany's eyes widened in concern. Santana cupped her chin and kissed her softly in reassurance. "I need you closer."

Brittany nodded in understanding and sat up to remove her underwear. She assisted Santana out of hers as well, leaving them both completely naked. Santana opened her legs wider to give Brittany more access and Brittany slowly lowered herself in between them. They both gasped when their sensitive centers met and Santana wrapped her legs around Brittany's waist, burying her face in the curve of Brittany's neck as Brittany began to grind back and forth.

"Fuck." Brittany groaned as their clits bumped together, pressing her head against Santana's shoulder and lightly biting down. Santana pushed her hips up with each thrust, pressing her hand against the small of Brittany's back to pull her closer. Brittany turned her head to suck on Santana's neck, leaving a small love bite, and Santana dug her fingers into the skin of Brittany's shoulders, letting out a moan. They fell into a rhythm together, their slickness sliding together easily, driving each other higher and higher.

Brittany pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Santana's jaw and spoke in a ragged voice. "Are you close?"

Santana nodded frantically, tightening her legs around Brittany's waist. Brittany started to rotate her hips in small circles, grinding their clits together and creating the most perfect friction. Santana's movements became more and more erratic as she chased her release, her hips bucking up almost clumsily. Her hands moved down Brittany's thighs, guiding her thrusts, as their lips met in a sloppy kiss. As she spiraled towards her orgasm, Brittany invaded all her senses; her touches and the sound of her soft whimpers driving her crazy.

It only took a few more thrust for her to fall apart and she pulled her lips away from Brittany's to release a deep moan, her eyes fluttering shut as her whole face contorted in pleasure. Watching Santana come undone did the trick for Brittany as well and her back arched as her orgasm washed over her, their juices mixing together as she continued to thrust slowly. Finally, she collapsed against Santana, body trembling with aftershocks.

They lay there in silence for a while, their chests heaving in unison and their legs tangled together. Brittany tilted her head up to press a kiss to the underside of Santana's jaw. "That was amazing."

"Hmm." Santana hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to the blonde's forehead. Her fingers lazily traced patterns on Brittany's back, tracing the lines of her scars with a gentleness that made Brittany want to cry. Santana released a content sigh. "Our one year anniversary is coming up."

Brittany smiled at the reminder and nuzzled her nose against Santana's collarbone. "I know."

"Let me plan something."

"What do you have in mind?" Brittany asked curiously, her eyes fluttering shut as her exhaustion caught up with her.

Santana kissed the top of Brittany's head and wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist, pulling her closer. "It's a surprise."

"I can't wait." Brittany mumbled, already half asleep.

Santana smiled and carefully reached around Brittany to pull up the covers. She made sure that her girlfriend was tucked in comfortably before closing her own eyes. It wasn't long before they were both fast asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26.**

Santana woke up with Brittany's warm body still curled up around her from behind. The brunette smiled and placed her hand on Brittany's arm that was draped over her waist, gently rubbing the skin. Brittany let out a small, content sigh at the contact and pulled her even closer, burying her face in Santana's dark locks. Santana's smile widened. She loved seeing Brittany like this, adorable and sleepy, her mind free from any worries.

She would've been content to stay in this position for hours longer but her bladder seemed to have other plans. She carefully untangled herself from Brittany's arms and slipped out of bed. Brittany let out a grumble of protest and her hands unconsciously patted the empty space beside her, looking for her girlfriend. Santana watched her in adoration before leaning down to press a soothing kiss to her cheek. Brittany's furrowed brow evened out as she drifted off into a more peaceful sleep.

When Santana returned from her bathroom visit, she quietly climbed into bed again, this time lying face-to-face with Brittany. She lifted her hand to gently brush the hair out of Brittany's face before placing a light kiss on the blonde's lips. Brittany stirred and a moment later, tired blue eyes slowly fluttered open.

"Good morning." Santana whispered, smiling as Brittany struggled to keep her eyes open. She gently stroked her thumb down Brittany's jaw and over the corner of her mouth. Brittany's eyes squeezed tighter before they opened again and Santana leaned in to delicately kiss the tip of her nose. "Happy anniversary."

Brittany's eyes lit up and her lips curled up into a lazy smile. "Happy anniversary."

Santana felt butterflies in her stomach at the loving sound of Brittany's voice. They stared into each other's eyes for a while, bright blue into warm brown, as if they were having a silent conversation. Brittany started to lean in closer and their lips lightly brushed together until Santana applied more pressure, capturing Brittany's bottom lip between her own and sucking gently.

They pulled back and Santana slowly ran the back of her hand over Brittany's slightly flushed cheek, smiling softly. "I can't believe we've been together for a year."

"I know." Brittany whispered, giving her another sweet peck on the lips. "It feels like I've known you forever."

Before Santana had the chance to respond, Brittany wrapped her arms around her waist and rolled them over, effectively pulling Santana on top of her. A squeal escaped Santana's lips before she could stop it and she rested her head on Brittany's shoulder, their legs tangling together. Brittany brushed Santana's hair aside and tenderly kissed her cheek. Santana smiled a bit. "Britt, what are you doing?"

"I just felt like holding you for a while." Brittany told her innocently. "Is that okay?"

Santana felt her heart expand in her chest. She sighed happily and nuzzled her nose against the side of Brittany's neck, inhaling her scent. Brittany slipped her hand underneath the brunette's t-shirt and gently stroked her back, rubbing small circles into the warm skin. They didn't say anything for a long time, both simply enjoying being with each other.

Brittany's heart was fluttering rapidly within her chest, bursting with the amount of love she felt for the woman in her arms. It was a love so strong, so pure, that it was almost scary. She had been so lonely after her accident and then when she had least expected it, Santana had come along and filled up the hole in her heart that had ached for such a terrible long time. Santana's body molded around hers so naturally, as if they were made to fit, and Brittany never wanted to let her go.

"Baby?" Santana called out softly, kissing the underside of Brittany's jaw. Brittany blinked slowly and made a noise of acknowledgement. Santana pulled back slightly to meet ocean blue eyes that were clouded over with emotion and she frowned. "What were you thinking about?"

Brittany's hand came to a rest on the small of Santana's back as she blushed and shyly stared back at her. "About you." She admitted quietly. Santana grinned, causing her dimples to show, and Brittany averted her gaze. Santana's hands traveled down her sides and an involuntary giggle left Brittany's lips when the brunette began to tickle her. "San!"

"You're such a dork." Santana teased, watching in amusement as Brittany squirmed beneath her, trying to move away from her hands. It wasn't until Brittany's face started to color a deep shade of red that Santana decided to take pity on her girlfriend and ceased her tickle attack. She gave Brittany a moment to catch her breath before pressing a light kiss to her lips. "A ridiculously cute dork."

Brittany smiled and her eyes held so much love that it was Santana's turn to blush.

"What are we doing today?"

"It's a surprise." Santana told her with a smirk, her fingers lightly tracing the outline of Brittany's features. Brittany's brow furrowed as she prepared herself to protest but Santana stopped her with a firm kiss to the lips. "Don't even bother. I'm not telling you anything."

"But babe…" Brittany whined pathetically. "The suspense is already killing me!"

Santana chuckled. "Dramatic much?"

Brittany's lips formed into a pout. "Fine. I have a surprise for you too anyway."

"You do?" Santana asked curiously, her attention perking up. Brittany nodded and Santana narrowed her eyes in thought. "What kind of surprise?"

"I'm not telling you anything." Brittany recited Santana's earlier words. Her smile faltered slightly as a flash of doubt suddenly crossed her face and she glanced away, suddenly looking a little scared and nervous. Santana's face twisted in concern at the unexpected change in mood and she gently cupped Brittany's cheek, encouraging her to continue. Brittany licked her lips before adding, "I-I hope you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will." Santana tried to reassure her, even though she couldn't possibly know.

Brittany bit her lip and nodded slowly. "How late are we leaving?"

"Not until around dinner time." Santana replied as she rested her chin on Brittany's chest, looking up at her with a small smile on her face. She could feel Brittany's heart beating faster than usual and she placed her hand on the area, rubbing gently. "What's wrong, Britt?"

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled unconvincingly.

Santana eyed her skeptically but decided not to say anything. She touched Brittany's cheek and Brittany leaned into her hand as she pulled her into a sweet kiss, gently nibbling on her bottom lip, before pulling away. "I love you."

Brittany couldn't stop the smile that appeared on her face. "I love you too."

* * *

"Babe are you ready?" Santana asked as she made her way towards the bedroom. They had spent the day in bed, enjoying each other's company in more ways than one, and Santana couldn't wait to show Brittany what she had planned for the evening. A smile lit up her face when she found Brittany standing in front of the mirror. "You look beautiful."

The blonde was wearing a knee-length skirt with a white top and a pair of black heels. Her hair fell in waves over her shoulder and light makeup complimented her delicate features. She turned around at the sound of Santana's voice and looked down at herself, nervously twisting her hands together in front of her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Santana said confidently, closing the distance between them. "Absolutely beautiful."

Brittany let out a breath and a smile formed on her lips as her eyes scanned up and down Santana's body. "You don't look half bad yourself."

She was wearing a dark blue form fitting dress that ended mid-thigh, a pair of heels, and her hair was pulled up into a neat ponytail. Santana smiled at Brittany's words and leaned in to kiss her. She could sense that Brittany was nervous, although she had no idea why, so she took the blonde's hand in her own and laced their fingers together.

She pulled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "Are you sure you want to wear a skirt? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I don't feel uncomfortable around you." Brittany told her softly. "Just tell me one thing… are you taking me to a crowded place?"

"Not at all." Santana replied, causing Brittany to let out a sigh of relief. She smiled and gently kissed the corner of Brittany's mouth. "Are you ready to go?"

Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her out of the bedroom. They both grabbed a jacket before leaving the apartment and started to make their way towards the car. Santana quickly walked around the vehicle to open the door for Brittany. The taller girl squeezed her hand in silent appreciation before letting go of it and sliding into the passenger's seat.

Santana took a seat behind the wheel and flashed Brittany a small smile before starting the engine.

After a short drive, the car came to a stop and Santana turned in her seat to face Brittany. She leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to the blonde's lips before whispering, "Close your eyes."

"Why?"

"Just do it, Britt." Santana smiled.

Brittany looked at her for a moment before reluctantly doing as she had been told. Santana got out of the car and made her way over to Brittany's door. She opened it and reached for Brittany's hand, giving it a soft squeeze in reassurance. Once they were both steadily standing on the pavement, Santana moved to stand behind Brittany and reached up to cover her girlfriend's eyes with her hands.

"I wasn't going to open my eyes." Brittany protested with a small smile.

Santana kissed her shoulder. "I'm just making sure."

As Santana carefully guided Brittany's steps, Brittany could hear the sound of water coming closer. Her brow furrowed in curiosity, her fingers curled around Santana's wrists for no other reason than that she felt like holding onto her in some way or another, as they continued to walk slowly. Finally, they slowed down to a stop and Santana pressed a kiss just below Brittany's ear. "Ready?"

"Yes." Brittany told her quickly, barely able to contain her excitement. Santana removed her hands and Brittany blinked a few times before taking in her surroundings. They were standing on a dock, overlooking water on which boats were lined up. Brittany looked at Santana in confusion. "You own a boat?"

Santana shook her head and took the blonde's hand in her own. "Quinn's father owns a yacht and he allowed me to borrow it for the night." Brittany smiled softly in adoration and Santana brought her hand to her lips, kissing her palm. "Come on, let me show you."

Brittany nodded and let Santana lead the way. They climbed aboard and Brittany's eyes wandered around curiously. There was a table set for two, red rose petals covered the floor and music played softly in the background. It was beautiful.

"This is amazing, San." She whispered in awe, tightening her hold on Santana's hand. "Thanks for bringing me here."

"I thought it'd be romantic." Santana said with a shrug, suddenly feeling a little shy.

"I love it." Brittany told her brightly, pulling her closer.

They made their way over to the table and Santana held Brittany's chair out for her, waiting patiently until she was seated before dropping a kiss on the top of her head. She walked away and returned with two tall glasses of champagne, handing one to Brittany and setting the other one down on the table. As Santana disappeared into the kitchen again, Brittany let out a dreamy sigh. She couldn't be more in love with the brunette. Her heartbeat sped up slightly when she thought about what she had planned for tonight. She hoped that she wasn't about to ruin everything between them.

"Perfect timing." Santana's voice brought her back to reality. She watched as Santana carried in two plates of food and placed them on the table. "Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks."

"Who made this?" Brittany wondered as Santana sat down next to her.

"Berry." Santana replied simply. Brittany shot her a strange look and she quickly explained. "What? She overheard my conversation with Quinn and offered to help out." She paused for a second before adding, "I've come to the conclusion that she's kind of nice. Annoying as hell but nice."

"I'm glad." Brittany said softly, placing her hand on Santana's knee.

As they clinked glasses, Santana said, "To our first year together and hopefully many more to come."

Brittany offered her a small smile, her stomach churning with newfound nerves, before she took a mouthful of champagne, swallowing hard. She picked up her fork but accidently dropped it as a result of how badly her hands had started to shake. "Sorry." She blushed, rubbing the back of her neck. "I… I'll go get another one."

"Britt wait." Santana stopped her, covering her hand with her own. Brittany's entire body language had changed and she even seemed to be sweating a little. Santana tilted her head in concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Brittany tried to speak as calmly as possible. She didn't want her nerves to ruin the evening when Santana had put so much effort into making things perfect. She shook her head at herself and flashed Santana a reassuring smile. "I just need to use the bathroom."

Santana hesitated for a moment but then nodded and removed her hand. Brittany pecked her on the cheek before getting up and walking to the other side of the yacht. In the bathroom, she took some time to get her thoughts back in order and splashed some water into her face to calm herself down. She took a few deep breaths to try and get rid of her nerves before she exited the bathroom and returned to Santana's side, grabbing a new fork on her way back.

They chatted lightly over dinner, teasing and feeding each other, stealing sweet kisses every now and then. As the night went on, Brittany could feel her nerves getting worse but she tried not to let it show. When they were finished eating, Santana took Brittany's hand in her own. "I want to show you something."

She continued to hold Brittany's hand as she led her up to the deck of the ship. It was already dark outside and stars illuminated the sky. Brittany sighed happily and turned her head to place a kiss on Santana's temple. "It's beautiful."

Santana smiled as they cuddled on a bench in the corner, a blanket draped over them. She wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and the blonde rested her head on her shoulder in response. "You make me so happy, Britt." She whispered, squeezing Brittany's waist in affection. "I'm so proud of you."

"Why?" Brittany asked quietly.

"You've gotten so much better." Santana explained. A blush immediately crept up Brittany's face and Santana gently nudged her girlfriend's cheek with her nose. "Don't blush, babe. It's something to be proud of. You've come so far. You're finally talking about the accident, your nightmares have gotten so much better, and you're following your dreams."

"I couldn't have done it without you." Brittany said, playing with Santana's fingers in her lap. "I'm so lucky to have you."

Santana nuzzled her nose into Brittany's hair. "Believe me, I'm the lucky one."

"You made me smile when I was upset, you stayed with me through everything, and I'm so incredibly grateful for that." Brittany paused, getting teary-eyed as her emotions took over. "It'll always be hard but at least I know I'm not alone."

Santana cupped Brittany's chin and tilted her face up to capture her lips in a kiss. Brittany sighed into the kiss and melted into Santana's arms, parting her lips to allow the brunette access. They kissed for a few moments until Brittany pulled back, looking into Santana's eyes. "I'm proud of you too." She said softly.

"You are?" Santana asked, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards.

"Of course I am." Brittany replied, squeezing Santana's hand. "I know how difficult it is for you to talk about the situation with your parents. You told me that being around Andrea brings back a lot of memories and I'm so glad that you're not letting those memories scare you away." She pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Santana's hand. "You deserve all the happiness in the world, San, and your parents shouldn't get to ruin that for you."

Santana's throat constricted, lungs momentarily forgetting how to draw in air, and she dropped her eyes to her lap. Brittany always seemed to know her better than she knew herself. Not knowing what to say, Santana pulled Brittany against her again, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

They sat there in silence for a while, watching the night sky, until Santana finally spoke up. "Have you heard anything from Marley lately?"

Brittany nodded slowly. "She told me that Zach's in anger management therapy."

"That's good." Santana said, pursing her lips in thought. "Let's hope he'll stick with it."

Brittany placed a kiss on the side of her neck. "I don't really want to think about him right now, babe."

"Okay." Santana agreed, trailing her fingers up and down Brittany's arm distractedly. She sighed and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. "Is it time for my surprise yet?"

Brittany stiffened in her arms. Her heartbeat sped up again, this time beating loudly in her ears, as fear settled in her stomach. She licked her suddenly dry lips and replied in a shaky voice. "Now?"

"If you want to." Santana told her gently. Brittany pulled away from her and she frowned worriedly when she saw how pale Brittany suddenly looked, as if she had seen a ghost. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"N-Nothing." Brittany stuttered, her hand anxiously rubbing her arm. She took a calming breath and turned to face Santana, looking at her nose to avoid her eyes. "I was going to wait with my surprise until we got home since I didn't know where you were taking me but I guess I can give it to you now." She rambled nervously. "Maybe I should've prepared things better to make it more romantic but it was kind of a spontaneous plan and you already made things as perfect as they could possibly get so… Tina helped me with it and she said that you'll like it but then again she couldn't possibly know for sure and-"

"Whoa, slow down." Santana interrupted her, narrowing her eyes in concern. "There's no need to be so nervous, honey. I'm sure I'll love it, whatever it is."

"I'm not so sure of that." Brittany whispered, an almost pained expression on her face. Her eyes darted around before she suddenly got to her feet. "I left my purse at the table."

Before Santana had the chance to respond, Brittany was already walking away. The brunette pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to figure out what her girlfriend could possibly be so nervous about. She didn't have much time to think about it because Brittany returned, looking even more terrified than before, clutching her purse so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"Brittany…" Santana said softly, getting to her feet as well. Whatever it was that her girlfriend had planned, it couldn't be worth getting this worked up over.

Brittany's wide eyes followed Santana as she slowly moved closer to her. All her doubts and fears came rushing back to the surface, twisting her stomach into knots. Her nerves were unbearable and she momentarily regretted telling Santana about her surprise because now she couldn't back out anymore. Her blood was pounding in her ears, making her head spin, and her voice came out in a shaky whisper. "I think I'm going to be sick."

She suddenly dropped her purse and lurched forward, dry heaving over the railing. Her throat strained even as nothing came out. Santana quickly moved to stand behind her girlfriend, brushing her hair back with one hand and placing her other hand on her stomach.

"Jesus Christ, Britt." She muttered, slipping her hand under Brittany's top and rubbing small circles over her bare skin. "I've never seen you this nervous before. Are you sure your surprise is a good thing? Because you're starting to scare me a little."

"I'm sorry." Brittany said softly, slowly turning around in Santana's arms. She swallowed thickly and took a moment to compose herself. She couldn't believe she was already ruining things by being such a nervous wreck. The love that Santana's eyes held gave her the confidence not to run away and she reached out to take the brunette's hand in her own. She smiled sheepishly. "Don't worry. I'm fine. Just being silly."

"That's kind of hard to believe right now." Santana said skeptically, giving Brittany's hand a soft squeeze. "I'm not sure what's happening but we can just forget about this whole thing and go back to what we were doing if that would make you feel better."

"No, it's okay." Brittany replied with a stubborn shake of her head. "I can do this."

"Do what?" Santana asked, growing more confused by the second.

"I think you might've saved my life." Brittany blurted out, completely ignoring Santana's question.

Santana tilted her head. "What do you mean?"

"I was so sad after the accident but then you came along and made everything better." She paused and took a deep breath in preparation. She wasn't good with words and didn't want to turn into a rambling mess again. "From the moment I met you, I knew that you were special but I didn't think you would make this much of a difference in my life. You made me happy again, something I never thought I would be again, and I was falling for you before I even realized it was happening. When I finally did, I was terrified. I was terrified that I wasn't good enough for you, that you wouldn't want to be with me. You somehow managed to get me to open up to you, which I surprised myself with."

"Why?" Santana whispered, tears glimmering in her eyes.

"Because my initial reaction was to push you away. To run and never look back." Brittany explained with a helpless shrug of her shoulders. "But when I saw the look in your eyes that night, I just knew that I couldn't not try."

Santana offered her a small, watery smile. "I'm so glad you did."

"You weren't freaked out by everything I told you. Instead you held me and took care of me. That's when I knew that I never wanted to be without you. I couldn't survive without you." Brittany paused again, hesitating for a moment before letting go of Santana's hand. "You made me see that I was worth it. You gave me the courage to follow my dreams. You gave me a reason to get the help that I needed."

Santana was stunned to silence, too emotional to think.

"And you're such an amazing person, Santana. Every time I look at you I can't help but fall for you a little bit more. You're so beautiful. Your eyes, your smile… You're so passionate, funny, kind. And so incredibly strong too. I want to be there for you forever. I want to protect you, hold you, listen to you, for the rest of my life… You're the one."

Santana's eyes widened in shock when Brittany reached into her purse and pulled out a small, black box. Her breath hitched in her throat when Brittany dropped down onto one knee and she covered her mouth with her hand. "Britt..."

"I know that this is crazy because we've only been together for a year but you're the love of my life. I've never been more certain of anything." Brittany looked up at Santana, her eyes filled with sincerity. Slowly, she opened the box with shaky hands, revealing a simple but beautiful ring. "Santana, will you be crazy with me? Will you marry me?"

Santana allowed her tears to run freely. Brittany looked so vulnerable, staring up at her with those big blue eyes, and her heart clenched uncomfortably. "Britt..." She started and Brittany's face fell. "I can't."

Brittany's hand that was holding the box started to tremble uncontrollably as tears abruptly sprang to her eyes. "I-I…" She stammered, heat spreading across her cheeks. "It's too soon, isn't it? I-I'm so stupid. I'm sorry, Santana. Please don't… don't be mad at me."

"Hey, no that's not how it is." Santana reached down to cup Brittany's flushed cheek in her hand. Brittany couldn't possibly look more heart-broken and Santana had never hated herself as much as she did in that moment. "Sweetheart, it's not that I don't want to marry you. Believe me, I do. More than anything."

Brittany's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "I don't understand."

"Baby, you basically just told me that you wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for me." Santana started to explain. She knelt down in front of Brittany and covered her girlfriend's trembling hand with her own. "You literally said that you wouldn't be able to survive without me. What if something happens to me? To us? Would you just give up? You can't put that kind of pressure on me, Britt. It's not fair."

Brittany was so embarrassed. She just wanted to disappear. She pried her hand out of Santana's grasp, dropping the box in the process, and shuffled backwards. "I didn't…" She trailed off, not knowing what to say. Tears escaped her eyes before she could stop them. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. "I'm sorry."

"Oh no, don't cry. Please, babe, don't cry." Santana pleaded, moving closer to Brittany. She couldn't believe how this conversation had gone downhill so rapidly. For a moment she wished that she had just accepted Brittany's proposal because she really did want to marry the blonde but that wouldn't have been fair to either of them with these questions still on her mind. Placing her hand on Brittany's knee, she spoke as calmly as possible. "I need to know that you didn't just get help because of me. I need to know that you'll be okay if something ever were to happen to me. You're your own person, sweetheart. You should do things for yourself. Not for me."

"I am doing it for me." Brittany said. She still refused to look at Santana and Santana knew that she was embarrassed. "It's just that… Before I met you I didn't think I was worth it but you made me realize that I am. Getting help is the best decision I've ever made. It's liberating to talk about things." Her eyes briefly met Santana's but almost immediately flickered down again. "I'm doing it for you but for me too and for… for Jess. I can feel that she's proud of me."

Santana's shoulders deflated as she let out a breath. She suddenly felt stupid for making things so hard for herself, for hurting Brittany. She just needed some certainty and Brittany had now given it to her.

"Ask me again." She said and Brittany's eyes snapped up to hers. "Please."

"Why?" Brittany asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Please Britt." Santana replied, picking up the box that had fallen to the ground. She took Brittany's hand and put the box in her palm, closing her fingers around it. "Ask me."

Brittany's eyes nervously darted around her face, taking in every inch, before she held out the ring and softly asked, "Will you marry me?"

"Yes." Santana said confidently. Brittany's eyes lit up and Santana let out a laugh, cupping both of Brittany's cheeks and wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "Yes." She repeated once more before sealing her words with a sweet kiss on Brittany's lips. "I'm sorry for being an idiot. I just had to be sure, Britt."

"Are you not just saying this because you feel sorry for me?"

"No." Santana was quick to reassure her, pressing another firm kiss to her lips. She pulled away and rested their foreheads together. "I was just making things harder than they should've been. I guess I have some fears of my own. I'm sorry for scaring you." Brittany's lips curled up into a sympathetic smile and Santana felt her heart skip a beat. "I can't wait to make you my wife."

"Me too." Brittany told her lovingly. She carefully slid the ring onto Santana's ring finger before raising the brunette's hand to her lips and kissing her palm. "Beautiful."

"You were really nervous, huh?" Santana asked, tenderly caressing Brittany's cheek with her free hand.

Brittany's smile faltered slightly as she blushed furiously. "I can't believe I almost threw up."

"It's okay, babe." Santana told her, pecking her on the lips once again. "This is definitely a proposal to remember."

The corners of Brittany's eyes crinkled as she smiled shyly. "We're getting married."

"We're getting married." Santana echoed with a grin.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27.**

"Babe?" Santana called out when she got home that day. She took off her jacket and kicked off her heels before making her way into the living room. A smile formed on her lips when she spotted Brittany on the couch, reading a book, face scrunched up in concentration. Santana quietly inched closer and then leaned down to place the gentlest of kisses on Brittany's cheek. "Hi."

Brittany's lips curled up into a subtle smile as she looked up with sparkling eyes. "Hey."

"I missed you." Santana admitted in a soft whisper.

Brittany closed her book before she tugged on Santana's sleeve, guiding her down until their lips met in a sweet kiss. Santana's eyes fluttered shut and she hummed in approval as Brittany pulled her bottom lip between her own, nibbling lightly. They pulled away and Brittany looked at her with soft eyes. "I missed you too."

Santana let out a content sigh as she plopped down on the couch next to Brittany, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder. "How was your day?"

"It was okay. I cleaned the apartment a bit before my appointment with Dr. Hill." Brittany replied quietly, reaching up and twirling a strand of Santana's hair around her finger. "Our sessions are going a lot better. I'm feeling a lot better too."

"You have no idea how happy that makes me." Santana breathed out as she cuddled a little closer to Brittany, draping her arm over the other girl's waist. "You've been sleeping a lot better too. It's been a while since you last had a nightmare." She didn't have to see Brittany's face to know that she was blushing. Her nightmares always embarrassed her, despite how many times Santana had told her that there was absolutely no reason to feel that way. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Brittany told her with a small smile. She gently started to brush her fingers through Santana's hair, eliciting a shiver from the smaller girl. "How was work?"

"It was good." Santana said, her eyes fluttering shut as a result of Brittany's touch. "Quinn and Rachel completely freaked out when they saw the ring on my finger." A warm feeling spread through her body at the thought and she briefly opened her eyes to look at the engagement ring that Brittany had given her. "Then they bombarded me with questions. It was kind of ridiculous."

"Did you tell them that I came close to ruining everything by almost throwing up?" Brittany asked sheepishly. Santana opened her eyes again and shot her an apologetic look. Brittany groaned and shook her head at herself. "How embarrassing."

"It wasn't that bad." Santana said, slightly pulling back to see Brittany's face more clearly. Brittany just looked at her with narrowed eyes and she chuckled. "Okay maybe it was kind of bad but you're cute when you're nervous." Brittany's lips formed into a cute pout and Santana smiled, reaching up to run her thumb over her fiancée's cheek. "And to me it was perfect so don't worry."

Brittany returned the smile and leaned into Santana's touch. "I can't wait to tell everyone else." She bit her lip in thought before asking, "How does that work? I've never been engaged before."

"Well, that's good to know." Santana chuckled, kissing the corner of Brittany's mouth. "I guess we'll send wedding invitations but maybe it'd be nice to invite Noah, Marley and Andrea over for dinner and tell them the news in person? And maybe Quinn too, even though she already knows, because I want to ask her to be my maid of honor."

"That sounds like a great idea." Brittany said as Santana relaxed in her embrace again, nuzzling her nose in her dark locks. "I called my parents, by the way. My mom asked me if it's alright if they come visit this weekend. I told them yes since we don't have any plans anyway. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is." Santana replied. "Did you tell them about our engagement?"

"No, I decided to wait and tell them when they get here."

"We might as well just tell everyone at once." Santana suggested. "I'm sure Noah would love to see your parents."

Brittany simply nodded in response. A comfortable silence settled over them, Santana tracing the lines on Brittany's palm absentmindedly. The sound of a heavy sigh caught Brittany's attention and she looked down at Santana worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." Santana mumbled, burying her face in the curve of Brittany's neck. Brittany brushed a few strands of hair behind Santana's ear and nudged her fiancée's cheek with her nose, kissing the spot tenderly. Santana released another sigh and reluctantly pulled back, dropping her gaze to her lap. "I just realized something."

"What's that?" Brittany asked, gently rubbing her hand up and down Santana's arm.

"It's stupid." Santana whispered, a sad expression twisting her features. Brittany shot her a look and she glanced away, nervously playing with Brittany's fingers. "I'm getting married and my parents won't be there." Brittany's heart dropped to her stomach. She couldn't even begin to imagine how much that must hurt. "When I was younger I never would have imagined things would end up like this."

"San…" Brittany whispered, feeling her heart clench in her chest. Santana released a shaky breath and turned away from her, obviously trying to hide her tears. It was rare to see this side of Santana, so vulnerable, and Brittany didn't want her to build her walls back up. She pulled herself upright and pressed a lingering kiss to Santana's shoulder. "Come here, baby."

Santana sniffled and allowed Brittany to maneuver their bodies so that they were lying on their sides, Brittany pressed up against Santana from behind. The blonde locked her arms around Santana's waist and kissed the back of her neck, silently letting her know that she was there for her. Santana melted into Brittany's arms and covered one of Brittany's hands with her own, intertwining their fingers.

Several moments of silence passed before Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and spoke softly. "After we got engaged, the first thought that popped into my mind was to call my mother but then I… then I remembered."

Brittany kissed the underside of Santana's jaw and tightened her arms around the brunette, silently showing her support.

Santana took a few deep, calming breaths. Brittany waited patiently, simply holding her and pressing comforting kisses to every inch of her skin she could reach. It were small gestures but Santana found great comfort in them. "I just really miss them sometimes." She continued, her voice barely above a whisper. "But then I feel stupid for missing them because why would I miss someone that caused me so much pain?"

Brittany pursed her lips in thought, her socked feet rubbing gently against Santana's cold bare ones. "It's okay to think of them, San." She finally said. "I can see why you feel like you shouldn't be missing them but it's totally understandable that you are. The way they hurt you can never be excused but you have a lot of good memories of them too. You spent the majority of your life with them and nobody expects you to forget about all the good moments you shared with them."

Santana nodded slowly, clasping Brittany's hand to her chest. "It's just so confusing. I'm angry but at the same time I miss them and that just makes me even more angry." She sighed in frustration and brought their joined hands up to her cheek to wipe a tear away. "I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't have to." Brittany said softly. She was silent for a while, her steady breaths hitting the back of Santana's neck, causing her to shudder. Finally, she asked, "Have you been thinking about the wedding a lot?"

Santana brought Brittany's hand to her lips and kissed it gently. "It's all I've been thinking about."

"Me too." Brittany said quietly, pulling her closer. She hesitated for a moment before adding, "And I came to the conclusion that I don't want a long engagement. I want to make you my wife as soon as possible." She bit her lip nervously when Santana didn't immediately respond. "I-Is that okay?"

"It's perfect." Santana replied with a dreamy look on her face. She turned around in Brittany's arms and tucked her head under Brittany's chin, nuzzling her nose against the blonde's neck and inhaling her scent. "Do you want a big wedding?"

Brittany shook her head. "I'd rather have small one with just our closest friends and relatives."

"I guess we should start planning everything soon." Santana said, a grin slowly spreading across her face. She let her hand glide up and down Brittany's side, letting her fingertips graze the exposed skin between her sweater and her jeans. She could feel Brittany's heartbeat speed up where her ear was pressed against Brittany's chest and she knew that her fiancée was fighting the urge to pull her sweater back down. Santana pulled back slightly to meet conflicted blue eyes. "It's okay."

Brittany shot her a small smile. "I know."

Santana knew that Brittany's insecurities still got the best of her sometimes, even though she trusted her and felt comfortable around her. It would probably always be that way and Santana didn't blame her for that. All she could do was be there for her and reassure her in every way possible.

Brittany held her breath as Santana's fingers moved over her skin by habit, mapping out each scar slowly. "You're beautiful." The brunette whispered, pressing soft kisses under her jaw. "So beautiful."

A blush rose to Brittany's face, all the way to her ears, and she tilted her head down to land a chaste kiss on Santana's lips. Santana smiled and brought her hand up to cup Brittany's cheek, caressing the skin gently. Brittany closed the distance between them, capturing Santana's lips in another sweet kiss. She pulled back and smiled shyly. "Hi."

Santana let out a soft chuckle. "Hey."

"I love your sweet lady kisses."

Santana's smile widened and she brought their lips together again, sliding her hand to the back of Brittany's neck and tangling her fingers into her hair. Brittany sighed into the kiss, feeling warmth pool into her heart; there was no one who could make her feel as safe and secure as Santana could with just a simple touch. She was certain that marrying Santana would be the best decision she could ever make.

* * *

Santana smiled when she felt two arms wrap around her waist from behind. It was Saturday and they had invited their friends over for dinner to tell them about their engagement, as agreed upon a few days prior, and Santana was currently standing behind the stove while Brittany had just finished setting the table. The blonde had only just gotten home from doing the afternoon show so Santana had offered to do the cooking. Brittany's parents had arrived late last night and were staying at a hotel nearby. Santana couldn't help but be slightly nervous to tell them the news. She knew how protective they were of Brittany and she really wanted to have their blessing.

A groan escaped her throat as Brittany started a slow trail of kisses down her neck and her eyes closed on their own accord. "Britt…"

"Hmm?" Brittany mumbled, nibbling lightly on Santana's skin.

"Baby please…" Santana released an involuntary giggle as Brittany's lips continued teasing her. She twisted her neck away from Brittany's reach, smiling in amusement when her fiancée pouted cutely in disappointment. "Stop distracting me."

"Fine." Brittany mumbled, resting her chin on Santana's shoulder. "Do you need any help with anything else?"

"No, I'm just finishing the last things." Santana informed her.

Before Brittany had the chance to respond, there was a round of knocks on the front door. She pressed a kiss to Santana's cheek before releasing the smaller woman from her embrace. "I'll go get that."

Santana nodded and turned back to her work. She listened as Brittany greeted their first guest and smiled when she heard Marley's voice. Ever since the incident with Zach, Santana had gotten to known the girl a lot better and she could honestly say that she was one of the sweetest people she had ever met. She was glad that Marley seemed to be coping well with the break-up. She deserved to be happy.

She was pulled from her thoughts when Marley walked into the room. "Hi Santana."

Santana turned around and smiled widely. She walked over to the taller brunette and pulled her into a warm hug. "It's good to see you." She said after they parted. "How are you?"

"I'm good." Marley returned the smile. "I'm sorry I'm a bit early."

"Don't worry about it." Santana made an off-hand gesture as she returned to the stove and turned off the burners. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"A glass of water please."

Santana moved to get it for her but Brittany beat her to it. "I'll get it, San."

A few minutes later, they were all seated in the living room. Santana subtly scooted closer to Brittany and placed her hand on the blonde's lower back. For some reason she always felt the need to be close to her, even if it was just a touch. She thought about all the things they were overcoming, how their love still seemed to grow, and her heart fluttered happily in her chest.

"How have things been at work?" Brittany asked in her usual soft tone.

"Not too bad." Marley replied with a shrug of her shoulders. "Kitty is still a pain in the ass but she's growing on me. We talk a lot and she's actually kind of nice when she wants to be."

"Well, that's good to hear." Santana said with a thoughtful expression on her face. She could tell that Marley was being genuine but she still wanted the brunette to know something. "Just give me a call if you want me to have a little talk with her."

"I'll keep that in mind." Marley smiled at her. She took a sip from her water before she focused her attention on Brittany. "So, what about you?"

Brittany blinked in confusion. "What about me?"

Santana ran her hand across Brittany's back and leaned in to kiss her gently on the cheek. "She's talking about your work, baby." She explained in a whisper.

"Oh." Brittany mumbled, a blush spreading across her face as she smiled sheepishly. "The show is almost coming to an end. It already got extended beyond its originally planned length."

"What do you plan on doing next?" Marley asked.

"I guess I'll audition for other jobs after this production ends." Brittany shrugged. She chewed on her bottom lip before adding, "But my options are limited."

Marley tilted her head and looked at her curiously. "Why is that?"

"Because…" Brittany hesitated, squirming uncomfortably in her seat. "Most parts require you to wear different types of outfits." Marley just continued to stare at her and she realized that she was going to have to explain herself further. "Sometimes some of those outfits can be a bit… revealing."

Marley's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "And you're not comfortable with that?"

It was then that Santana remembered that Brittany had never told Marley about her accident and she glanced at the blonde with sad eyes. Brittany pressed her lips together in a tight line and looked away. "Yeah, something like that." She muttered.

Santana could tell that Marley wanted to ask more questions but they were interrupted by the sound of knocking. Brittany quickly rose to her feet and shot them a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes before she left the room. Santana let out a sigh and focused her gaze on Marley who was looking at her with a curious expression on her face. "Is she okay?"

Santana nodded. "Yeah. I think she's just a little worried about finding a new job after the play ends."

Marley opened her mouth to say something when Brittany returned with Noah following behind her, marking the end of their conversation. Brittany's parents and Andrea arrived shortly after and finally, Quinn completed the group. After everyone had been introduced to each other, Brittany made sure that everyone had something to drink while Santana carried the food out. Soon they were all seated at the table.

"How long are you staying, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce?" Noah asked.

"We'll fly back home tomorrow night." Martin replied. "We haven't seen Brittany in quite a while so these few days are worth it."

"Well, it's great to see you again." Noah said.

"Likewise." Susan smiled at him before she looked at her daughter. "Not that I don't like it but is this dinner for a special occasion?"

Brittany's eyes widened and she stilled her movements, her fork hovering mid-air. She didn't want to tell them yet. Santana and her had agreed to wait until later. "Uh…" She stammered nervously, trying to think of an explanation. "We already had this dinner planned when you told us you were coming to visit."

Susan looked her for a moment, probably seeing right through the lie, but luckily she just nodded.

"So Andrea, what do you do for a living?" Quinn steered the conversation in a different direction.

Santana knew that it was only a matter of time before the interrogation would start. She had told Quinn about Andrea but this was the first time that she had introduced them to each other. Brittany had finally started to accept Andrea and she hoped that Quinn would be able to do the same thing. She watched with curious eyes as Andrea smiled politely before answering the question.

"I'm a teacher."

Quinn pursed her lips and nodded slowly. "Does teaching run in your family?"

"Not really." Andrea told her. "My parents own a restaurant."

"Are you still in contact with them?" Quinn asked with a blank expression on her face.

Santana awkwardly shifted in her seat. She couldn't believe how uncomfortable this whole situation was. She didn't understand why Quinn had to do this now, with Brittany's friends and parents there.

To make matters worse, Quinn continued, "As in, do they know that you got back in touch with Santana?"

"Quinn." Santana hissed, shooting the blonde a glare.

"What?" Quinn shrugged. "I was just wondering."

"Would someone mind telling me what's going on?" Noah spoke up, looking up from his already almost empty plate. He frowned when no one replied, his eyes flickering from Quinn to Andrea and back. "Do you two not like each other or something?"

"It's a long story." Andrea said quietly.

"I think I asked you a pretty simple question." Quinn said in a calm voice, causing Santana to bury her face in her hands in frustration. "Do your parents know that you waltzed back into Santana's life as if nothing happened?" She paused and leaned back in her chair, shaking her head in disapproval. "How can you be all happy and smiles with them when you know how much they hurt Santana? And what about holidays, does your whole family just ignore Santana's absence for the sake of keeping up appearances?"

"Well, this is awkward." Martin mumbled, taking a sip from his beer.

Santana slowly lowered her hands. She glanced at Brittany and was surprised to see that the blonde seemed oddly intrigued by the conversation. She let out a sigh and placed her hand on Brittany's lower back, trying to somehow distract her. She didn't want all the progress between her fiancée and Andrea to be wasted only because Quinn couldn't keep her mouth shut.

"No, my parents don't know." Andrea admitted calmly. Quinn scoffed and the brunette shot her a look of slight annoyance. "But if they were to find out, I wouldn't let their opinion interfere with my decisions. Santana's really important to me and I would never do anything to ruin things between us again."

"Are you hearing yourself?" Quinn asked, astonished. "You're a grown woman, yet you're sneaking around behind your parents backs like a teenager."

"Girls." Susan tried to get their attention. "Maybe now is not the right time for this."

"That's not what I'm doing." Andrea ignored Susan's comment, now starting to get a little angry. "I just haven't brought it up yet because I didn't want to cause unnecessary drama. I know how they'll react and it's something I'd like to put off as long as possible." She took a deep breath before continuing in a calmer tone. "Not because I care about what they have to say, but because it hurts to hear them say those things about someone that I love."

"Then why don't you speak up to them?" Quinn asked, her features softening slightly.

"I've tried but they just won't listen." Andrea sighed sadly. "Believe me, it's easier to just ignore what they have to say." She looked at Santana. "I'll tell them tonight if you want me to."

"You don't have to do anything, Andrea." Santana told her, flashing her a small smile of reassurance.

A few moments of silence passed before Quinn spoke again. "What about your husband?"

"Paulo supports me one hundred percent on this. I told him about everything that happened in the past and it makes him really happy that Santana and I are trying to rebuild our relationship. He looks forward to meeting Santana and hates how things never work out schedule wise."

"I'll meet him eventually." Santana commented.

Andrea nodded but didn't say anything.

Susan cleared her throat. "Let's talk about something else."

"That sounds like a fantastic plan, Mrs. P." Noah said, crossing his hands behind his head and leaning back in relaxation. His eyes settled on Marley and he paused in contemplation before asking, "How's Zach?"

"Like that topic is any less uncomfortable." Brittany mumbled, shaking her head at her best friend's inconsideration. She could imagine that this was hard to talk about for Marley, especially in front of everyone, and she didn't want the brunette to feel obligated to. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about this, Mar."

"I don't mind." Marley reassured her with a small smile. She took a moment to gather her thoughts, pushing her food around her plate distractedly. Finally, she spoke. "He's doing better, I guess."

"Who's Zach?" Andrea asked curiously. "If you don't mind me asking, of course."

"He's my ex-boyfriend." Marley explained quietly. She bit her lip and was silent for a moment before she looked up and continued. "He told me that it's hard to focus on his recovery when he's so close to me. That's why he's made the decision to continue his therapy in Germany where his family lives. There won't be any distractions there."

"And how do you feel about that?" Brittany asked.

"I'm just glad that he truly wants to get better." Marley answered the question.

"He's still a coward in my eyes." Noah muttered angrily.

"I couldn't agree more." Martin said, his eyes darkening.

Marley looked at him nervously. "Did Brittany tell you about what happened?"

"She did." Susan replied with a soft smile. "And I can see what you're thinking. We don't blame you for anything."

Marley relaxed slightly and nodded.

"I don't quite understand why you didn't press charges, bug." Martin said, looking at his daughter.

Brittany shrugged and wiped her mouth with a napkin. "I believe in second chances."

Santana noticed the utterly confused expression on Andrea's face and she couldn't help but feel bad. She glanced around the table and noticed that everyone had finished eating. She took a deep breath and decided that now was the right time to announce the big news.

"Britt?" She whispered, leaning sideways to speak in the blonde's ear. "Should we tell them now?"

"Tell us what?" Noah asked, having heard the question.

Santana glared at him.

"I guess so." Brittany answered Santana's question quietly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. She placed her hand on Santana's knee and looked at their friends shyly. "The reason that we invited you all over tonight is because we want to tell you something."

Martin raised his eyebrows curiously. "Go on."

"A few days ago when Santana and I were celebrating our anniversary, I…" Brittany paused, suddenly feeling a little nervous, and Santana covered the blonde's hand with her own, giving it a soft squeeze in reassurance. Brittany licked her lips and finally blurted out, "I asked her to marry me."

"And I said yes." Santana clarified, carefully studying Martin's reaction. "We're getting married."

A few seconds of silence passed and Marley was the first one to react with an excited squeal. "That's amazing news!"

"It is." Noah added with a smile. "Congratulations."

"I'm not surprised at all." Susan grinned, sounding emotional. "You two make a perfect couple."

Santana's smile faltered when she saw the serious expression on Martin's face and she gulped nervously. A few agonizing moments of silence passed before he finally stood up and walked around the table. He leaned down to envelope Brittany in a warm hug.

"I'm proud of you." He whispered in her ear, causing his daughter to smile widely. He kissed Brittany on the cheek as he pulled back and moved over to give Santana a hug as well. "I trust you to take care of her, Santana."

Santana sighed in relief and returned the hug. "I will."

They parted and Santana looked at her hand when she felt Andrea cover it with hers. She looked up to meet warm brown eyes. "I'm really happy for you and Brittany." Andrea briefly glanced at Brittany who acknowledged her words with a small nod before she focused her attention on Santana again. "I wish you two the best."

"Thank you." Santana said softly.

Marley frowned when she noticed the knowing smirk on Quinn's face. "You knew?"

"Yeah Santana told me a few days ago. Tina knows too. She helped Brittany pick out the ring." Quinn replied. "I'm surprised none of you have noticed it yet."

"I wasn't paying attention to it." Marley said with a pout, reaching across the table to grab Santana's hand. She lifted it and examined the ring on the brunette's finger with sparkling eyes. "It's beautiful."

"I think we should drink to this occasion." Noah suggested.

Brittany nodded in agreement and made her way into the kitchen to grab a bottle of wine and some bottles of beer. Once she had provided everyone with a refill, she made her way back to Santana's side just as Susan asked her to tell them all about the proposal. Brittany felt her cheeks heat up as she silently took a seat.

"Quinn's father allowed me to borrow his yacht for the night so I took Britt there." Santana started to explain. "We had everything set up for romantic dinner and Rachel, a colleague of us, helped me out with the food."

"Wait." Marley interrupted her. "I thought Brittany did the proposing."

"She did." Santana affirmed with a nod. "I could tell that she was nervous about something. She had been acting strange all day and it only worsened as the night carried on." She smiled at Brittany who was blushing furiously and pecked her on the cheek. "After dinner, we cuddled and watched the stars for a while and that's when she finally popped the question."

Noah took in Brittany's reaction and smirked. "Did you do something embarrassing, Britty?"

"No!" Brittany replied a little too quickly.

"It was perfect." Santana said, rubbing her hand up and down Brittany's thigh comfortingly.

"I can't believe my baby is getting married." Susan's eyes misted over. "It means everything to me to see you so happy, Britt." She wiped a tear away and looked at Santana. "Martin and I couldn't have asked for a better daughter-in-law."

Santana shyly ducked her head. Brittany smiled in adoration and cupped the brunette's cheek, tilting her face back up. She smiled softly and pecked her lightly on the lips before whispering, "I love you."

"I love you too." Santana whispered back.

"You two are disgustingly cute." Noah said while fake gagging.

"Shut up, Puckerman." Brittany shot him a playful glare.

"There's one more thing I want to ask." Santana announced in a more serious tone. She turned to Quinn with a smile. "Will you be my maid of honor?"

Quinn's eyes widened in surprise before she practically lunged at Santana, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her into a tight hug. "I would love to! Thank you so much."

Santana laughed and lightly patted her on the back. "There's no need to thank me, Q. You're my best friend."

Brittany watched the exchange with a loving smile. She waited patiently until Quinn was seated again before she looked at Noah and asked, "Will you be my best man?"

Noah blinked at the question, then grinned back. "Of course."

They spent the rest of the night chatting and laughing. One by one they all went home until Brittany's parents were the only ones left. It was getting late so they decided to call it a night as well. After they had gathered their things, Brittany and Santana walked them to the door.

"Thanks for the great evening." Susan said brightly, kissing Brittany on the cheek before moving over to Santana to do the same thing.

"There's no need to thank us, mom." Brittany smiled at her. "I'm really glad you decided to visit."

"We missed you, bug." Martin said, placing his hand on his daughter's shoulder and squeezing gently. His eyes scanned her features intently until Brittany shyly averted her gaze. "How have you been?"

Brittany tensed slightly. She always hated discussing her well-being.

"Good." She told her dad. "My nightmares have gotten a lot better ever since I started opening up in my therapy sessions more."

"That's good, honey." Susan breathed out, relief evident on her face. "We're always there when you need us."

"I know." Brittany said softly.

"I would offer to drive you back to the hotel but I drank." Santana said. "It's raining pretty hard outside. You can stay here?"

"That's alright. We'll hail a cab."

Santana nodded. "If you're sure."

"I'm sure." Martin told her again with a smile. "Shall we meet up for lunch tomorrow?"

Brittany nodded and stepped forward to give her dad a hug. He wrapped his arms around her as she buried her face against his chest, sighing happily. Martin gently rubbed his hand across her shoulder blades and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too." Brittany said as she slowly pulled away.

After Brittany's parents had left the apartment, they quickly cleaned everything up and decided to go to bed since they were both pretty tired. Brittany took a seat on the edge of the bed and watched as Santana got changed, biting her lip as her eyes roamed over Santana's body. She couldn't believe she was lucky enough to be engaged to this woman.

"Stop staring at me." Santana said as she pulled a shirt over her head.

Brittany's cheeks flushed slightly at being caught but she didn't look away. "I can't help it. You're just so beautiful."

"And you're cute." Santana grinned as she slowly walked over to the bed. She straddled Brittany's hips, sitting in her lap with their noses brushing together. She tangled her fingers into Brittany's hair and captured the blonde's soft lips with her own. She trailed her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip and Brittany let out a soft moan before granting her access, groaning when their tongues met. They continued to kiss until they were both in desperate need of oxygen. Santana rested their foreheads together. "I love you so fucking much, Britt."

Brittany responded by pulling her into another kiss.

* * *

Santana jolted awake at the sound of a loud thunderclap. She blinked rapidly in confusion and raised her hands to her eyes to rub the sleep out of them. It took a moment for her mind to process what was happening and she suddenly felt wide awake. She rolled over onto her other side in search for Brittany and sighed in relief when the blonde was still in bed with her. Unfortunately, her relief was short lived because Brittany was sitting upright with her hands covering her ears, obviously terrified.

"Babe?" Santana called out as she slowly pulled herself upright as well. Brittany didn't respond and Santana chewed on her bottom lip in consideration before carefully placing her hand on her fiancée's shoulder. Brittany startled at the unexpected touch and her eyes snapped open, her scared blue orbs meeting Santana's concerned brown ones. Santana gently covered one of Brittany's hands with her own. "Can I?"

Brittany again stayed silent and Santana wasn't sure if she was even able to hear her. When she tried to pry Brittany's hand off her ear, the blonde whimpered and furiously shook her head.

"Okay, okay. It's okay." Santana soothed, moving her hand up and down Brittany's forearm comfortingly. Another round of thunder shook the room and Brittany squeezed her eyes shut, causing tears to spill over.

Santana felt her heart break into a million pieces. She knew that Brittany was on the verge of having a panic attack and she was desperate to prevent it. After a moment of contemplation, she finally maneuvered herself so that she was sitting behind Brittany, carefully wrapping her arms around the other girl's waist to keep from startling her.

"I've got you, Britt." She spoke closely to Brittany's ear, hoping that she could hear her. "Please trust me."

Brittany allowed Santana to move them backwards so that the brunette's back was pressed against the headboard, Brittany leaning back against her chest. Santana tightened her arms around Brittany's trembling frame, pressing a kiss to her temple. She reached up to touch Brittany's hand again, gently rubbing her thumb across the back of it until Brittany's grip finally loosened.

"It's okay." She whispered in the blonde's ear as she slowly lowered her hand, clasping it tightly in her own. "You're okay."

Brittany slowly removed her other hand as well, turning her head to bury it in the crook of Santana's neck. "I-I'm sorry, San. It's the thunder… It-"

"Shh. It's okay." Santana shushed her, gently running her fingers through her long blonde locks. She hated seeing Brittany this frightened without being able to do anything about it. It made her feel lost and helpless. "What can I do to help, Britt? Do you want your medicine?"

Brittany shook her head. "Don't leave."

"Okay, I won't." Santana reassured her, rubbing slow circles on her back, tracing the bumpy texture of her skin with the soft pads of her fingertips. It was only then that she realized that they were both still naked and she reached down to pull the covers over them, wanting to keep Brittany warm.

The next couple of minutes were some of the longest minutes of Santana's life. She continued to whisper comforting things in Brittany's ear, calming her with soft caresses, doing everything within her power to keep Brittany from having a panic attack. The blonde clung onto her, clearly terrified, but she responded well to Santana's words and touches.

Finally, the thunder started to subside and Santana let out a sigh of relief.

"It's almost over." Santana spoke softly to Brittany, reaching up to gently wipe her fiancée's tears away. "You did so well, sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." She decorated Brittany's cheeks with kisses and then pressed a lingering one to her lips. "I love you so much."

It was silent for a while, with the exception of Brittany's quiet sniffles and the thunder that was now sounding faint and far away. "I'm sorry." Brittany mumbled against the warm skin of Santana's neck, furiously wiping at her own eyes. "I'm sorry, Santana. I'm trying. I'm getting better, I swear…"

"Hey, what are you talking about?" Santana asked with a furrowed brow, cupping Brittany's chin and tilting her face up. Her eyes met the saddest pools of blue she had ever seen and her heart ached in her chest. "You did so well, Brittany. You didn't have a panic attack. You allowed me to comfort you. That's progress."

Brittany's eyes nervously flickered away from hers. "I'm not sure if I'll ever stop being afraid, San."

"And that's okay. Things will probably never get easy but they're getting better and that's all that matters." Santana pressed a firm kiss to Brittany's lips. "Try to get some sleep, okay?"

Brittany nodded slowly. "Okay."

Santana shifted her body so that she was lying on her back, pulling Brittany with her. She pressed a kiss to Brittany's forehead as Brittany rested her head on her chest, holding her as closely as possible. She rubbed small circles on Brittany's back until she heard her breathing even out, an indication that the exhausted blonde had fallen back asleep. Santana released a sigh and allowed her own eyes to close too. Things had changed so much from the first time she had witnessed Brittany having a panic attack. Brittany had pushed her away then, completely and utterly lost, but now she allowed Santana to comfort her and confided in her. That was all Santana had wished for.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28.**

Santana let out a breath as she looked at herself in the mirror. She still couldn't believe that this was actually happening. She was marrying the love of her life today. Her dress was an off white color, strapless with a sweetheart neckline, simple and elegant. Her hair was curled and pinned to the side. There was still some time left before the most important part of the day would take place and Santana felt her heartbeat speed up as she tried to keep her nerves under control.

"You look beautiful, Santana." Quinn said softly from beside her. Only the two of them were left in the room. Everyone had swarmed her earlier but she needed some time to herself. This would be one of the most important days of her life and she wanted to remember every detail of it. Quinn's eyes were glistening with emotion as she looked at Santana. "I'm so happy for you."

Santana's bottom lip quivered and she took a moment to compose herself before saying, "Don't start please. I don't want to start crying and ruin my makeup."

Quinn laughed softly and placed her hands on Santana's shoulders from behind, giving them a gentle squeeze. They locked eyes in the mirror and the corners of Quinn's lips curled up into a subtle smile. "Are you ready?"

Santana inhaled deeply before nodding slowly but confidently. She knew the weeks leading up to this day would be absolutely worth it. It had been a hectic time to say the least. Despite their decision to keep the wedding small, it had still taken more planning than they had expected. Luckily they had agreed on most things quite easily. It didn't really matter to Santana how or where they were getting married as long as she got to call Brittany her wife at the end of the day.

"Let's do this." Quinn's voice brought her back to reality.

Santana nodded and allowed Quinn to link their arms together. She focused solely on her breathing as a wave of nerves surged through her body. She thought of everything her and Brittany had been through. They had overcome so much together, and they were still happy. That's all Santana wanted; them to be happy. She was grateful for Brittany, and the happiness she brought her, it was more happiness than she ever thought possible.

The journey downstairs passed in a blur and suddenly she found herself standing at the altar. She blinked a few times and looked into the faces of their family and friends. Her heart was beating so fast that she was afraid it would explode. She startled slightly when the music began to play again and she quickly turned to look at the doorway where two figures stood before slowly stepping out. She felt her breath hitch in her throat as she watched Brittany make her way down the aisle on her father's arm. Time seemed to slow when her eyes locked with sparkling blue ones.

Brittany looked beyond beautiful. She had spent a lot of time trying to find the perfect dress and Santana could honestly say that she had succeeded. It was a snow white mermaid style dress that hugged her curves perfectly with a high neckline. Her hair was styled up into a braided bun and light make-up complimented her delicate features. But it was the shy yet bashful smile on her face that left Santana breathless.

Brittany blushed as her father guided her last steps down the aisle. Her eyes never left Santana's as she took in the brunette's beautiful appearance. She swore she fell in love with her all over again in that moment. Her stomach flipped nervously as they came to a stop and Santana stepped over to them. Martin looked at Santana for a moment before his lips formed into a small smile and he let go of Brittany's arm. He pecked her on the cheek and Santana gave him a small nod in thanks as he moved to his seat.

Santana held her breath as her eyes met baby blue ones. They were filled with so much love, warmth and affection, and she felt her heart flutter happily in her chest. She was already close to crying, as embarrassing as it was. As if sensing her thoughts, Brittany gently cupped her cheek and mouthed, "I love you."

Santana flashed her a shaky smile and did the same thing. Brittany returned the smile and stroked her cheek for another moment before retreating her hand. Their eyes remained connected as the minister began to speak.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Santana Marie Lopez and Brittany Susan Pierce in holy matrimony. Before we begin, should anyone here have an objection as to why these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Absolute silence followed. Brittany tentatively reached out to take Santana's hand in her own, a shy smile still gracing her features. Santana gave her hand a soft squeeze in return, looking around warily even though she knew no one would object.

After a few moments that seemed to last forever, the minister finally continued. "Very well. Do you, Santana Marie Lopez, take Brittany Susan Pierce to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

"I do." Santana said without any hesitation.

Brittany's eyes watered a bit in happiness as the minister turned to her. "And do you, Brittany Susan Pierce, take Santana Marie Lopez to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"

Brittany smiled at Santana as she whispered, "I do."

There were some small mutters of approval from their guests. Santana grinned as she ran her thumb over Brittany's knuckles. It felt like her heart was about to explode with happiness. The moment was interrupted by the minister who spoke again. "Do you have the rings?"

At that point, Noah stepped forward, presenting the small cushion with two rings on it. They each took one and Santana lifted Brittany's hand to easily slide the ring onto her finger before Brittany did the same to her. The minister smiled as he closed the ceremony. "With the power invested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Brittany grinned goofily as she cupped both of Santana's cheeks and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Santana sighed against Brittany's lips and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, holding her close. After several moments, they pulled away and Brittany let out a giggle as Santana slid her arm behind her back and dipped her. Santana smiled widely as Brittany wrapped her arms around her neck before she captured her lips in another kiss. She could hardly hear their friends and family clap in the background. She only had eyes for her wife. God, it felt amazing to call her that.

* * *

A few hours later, after the plates had been removed and everyone had listened to the best man's speech, it was time for the married couple's first dance. Brittany had been a bit worried that Noah would say something to embarrass her but instead, his speech had somehow ended up making her cry and she, among several other people at the reception, had ended up wiping her eyes.

Everything had been perfect so far. Santana had finally met Andrea's husband and he turned out to be a really nice guy. He was the quiet type but he made Andrea happy and that was all that mattered to Santana. She sighed happily as Brittany led her to the dance floor. Her heart once again skipped a beat when she realized how beautiful Brittany truly looked. Of course she had already noticed this when the blonde had walked down the aisle, but she had been far too nervous to really enjoy the moment.

"I love you, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce." Brittany's voice brought her back to reality.

She smiled widely and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist, pressing their bodies close together. She pressed a kiss to the side of Brittany's neck before burying her face against it, her eyes fluttering shut as she felt Brittany's arms wrap around her. "I love you too, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce." She whispered back in the blonde's ear. "I'm so happy."

"Me too." Brittany said softly. She was on cloud 9. Not that long ago, she had been a simple waitress working at Joey's, too afraid to follow her dreams. She'd been so sad and lost, but then Santana had been there to pick her up and show her the way. "I can't believe this is really happening."'

Santana pressed another kiss to her neck but didn't say anything. They swayed from side to side in time to the music as Brittany softly sang along to the lyrics, like she always did when they danced together. It was her way of keeping herself grounded. Santana didn't mind at all. She loved hearing the blonde sing. It put her at ease.

They were unaware of what was happening around them, of the people that were watching them. It was just the two of them; loving and holding each other. Santana slowly ran her hand up and down Brittany's back. She never wanted this moment to end. She wanted to stay in Brittany's arms forever, where she felt safe. More safe than anywhere else.

Despite her wishes, the song faded out eventually and they slowly pulled back. Brittany smiled shyly as she reached up to gently stroke her fingers over Santana's cheek, wiping away the tears that had gathered underneath her eyes. Santana hadn't even realized that she was crying. She curled her fingers around Brittany's wrist to keep her hand in place as she leaned in to lightly brushed their lips together. Brittany sighed against her mouth before she applied more pressure, taking Santana's bottom lip between her own and nibbling gently.

They were interrupted when Santana felt a tap on her shoulder and she reluctantly broke the kiss. She turned around to see Martin standing there with a small smile on his face. "May I cut in?"

"Of course." Santana returned the smile, turning back to Brittany to peck her on the cheek. "I'll see you later, baby."

Brittany nodded and waited for Santana to walk away before taking her dad's hand. He put his other hand on her waist and she rested her head against his shoulder. A new song started to play and they began to move slowly. Brittany glanced at Santana over her dad's shoulder and smiled warmly when she saw that she was chatting with their friends. She knew that the brunette was a bit sad about her parents not being there and seeing her dance with her dad couldn't be easy for her. She admired how strong Santana was.

"I'm proud of you." Martin told his daughter.

Brittany blushed slightly and smiled. "Thanks dad."

* * *

Brittany's feet were tired and her whole body was aching by the end of the night. Santana's hand was clasped in her own, leading her outside where a car was waiting for them, past the smiling faces of their guests. She smiled back and muttered some words of thank you, stopping to hug her parents. After she had finished dancing with her father, Mike and her had taken over the dance floor and it had been fun to say the least. Mike had complimented her on her skills, to which she had thanked him shyly while blushing modestly.

They left the building and got in the car, their guests waving after them. Brittany cuddled up closely to Santana as the driver started the engine. She winced a bit as she moved but tried to cover it up as best as possible. Her scars felt tight and uncomfortable but she didn't want to complain and ruin the night. Santana still seemed to have noticed though because she squeezed her knee gently.

"Almost there, sweetie." She whispered while slowly caressing the blonde's thigh.

Brittany sighed and rested her head on Santana's shoulder. They had decided to spend their wedding night at a hotel. They would be going on their honeymoon next week because this would be the last week of the play and Brittany had to be home for it. After discussing it with Brittany, Santana had told Quinn about their wishes to go somewhere private. She hadn't gone in very great detail as to why, Brittany didn't feel comfortable with that, and luckily Quinn had understood. She had asked her father about it and it turned out that he had some friends in Florida who owned a beautiful beach house in a private area. They were okay with Brittany and Santana staying there for a small payment. Santana had hesitated at first, she felt a bit weird accepting such a nice gesture from people she didn't know at all, but she knew that it would make Brittany happy.

The car came to a stop and Brittany leaned over to give the driver some money. He smiled at her before saying, "Thank you, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce."

She blinked at the words before a grin slowly spread across her face. They got out of the car and she took Santana's hand in her own as they made their way inside the hotel. They checked in and got the key before taking the elevator up to their room; the honeymoon suite. Santana's mouth fell open when they stepped inside, dropping their overnight bags on the floor.

"Wow." Was all she managed to say as she took Brittany's hand, tugging her further inside. The room was huge and the view was beautiful. Santana could feel Brittany's eyes on her as she continued to look around bewildered. Brittany had insisted on arranging everything for their wedding night so she was completely surprised. "Britt, this must've cost a fortune."

"Don't worry about that." Brittany said, leading her over to the bed. Her parents had helped pay for it as their wedding gift. "I want tonight to be perfect."

Santana smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. "Let's get out of these dresses first, okay?"

Brittany nodded and waited until Santana had turned around before gently unzipping her dress and helping her out of it. She briefly pressed her lips against the brunette's shoulder. "You're so beautiful, San." She brushed Santana's hair aside and started a slow trail of kisses up her neck. "I'm so lucky to call you my wife."

Santana shuddered and closed her eyes, getting lost in the feeling of Brittany's delicate lips nibbling gently on the sensitive skin of her neck. After a moment, she forced herself to turn around and cupped Brittany's cheek, connecting their lips in a sweet kiss. Brittany smiled into it, tilting her head to the side to gain better access. Santana's hand glided up her neck and into her hair, scratching her scalp lightly as they kissed slowly.

Finally, Santana pulled back and watched as blue eyes slowly blinked open, pale cheeks now colored a light shade of pink. She smiled and smoothed her thumb down Brittany's jaw and over the corner of her mouth. She leaned in to sweetly kiss the tip of Brittany's nose as she dropped her hands down to the blonde's waist and slowly ran them up and down her sides. Brittany chewed on her bottom lip before turning around and allowing Santana to help her out of her dress as well.

Soon, Brittany was standing in nothing but her underwear, just like herself, and Santana moved to stand behind her. She rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder and gently ran her hands over her wife's abdomen, feeling the tension in her body. "What do you want to do tonight, baby?" She asked as her fingers tenderly massaged the area just below Brittany's belly button.

Brittany's brow furrowed. "Are you serious?"

"I can tell that you're uncomfortable." Santana said softly, nuzzling her nose against Brittany's cheek. "You're so tense."

A sigh escaped Brittany's lips and she turned around in Santana's arms. She unpinned Santana's hair, letting her dark curls fall down her shoulders as she rested her other hand just below the shorter woman's rib cage. "I refuse to let that ruin our night."

"Okay." Santana whispered, knowing there was no point in arguing Brittany on this. She wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and pulled her closer. "Why don't we take a bath together first?"

Brittany nodded.

"I'll get the water started." Santana said, leaning up slightly to peck Brittany on the lips.

Brittany waited until Santana had left the room before she took a seat and began to unbraid her hair. Fully exposing herself around Santana had gotten easier with time. She felt comfortable around Santana and her insecurities hardly ever got the best of her anymore. Inhaling deeply, she pushed herself into a standing position and slowly walked into the bathroom where Santana was waiting for her.

"Hi babe." Santana said, stepping closer to meet her halfway.

"Hey." Brittany grinned, reaching behind Santana's back to unclasp her bra. Santana let it slide off her arms and Brittany bit her lip when her wife's breasts were revealed. She slowly ran her hands up Santana's sides, tickling her skin, causing the brunette's breathing to grow shallow. "Will you help me with mine?"

Santana nodded eagerly and quickly unfastened Brittany's bra as well, assisting it off her body. Once they had gotten rid of their underwear as well, Santana guided Brittany into the tub and slid in behind her, the warm water embracing their bodies. Brittany leaned back against Santana's chest and Santana wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her tightly. Santana loved the feeling of their bare skin pressed so closely together, for some reason it made her feel safe.

Brittany sighed happily as Santana placed her hands on her shoulders, slowly massaging the tension out of her body. It were small moments like these, moments of peace and comfort, that she loved more than anything. They were together and that was all that mattered. She didn't feel the need to hide because she knew she could be vulnerable around Santana without getting hurt.

Her thoughts wandered back to when she had joined Santana in the shower a few weeks ago. It had been after she had almost had a panic attack during the thunderstorm. Santana had been able to prevent an actual panic attack and to the brunette that was an amazing thing in itself, but Brittany hadn't really looked at it from that point of view.

 _Brittany leaned against the counter in the kitchen, watching Santana move around. "Dinner was great. Thank you."_

 _Santana looked up at the sound of Brittany's voice, giving her a small smile. "No problem, Britt."_

 _"I'm sorry I forgot about the groceries." Brittany said quietly as she picked up a dish towel. "I must've been distracted."_

 _"You've been distracted for days, babe." Santana pointed out carefully, not wanting to risk upsetting Brittany when something was clearly already bothering her. Brittany didn't say anything so Santana sighed and turned around to face her, placing her hand on top of Brittany's to still her movements. "I think we should talk."_

 _"About what?" Brittany asked in a low voice, avoiding eye-contact at all costs._

 _"You know about what." Santana said, grabbing Brittany's other hand as well. She swung their hands back and forth between them, trying to gather her thoughts. "You've been acting strange ever since the night of the thunderstorm and I want to know why that is." She gave Brittany's hands a soft squeeze and waited until blue eyes hesitantly met hers before adding, "Talk to me."_

 _"I…" Brittany started but then hesitated, her eyes flickering down again. "It's nothing."_

 _"Tell me."_

 _"Just let it go." Brittany slightly raised her voice._

 _Santana clenched her jaw angrily and let go of Brittany's hands. "How is our marriage ever going to work if you don't talk to me?"_

 _Brittany's eyes widened in fear. "Santana…"_

 _"Just… save it." Santana interrupted her, holding up her hand to emphasize her words. She shook her head and abruptly turned around on her heels. "I'll go take a shower."_

 _"San…" Brittany tried again but it was already too late. She watched helplessly as Santana stormed out of the kitchen, slumping against the counter with tears welling up in her eyes. She felt horrible for making Santana feel this way, especially since she had given Santana a hard time about her lack of communication in the past. A tear escaped her eye and rolled down her cheek as she thought back to her session with Dr. Hill a few days prior._

 _..._

 _"I should be better by now!" Brittany exclaimed loudly, slamming her hands down on the arms of the chair she was sitting in. Dr. Hill watched her silently and didn't so much as blink at her outburst, which only frustrated her more. "Why am I still not better?"_

 _"You are doing better." Dr. Hill stated calmly. "Look at all the progress you've made."_

 _"I'm a grown woman." Brittany said through clenched teeth, fingers digging into the leather of the chair. "I'm a grown woman that's scared of thunder. Santana had to hold me all night to keep me from having a panic attack. How embarrassing."_

 _Dr. Hill sighed sadly. "Your fears will probably never completely disappear, Brittany, but we can make them manageable."_

 _Brittany's shoulders slumped in defeat. "Maybe that's not good enough."_

 _"For you or for the people around you?" Dr. Hill questioned, his eyes boring into hers until she looked down at her lap. "You've come a long way and that's something to be proud of. Stop being so hard on yourself. You don't have to prove anything to anyone."_

 _Brittany looked at him thoughtfully. "Well… I guess you have a point."_

" _You went through a traumatic experience, Brittany. That will never change. But did you hear what you just told me? You didn't have a panic attack. You managed to get through the storm without needing your medication. You're making wonderful progress and you should be proud of yourself. Focus on the positives."_

… _._

 _Santana sighed contentedly as the warm water and hot steam of the shower enveloped her. She was just about to grab the bottle of shampoo when the sound of the shower door sliding open made her jump. She turned around and her features softened when her eyes met wide blue ones. Confusion washed over her when she realized that Brittany was naked._

 _"Can I join you?" Brittany asked shakily, her arms wrapped around her torso protectively. She was visibly shivering. Santana couldn't tell whether it was from the cold or something else._

 _Too stunned to speak, she nodded and stepped backwards to give Brittany some room. Brittany had never joined her for a shower before. The only times she fully exposed herself to Santana was in the bedroom. She watched as Brittany carefully stepped under the spray of water, her shoulders hunched, and a wave of protectiveness surged through her body._

 _"Are you okay?" She asked softly as she moved closer to Brittany, her hand reaching up to gently cup the taller woman's cheek. Brittany shyly gazed back at her and smiled weakly, nodding. Santana was silent for a moment, smoothing her thumb over the apple of Brittany's cheek. "Are you sure?"_

 _Brittany nodded again. She inhaled deeply before whispering, "I'm sorry."_

" _What's going on, Britt?"_

" _I was embarrassed because of the thunderstorm." Brittany admitted, avoiding Santana's eyes like someone who had just been caught stealing. Santana smiled softly, her anger and frustration momentarily forgotten. "I talked about it with Dr. Hill and he kind of gave me a reality check. He said that I'll probably always have these fears. We can make them manageable, they've already gotten a lot better, but it's not realistic to expect for them to disappear completely."_

 _Santana brushed the hair out of Brittany's face. "And you're upset because you had other expectations?"_

" _I was hoping that my fears would disappear." Brittany told her quietly, looking a bit mad at herself. "But Dr. Hill also made some good points about how the fact that I didn't have a panic attack is already great progress. I guess I was just being too hard on myself."_

" _Dr. Hill is right." Santana said. "You haven't had a panic attack or a nightmare in quite a long time. Just because the storm scared you doesn't mean that you shouldn't still be proud of yourself."_

" _I guess so." Brittany pouted a bit. "Remember when you told me that it was okay to be angry with the world sometimes? Well I guess I was having one of those moments."_

 _Santana chuckled, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer. "It_ is _totally okay."_

" _I'm sorry for being distant. I was just trying to get my thoughts in order. But I should've told you."_

" _Thanks for apologizing." Santana said as she turned Brittany around in her arms. Santana pressed a kiss to her shoulder before resting her chin on it, tightening her arms around her waist. They should there like that for a long time, Santana hugging Brittany from behind, their bodies pressed together, as the warm water cascaded over them_

"Feel good?" Santana murmured as her hands moved up and down Brittany's back in long strokes, pulling Brittany back to reality.

Brittany let out a small noise of approval, her eyes closed. "Thank you for always taking care of me."

"You don't have to thank me, Britt." Santana said, brushing Brittany's hair over one shoulder to press a lingering kiss to the back of her neck. "I just want you to be happy, always."

"I'm more than happy right now." Brittany replied as she turned her head to capture Santana's lips in a quick kiss. "Today was perfect."

"It really was." Santana said with a smile, running her hands down Brittany's arms, urging her to lean back against her again. Brittany relaxed in her embrace and Santana rested her hands on her wife's stomach, rubbing random patterns over the scarred skin with her thumbs. "I love being able to call you my wife." She paused, suddenly feeling shy, before adding. "It just makes me so happy."

Brittany's eyes sparkled as she grinned, covering Santana's hands with her own. "I know what you mean."


	29. Chapter 29

_Only one chapter left after this one._

 **Chapter 29.**

Half an hour later, Santana watched as Brittany stood in the middle of the room, looking uncertain of what to do next. They both still had nothing but a towel wrapped around their bodies. Santana put down the hairbrush she had been using and stood up, running her hand through her hair as she approached her wife.

"Relax." She whispered as she came to a stop directly in front of the blonde, taking both of her hands in her own. Brittany sighed and tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes flickering down to the floor. "What are you thinking about?"

"I just want tonight to be perfect." Brittany admitted in a soft voice.

"And it will be." Santana said, tucking a few strands of hair behind Brittany's ear. "Making love to you is always perfect because it's with you and you're the love of my life. Being with you is more natural than breathing."

Brittany nodded slowly. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for anything. I'm really happy that you talked to me about this, Britt. You kept your promise and I appreciate that more than anything."

"I don't want to let my insecurities win again." Brittany said shyly with a shrug of her shoulders. "I don't want to hurt you again."

Santana smiled but decided to remain silent. Her gaze never left Brittany's as she slowly leaned in. Her heartbeat sped up a little when she placed her other hand on Brittany's cheek as well. Suddenly there was no space left and their noses brushed together before their lips collided. Brittany immediately relaxed into the contact, placing her hands on Santana's hips and kissing her back just as eagerly. Santana let out a small moan, happy that all tension seemed to have left Brittany's body.

Brittany didn't think she'd ever get over how good it felt to kiss Santana. It was better than anything she could ever imagine. Santana's lips were soft and gentle, moving against her own as if they were made to fit. Santana's fingers trailed up the spine of Brittany's neck, playing with the soft hair at the base, and Brittany smiled into the kiss. She angled her head to the side and swiped her tongue across Santana's bottom lip, requesting entry. Santana obliged and she couldn't help but whimper softly when their tongues brushed against each other.

She pushed Brittany backwards until the blonde's legs hit the edge of the bed and she fell back on it, pulling Santana with her. Santana pulled away from Brittany's lips and started to trail kisses down her neck, sucking on the skin and swirling her tongue over it. Brittany let out a soft moan, "Feels good."

Santana smiled and lifted her head to capture Brittany's lips with her own again. Brittany reached for Santana's warm hand and held it tightly in her own, intertwining their fingers. A shiver tore through her frame when Santana placed her free hand on her thigh, her fingertips grazing the hem of her towel. The brunette lightly bit down on Brittany's bottom lip before releasing it and pulling back to meet Brittany's eyes. Brittany smiled shyly, her cheeks flushed, before raising Santana's hands to her lips, tenderly kissing the ring around her finger. "I love you so much."

Santana gently brushed her knuckles over Brittany's cheek, leaning down to give her a simple kiss. "I love you too." She whispered against pink lips that quivered slightly when her hot breath ghosted over them. Her heart was racing in her chest, Brittany was looking at her with nothing but adoration, as if she was the only thing that mattered in the world and it made her feel so lucky. Her lips lightly skimmed Brittany's again, but instead of kissing her, she gently grazed her mouth over her cheek, up to her ear. Her hand moved higher up Brittany's thigh, moving dangerously close to where Brittany needed her the most, causing Brittany to whimper softly. She pulled Brittany's earlobe between her teeth and gave it a light tug before whispering, "Can I?"

Brittany nodded quickly. Santana always touched her in all the right places and she was already so aroused, as embarrassing as it was. A groan of frustration left her lips when Santana's hands moved up her body, stopping at her breasts to cup them gently over the material of the towel. Brittany arched into the touch and Santana stifled her moan of pleasure by capturing her lips in a heated kiss, their tongues clashing together.

The movements of Brittany's lips faltered slightly when she felt Santana unwrap her towel and the brunette pulled back to look at her.

"You okay?" She asked softly, placing a kiss on the area between Brittany's eyes and then another one on the tip of her nose for good measure.

Brittany found herself nodding without hesitation, smiling shyly to let her know it was okay to continue. Santana returned the smile and slowly unwrapped Brittany's towel, waiting patiently for Brittany to lift her hips off the bed before removing it completely. She pressed a kiss to Brittany's cheek and exhaled softly against it. "You're beautiful."

Brittany's face turned a light shade of red and her lips parted slightly as she curled her fingers around Santana's towel, tugging impatiently. "Take it off."

Santana smirked but did as requested, sitting up to unwrap the towel before blindly tossing it across the room. Brittany shuddered, immediately missing the warmth of Santana's body on top of herr.

"I'm here." Santana whispered tenderly.

"I know." Brittany breathed out, craning her neck to press a kiss to Santana's lips.

Santana kissed her back for a moment before she broke away and started to place kisses along the blonde's jawline, nipping lightly on the pale skin, careful not to leave any marks. Her hands found Brittany's breasts and she gently started to massage the flesh, feeling Brittany's nipples harden under her touch. Brittany let out a shuddering breath, her hips bucking up on instinct, desperately looking for some friction, as another whimper escaped her lips. Santana shushed her with a kiss as one of her hands slowly glided down her stomach. "What do you want, baby?"

Brittany gasped when Santana's hand found its way between her legs, cupping her gently. Her eyes fluttered shut as her hips continued to buck up, her thoughts barely coherent through the haze in her mind. "P-Please…"

"Tell me." Santana husked, her lips grazing the sensitive skin just below Brittany's ear. "Tell me what you want."

"You, inside." Brittany whimpered desperately, her eyes squeezed shut so tightly that she thought they would explode. "Please Santana."

Deciding to take pity on her wife, Santana slid her fingers through Brittany's folds, gathering as much wetness as possible before coming up to her clit to rub small circles over it, applying just the right amount of pressure. Brittany's jaw dropped slightly, her breathing speeding up, her cheeks flushed with arousal. Santana alternated between fast and slow circles, building Brittany up and then slowing down again, making Brittany groan in frustration, until her movements stilled altogether.

"San!" Brittany whined, desperate for release.

"Look at me." Santana demanded, brushing their noses together before kissing her softly on the lips. Brittany took a deep breath as she slowly blinked her eyes open, her blue orbs a shade darker than usual. Santana felt her own arousal build as she took in Brittany's disheveled appearance and she bit down harshly on her bottom lip. Her fingers started to move again, exploring Brittany's folds as if it was their first time together. "You're so wet."

Brittany nodded frantically, circling her arms around Santana's neck and lightly digging her nails into the other woman's shoulders to urge her on. Not wanting to torture Brittany any longer, Santana ran her fingers down the blonde's slit and to her entrance. She circled it a few times, not being able to resist teasing Brittany just a little bit longer, before finally plunging two fingers inside. Brittany let out a deep, satisfied moan as her walls clenched tightly around the intrusion, already dangerously close to the edge.

" _Yes."_ Brittany groaned, throwing her head back as Santana found a rhythm, her thrusts deep and slow. Santana kept a steady pace, curling her fingers with each strong pump of her hand, as Brittany rolled her hips so that she was basically riding her. She watched her wife's reactions carefully, feeling the trembling of her body against her, blue eyes struggling to stay open. Santana lowered her head to Brittany's breast and sucked her nipple into her mouth, flicking her tongue over it. A shuddering moan escaped Brittany's throat and she tangled her fingers into Santana's hair. "Baby, I-I…"

Santana could tell that Brittany was close by the way her walls kept fluttering around her fingers. She pulled back to meet Brittany's eyes as she flicked her thumb over the blonde's clit, making her gasp in surprise. It only took a few more thrusts before Brittany froze, her features contorting in pleasure as she was send over the edge. "S-Santana!"

Santana felt more wetness pool between her legs at the sound of Brittany choking out her name. She gently helped her ride out her orgasm until her body finally stilled. Santana slowly removed her fingers, now coated in Brittany's juices, and brought them to her lips, licking them clean. "God Britt."

Brittany watched her with hooded eyes, her chest heaving rapidly as she tried to catch her breath. A few moments passed, Santana watching her intently, before she curled her hand around the back of Santana's neck and pulled her down, bringing their lips together in a lazy kiss. She placed her hands on Santana's shoulders and suddenly flipped them over, effectively breaking their kiss. Brown eyes clouded over as Brittany's lips moved down to her neck.

"It's my turn to taste." She murmured lowly, her words vibrating against Santana's smooth skin.

"Oh fuck." Santana groaned as Brittany's mouth started to make its way down her body, stopping at her collarbone and firmly biting down on it. She placed her hands on Brittany's sweaty back, holding her closely as she continued to manipulate her body in the best possible ways. Brittany's tongue darted out and licked a slow trail down the valley of Santana's breasts, as she pressed her thigh between the brunette's legs. Santana gasped in response. "Fuck, Britt, I need you so bad."

Brittany let her teeth scrape over Santana's abs as she continued to move down, pausing briefly to press a sweet kiss to the scar that ran across her abdomen. She smiled when she felt the muscles flex under her touch, her eyes flickering up to meet Santana's dark ones. Santana brought her hand to her hair and brushed a few strands away from her face, tucking them behind her ears. Brittany felt a warm feeling course through her veins. She spread Santana's legs and continued to move down until Santana's intoxicating scent invaded her senses. She automatically licked her lips as she eyed Santana's glistening center.

Santana's fingers tightened in her wife's hair as she waited impatiently for her to do something. The blonde started to place kisses on the insides of Santana's thighs until she was practically whimpering underneath her. Finally, she leaned in to place a kiss on Santana's clit. Santana breathed out a sigh of frustration. "Don't tease."

Brittany considered calling her out on the teasing she had made her go through not that long ago but she couldn't bring herself to care about that with her lying underneath her, completely exposed and vulnerable, begging to be touched. Santana was about to complain again but her words died on her lips when she felt Brittany's warm tongue slide through her folds. She inhaled sharply and arched her back, not being able to stop her hips from bucking up. Brittany allowed her to thrust against her face for a few moments, moaning into her heated flesh, before she placed her arm over Santana's hips to keep her still.

" _Please._ " Santana whimpered as Brittany circled her entrance. Brittany groaned as she collected the brunette's wetness on her tongue before moving up again, up her slit and over her clit. She stroked Santana's clit softly, feeling the other woman's thighs quiver against the sides of her head, before she moved down again. Santana threw her arm over her face when Brittany plunged her tongue inside, muffling a scream.

Brittany thrust in and out of her for a while, slowly building her up, and Santana almost cried when she felt her pull out. It turned into a moan when Brittany wrapped her lips around her clit and sucked eagerly. The coil in her stomach tightened and she knew she wouldn't be able to last much longer. To double her pleasure, Brittany eased two fingers into her entrance and she lost it almost immediately. A particular well-aimed thrust and Brittany's teeth grazing over her clit was all she needed and she came with a broken scream of Brittany's name, her body convulsing. Brittany quickly replaced her fingers with her tongue and licked up everything Santana had to offer.

Santana collapsed back on the bed with a satisfied sigh, lazily stroking her fingers through Brittany's hair as the taller woman slowly kissed her way up her stomach. She pressed a sweet kiss to Santana's lips and another one to her sweaty brow before she snuggled against her wife, resting her hand on her abs that were still quivering slightly. Santana smiled contentedly and wrapped her arms around Brittany, holding her as closely as possible. "That was perfect."

"You're perfect." Brittany murmured, burying her face into the curve of Santana's neck.

Santana stroked her hand up and down Brittany's back, lulling her into a state of absolute peace.

* * *

The next morning, Santana woke up the feeling of her sides being tickled and sloppy kisses being placed all over her face. She groaned and rolled over, throwing her arm over her eyes. She felt soft lips graze the skin of her cheek before a delicate kiss was pressed to the corner of her mouth. "Good morning." Brittany whispered.

Forcing her eyelids open, Santana looked up at Brittany who was hovering over her with a beaming smile on her face. She couldn't help but smile too, reaching up to gently cup Brittany's cheek. "Good morning, honey."

"We're married." Brittany stated with a grin, tilting her head in the most adorable way.

"We're married." Santana echoed happily, sliding her hand behind Brittany's neck to pull her down. Brittany got the message and captured her lips in a kiss, moaning softly in approval. They pulled back and Santana ran her thumb over the area just below Brittany's ear as she looked into bright blue eyes that seemed to sparkle a bit more than usual. "Yesterday felt like a dream."

"I know." Brittany mumbled, shifting to lie half on top of Santana. She sighed happily and placed her hands on Santana's chest, resting her chin on them. "I wish we could stay here forever."

Santana hummed in agreement and ran her hand through Brittany's hair, twirling the ends around her fingers. "Are you excited to go to Florida next week?" Brittany simply nodded before she kissed Santana's chin. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and chewed on it thoughtfully, cuddling even closer to Santana and tangling their legs together. Santana gently scratched Brittany's back to get her attention. "Are you worried about wearing a bathing suit?"

Brittany thought back to when they had discussed their honeymoon.

 _Santana rolled over so that she was lying on top of Brittany. Her eyes met clear blue ones as she stared down at Brittany and she smiled softly. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."_

 _"What is is?" Brittany asked, bringing her hand to Santana's head to gently stroke her hair._

 _Santana placed a kiss under Brittany's jaw, eliciting a shiver from the blonde. "Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?" Brittany's smile faltered and her brow furrowed in thought. Santana waited patiently but when Brittany still hadn't said anything after a few minutes, she continued. "I understand if you don't want to go to a sunny place. Maybe we can go on a city trip our something."_

 _"A city trip?" Brittany repeated her words in a low murmur. "But you love the sun."_

 _"I do but I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." Santana replied, moving to hover over her. Brittany's nose scrunched up in confusion and Santana couldn't stop herself from pressing a kiss to it, smiling in adoration. "I want both of us to enjoy ourselves, baby, and that won't happen if you'll be suffocating the entire time. The beach isn't really an option since you don't feel comfortable in swimwear." Brittany immediately glanced away, her face heating up, and Santana quickly added, "Which I don't blame you for."_

 _Brittany sighed and pulled the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. She twirled a strand of Santana's hair around her finger as she thought everything over. "I want it to be perfect for you." She finally said. "Can't we go somewhere where it's super private? If it's not too expensive?" Her eyes flickered to Santana's lips before she craned her neck to kiss her sweetly. "I think I'm okay with wearing a bathing suit in front of you."_

 _"Yeah?" Santana asked, a small smile forming on her lips._

 _Brittany nodded and curled her hand around the back of Santana's neck, pulling her into another kiss. They pulled apart and Santana lowered her head again, feeling Brittany's heart beat rapidly underneath her hands. She patted the area soothingly._

 _"We'll figure something out." She whispered reassuringly. She knew that a private resort would probably be really expensive but maybe she could call in some favors. "It'll be perfect as long as I'm with you."_

 _The corners of Brittany's eyes crinkled as she smiled widely. "Let's focus on the wedding first."_

 _"Yeah, let's do that." Santana agreed._

That's how the idea of the Fabray's private beach house had come into play.

Brittany blinked slowly before shaking her head. "I guess I'm kind of nervous about it but I trust you."

"You know you don't _have_ to do anything." Santana told her, her hand coming to a rest on Brittany's lower back. "I don't want you to push yourself to do something you're not comfortable with. I know that you've set this goal for yourself and you really want to go through with it but please remember that enjoying yourself is the most important thing."

"I know." Brittany said with a smile. "But I really think I can do it. I mean, I'm lying naked in your arms right now. A year ago, I never would've done that. We've taken showers together, and even a bath yesterday. I really want to learn how to be more comfortable with my body. Dr. Hill said that it's part of accepting everything that's happened and it might help with my anxiety too."

"That's good." Santana said. "I'm proud of you."

Brittany smiled shyly and pressed a kiss to her lips, holding the contact for a moment before pulling back. "What do you want to do today?"

"Oh I can think of something." Santana grinned mischievously as she cupped both of Brittany's cheeks before rolling her over. Brittany giggled but it was cut off by Santana's lips pressing firmly into hers. She let out a soft moan and parted her lips, granting her access. All coherent thoughts left her mind when Santana's hand slowly wandered down her body.

* * *

A few days later, Santana made her way inside the theater where Brittany was finishing up rehearsals. It was the last week of the show so the director had scheduled an extra group meeting to make sure that everything would go smoothly. Santana had agreed to pick Brittany up but since she was a bit early, she had texted her wife who had told her to meet her in her dressing room.

She easily found her way through the building since she had been there many times before, greeting the familiar people she walked past. She had almost reached Brittany's dressing room when she ran into Jasmine, one of the other dancers. "Hey Santana." The girl greeted her enthusiastically.

"Hi." Santana smiled as she slowed down to a stop. She wasn't really in the mood to talk to Jasmine, she just wanted to get to Brittany, but she decided to be polite. "How are you?"

"I'm great." Jasmine replied with a nod of her head. "A bit sad that the show is ending but everything has to come to an end eventually."

"Do you already have something new lined up?" Santana asked curiously.

"I've done a few auditions that I haven't heard back from yet so we'll see." Jasmine said with a shrug of her shoulders. Santana nodded and wished her good luck to which she smiled gratefully. A few moments of awkward silence passed before she spoke again. "So that was a bold move on Brittany's part." Santana's eyebrows pinched together in confusion so she explained. "Declining the offer to dance for such a large musical production. I'm assuming she has other plans?"

"Y-Yeah." Santana stuttered, utterly confused. She had no idea what Jasmine was talking about but she tried not to let her confusion show. She cleared her throat and sent a small smile in Jasmine's direction. "Well, Brittany's waiting for me so I've got to go."

"Okay, it was nice to see you." Jasmine called out after Santana who had already began to walk away. "Congratulations on your marriage, by the way."

Santana ignored her. She quickly made her way to Brittany's dressing room and knocked once before barging inside. Brittany, who was in the middle of packing her bag, startled and looked up with wide eyes. She smiled when she saw that it was Santana but her smile disappeared when she saw the look of anger on her wife's face. "What's wrong?"

"Do you have something to tell me?" Santana demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

Brittany swallowed and slowly approached Santana. She tentatively reached out to take Santana's hand in her own but the brunette shook her head and stepped backwards, silently telling her to stay away. A flash of hurt crossed Brittany's face. "What's going on?"

"I just talked to Jasmine." Santana replied in a stern voice. "She told me something interesting."

Realization flickered in Brittany's eyes and she hesitated for a moment before asking, "What was that?"

"What do you think?" Santana slightly raised her voice in frustration. Brittany averted her eyes in shame and Santana scoffed as she began to pace up and down the room, wildly gesturing with her hands. "Do you know how stupid I felt when I had no idea what musical production she was talking about? Were you planning on ever telling me?"

"San…" Brittany whispered, carefully taking a step closer.

"We've been married for less than a week, Britt." Santana said, letting her arms fall down her sides as she came to a stop. Brittany stared back at her with a guilty expression and a wave of sadness suddenly surged through Santana's body. "You're already keeping things from me. We're supposed to take decisions like this together."

"I know." Brittany said as she took another step in Santana's direction. She reached out to take Santana's hand in her own, holding on tightly when Santana tried to pull away. "Please Santana, just let me explain."

Santana sighed but nodded. "Okay."

"Thank you." Brittany let out a sigh of relief, leading Santana over to the small couch in the corner where they both sat down. She pulled Santana's hand into her lap and gently stroked her thumb over her knuckles. "First of all, I didn't mean to keep things from you. I only got offered this opportunity today and I was going to tell you as soon as you arrived here. I didn't know Jasmine would beat me to it."

"What opportunity exactly?"

"I got offered to dance in a musical that takes place in New York." Brittany said simply.

"Why did you say no before discussing it with me?" Santana asked in disbelief.

"Because I know you would've convinced me to go."

"Of course I would have." Santana said, slightly softening the tone of her voice. She gave Brittany's hand a soft squeeze, urging her to look up. Brittany tore her eyes away from the floor and reluctantly looked up into Santana's eyes, her cheeks colored red with guilt. Santana's anger lessened instantly, her protective side taking over instead. "Britt, why would you say no to an opportunity like that?"

"It's all the way in New York." Brittany replied.

"So?" Santana asked. "It would suck to be so far away from each other but it would only be temporary and so worth it. I want you to be happy and I know that dancing is what you love doing most. I would've understood."

"I didn't want to go so I said no." Brittany said, averting her gaze once more.

"But why?" Santana asked, desperate to understand. "You've been worried sick about not finding something new for weeks now and then you go and say no to an opportunity like that?"

"Because I got offered another opportunity." Brittany finally told her, glancing up to shyly meet her eyes again. Santana just stared back at her in confusion. "Mike contacted me. He talked to me about how hard it is for him to manage his studio while helping out at his father's restaurant at the same time. He asked me if I want to work for him at the studio and I said yes."

Santana was silent as she slowly processed Brittany's words. "What?"

"I know it's something completely different from what I'm doing now but I'll be dancing and that's all that really matters to me." Brittany said. "I want a stable job, Santana. Most importantly, I want to be close to you."

Santana felt herself relax and a small smile formed on her lips. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"I'm sure." Brittany said confidently. "I don't want to spend so much time away from you. I know we're still young but all I really want to do is settle down and…" She trailed off and swallowed, looking down to where she was nervously playing with Santana's fingers. "Start a family when we're both ready. Having a steady job is important for when we decide to have… a baby." She took a deep breath and looked at Santana again. "I'm sorry for not discussing it with you first. It won't happen again but I just couldn't pass up on this opportunity. Mike won't wait forever."

Santana felt butterflies erupt in her stomach. "God, I love you so much."

Brittany blushed furiously, taken aback by Santana's reaction, before a grin spread across her features. "So you're not mad?"

"No baby." Santana said as she leaned in to kiss her gently on the lips. She wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist and pulled her into a hug, sighing contentedly as she felt Brittany nuzzle her nose into the crook of her neck. She was surprised by how much had changed in the span of just a few days but she was mostly just happy that they had one less thing to worry about. "I can't wait to start this new journey with you."


	30. Chapter 30

_So here's the last chapter. I actually found the beginning of a sequel on my laptop and am thinking of continuing it if anyone is interested. Let me know! And again, thanks for reading :) Update: The first chapter of the sequel is now up!_

 **Chapter 30.**

"San, stop staring at me." Brittany mumbled, bobbing her head along to the music that filled the car. They had been on the road for a few hours now and would be arriving at the beach house soon. She couldn't wait to start her honeymoon with Santana. Her heartbeat sped up a bit every time she realized that her and Santana were actually married now. The whole thing felt like a dream. She could still feel Santana's eyes burn holes into the side of her head so she briefly looked up. "What?"

"Nothing." Santana said innocently, shrugging her shoulders. "I'm just really happy, that's all."

"Me too." Brittany replied with a small smile. "But stop staring."

Santana chuckled but did as she was told. She stretched her arms out above her head and shifted to get more comfortable. After being cramped up in the car for so long, she was exhausted and all she really wanted to do was relax on the beach with Brittany. She couldn't help but be slightly worried about that though. She didn't want Brittany to push herself.

Placing her hand on Brittany's knee, she gave it a gentle squeeze. "Do you want me to drive?"

"No, that's okay." Brittany told her. A wave of guilt surged through her body when she saw the tired look on Santana's face. It would've been a lot faster if they could've traveled by plane but Brittany didn't think she'd ever be able to do so again. Santana had assured her that she didn't blame her for it and that made her feel better. "You can go to sleep if you want to. It'll be a little while longer before we get there."

Santana nodded and leaned back in her seat before allowing her eyes to flutter shut.

She was awoken a while later by the feeling of Brittany gently brushing the hair away from her face. She groaned and forced her eyelids open, smiling tiredly when her eyes met bright blue ones. A yawn escaped her lips and Brittany smiled softly, waiting patiently until she could kiss her lightly on the lips. "We're here."

"Finally." Santana croaked out, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

They got out of the car and got their suitcases out of the trunk before making their way inside. The beach house was absolutely beautiful. It had two bedrooms, a living room, a bathroom and a kitchen. A wide window offered a beautiful view of the beach. Santana smiled widely and grabbed Brittany's hand, leading her through the door and into the living room. The walls were painted a light shade of blue. Everything was bright and open and it made Santana's heart swell with happiness.

"It's perfect." Brittany whispered from beside her.

Santana nodded and gave her a kiss on the cheek before letting go of her hand. She walked over to the window and gazed out over the sea, sighing happily. Brittany's arms wrapped around her waist from behind and she leaned into her, tilting her head back to bring their lips together in a simple kiss. Brittany rested her chin on her shoulder and Santana placed her hands on the blonde's arms, gently stroking her thumbs over her wrists. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." Brittany said softly. It was late in the afternoon and she was starting to become a bit hungry so she suggested, "Shouldn't we go to the supermarket to buy some food?"

"Yeah, good idea." Santana replied as she turned around in Brittany's arms. The owners of the beach house had given them directions on where the nearest supermarket was located in one of the emails they had send while discussing everything. "Why don't I go to the supermarket while you unpack?"

"Sounds perfect." Brittany murmured, placing one of her hands on Santana's cheek and pulling her into a kiss.

Santana sighed into it and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist, parting her lips when she felt Brittany's tongue dart out. They kissed lazily for a while before Santana slowly broke away, smiling lovingly when Brittany pouted in disapproval. She gave her one last peck on the lips before stepping out of her embrace. "I'll be right back."

"Okay." Brittany called after her.

She waited until she had heard the front door open and close before grabbing the handles of their suitcases and wheeling them towards the bedroom. It didn't take her long to unpack everything and put it in the closet that was standing in the corner of the room. She grabbed some fresh sheets that they had brought and quickly made up the bed. When she was done, she returned to the living room and it was only then that she realized how tired she was from the drive. She curled up on the couch and let her eyes drift shut.

* * *

"Honey, I'm home." Santana called out teasingly when she walked into the beach house, kicking the door shut behind her. She peeked her head around the corner of the living room and smiled when she saw that Brittany was curled up on the couch, fast asleep. She quickly carried the groceries into the kitchen and began to put them away.

After she was done, she took a quick shower and changed into some more comfortable clothes. Her wife still hadn't woken up when she returned to the living room so she took a seat on the edge of the couch and leaned down to press a kiss to her eyebrow that wasn't squashed into the cushion.

"Britt." She whispered, slipping her hand underneath Brittany's t-shirt and scratching gently. "Wake up."

Brittany let out a grumble of protest but slowly opened her eyes. A goofy smile spread across her features when her gaze landed on Santana. "Hi baby."

"Hey." Santana breathed out, returning the smile. She brought her hand up to Brittany's head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I'm going to fix us something to eat."

Brittany just stared back at her with droopy eyes. She laughed and leaned down to press another kiss to the blonde's forehead before getting off the couch. She made her way into the kitchen and started to prepare dinner. She was just finishing up when Brittany walked in, freshly showered.

"I feel bad for making you cook." She murmured as she walked up to Santana, giving her a brief kiss on the lips. "It's our honeymoon."

"First of all, you didn't make me do anything. I offered." Santana said, slipping her arms around her wife's waist. She nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose before placing a delicate kiss there. "And you know I don't mind cooking."

Brittany smiled to show her understanding but didn't say anything. They ate dinner in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying the view and each other's company. Santana always felt comfortable around Brittany. There were only a few people in her life that she trusted completely and Brittany was on the top of her list. There was just something about the blonde's presence that always put her at ease.

After they had finished eating, they cleaned everything up and settled on the couch again. They were both a bit tired so they decided to spend a quiet night at the beach house. They had brought some movies from home and Santana watched silently as Brittany put in one of the DVDs. She smiled when the blonde sat down next to her and waited until she was snuggled into her before wrapping an arm around her waist.

Santana had a hard time focusing with Brittany so close to her, her sweet scent invading her senses. After all this time, holding Brittany so close still caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach and she didn't think that would ever change. Instead of watching the movie, she found herself watching Brittany's reactions instead. The way her eyes lit up when something funny happened or the way her brow creased when something sad happened was just too endearing.

She brought her hand up and gently started to run her fingers through Brittany's soft, blonde locks. Brittany hummed in approval and cuddled even closer to her. Santana smiled, her entire body buzzing with happiness as she continued to lightly massage Brittany's scalp. She didn't stop, not even when Brittany's breathing evened out, indicating that she had fallen asleep.

She was certain that this week was going to be perfect.

* * *

The next morning, Brittany woke up to the sun shining brightly into the room. She tried to stretch but realized that she couldn't move because there was a warm body sprawled out on top of her. A smile found its way to her lips and she raised her fists to her eyes to tiredly rub the sleep out of them before slowly cracking them open. Santana's face was only inches away from her own, her lips slightly parted as her breaths tickled the skin of Brittany's neck.

She felt her heart expand in her chest, threatening to burst. Sometimes she still found it hard to believe that any of this was real, as if she could wake up any moment and be by herself again; lost and sad. It was strange to have so much happiness in her life after having felt nothing but emptiness for years. She wanted to capture and cherish every moment she spent with Santana. She wouldn't trade this feeling for the world.

She sighed and looked down at her wife's sleeping face. Her features were so calm and peaceful, her expression more delicate and vulnerable than Brittany had ever seen. Her hands were gentle as she brushed a strand of hair behind Santana's ear and tenderly traced her jawline with the pad of her thumb. She placed a soft kiss on her lips, smiling when her eyelids fluttered open, revealing brown orbs. "Good morning."

Santana mirrored the smile sleepily. "Good morning, beautiful." Brittany's cheeks instantly heated up at the compliment and she shyly averted her gaze away. Santana's smile widened; she loved the way her words still had so much effect on Brittany. She cupped the blonde's chin and turned her face back in her direction before kissing her softly. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long." Brittany replied softly. She looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table and her eyes widened. "We slept for a long time. It's almost noon."

"So? Yesterday was a long day." Santana said with a shrug. She rolled over and climbed out of bed, walking towards the window and drawing back the curtains. The sun was shining brightly. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth in thought before turning around to face Brittany who had gotten out of bed as well. "Do you want to check out the beach after breakfast?"

"Um, okay."

"Britt." Santana crossed the room and came to a stop in front of the blonde, placing her hands on her shoulders and gazing into ocean blue eyes that made her heart flutter every time. She could see the nerves in them and her features softened even more. "I've said this before and I'll say it again, you don't have to do anything."

"I know." Brittany said softly. "But I want to."

Santana nodded and leaned up slightly to press a kiss to her lips.

After they had finished eating breakfast, they decided to get changed into their swimwear. Santana felt a little sad when Brittany retreated into the bathroom to do so but she understood how hard this was for her so she didn't say anything about it. She probably just wanted some alone time and that was totally fine.

Santana put on her bikini and grabbed some towels. She also made sure to bring enough sunscreen. Skin that's been burned damages more easily so she knew that sunscreen and sun shielding had to become part of their daily routine when they were out in the sun this much. Brittany was still in the bathroom after she had gathered everything and she started to become a little worried.

She knocked on the bathroom door and called out softly, "Britt?"

"Almost done." Brittany called back after a moment of silence and Santana could hear the tremble in her voice.

The brunette stepped back and waited patiently until the door slowly creaked open. Brittany stepped out, her face pale and eyes downcast, holding her clothes in front of her in a bundle.

"Are you okay?"

Brittany nodded unsurely. Her eyes slowly moved up and down Santana's body, taking in every inch. She was wearing a black bikini, showing off her toned stomach. Brittany's eyes lingered on Santana's chest a little longer than necessary and she swallowed thickly. "Wow." Her eyes snapped back up to brown ones when she realized that she was leering and her cheeks tinted pink. "You look beautiful."

Santana smiled and stepped closer to her, placing her hand on her arm. "So do you."

"You haven't even seen me yet." Brittany mumbled, her face falling into an unhappy frown.

Santana smiled softly and covered Brittany's hands with her own, squeezing gently in reassurance. The taller woman took a deep breath before she loosened her hold and allowed Santana to remove the bundle of clothes. She clenched her hands into fists and let her arms fall down her sides. "I don't like the way I look."

"Well, I do." Santana said as she dropped the clothes on a chair. "I know that this is hard for you but please just trust me. You look perfect."

Brittany's eyes flickered down to her own body. She was wearing a one-piece bathing suit that was sky blue. It covered most of her scars but left the ones on her upper legs on full display. She shifted uncomfortably. "I'm not sure about this, San."

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

Brittany hesitated for a second but then slowly shook her head.

"When I look at you, I see a woman who's exceedingly strong. I see a woman who's been hurt, a woman who's been through so much pain, but yet never gave up. I see a woman who fought for her dreams, despite her fears." She paused to make sure that she had Brittany's full attention before adding, "When I look at you, I see the love of my life." Tears of happiness abruptly sprang to Brittany's eyes and Santana was quick to wipe them away. "I won't think any less of you if you decide that you don't want to do this, Britt. Just know that I'm already so incredibly proud of you."

"Thank you." Brittany whispered, smiling shakily. "I want to do this."

"Okay." Santana said, curling her hand around the back of Brittany's neck and pulling her into a kiss. She pulled her wife's bottom lip between her teeth and nibbled on it for a second before releasing it and pulling away. She pressed a sweet kiss to Brittany's cheek as the blonde's eyes slowly fluttered open. "I'll bring the parasol, can you bring the towels?"

Brittany nodded and grabbed the towels before following Santana outside to their private little slice of beach. Brittany spread the towels on the sand as Santana set up the parasol. Once the brunette was finished, she grabbed the sunscreen and turned to Brittany. Her smile dropped when she noticed the nervous look on the blonde's face, her eyes darting around.

She stepped closer to her and took her wife's hand in her own. "Hey, there's no one here besides us. No one can see you."

"Are you sure?" Brittany asked, tightening her grip on Santana's hand.

"Yes, I'm sure." Santana said confidently, stroking her thumb over Brittany's knuckles soothingly, feeling her wife relax slightly at the touch. "Let me help you with the sunscreen. You need to be careful."

Brittany nodded with a smile and sat down on one of the towels. She loved how thoughtful Santana always was. She appreciated it more than anything. Santana sat down next to her and gently applied some sunscreen to her face first. She then leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose, getting an adorable giggle from Brittany in return. She placed her hand on the back of Santana's neck and pulled her into a kiss. Santana let out a soft moan and ran her hands down Brittany's arms, her body instantly surrendering to Brittany's touch.

"Britt." Santana murmured against Brittany's lips before she reluctantly broke away. "Let's get this sunscreen on you. I don't want you to burn, babe."

Brittany lay down on her stomach and Santana straddled her hips before she gently began to apply sunscreen to her shoulders. She brushed Brittany's hair aside and Brittany let out a sigh of contentment as Santana began to trail kisses up her neck. A shudder rippled through her frame when the brunette pulled her earlobe between her teeth and lightly bit down on it.

"Santana." Brittany squirmed as Santana sucked on the sensitive skin just below her ear.

Santana smirked and started to apply sunscreen to the backs of Brittany's thighs. She then instructed Brittany to turn around and continued to rub the sunscreen onto every part of Brittany's skin that she had access too. By the time she was done, Brittany had her eyes closed and all tension had left her body. Santana moved to hover over her and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "All done."

Brittany slowly opened her eyes. "Thank you. Let me do you now."

"Wanky." Santana mumbled with a grin.

Brittany rolled her eyes and waited until Santana was lying down before grabbing the sunscreen and straddling her.

* * *

A few hours later, Santana was found herself sitting on the edge of the bed, watching as Brittany moved around the room. They had just both taken a shower and were now getting ready for bed.

Santana took a deep breath, trying to prepare herself for what she was about to ask Brittany. Nerves bubbled up inside of her and she suddenly wondered if she was about to make a huge mistake. She knew that Brittany was sometimes insecure when it came to sex, constantly wondering if she wasn't disappointing Santana in some way, and Santana didn't want to ruin all the progress they had made. She just wanted to try something new but not if Brittany wouldn't be comfortable with it.

"San?" Brittany called out softly, noticing the distracted look on Santana's face. She walked closer to her wife and gently ran her fingers through her long, dark locks. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Santana mumbled, enjoying the feeling of Brittany's slender fingers slowly combing through her hair. She sighed and wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist, pulling her closer until the blonde got the message and slid onto her lap sideways. "I want to ask you something."

"Okay." Brittany said as she curled her hand around the back of Santana's neck, playing with the hair at the base. She tilted her head down in an attempt to catch Santana's gaze but the other woman was avoiding eye-contact. Brittany frowned in concern and briefly pressed her lips to Santana's forehead, trying to soothe her. "What is it?"

"I-I…" Santana began but trailed off, fidgeting nervously. She was suddenly convinced that this was a horrible idea. Her eyes hesitantly met Brittany's blue ones and the warmth she saw in them calmed her a bit but not enough for her to bring up the courage to speak her mind "Forget it."

"Baby." Brittany murmured, bringing her hand to Santana's cheek to caress the soft skin. "Please tell me."

Santana let out another sigh and pulled Brittany closer, burying her face in the crook of her wife's neck. Brittany's fingers resumed their soothing pattern through her hair and she relaxed slightly. She finally blurted out, "I want to try something new."

"Something new?" Brittany echoed questioningly after a moment of silence. Santana simply nodded. Brittany smiled and pulled back, cradling both of Santana's cheeks in her hands. She waited until brown eyes met hers before speaking again. "You're going to have to explain, San."

Santana exhaled sharply in frustration, this wasn't going as planned. Since when was she so shy about these things? "I'll show you."

Brittany nodded, confused, and slid off her lap. She took a seat on the bed and followed Santana with her eyes as she walked over to where her suitcase was standing. Her confusion doubled when the brunette pulled out a box. "What's that and how did I miss it while unpacking?"

"I made sure to hide it well." Santana said quietly as she slowly approached Brittany.

Brittany's eyes zoomed in on the box before they flickered back up to Santana's face. "Santana, you're starting to scare me a little."

"It's nothing bad." Santana reassured her, even though she wasn't so sure of that anymore. She hesitated for a moment but then decided to just go for it before she would lose her nerve. She shoved the box in Brittany's hands before taking a step backwards. "Open it."

Brittany stared at the box for a moment before she slowly took the lid off. Her eyes widened slightly when the item inside was revealed.

"A strap-on?" She couldn't deny that the thought had crossed her mind before but she hadn't thought Santana would want to try one. A few moments of silence passed as Brittany tried to gather her thoughts. There were a million things running through her mind and her stomach clenched uncomfortably as one of her biggest fears rose from deep within her. "Is this… Are you not happy? With our sex life?"

"What? No. Of course I am." Santana rushed out, taking a seat next to Brittany. This was exactly what she had been afraid of, especially after Brittany had voiced her concerns to her not that long ago. "This isn't because I'm not happy or satisfied because I certainly am. I just think it would be really hot. I love the thought of being inside of you, holding you in both of my arms, watching as you come undone." When Brittany still hadn't said anything, she started to backtrack. "But it's okay if you don't want to do this. It was just an idea."

"Wait." Brittany said when Santana moved to get up, placing her hand on her thigh. Santana settled back down and looked at her expectantly. "I never said that I don't want to try this." Brittany looked at the box in her lap again. "When did you buy this?"

"Last week." Santana said, awkwardly scratching the back of her head. "When you were at work."

"And you want to wear it?"

"Well, that's the idea." Santana admitted shyly.

"And I can wear it too sometime, right?" Brittany asked, letting their eyes meet again. Santana was definitely open to the idea. She nodded sheepishly and Brittany shot her a smile. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." Brittany said again, smiling when excitement flickered in Santana's eyes. She moved closer to the brunette so that they're thighs were touching and leaned closer until their noses were almost touching. "You're cute when you're nervous."

Santana narrowed her eyes in protest and Brittany chuckled in amusement. She brought her hand to Santana's cheek and slowly closed the remaining distance between them. Santana closed her eyes as she felt Brittany's breath tickling her skin. Ever so gently, their lips brushed together in a short, sweet kiss. Before Brittany had the chance to pull away, however, Santana encircled the blonde's waist with her arms and captured her lips with her own once more, kissing her deeper this time.

Brittany moaned softly, completely losing the ability to think clearly. Santana pushed Brittany back against the bed, breaking their kiss in the process, and the younger woman shifted to lie on her back. Santana pressed her hips against Brittany's and crashed their lips together again, her tongue seeking her wife's frantically. As their tongues met in a heated battle, Santana placed her hands on either side of Brittany's head, trapping her completely.

Brittany slowly ran her hands down Santana's sides, dropping them to her ass to pull her even closer. She didn't want to waste any more time. She needed to feel Santana all over. Santana's touch sent tingles through her entire body and the feeling of arousal was already beginning to overwhelm her. A moan left her lips when Santana grinded their clothed centers together and she moved her hands to the brunette's hips, holding on tightly and guiding her movements.

"San." She whimpered in between kisses. Her eyes closed on their own accord when Santana's lips traveled down her neck, finding her pulse point with ease. She let out a trembling breath, distracted by the feeling of Santana's lips on her skin, and struggled to form a coherent sentence. "San, I-I need you."

Santana couldn't deny that request. She quickly brought her hands to the hem of Brittany's oversized t-shirt and started to tug it upwards. She placed kisses on Brittany's jaw, lightly nipping on the pale skin, before she pulled back to meet the blonde's eyes. After receiving the smile of assurance that she always waited for, she slowly removed the item of clothing and dropped it on the floor next to the bed. Her breath hitched when her wife's breasts were revealed, nipples already hard and begging to be touched. She flattened her hands against Brittany's flat stomach as her eyes flickered up to blue ones.

Brittany flashed her a smile to show her appreciation. Santana was always so patient with her, looking at her with such intensity, and it made her feel so special. Santana's hands slowly started to move over her skin, lightly tickling her ribcage, until she gently cupped her breasts in her palms. Brittany shivered when Santana started to massage her breasts, her breathing speeding up. Santana leaned down to decorate Brittany's collarbone with kisses and love bites, leaving small marks on the delicate skin.

Brittany curled her fingers around the hem of Santana's t-shirt and tugged impatiently. "Get this off you."

Santana smirked at Brittany's eagerness and quickly pulled her t-shirt over her head. She then leaned down again, their bare breasts rubbing against each other, and pressed their lips together in another kiss. Brittany wrapped her legs around Santana's waist, smoothly rocking their hips together, eliciting a gasp from her wife. Her kisses became more sloppy as pleasure coursed through her body and she was forced to tear her lips away from Brittany's thin ones to release a moan. She let her lips graze the skin of Brittany's cheek as she moved down, sucking on the skin just below her ear.

"Fuck." Brittany groaned, throwing her head back. She bucked her hips up harder, desperate to relieve the ache between her legs. Santana's fingers glided down her stomach, lightly scratching her skin, until she reached her shorts. Brittany quickly lifted her hips off the bed, watching impatiently as Santana dragged the material down her long legs along with her panties. The shorter woman moved to hover over her again, nudging her nose with her own before pressing a kiss to her slightly swollen lips.

"Let's get you ready." She whispered against Brittany's mouth.

Brittany inhaled deeply and nodded in agreement. Santana lifted her hand to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear, getting a smile of adoration in return. She gazed into Brittany's eyes for a moment, feeling her heartbeat speed up at the trust she saw in them, before she allowed her hands to roam over Brittany's body again. She found Brittany's clit with ease, lightly letting her fingers graze over it.

"San..." Brittany whined impatiently, pushing her body into Santana's touch.

Santana soothed her with a sweet kiss to the lips as she started to rub small, slow circles over the bundle of nerves that was throbbing beneath her finger. Brittany inhaled sharply and pulled Santana firmly against her, burying her face against her shoulder. Santana's lips attached to the side of her neck, sucking gently, as she sped up her circles, causing Brittany to let out a moan of pleasure.

"Inside." She whimpered, her eyes screwed shut.

Santana slid her fingers up and down Brittany's folds, gathering the wetness she found there, before coming to a stop at her entrance. She gently eased two fingers inside, exhaling against Brittany's neck at the feeling of tight walls clenching around her. Brittany was always so tight, no matter how many times they'd had sex, and for some reason she seemed even tighter tonight with the goal of using the strap-on. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Do you think you'll be able to take it all, baby?"

Brittany didn't respond, far too lost in the feeling of pleasure that was coursing through her body as Santana moved in and out of her at a steady pace. Her hips thrust up into her wife's hand, matching her rhythm. Santana flicked her thumb over Brittany's clit, relishing in how smooth and warm she felt, and slowed her thrusts as she gently added a third finger.

The movements of Brittany's hips faltered slightly as she adjusted to the extra intrusion, her walls pulsating around Santana's fingers. Santana pressed a lingering kiss to the corner of her mouth, waiting patiently. Finally, Brittany started to squirm underneath her and Santana took this as a sign that it was okay to continue. Santana started off with a slow pace and soon enough Brittany was panting heavily. She moaned every time Santana curled her fingers, hitting a particularly sensitive spot deep inside, and the brunette could tell that she was close.

"No." Brittany whined in protest when Santana pulled out, slowly opening her eyes.

Santana smiled softly and leaned down to capture her lips in a kiss. Their lips moved together for a while, naturally, until Santana pulled back. "I think you're ready for me." She breathed out, studying her wife's features intently. A hint of nerves flashed in her eyes and Santana noticed immediately. "Do you still want to do this?"

Brittany couldn't deny the fact that she was slightly nervous but her feelings of desire for Santana outweighed those nerves. She reached up to stroke the back of her hand down Santana's cheek as she nodded slowly. "Yes."

Santana smiled and turned her head to press a kiss to Brittany's palm. She climbed off the blonde and got out of bed. Brittany followed her with her eyes as she wiggled out of her shorts before picking up the black, average-sized strap-on. It took some figuring out but eventually it was securely strapped to her hips. Brittany bit her lip, her arousal building even more. Every time she thought that there was no way for Santana to be even sexier than she already was, the woman proved her wrong. She could take her breath away with just a single look.

"I love you." Santana said softly as she returned to her previous position in between Brittany's legs.

"I love you too." Brittany whispered back, placing her hands on Santana's shoulders. Her wife kissed her again, trapping the strap-on in between them, and she groaned into it, feeling the hardness press firmly against her stomach. Pulling away, Santana rested their foreheads together.

"I'll go slow." She mumbled lowly, pressing another light kiss to Brittany's lips just because she could. Brittany nodded in response, spreading her legs wider. Santana swallowed thickly and took hold of the shaft, slightly pulling back. She guided the toy to Brittany's center and slowly ran it through her wet folds, making sure that it was well lubricated. Brittany moaned at the feeling, her nails digging into Santana's shoulders. Once Santana was certain they were prepared enough, she positioned the head of the strap-on at Brittany's entrance. "Ready?"

Brittany took a deep breath and nodded. Santana placed her free hand on Brittany's thigh, her other hand still wrapped around the base of the shaft, before she slowly began to push forward. She was immediately met with tight resistance and she stopped after an inch or so, her eyes snapping up to Brittany's face to see how she was doing. "Are you okay?" She asked, tenderly massaging the inside of the blonde's thigh.

"Yeah, keep going." Brittany mumbled, letting her arms drop to her sides. Santana inhaled shakily and started to push into her again, but after another inch it was almost impossible to move. Her eyes found Brittany's face again and she immediately froze. Her wife's eyes were squeezed shut, her brow furrowed in an unreadable expression.

"Britt?" Santana called out softly, her hand moving up Brittany's thigh.

"I'm okay." Brittany said quietly, forcing her eyelids open. Santana was looking at her skeptically so she knew that there was no point in lying. "It hurts a little."

"You need to relax." Santana murmured, placing her hand on Brittany's stomach. She pressed her fingers into the area just below her belly button, trying to relieve some tension. "Take deep breaths." She instructed gently. Brittany did as she was told and Santana gave her a moment. Her hand traveled down and she started to rub small circles over the blonde's clit, making her whimper softly. "That feel good?"

Brittany just nodded, her breaths coming out in gasps through her slightly parted lips.

Santana started to press into her again, going as slowly as possible and studying Brittany's features carefully. There was less resistance now that Brittany was more relaxed and she continued to slowly slide forward until finally, their hips were flush together. Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's cheek and then another one to her lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." Brittany said, slightly wiggling her hips, getting used to the feeling of being stretched this much. A jolt of pleasure shot up her spine and she wrapped her arms around Santana's shoulders, needing something to hold onto. Santana was still rubbing her clit and she couldn't stop the moan that escaped her lips. "More." She whispered, burying her face in the curve of Santana's neck. "I need more."

Santana slowly pulled out, retracting almost the entire length, only leaving the head in, before pushing forward again. Brittany moaned loudly when Santana repeated the movement, faster this time. Santana's thrusts were experimental at first as she tried to figure out a rhythm with her wife. Soon, the fake member was pumping in and out of Brittany's center at a steady pace, sliding into her more easily with each push of her hips.

"Oh god." Brittany panted heavily, tightening her arms around Santana's back. It felt more amazing than she could've imagined. The toy hit and stretched her walls with every thrust, creating the most amazing sensations. She felt so full and perfect. Her hands traveled down to Santana's ass and she started to buck her hips up, pulling Santana in deeper.

Santana whimpered against Brittany's neck. She could feel how tight Brittany was by the resulting pressure on her clit. Sitting up slightly, she wrapped both of her hands around Brittany's thighs and focused all her attention on her thrusts. Brittany's jaw dropped when Santana's hips jutted forward more forcefully, using all her strength.

"Fuck Santana." She gasped out, her grip on the brunette's ass tightening. Her back arched when Santana brushed against a particular sensitive spot and she cried out in ecstasy. "Yes, right there!"

"You're so tight." Santana groaned, making sure to hit the same spot deep inside Brittany again and again with each roll of her hips. The end of the strap-on bumped into Santana's clit with each pump and she could feel her own orgasm building rapidly. Her eyes flickered down to where the toy disappeared in and out of Brittany's center in quick spurts, coated in her juices, and she almost came right then and there.

"I-I'm close." Brittany told her, her face contorted in pleasure.

Santana removed her hand from the blonde's thigh and brought it to her clit again, rubbing the hardened nub expertly. Brittany let out a moan of approval, her knees pressed against Santana's hips as their now sweat-dampened bodies continued to move together. Santana was so close, she just needed some more stimulation. As if reading her mind, Brittany cupped her breasts, pinching her nipples, and she let out trembling breath.

She could feel Brittany getting tighter around the strap-on and it only took a few more deep thrusts before she came undone, crying out her name as she convulsed violently. Santana almost couldn't move with the way Brittany's walls clamped down on the fake member but she continued to thrust slowly and soon she toppled over the edge as well, her hips stilling.

Santana collapsed against Brittany, breathing heavily into the blonde's neck. Brittany's body was still trembling slightly from the aftershocks of her orgasm and she weakly wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist. Santana pressed a kiss to her jaw. "That was…"

"I know." Brittany said softly when Santana trailed off.

They lay there for a while, both catching their breath, until Santana sat up and slowly began to pull out. Brittany winced slightly when the toy was removed from her sensitive core and Santana looked at her in concern. "You okay, Britt?"

"I'm perfect." Brittany murmured sleepily, the same blissful expression from before spreading across her features. "Now come cuddle me."

Santana smiled and quickly took off the strap-on, putting it aside to clean up later. She crawled back into bed and rested her head on Brittany's chest, their legs tangling together. She pulled the covers over them and sighed contentedly as Brittany's arms wrapped around her, holding her close. Santana listened to Brittany's heartbeat before placing a kiss on her chest. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

* * *

The next couple of days were filled with more love-making, beach time, shopping trips and romantic dinners. What Santana enjoyed most was being able to spend so much alone time with Brittany. It was like they were in their own private bubble and she couldn't be happier. However, time seemed to fly and before they knew it, it was almost time to go home.

It was the last night of their honeymoon and they were currently sitting outside in the sand, watching the sunset. Santana was positioned in between Brittany's legs. Brittany's arms were wrapped around her waist and her chin was resting on her shoulder. The blonde watched the sky with twinkling eyes and turned her head to kiss Santana's cheek. "So beautiful."

"Hmm." Santana hummed and Brittany could tell that she was distracted.

"What's wrong?" She asked softly, lifting her hand to tuck a few strands of hair behind Santana's ear.

"Nothing." Santana said with a shake of the head, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Brittany pressed another kiss to her cheek before whispering, "Tell me." in her ear. Santana covered Brittany's hands with her own and when she spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Sometimes I can't help but wonder if they ever think of me."

"Your parents?" Brittany questioned softly. Santana nodded solemnly. Brittany nuzzled her wife's cheek with her nose and then placed a lingering kiss just below her eye. "It's okay to miss them, San. I told you that before." She spoke softly. "There's nothing wrong with it."

Santana bit her lip in thought. "I know but I just wish that I could forget about them."

"I know it's hard, sweetheart. But you can't help how you feel." Brittany told her, squeezing her waist in affection. "I know it's hard to understand why you miss them after all the hurtful things they said to you. But you had some great times together; times that you'll never forget. People change but what we feel when we think of the memories we share with them will always be the same."

Santana looked at her intently, her eyes glistening in the light. "How do you move on?"

"It's not easy. But remember that there are so many people who love you for who you are. I know it hurts to know that your parents chose not to be in your life anymore because of who you are but you can't change." She paused, swallowing the lump in her throat as her own emotions caught up with her. "And I wouldn't want you to change for the world. Because then you wouldn't be you and I'd lose the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me."

Santana took a shaky breath, tears abruptly welling up in her eyes. "I wish you would listen to your own advice, Britt."

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked, confused.

"You always worry too much." Santana began to explain, shifting in Brittany's arms to meet her eyes. "You're always afraid that you're not good enough. But you just explained it so well yourself. I love everything about you, including your fears and insecurities. You're perfect in my eyes. And I'm so proud of you for all you have accomplished since we met."

Brittany smiled shyly. "I'll never stop trying, San."

"I know." Santana whispered. "And that's all I'm asking of you."

"I'll keep going to therapy." Brittany continued, leaning into Santana's touch as the brunette gently stroked her cheek. "It has helped me so much already and I don't ever want to go back to the way I was before. I couldn't have done all this without you."

"You did it all yourself, babe." Santana said with a smile.

Leaning closer, Brittany brought their lips together for a slow kiss. Santana closed her eyes and melted into her touch, pulling Brittany even closer. When oxygen became a necessity, Brittany broke the kiss. Their faces were still close together, their noses touching, when she quietly asked, "So, are you ready to face the world together and see what the future holds for us?"

Santana's smile widened and she leaned in to press another light kiss to Brittany's lips. "I can't wait."

 **The end.**


End file.
